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Losing My Emotions and Desires While Facing Death, the Whole Capital Weeps at My Grave

Chapter 18 / 20

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Chapter 18 of 20

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Chapter 18

Losing My Emotions and Desires While Facing Death, the Whole Capital Weeps at My Grave

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Xue Zhaofei rolled his eyes. “You went to Ningyuan Houfu and bullied cousin again! Why are you always like this, so unlikeable! Come with me now to apologize to cousin, or I’ll never be nice to you again…”

Before Xue Zhaofei could finish, the pastry in Xue Ning’s hand was thrown right into his arms.

Seeing Xue Ning leave coldly, Xue Zhaofei was at a loss. In the past, whenever he used this tactic on her, she would always make peace. What was wrong this time?Full novel: Losing My Emotions and Desires While Facing Death, the Whole Capital Weeps at My Grave — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

Xue Zhaofei didn’t understand. Ever since he returned home from the training grounds this time, he felt that Xue Ning had somehow changed.

“Xue Ning! I haven’t finished talking to you yet. How did you become like this!”

Xue Ning was stopped by Xue Zhaofei. She pried open his fingers gripping her, speaking word by word with a calmness that was startling.

“Xue Zhaofei, the one who changed is you, not me. You’ve grown up now; you should have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. It was you who once said you would believe me no matter what happened. And now, it’s still you who wants to force me to apologize.”

Xue Ning’s words made Xue Zhaofei’s face flush with guilt. He wanted to retort but was speechless, fuming to say something, only to be completely silenced by Xue Ning’s next words.

“Also, I hate peonies the most. The one who likes peonies is Xue Mingzhu. Don’t send them to me anymore in the future. I can’t accept your kindness.”

This time, when Xue Ning left, Xue Zhaofei did not stop her.

Watching Xue Ning’s retreating figure, Xue Zhaofei felt an inexplicable irritation, his mind in turmoil. He recalled the days in the mansion when no one would play with him, when he was mischievous and unruly—only Xue Ning was willing to accompany him, coax him, and tolerate him unconditionally.

This version of Xue Ning had made him forget about giving, only wanting to take, to the point where he couldn’t even remember a single thing Xue Ning liked.

Dinner.

The Xue family ate their meal almost in complete silence. The atmosphere was somewhat heavy and subtle, each lost in their own thoughts.

Xue Youdao hastily put down his chopsticks, saying he still had official documents to review, and left the table.

Xue Mingzhu also hurriedly excused herself. Because of Xue Ning’s ‘threat,’ she was worried that Zhao Pan would wake up, and then her formidable aunt-in-law would come to the Xue family to cause trouble for her, which would ruin all her years of efforts.

Xue Zhaofei brought up, “Where has Second Brother been these days?”

Xue Yan paused briefly. “He’s currently at Taiyiyuan. Entering the palace makes it inconvenient for him to return home.”

What he didn’t say was that Xue Yulang had been running around outside these days, trying to find the master craftsman who originally made the Linglong Jiu Zhen, because Xue Ning had taken them back and he wanted to have a new set made. These two siblings were both refusing to yield.

In Xue Yan’s view, this was both naive and absurd. Xue Ning was actually quite easy to coax; if you treated her well, she would always be obedient.

For example, today he heard from his friend Su Zhan that he saw Xue Ning entering Ningyuan Houfu. Xue Yan figured Xue Ning was probably doing it for his sake, wanting to understand Old Madam Jiang’s preferences to refine the embroidery on the screen further.

“Mother, Xue Ning has been staying in the Fotang for several days now. Has the family still not prepared a suitable courtyard for her?”

Madam Wen paused, then said, “These past few days, I’ve been busy helping Mingzhu with the shanghuayan and forgot about this matter. I’ll do it later…”

Xue Yan shook his head, frowning as he looked at Madam Wen and said seriously, “Mother, don’t forget, Xue Ning is also your daughter.”

