She uttered only a single word, “Alright.”
The light in Xue Ning’s eyes dimmed. The matter of the poisoning need not be mentioned again.
Xue Ning withdrew from Madam Wen’s embrace and bowed to her.
“Since Mother’s wish has been fulfilled, your daughter will take her leave first.”
Madam Wen’s hand, clutching the silk handkerchief, paused. Her expression turned awkward, and her lips trembled slightly as if she wanted to call Xue Ning back, but she did not know what else to say to her. She even felt somewhat afraid of seeing the disappointment in Xue Ning’s eyes, and in the end, she did not stop her.
Xue Ning walked out of the room. Though her footsteps were light, her feet felt as if they were weighed down by lead. Her face pale, she stood numbly by the window frame, trying to calm herself.
In the darkness of the night, when Nanny Liu entered the room, she did not notice that Xue Ning had not yet left the corner.
Their voices drifted faintly through the window frame into Xue Ning’s ears.
Madam Wen complained to Nanny Liu, “That child Xue Ning is simply not as likable as Mingzhu. If she was unwilling, she could have just told me directly. I’ve been asking after her well-being, yet she doesn’t even give me a smile. She seems cold-hearted to me…”
Nanny Liu advised, “But even if the Fifth Young Miss is unwilling, she still cares about you, Madam. She is very obedient.”
Madam Wen’s tone was regretful and complex, “If Third Brother were still here, he would be the most filial and obedient in this family.”
……
Every word Xue Ning heard felt like a stab to her heart.
No matter what she did, would she never be able to gain her family’s approval? Because she was the sinner who had ‘caused the death’ of the best Third Brother.
Xue Ning’s eyes stung with unshed tears. Gazing at the moonlight, she tried to smile but found the corners of her lips numb and stiff, utterly unable to lift.
So, it turned out that when she first suffered the poisoning yesterday, the first thing she lost was joy—she could no longer smile.
Thus, she was destined never to be a child who could satisfy her mother. From now on, she should no longer yearn for her mother’s affection.
In the future, toward her mother, she would only fulfill her duties, no longer hoping for emotional bonds. She would repay the debt of her birth, and in the next life, she would owe nothing more. She did not want to be her daughter anymore.
Xue Ning did not know how she made her way back to Xiyan Yuan.
When Rendong saw her, she asked with concern, “Young Miss, did Madam stand up for you?”
Xue Ning’s voice was soft, slightly hoarse and detached, as she looked toward the room. “Rendong, pack our things. We’ll move to the Buddhist hall now. The courtyard is to be given to Xue Mingzhu.”
Rendong paused for a moment, her eyes instantly reddening. “Young Miss, I’ll pack right away. You sit over there for a while; don’t tire yourself.”
Seeing Rendong secretly wiping away tears, Xue Ning walked over, using her silk handkerchief to gently dab at the teardrops, and sighed.
“Don’t cry. It’s all because I’m not a good master, dragging you into moving courtyards in the middle of the night.”
Rendong hugged Xue Ning heartbrokenly. “I just feel sorry for you, Young Miss. Clearly, you’ve done nothing wrong. How can they be so biased?”
“Silly girl, it’s alright. I don’t care anymore.”
Xue Ning wanted to smile at Rendong to comfort her but suddenly remembered—she could no longer smile.
Xue Ning glanced around Xiyan Yuan, now left with only old furniture. She opened the box of rouge in her palm, and a faint scent of peony blossoms wafted toward her…
A sense of irony and numbness filled Xue Ning’s heart. She twisted the lid back on and directly left the box of rouge on the dressing table as well.
This box of rouge, and this Xiyan Yuan—she wanted neither anymore.
Early the next morning.
Madam Wen said to Nanny Liu, “Go take a look at Xiyan Yuan and find a few people to help, so that child won’t think I, as her mother, don’t care enough about her.”
Nanny Liu replied, “Yes, Madam.”
But when Nanny Liu arrived at Xiyan Yuan, she found that both the courtyard and the rooms had long been tidied up. Even the belongings belonging to Xue Ning in the cabinets had all been taken away.
On the bare dressing table, a delicate box of rouge stood out prominently.
Nanny Liu recognized it at a glance and understood that the Fifth Miss had already moved to the Buddhist hall.
She picked up the rouge, turned around, and headed back to Madam Wen’s courtyard, only to look up and bump into the eldest young master. She quickly greeted him with a smile.
Xue Yan’s handsome face darkened slightly. “Did Mother really punish Xue Ning and make her kneel in the Buddhist hall as punishment?”
He had just heard the servants say that Xue Ning had moved to the Buddhist hall late at night with her maid.
Nanny Liu hurriedly explained, “Young Master, you’ve misunderstood. Madam did not punish Fifth Miss. It’s because Miss Mingzhu needs to practice the qin, and Xiyan Yuan is quiet, so Fifth Miss temporarily moved to the Buddhist hall to make room.”
Xue Yan said nothing more. Watching Nanny Liu’s retreating figure, he felt an indescribable sense of unease.
In the past, he hadn’t felt that the family favored Xue Mingzhu so much, but this time, even he couldn’t confidently say that the family treated Xue Ning well.
Frowning, Xue Yan left for court, feeling unsettled over Xue Ning for the first time.
During the evening meal.
Xue Yulang’s gaze kept fixed on the doorway. Seeing the dishes already served, he grew somewhat restless.
Xue Yulang complained, “Why hasn’t Xue Ning arrived yet? Does the whole family have to wait for her to start the meal?”
He had waited all day but hadn’t received an apology or submission from Xue Ning, nor had she returned the Linglong Jiu Zhen to him. Frustrated, he had even sent someone to inquire about where the master who crafted the Linglong Jiu Zhen lived, thinking he could simply have a new set custom-made, but he hadn’t gotten any answers.
So, as soon as the evening meal began, Xue Yulang eagerly came here to confront Xue Ning.
Xue Yan spoke in a low voice, “No need to wait. She probably won’t come for the meal, as the Buddhist hall is too far from here.”
Sure enough, a maid soon entered and whispered to Madam Wen.
“Madam, Fifth Miss says she’ll eat at the Buddhist hall and won’t come to the main courtyard for meals in the future.”
Madam Wen was taken aback, feeling an inexplicable sense of discomfort.
In the past, Xue Ning had been punished with stays in the Buddhist hall before, but the family had never confined her there. She had never complained about the distance and had always cherished the opportunity to dine and meet with her family.
Especially with her, as her mother.
But this time, Xue Ning wasn’t coming. Why?
Madam Wen furrowed her brow. Was it just over a courtyard? Was Xue Ning throwing a tantrum with her, her mother?
Xue Yulang’s voice unconsciously rose. “What? Xue Ning is staying in the Buddhist hall? What’s going on?”
Xue Yan briefly explained the situation. Xue Yulang opened his mouth, seemingly shocked.
“But the house is so big, it’s not like there aren’t other courtyards to stay in…”