Su He looked curiously toward the door.
“What is the doctor here for?”
“You had a nosebleed yesterday, miss. The master asked the doctor to come and examine you,” Qiu Yun said gently.
Pei Yan actually called a doctor for her? Ever since her mother died, even when her arm was broken, no doctor had ever looked at her. She had relied entirely on Granny Liu to gather some herbs, apply the medicine, and then depend on sheer willpower to endure.
The doctor appeared to be in his fifties or sixties, with graying hair and a kindly expression. He took Su He’s pulse, raised his eyelids slightly, and stared intently at her face for a long moment before asking, “Do you often have nosebleeds?”
“It’s an old problem. My nose was broken before, so I occasionally bleed a little. But it hasn’t happened for quite some time now,” Su He nodded and replied.
“Have you taken any medicinal soups recently?” the doctor asked again.
Since arriving here, Su He had drunk two bowls of contraceptive soup.
“It’s not just about the contraceptive soup,” the doctor shook his head, his tone grave. “Your body, miss, has great difficulty conceiving. Moreover, this condition of yours isn’t caused by just one or two bowls of contraceptive soup. It seems you’ve been taking cold-natured medicine for years.”
The smile on Su He’s lips faded slightly. She lived like a weed, and until she had the means, she absolutely would not have children, subjecting them to the suffering she had endured. But that didn’t mean she didn’t want children. She was too lonely, with shallow familial ties, so she had fantasized about becoming successful and having a few beautiful, capable children who would love and respect her. A big, lively family would mean she wouldn’t feel like a lonely ghost in this world anymore.
But why would the doctor say she had difficulty conceiving?
The doctor opened his inkstone, wrote out a prescription for recuperation, and said softly, “The nosebleed isn’t due to the old injury either. It’s because the medicine you took most recently was too fierce and potent, causing a deficiency in both qi and blood. Take this prescription for a while first, and we’ll make long-term plans later.”
“What kind of medicine was it, exactly?” Qiu Yun couldn’t help but ask.
Su He lowered her eyes and remained silent for a long while before suddenly smiling. “I understand now. Thank you, doctor.”
Qiu Yun escorted the doctor out. When she returned, she saw Su He with red-rimmed eyes, holding a cup of hot tea and drinking it sip by sip.
Back in the Su residence, she had to gauge others’ moods just to drink a cup of hot tea. The Mid-Autumn Festival and New Year were her happiest times because the legal wife would reward everyone with a bowl of sweet soup, and she would get a share too. Every time she received the sweet soup, she was especially happy, taking small sips and treating it as the most delicious thing in the world.
Now, thinking back, it was those two bowls of sweet soup every year that shattered her dream of becoming a mother.
How could Madam Su be so cruel? Neither she nor her mother had come to the Su family willingly! Why did they have to trample on her like this?
“Miss, I’ll go brew the medicine. There’s no hurry. Doctor Liu is the most skilled imperial physician in the palace,” Qiu Yun said, looking at her red eyes and feeling nothing but pity. She comforted her gently for a while before going out to fetch the medicine.
The tears Su He had been holding back finally fell with a plop.
She quickly raised her sleeve, wiped her eyes twice, grabbed the teapot, poured a full cup of tea, and drank it in one go.
The tea was fragrant, with a slight bitterness that spread wantonly on the tip of her tongue, then seeped into her throat, staining her stomach with bitterness as well.
When would she finally be able to escape such bitter days?
Drink real sweet soup, live a life free from having to watch others’ faces.
She hated the Su family to death, she really wanted to set fire to the Su household!
Hurry up and learn skills, hurry up and learn!
Learn to write, learn bookkeeping, learn to brew tea, learn to cook, learn embroidery… she had to learn so many things! One month wasn’t enough! How could she learn more things?
“Miss,” Qiu Yun returned, carrying a packet of medicine in one hand and holding two pieces of candy in the other. Seeing her red eyes and the constant wiping of tears, Qiu Yun’s heart ached too.
“Don’t cry, Miss, it’ll be alright. The master favors you, even if there’s no child…” Qiu Yun suddenly couldn’t continue. Women trapped in the inner chambers could initially rely on beauty to secure favor, but in the end, they still had to depend on children. Concubines without children were all pitiful souls.
“Is that candy? I smell osmanthus fragrance.” Su He wiped her small hands over her face a couple of times, lowering her gaze to look at Qiu Yun’s hand.
“Oh, yes, it’s osmanthus candy.” Qiu Yun quickly handed the candy to Su He, whispering, “Miss, eat this first, I’ll go brew the medicine.”
“Don’t brew it in the courtyard. The air here is filled with bamboo fragrance; don’t let the master find it displeasing.” Su He sniffled, speaking softly, “Find a more distant corner. Once it’s brewed, I’ll go over and drink it.”
“Alright.” Qiu Yun thought for a moment. Pei Yan originally didn’t allow women to enter freely here; Su He was the first one who could actually live here. Thanks to Su He, she had been chosen to serve here. As for brewing medicine here, she truly didn’t have the courage.
“Once it’s brewed, send a maid to call me. Don’t leave the medicine pot unattended—what if someone tries to poison me?” Su He added.
Qiu Yun was taken aback for a moment, then chuckled, “At the master’s place, no one would dare.”
“Who knows,” Su He muttered gloomily.
Su He washed her face, soaked a handkerchief in well water, and applied it to her eyes. Once the redness and swelling had subsided, she took the brush and ink and sat in the courtyard to practice writing.
Although Pei Yan hadn’t given her pork knuckle or crab today, he had left brush, ink, and a copy of the Book of Songs on the table in the courtyard. Back in the Su residence, she had secretly listened to the tutor teaching the Su family’s descendants, and they had once recited from the Book of Songs. At the time, she didn’t understand it and had mustered the courage to ask the tutor a few times, but he looked down on her for being a girl and ignored her. Who would have thought that now she, too, could read the Book of Songs!
She buried herself in copying for a full hour before Qiu Yun returned.
“Oh, why are you here? Did you not bring the medicine?” Su He was startled and quickly stood up.
“The Guard is carrying it; they’re all people arranged by the master.” Qiu Yun helped her up and led her outside.
This was the first time Su He had stepped out of the door since arriving a few days ago.
The last time she came, she had been carried directly into the small courtyard. At the time, she was too panicked to notice the surroundings. Now, stepping out, she finally understood what a truly wealthy and luxurious place looked like. Before her eyes, a lush green garden stretched as far as she could see, with palaces and pavilions layered one upon another. The roof tiles were all made of green glazed tiles, shimmering brilliantly under the sunlight. She used to think the Su residence was large enough, but now it seemed it couldn’t even compare to a corner of the Pei estate.
“Drink slowly. I brought some more candy.” Qiu Yun had her sit in the pavilion to drink the medicine, gently waving a small fan in front of her to drive away the heat.
Su He couldn’t help but feel a bit dazed—Qiu Yun was actually fanning her! How could Qiu Yun be so kind?
“Candy.” Qiu Yun used a handkerchief to wipe the medicine stains from her lips, then opened an oil-paper packet and picked out a piece of osmanthus candy for her.
Su He ate the candy, stood up, walked to the steps, and looked curiously at the scenery in the garden.
“You can’t go into the garden yet, miss,” Qiu Yun said sympathetically, seeing her eager expression.
Su He nodded, “I know, I won’t run around. I’ll just stand here and look.”
“The master has returned,” the Anwei’s voice came from the corner.