On the first night after her rebirth, Mei Wanying slept restlessly.
In her hazy dreams, it felt as though she had returned to her previous life.
Everything she had experienced replayed endlessly in her mind.
Chaotic.
Confusing.
In the end, the memories that trapped her were the years she had spent married to Pei Yan.
Because she had forced the marriage, not only had her relationship with Pei Yan frozen over, but even the people in the Prince Chen Residence looked down on her.
On the surface, they treated her respectfully.
Her food, clothing, and daily necessities were never lacking.
But in reality, they ignored her authority completely.
Whatever she did, they watched with cold indifference.
Occasionally, they would appear only to stop her from entering certain parts of the residence.
Everything in the manor was managed by designated personnel.
She was not allowed to review the accounts.
She had no control over staffing matters.
She did not belong there.
Only then did Mei Wanying realize that when Pei Yan said her life or death had nothing to do with him, he had not spoken in anger.
He had proven it through his actions.
Even after marrying him, she could never enter his heart.
Nor could she become part of his life.
On the surface, she was Princess Consort Chen.
In reality, she was nothing more than an outsider.
Life inside the residence was difficult.
Life outside it was no better.
Every time she entered the palace, the Empress either ordered her to copy scriptures as “atonement” or made her stand and wait for hours.
She was neither the woman Pei Yan wanted to marry nor someone the Empress favored.
Gradually, noble families stopped inviting her to their gatherings.
When she occasionally went out, people pointed and whispered behind her back.
Those mocking gazes and expressions of amusement cut into her like knives.
They drew no blood.
Yet they hurt enough to make her cry.
Being rejected everywhere was unbearable.
Mei Wanying had no one she could confide in.
She wrote letters to Pei Yan, but he never replied.
He truly meant every word he said.
Slowly, she stopped going out altogether.
Just as Pei Yan had once declared, she remained alone in that enormous residence, left to live or die by herself.
The mansion was magnificent.
And unbearably cold.
In only a few short months, Mei Wanying withered away.
The cheerful and lively girl she once was became lifeless and silent.
She thought she would die in that lonely, frozen residence.
Then one day, she began experiencing morning sickness.
After examining her pulse, the physician informed her that she was already more than three months pregnant.
Before that, she had been so depressed that she had not even noticed her missed monthly cycle.
A tiny life had quietly taken root within her.
Mei Wanying laughed and cried at the same time.
Perhaps there was still hope between her and Pei Yan.
Like a drowning person grasping the last straw, she traveled to the border without hesitation, hoping their child could move his heart.
She would change whatever he disliked.
She only wished he would not leave her alone in that residence.
She could no longer endure a life where everyone rejected her.
The journey to the border filled her with anxiety.
She comforted herself repeatedly.
At worst, Pei Yan would ignore her.
At worst, he would speak a few cold words.
He would not hit her.
As long as she was thick-skinned enough and relied on the child, perhaps he would soften.
She was nervous.
And hopeful.
The moment she saw him, she held back her tears and forced a smile onto her face.
Before she could speak, Pei Yan stared fixedly at her stomach.
His face filled with fury.
“Mei Wanying, who allowed you to come here?”
“Return immediately!”
Her nose stung.
Her chest felt so tight she could barely breathe.
Parting her lips, she drew a deep breath before finally feeling alive again.
Pretending not to notice his expression, she smiled brightly.
“A-Yan, the baby misses you.”
She missed him too.
Very, very much.
Dark clouds covered Pei Yan’s face.
There was not the slightest joy at becoming a father.
His handsome features were tense.
His jaw was tightly clenched.
He said,
“Mei Wanying, you’re still the same as before. Always forcing others into difficult situations.”
The smile she had struggled to maintain disappeared.
Confusion filled her eyes.
She did not know what to say.
She did not know what to do.
No matter what she tried, she could not earn a kind expression from him.
When she remained silent, his irritation only deepened.
Immediately, he ordered people to send her back to the capital.
“Don’t appear before me again.”
Then he said:
“You’re annoying.”
The tears she had held back for so long instantly fell.
Her emotions had been stretched to the breaking point.
Even seeing Pei Yan had brought no relief.
He was cold.
Heartless.
Unwilling to spare her even another glance.
As her emotions surged, a suffocating pain gripped her chest.
Then she suddenly fainted.
The physician later said she showed signs of a threatened miscarriage.
She needed rest and could not endure a long journey.
Even though Pei Yan was unwilling, she remained at the border.
At that time, Mei Wanying believed heaven had given her another chance.
The truth proved she was wrong again.
Pei Yan dealt her the most devastating blow imaginable.
After that, she could no longer deceive herself.
When it came time to return to the capital, the idea of divorce appeared in her mind for the first time.
She was a person.
Not a stone.
She could feel pain.
She could feel hurt and sadness.
She no longer wanted to be treated with such cold indifference.
She was willing to set Pei Yan free.
Willing to fulfill his wishes and let him be with the woman he loved.
Mei Wanying’s youth had been smooth and carefree.
Afterward, however, every step of her life had become a struggle.
She never made it back to the capital.
Nor did she ever divorce Pei Yan.
She simply died.
Together with the child in her womb.
Two lives lost.
“Miss… wake up…”
Amid the chaos, Mei Wanying heard someone calling anxiously.
Then warm medicine was poured into her mouth.
Bitterness flooded her senses.
Finally, she broke free from the nightmare and regained consciousness.
Dingxiang was terrified.
Two years younger than Mei Wanying, she was crying uncontrollably.
“The physician said you’ve been overthinking things, which is why the nightmare wouldn’t let you wake. Miss, if you’re unhappy, please let it out. Don’t keep everything bottled up.”
Madam Mei was speaking with the physician outside.
The moment she heard voices, she hurried into the room.
“A-Ying, how do you feel?”
Gently touching her daughter’s pale face, Madam Mei was overwhelmed with guilt.
A-Ying had clearly been frightened by that incident.
The household was simple and peaceful.
She had never encountered the schemes and tricks of inner residences before.
Last night, she must have terrified herself the more she thought about it, allowing the nightmare to consume her.
Pei Yan needed to come and propose as soon as possible.
Only then could A-Ying’s fears be eased.
Meeting her mother’s concerned gaze, Mei Wanying felt as though a heavy stone weighed upon her heart.
She could no longer act spoiled and carefree before her mother as she once had.
Two voices argued endlessly within her mind.
One said:
“Mother is doing this for your own good. You love Pei Yan too. It’s a perfect plan—escape the Crown Prince and marry the man you love.”
The other replied:
“You are a living person, not a puppet. No one can claim it’s for your own good while doing something you never agreed to.”
“Your mother is in poor health. You can’t upset her. She truly means well.”
“That still doesn’t justify doing it this way…”
Neither side would yield.
Her head began to ache.
Instinctively, she reached for her temple.
But Madam Mei was faster.
Personally, she began massaging her daughter’s temples.
Mei Wanying lowered her eyes and stared blankly at the embroidery on the quilt.
Only after a long silence did she finally speak.
“Mother, I’m fine.”
Bitterness filled her heart.
If only she had been reborn before last night…
How wonderful that would have been.
She was tired.
She no longer wanted to be entangled with Pei Yan.
But paper could never completely wrap a fire.
Could this matter truly be hidden from Pei Yan forever?