When Qi Yan woke up the next morning, he was somewhat unable to tell what time it was. He issued a voice command to his personal terminal to announce the time but Pojun responded even faster than the terminal.
“It is currently six thirty seven in the morning.”
With the vague feeling that he had slept for a very long time, Qi Yan sat up. Only then did he realize that what he had been holding in his arms was Lu Fenghan’s military uniform jacket, which had already been crushed into a mass of wrinkles.
He rubbed his temples before remembering something.
“How did I… get back last night?”
Pojun reported truthfully, “The general carried you back.” It even made an effort to describe the scene in detail. “He carried you horizontally, with his left arm supporting the bend of your knees and his right arm supporting your upper body. The general said that you had gotten lighter again. After placing you on the bed, the general remained seated beside your bed for half an hour.”
“Half an hour?”
Pojun replied, “Yes. Humans are very strange. The general simply sat beside the bed and watched you for thirty six minutes and twenty seven seconds. He did not leave until it was time for the meeting.”
Hearing this, Qi Yan could not help but freeze for a moment.
Although he had not witnessed the scene with his own eyes, Qi Yan could easily picture it in his mind from Pojun’s description. He pressed his palm against his chest, feeling as though something here had given a very faint beat.
He was not certain whether it was merely an illusion.
After washing up, the hair along the edge of Qi Yan’s hairline was damp. He asked, “Can I go to the command room to find the general now?”
The question was addressed to Pojun but in reality, the person he was asking was Lu Fenghan. A few seconds later, Pojun conveyed Lu Fenghan’s reply.
“Of course you can.”
It was only after opening the door that Qi Yan realized, the debugging of the new detection system had already been completed. After last night’s first battle, the detection results had been verified to be precise and without error and the central control system had also been fully optimized.
Once everything that needed to be dealt with had been taken care of, his first reaction had been to go and find Lu Fenghan.
Before this person had returned, even after losing his emotions and sensations, he had still felt that nothing was particularly different from before.
But now,
That sense of “something missing,” which he had once ignored, had become distinctly apparent.
After hearing that Lu Fenghan had sat beside his bed and watched him for half an hour, after realizing that his very first reaction had been to go looking for Lu Fenghan,
I should have some kind of emotion.
Happiness? Joy? Eagerness?
No. It seemed that none of those were quite right.
Yet Qi Yan also realized that even if he searched through the entire Alliance Common Language dictionary, he still would not be able to find a word that could appropriately describe what he was feeling.
Or perhaps his emotions did indeed fall somewhere within the words contained in the dictionary but he himself simply could not determine which one it was.
At this moment, the emptiness in his heart became increasingly pronounced. Qi Yan even felt a faint chill.
When he arrived at the command room, Vincent was rubbing a pair of reddened eyes as he yawned. The moment he saw Qi Yan enter, he pointed toward where Lu Fenghan was and quickly said, “Good night,” before hugging his record board and slipping out in a few quick steps.
Only the two of them remained in the command room.
Lu Fenghan was standing beside the porthole. A small vessel piloted by the patrol team passed by outside, its lights shining through the window and casting Lu Fenghan’s figure onto the metallic wall.
Qi Yan stepped closer. “You didn’t sleep all night?”
There was no sign of fatigue on Lu Fenghan’s face. He merely answered with an “Mm” before asking first, “Have you eaten anything?”
Qi Yan shook his head.
Lu Fenghan took out a peach flavored nutritional supplement, tore open the seal and brought it to Qi Yan’s lips.
Almost entirely on reflex, Qi Yan bit down on the nutritional supplement and began drinking.
It was a very familiar flavor.
Only then did Lu Fenghan begin to explain. “After the PINGNING led the fleet back, the people below would report the battle damage upward layer by layer, with me making the final determination. The records submitted by the logistics department also need to be reviewed and approved in time. As for the wounded, they can find a medical robot or enter a medical pod, so I don’t need to personally handle those matters but I have to review the names of those who died. Once all the miscellaneous matters were dealt with, I called everyone together for a meeting. The newly recaptured planets need to have their defenses arranged, the star regions being reassigned to the Alliance need patrol routes established and the data reported by the new detection system needs to be signed and archived. That’s why I still haven’t slept until now.”
Lu Fenghan liked the process of explaining each matter to Qi Yan, one by one. It was as though he were slowly and carefully opening up every part of his own domain before Qi Yan, allowing him to see it clearly and letting him know exactly what he was doing.
Qi Yan listened attentively. After finishing the nutritional supplement, he unconsciously stepped half a pace closer to Lu Fenghan.
