Inside the church, the two grown men’s agonizing confessions gradually subsided, leaving behind only intermittent sobs and muttered words of self-loathing.
The air was saturated with a sorrowful atmosphere known as “social death.”
Perona was thoroughly satisfied as she admired her handiwork.
Watching the two men who had been arguing fiercely only moments ago now sprawled on the floor like a pair of dried salted fish, she couldn’t help thinking that this new world wasn’t so bad after all.
However, the effects of the Negative Hollows were ultimately temporary.
The first to recover was Satou Kazuma.
The despair that had completely overwhelmed his reason receded like a tide, replaced by another, far more specific and piercing form of terror.
What… did I just say?
Tractor… wetting myself… dying of shock… virgin… Excalibur…
Each keyword was like a red-hot branding iron searing his nerves.
He stiffly shifted his eyes and saw the silver-haired natural-perm beside him, still sprawled on the floor.
Then he remembered Gintoki’s confession too.
Old Lady Otose… over sixty… slept with her… monster…
Kazuma’s brain crashed for half a second.
A completely absurd mixture of sympathy and What the hell?!
briefly made him forget his own humiliation.
But the next second, his eyes met Gintoki’s.
Those dead-fish eyes had regained their clarity as well, but they were filled with the exact same horror.
The two men shuddered simultaneously.
They remembered.
Not only had they confessed their own secrets…
They had heard each other’s.
And even worse…
There was a living witness standing right in front of them who had heard everything.
Like wind-up dolls, the two men slowly raised their heads in perfect synchronization and looked toward the Gothic girl holding a plush toy and parasol.
Perona was watching them with great interest.
That devilish smile on her lips looked more scorching than the flames of Hell itself in their eyes.
“Horohorohorohoro… So you really were scared to death by a tractor. What an unheard-of way to die.”
She lightly pointed the tip of her parasol toward Kazuma, her tone innocent yet cruel.
The color drained from Kazuma’s face.
“And you…”
The tip of the parasol shifted toward Gintoki.
“Your tastes really are… unique. Over sixty… Horohorohoro. You’ve certainly broadened my horizons.”
Gintoki’s body visibly turned to stone.
The legend of the Shiroyasha had just been shattered more thoroughly than broken glass.
It’s over.
Everything is over.
Warning bells went off simultaneously inside both men’s heads.
This was no longer about combat power or Factions.
This concerned the fundamental dignity of a man—
No.
The fundamental dignity of a sentient being in the universe!
THUMP!
The crisp sound of a knee hitting the floor rang out.
Satou Kazuma, the adventurer from another world, made the most practiced and decisive tactical decision of his life in the 0.01 seconds before his dignity was completely destroyed—
He dropped into a sliding dogeza.
With a textbook-perfect dogeza posture, he planted his entire body against the floor, his forehead pressed firmly against the cold stone.
The force of his voice and the humility of his posture were enough to make even a feudal-era retainer feel ashamed of himself.
“Lady Perona!”
He went straight for the honorific.
“No! Princess Perona!”
“No! Her Majesty Queen Perona!”
“Please! Please have mercy!”
“Treat everything I said just now as the dying ramblings of a miserable, ignorant, lowly maggot!”
“I, Satou Kazuma, hereby swear that from today onward, I will be your most loyal servant!”
“If you tell me to go east, I’ll never go west!”
“If you tell me to chase a dog, I won’t chase a chicken!”
“As long as you keep this secret, my worthless life belongs to you!”
Gintoki stared at the man beside him in utter disbelief.
One second ago, this man had been arguing with him.
The next, he had dropped into a dogeza so smoothly that it looked like a practiced martial art.
What incredible reaction speed!
What terrifying survival instinct!
He actually…
He’s beating me in the competition to see who can abandon their dignity fastest!
You’ve got to be kidding me!
How can yours truly lose at something like this?!
THUMP—!
An even louder impact rang through the church.
Gintoki lunged forward like a starving tiger and dropped to his knees.
Taking advantage of his height, he slid farther forward than Kazuma, coming so close that he nearly kissed the tips of Perona’s high heels.
“Your Majesty!”
His voice was choked with tears and somehow sounded a hundred times more miserable than Kazuma’s.
“Please don’t listen to that virgin’s nonsense!”