Madam Wen’s face flushed with heat, feeling the embarrassment of being exposed by her own son. “You child, what nonsense are you talking? I simply forgot, it’s not that I don’t care about her.”

Madam Wen complained, “I gave her rouge earlier and even invited her to dine together. It’s Xue Ning herself who isn’t considerate. Mingzhu would never be like this…”

She always unconsciously compared Xue Ning with Xue Mingzhu.

“Today, Xue Ning followed Mingzhu to Ningyuan Houfu. Clearly, she didn’t have a baitie, yet I don’t know how she got in. When she returned, she upset your father. Mingzhu cried until her eyes were red and ate very little at dinner. The whole family indulged her—what more does she want?”

Madam Wen wondered whose baitie Xue Ning had used to enter Ningyuan Houfu.

Xue Yan said, “I heard she used the baitie Aunt wrote for Old Madam Jiang.”

Upon hearing this, Madam Wen immediately looked displeased. “What? I am her mother. Why didn’t she come to me instead of seeking help from others? The Wen family has already cut ties with that disgraceful one, yet she clings to her. What will others think if they find out?”

“I only refused to write a baitie for her once, and she holds a grudge and turns to Wen Rushuang? Isn’t she deliberately provoking me?”

Madam Wen felt a sour, jealous taste in her heart. Back before she was married, she could never surpass Wen Rushuang in anything, always competing with her. Later, Wen Rushuang got involved with a man from the jianghu, angering their father and completely severing ties with the Wen family.

Now, her daughter sought help from Wen Rushuang, making her feel uncomfortable, as if she had returned to her youth when she was always inferior to Wen Rushuang.

Xue Yan disagreed. “Mother, Xue Ning went to Ningyuan Houfu for my sake as her elder brother. If she asks you to write a baitie in the future, don’t refuse her. For now, let’s not disappoint her and delay important matters.”

Madam Wen sighed softly, her tone easing. “I don’t know why, but ever since Third Brother’s incident, seeing Xue Ning perfectly fine, I feel that being close to her would be a betrayal to Third Brother…”

“Never mind, I’ll tidy up a courtyard and go find Xue Ning later.”

Three days later.

Madam Wen helped Xue Mingzhu host a grand shanghuayan in the mansion, inviting many noblewomen from the capital.

Watching their praises for Xue Mingzhu, she felt a sense of satisfaction, believing that her years of effort in raising her daughter had not been in vain.

However, during the banquet, someone casually asked, “Madam Xue, I remember you have a younger daughter. Why isn’t she at the banquet?”

Madam Wen’s dignified smile cracked slightly for the first time. “She dislikes crowds and doesn’t care for flowers.”

Upon hearing this, the others exchanged glances, their expressions varied, and they became even more convinced that the fifth daughter of the Xue family was not favored by her own mother and was unfit for public appearances.

Indeed, they should still befriend Xue Mingzhu, the fourth daughter of the Xue family. It seemed that only Xue Mingzhu was the treasured pearl of the Xue family and the one to consider for marriage alliances. Even though Xue Mingzhu was adopted, her favor and reputation far surpassed that of Xue Ning, the legitimate daughter.

Xue Mingzhu smiled brightly. “Thank you for your hard work, Mother, in arranging this banquet for me…”

Madam Wen affectionately tapped her head. “Whatever you want, when have I ever failed to fulfill your wishes?”

After everyone had left and the mansion grew quiet, Madam Wen, for some unknown reason, suddenly thought of Xue Ning. She recalled the hopeful look in Xue Ning’s eyes as she gazed at her, and the cautious way she had made her requests…

She shook her head, unwilling to admit that she was a biased mother.

The next day.

Madam Wen arrived at the Fotang early in the morning with Nanny Liu, only to find that Xue Ning was not there.

Full novel: Losing My Emotions and Desires While Facing Death, the Whole Capital Weeps at My Grave — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
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