As a result, the coldness rising from deep within his body faded by several degrees.
Remembering what Lu Fenghan had said to him in the equipment room earlier, Qi Yan reached out his hand.
“I’m cold.”
Lu Fenghan looked somewhat surprised.
But almost immediately, he enclosed Qi Yan’s offered hand within his own, using his body heat to warm him.
Lu Fenghan’s movements were completely natural. Instead, Qi Yan found himself adding a note to his own behavior.
“You said it yourself. If my hand hurts, if I have a nightmare, or if there’s anywhere that feels uncomfortable, I can come find you.”
Lu Fenghan’s heart softened into a complete mess and he turned his face slightly to hide the smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
So obedient.
He could almost hear the sudden, rapid pounding of the artery at the side of his neck. An urgent feeling rose in his heart along with it, an impulse to pull the person in front of him into his arms yet he was afraid that he might frighten him, so he forcibly suppressed the emotion that had surged up without warning.
To keep himself from acting on that impulse, Lu Fenghan continued to hold Qi Yan’s hand in his own as he turned the conversation to something more serious. “Starting today, you’re going to begin reducing the medication, right?”
Qi Yan answered, “Yes. That’s what Elisa arranged but after this medication was developed, I’m the only person who has ever taken it. The computers have run through a great deal of data but there’s still a lack of clinical experience.”
Lu Fenghan had specifically spoken with Elisa twice and both conversations had been about this very issue.
The medication had primarily been developed to strip away Qi Yan’s emotions and maintain him in a state of “absolute rationality,” allowing him to withstand the confusion of his memories and the impact of negative emotions.
Now that Lu Fenghan had returned, Elisa believed that although Qi Yan’s memories still contained countless powerful negative emotions, surging endlessly like waves, Lu Fenghan was more than enough to become the long embankment holding them back.
Even so, everyone involved was being extremely cautious. They were worried that stopping the medication too suddenly might trigger a severe withdrawal reaction in Qi Yan.
Familiar with Qi Yan’s habits, Lu Fenghan asked, “You’re supposed to take the medicine later?”
“Mm but it’s in my room. I didn’t bring it with me.”
“I’ll go back with you.”
Qi Yan looked at him questioningly.
Lu Fenghan understood at once. “I’ve finished dealing with everything on my end. The rebel force stationed closest to us is commanded by Tang Na and he’s extremely suspicious by nature. I didn’t show myself for the entire previous year, so he’s probably already imagined dozens of possible explanations and after their disastrous defeat in this first battle, they definitely won’t be able to figure out in such a short time how they lost so quickly and so thoroughly. They might even suspect that someone inside their ranks leaked information and start frantically searching for a traitor.”
“So there won’t be any fighting for the time being?”
“Right. Not for now. Tang Na won’t dare act recklessly.” Lu Fenghan led him toward the exit. “Aside from the personnel on duty, I’ve sent everyone else back to sleep. We need to conserve our strength so we can secure a second victory.”
Even so, on the way from the command room to Qi Yan’s quarters, they continued to encounter soldiers in military uniforms one after another.
Their expressions made it obvious that although Lu Fenghan had ordered everyone to rest separately, the first victory they had achieved after being suppressed and frustrated for so long had invigorated countless people. Even the air aboard the command ship seemed to have been filled with some mysterious, unidentified excitement.
With Lu Fenghan accompanying him, what should have been a short journey from the command room to Qi Yan’s room proceeded at an extraordinarily slow pace. Every few steps, someone would stop along the side of the passageway, straighten their chest and draw in their abdomen before giving a crisp military salute. Lu Fenghan had no choice but to stop each time and solemnly return the salute.
As for Qi Yan, who followed beside Lu Fenghan, those people merely stole a few discreet glances. None of them dared look for even a second longer than necessary. After completing their salute, they immediately moved on.
Lu Fenghan knew that Vincent had probably already smoothed over the matter of Qi Yan’s identity when he boarded the ship, so there was nothing for him to worry about.
Once they entered the room, Qi Yan found the transparent medicine bottle. He poured a single dose into his palm, then removed one tablet from it.
Lu Fenghan brought him some water.
After taking the medicine, Qi Yan spoke. “You… don’t you want to go back and rest first?”
Lu Fenghan had never intended to leave after coming in. “No need. Being with you is more useful than sleeping for ten hours.”
Qi Yan did not know how he was supposed to respond to that.
He could tell that the statement did not conform to logic. There was some kind of emotion contained within those words that he still could not understand.
So he chose to remain silent.