“He’s obviously a rookie when it comes to sliding dogeza! His form isn’t even correct!”
“Look at me! Look at me!”
“I am a mature man with extensive social experience! Behold my flawless, heartfelt, and utterly sincere sliding dogeza!”
As he spoke, he vigorously wiped the small patch of floor in front of Perona’s shoes with his sleeve, as though it were some sacred altar.
“Everything I said earlier was a dream!”
“Yes! A dream!”
“I dreamed I turned into strawberry milk and then got drunk by an old lady named Otose!”
“That’s all it was! Absolutely nothing like what you’re thinking!”
“I, Sakata Gintoki, am pure and chaste! My heart belongs only to Weekly Shonen Jump and strawberry milk!”
Kazuma panicked.
He shuffled forward on his knees and tried to squeeze Gintoki aside.
“Don’t believe him! Everything about this natural-perm bastard is a lie, from his hair to his toes!”
“I’m the one who genuinely wants to serve you! I can warm your bed!”
“No, wait! I can clean your room! Wash your clothes! Cook your meals!”
“I can even use Steal! I can steal anything! Whatever you want, I’ll steal it for you! My Luck is extremely high!”
“Bullshit!”
Gintoki immediately fired back.
“You pervert! I’ll bet you’ve used Steal to steal girls’ panties before!”
“Your Majesty! Don’t listen to him! Look at me! Look at me!”
“I’m the boss of the Yorozuya! I can handle all kinds of jobs!”
“Plumbing repairs, finding lost items, life counseling, standing in line for people…”
“I can even fight!”
“I’m the most cost-effective servant you’ll find!”
“And if you hire me now, I’ll throw in the indestructible wooden sword Lake Toya for free!”
“That crappy wooden sword can’t even cut through my towel!”
“You still have the nerve to bring up your towel?!” The source of this chapter is g.com.
Perona: “…”
Holding Kumashi and her little red parasol, Perona looked down at the two men beneath her.
They were arguing red-faced over who would become her number-one servant, even going so far as to expose each other’s secrets.
For a moment, she didn’t know what to say.
Are these two guys… wired differently from normal people?
But this feeling…
The feeling of having two seemingly useless men desperately trying to please her and treating her like a queen…
It wasn’t actually that bad.
She had just arrived in this new world and needed helpers.
Perhaps…
“Horohorohorohoro…”
Perona laughed happily.
She gently raised Kazuma’s chin with the tip of her parasol, then tapped Gintoki’s forehead with it as though inspecting her spoils of war.
“You really are two lowly yet entertaining maggots.”
Her voice was filled with condescending generosity.
“Very well. This princess shall magnanimously accept your allegiance.”
“Thank goodness!”
“Thank you for your mercy, Your Majesty! Long live Princess Perona! Long live!!!”
The two shameless men shouted in unison, their faces filled with the ecstatic joy of people who had narrowly escaped death.
“However…”
Perona’s tone suddenly changed.
Her smile became dangerous.
“This princess will remember your dark histories very, very well.”
“If either of you dares disobey me, or tries to run away…”
She didn’t finish the sentence.
But her “Horohoro” laughter and the four Negative Hollows peeking out from behind her said everything that needed to be said.
Kazuma and Gintoki shuddered simultaneously and lowered their heads even further.
“Absolutely not! We wouldn’t dare!”
“Good.”
Perona nodded in satisfaction.
She put away her smile and looked around the shabby, gloomy church, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
“Now then, my two new servants…”
She spoke in a commanding tone.
“This princess is cold, hungry, and completely unfamiliar with this dreadful place.”
“Here’s your first mission.”
“Immediately find me a residence worthy of my status—something as magnificent as a castle.”
“And get me the finest desserts you can find, along with some hot cocoa.”
“Oh, right.”
Her gaze swept over Kazuma’s completely naked body before shifting to Gintoki’s relatively intact clothes.
“First, figure out a way to get him some decent clothes.”
“I refuse to walk around the streets with a naked pervert. It would be far too embarrassing for this princess.”
“As you command, Your Majesty!”
Kazuma and Gintoki shouted in unison once again.
Their voices were loud and full of energy.
Dignity?
Decency?
What were those?
Could you eat them?
As long as they could protect that secret more precious than their very lives, they didn’t care whether they had to become servants…
Or even pet dogs!