Susu was held tightly by him, kissed until her skin felt hot, her entire body softening like mud. Yet, he never eased his grip, as if punishing her, and also punishing himself.
That night, they were intimate again and again. It seemed only by merging their bodies could they stop their longing.
Afterward, neither of them spoke of love, nor did they discuss the future. Before he left, Susu looked at him and said only one sentence: "I beg you to protect me, don't hurt me anymore." He offered no promise, only lowered his head and bid her farewell with a kiss.
He flew back to Beijing. As soon as he landed, he sent Susu a message: "I've arrived in Beijing, I miss you so much."
Susu looked at the words, a wave of warmth spreading through her heart, but she didn't reply. She wasn't sure what he was thinking or what he would do.
Around eleven o'clock in the evening, Xin Che sent another message: "Don't ignore me, I can't sleep."
Susu stared at the screen for a while, and finally couldn't bear it, replying: "If you can't sleep, then think of me more."
He reread that reply several times, a smile lingering on his lips for a long time, as if his world had gained more color.
......................
In Beijing in April, the sky was like it was veiled with gauze, even the sunlight seemed weary. Xin Che sat on the sofa in the living room, staring blankly at Ji Xiaoran beside him. After much deliberation, he finally spoke: "Xiaoran, let's break up."
Ji Xiaoran seemed to have anticipated this. She put down the computer in her hands, forced a smile, and asked, "Who is that girl?"
Xin Che was stunned for a moment, then after a pause, he said, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault." He lowered his head and rubbed his fingertips, forcing himself to say, "You can keep this suite. You always liked it anyway."
Ji Xiaoran turned her head, tears falling one by one, silently splashing onto the back of her hand with its distinct knuckles. She didn't question him or try to keep him; she was terrifyingly quiet, yet it was more unbearable than any scolding.
They remained silent for a long time, until she calmed her emotions and looked at him, asking, "When did you two start?"
Xin Che could no longer bear to lie to her. He confessed haltingly: "She and I got together at the end of last year, and broke up a month later. After that, I tried to move on... I'm sorry, I couldn't... Last week, I met her again."
Ji Xiaoran's tone was calm: "I have only one request. I want to meet that girl."
Xin Che's mind was in chaos. After a long pause, he managed to squeeze out: "I'll go ask her."
That day, Xin Che called Susu: "Can you come to Beijing this weekend?"
Susu replied: "If there's nothing at the Company, I probably can."
"Wait for me to finish. You're not even asking why I want you to come to Beijing." After saying that, Xin Che fell silent, unsure how to begin.
Susu asked: "Then why do you want me to go to Beijing?"
"I talked to her about breaking up today. She said she wants to meet you." Hearing no response from Susu, he braced himself and said, "I know this isn't something you should have to face. It's just that I've been with her for ten years, and she said this is her only request."
Susu remained silent.
He continued: "If you're unwilling, then forget it."
Susu replied: "Let me think about it. I'll tell you in a few days."
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