Lu Fenghan asked him, “After taking this medicine, will it feel like the medicine you took before? Like walking barefoot through the snow?”
“It will.” After comparing the sensations, Qi Yan answered, “It’s a little colder. A very empty kind of cold.”
After saying that, he hesitated again, wondering whether he should be telling Lu Fenghan these things.
Just as he could not understand what it felt like to “have emotions,” Lu Fenghan probably could not understand what it felt like to “have no emotions.”
But Lu Fenghan walked over anyway.
Before Qi Yan could recover from his thoughts, Lu Fenghan reached out and drew him into his arms. “Does this make you feel a little warmer?”
Qi Yan did not speak for several seconds. Only afterward did he give a low answer.
“…It does.”
It was more than simply being a little warmer.
It was as though he were standing barefoot and alone upon a snow covered wilderness and as this person approached him step by step, the ice and snow surrounding him gradually melted, while all things returned to spring.
Two hours after taking the medicine, Qi Yan did not experience many adverse reactions. His fingers were only trembling slightly.
He recorded the time and his symptoms, then looked toward Lu Fenghan again.
Lu Fenghan was reclining against the long sofa, a virtual screen unfolded before him as he reviewed and approved the documents that had been submitted.
An unfamiliar longing suddenly welled up from the depths of Qi Yan’s heart.
Following that instinct, Qi Yan walked over to the sofa. After hesitating for two seconds, he lay down beside Lu Fenghan.
Only then did the inexplicable urgency in his heart gradually ease.
Lu Fenghan lowered his voice. “Sleepy?”
Qi Yan curled up on his side beside him and answered softly, “It should be a reaction to reducing the medication.”
Otherwise, he had no way to explain his own behavior.
Lu Fenghan understood.
There was a smile in his voice. “You little clingy thing.”
Qi Yan did not deny it.
Not long after those words fell, Lu Fenghan’s arm loosely settled around Qi Yan’s shoulders and back, a posture that carried nothing but protection.
After finishing the documents that had been submitted for his approval, Lu Fenghan pinched the bridge of his nose and asked Qi Yan, “Is there anywhere that feels uncomfortable?”
Qi Yan shook his head.
After a moment of hesitation, he suddenly asked, “Do you think I was lying to you?”
“Lying to me about what?”
“When we were on Leto, I never told you my real identity.”
After asking the question, Qi Yan seriously studied the expression on Lu Fenghan’s face.
Lu Fenghan immediately remembered what Elisa had mentioned. During the early stages of reducing the medication, there was a certain possibility that Qi Yan might become insecure, sensitive and excessively worried about things.
So he answered without the slightest hesitation, “Of course not. As far as I’m concerned, no matter what your identity is, you’re still you.”
Qi Yan was very easily reassured by those words.
However, the question also reminded Lu Fenghan that back when they were on Leto, both of them had been unable to clearly reveal their identities to each other for various reasons.
He lowered his eyes and looked at the person lying close beside him.
“Qi Yan.”
“Mm?”
“On the first day you boarded the ship, after you introduced yourself, didn’t I fail to properly introduce myself to you as well?”
Qi Yan nodded.
Not only had Lu Fenghan failed to introduce his identity back then, he had even taken quite a while to accept the hand Qi Yan had extended toward him.
“Then let’s make up for it now.”
In the silence, Lu Fenghan’s voice was low and listening to it made Qi Yan’s ears feel faintly itchy.
“Lu Fenghan, of the command ship of the Expeditionary Force on the Southern Cross Region front line, under the Alliance Central Military Corps.”
“Hello, Little Chief.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Vynellia
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
The translator would like coffee. This message contains no further arguments.
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 50 · I am Pojun.Chapter 51 · Unable to deceive oneselfChapter 52 · Resurrected from the deadChapter 53 · Hello, General!Chapter 54 · My hand is injured.Chapter 55 · Come to my place.Chapter 56 · First VictoryChapter 57 · Self-introductionChapter 58 · Never changedChapter 59 · One reasonChapter 60 · Gentle and restrainedChapter 61 · Only you are allowed.Chapter 62 · To the Souls of the FallenChapter 63 · His reliefChapter 64 · His ambitionChapter 65 · Date TimeChapter 66 Part 1 · Abducting PlanetsChapter 66 Part 2 · Abducting PlanetsChapter 67 · Did not leaveChapter 68 · Perceiving EmotionsChapter 69 · My own effortsChapter 70 · Bright FlameChapter 71 · Dress codeChapter 72 · Take me with you!Chapter 73 · MirageChapter 74 · I’m used to it.