“Shut up!” Arxet cried using Tifse’s voice. She didn’t mean to, the fox’s voice was pretty annoying. But the separation between herself and her rider still felt indistinct and fuzzy. She had no idea from the way that everyone had described the bonding that it would be so intense. Sometimes she still couldn’t tell which thoughts were hers and which were Tifse’s.
“Hey! Just think it!” The fox growled back. “I thought we were trying to make a system!”
“You threw me through a door on accident and you’re going to act like me talking with your mouth once is a crime. Just be quiet!” Arxet snapped back.
Idami wrenched Arxet’s head back down to be level with her. “Could you two stop bickering for ten seconds? Your cold mark is twice as big now, don’t you find that concerning?”
“It’s hard to concentrate on that problem when this one keeps getting distracted.” Arxet shoved the fox on her back with a wing. “Let me tell you, she’s got-”
“Don’t you dare! That’s private! Not even you were supposed to see that!” Tifse slapped the back of Arxet’s head. Arxet winced, not from the pain in her head, but the pain in Tifse’s hand. She’d caught a scale at an odd angle and sliced her palm open.
“Oh nice going, fluff for brains. Now I’ve got blood all over me!” She swung her head around and bared her teeth. “Stop being a dumbass for two fucking minutes so that Idami and I can talk! I swear to Tiamat-”
“Swearing to me while I’m in the room seems unnecessary. Arxet, how long as your coldmark been getting bigger?” Tiamat reached up to check on Tifse’s hand.
“I don’t- how am I supposed to know? I don’t pay nearly as much attention as everyone else seems to.” This was ridiculous. It was impossible for a coldmark to grow. That’s not how anything worked.
“Not enough attention, clearly. Even I saw it this morning.” Tifse dug a claw into the cut, causing another wince from the dragon.
“You’re doing that on purpose! What the hell is wrong with you?” Arxet was preparing to bite her tongue in retaliation before Idami grabbed her attention again.
“I noticed it seemed a bit bigger two days ago,” Idami answered Tiamat’s question, “after the meet and greet.” She splayed her palm over the white patch to gauge its size. “I counted the scales, it was ten from the front to the back, now it’s twenty. It’s gotten thicker too. Look, it’s touching her eye now.”
“I can’t even see it. Can you-” Tifse forced her own senses into Arxet’s mind for a moment, completely overwriting the dragon’s. The white patch of dull scales above her left eye had indeed grown to nearly triple its original size from when she’d become a dragon. “I mean, it doesn’t look that bad, does it?”
“Arxet, I’m worried about this.” Tiamat crossed her arms and made a disapproving face. “You need to take this seriously.”
“Well what the hell does taking it seriously even look like to you? You don’t know what’s going on. You don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to know?” She tore the foreign senses from her mind and reasserted her own. “I’m going home. Let me know when you have some useful advice for me or something.”
“What if my cold mark does the same thing, Arxet?” Idami followed along with her niece as she and her rider start to make their way through the halls of the academy. “We don’t know-”
“Exactly. We don’t know. It’s never even done anything to hurt me before. It’s bigger now, so what?” She huffed. “It’s just a patch of white.” The worst damage the stupid thing ever did was getting her kicked out of her home. It’s not like-
Her thoughts were interrupted as a spike of sorrow and pain shot through her psyche. Visions of her parents- no, not hers. These were foxes. Why did she want to think of them as her parents? They were so disapproving, they criticized everything she did. Suddenly nothing was good enough, even though she was the perfect child before. The cold mark had changed her so deeply that even she couldn’t see what she was doing wrong anymore. She had no choice but to leave.
“HEY!” She tried to shout mentally at the source of the invading images. “Keep that shit to yourself, would you? I’ve got more than enough-” The thought died as she tried to get Tifse’s attention. Waves of guilt and sorrow slammed her through the link. She had to take drastic action. She hooked her right wing’s claw on the collar of Tifse’s armor and flung her off onto the stone floor. She felt the force of the impact and the pain shooting through the fox’s elbow as she landed, but the invading thoughts stopped.
“FUCK- OW-” Tifse rolled back and forth on the floor, gripping her elbow. “What the fuck? What’s wrong with you?”
“You’re what’s wrong with me! What the hell was that?” She growled and picked the fox back up by her armor to put back into the saddle.
Tifse beat on her nose of the dragon so rudely picking her up without permission. “Yeah but you don’t have to just THROW ME! Tiamat forbid I think about stuff!”
“Not when you’re having meltdowns in my head. Keep it to yourself.” Arxet snorted at the tiny fists slapping against her face. They didn’t hurt at least. “You’re gonna cut your hand again, quit it. That hurt me too.” She shook the fox hard to disorient her, forced her limbs into the proper positions to sit in the saddle using the bond, and then dropped her into place. “Stay still and behave.”
“That did seem…” Idami started but trailed off at the display of petty bickering. “You know what, not my business. I’ll see you two later.” She slipped away with an awkward wave.
Arxet and Tifse barely even noticed her leaving as they glared at each other. “Let’s just move on. I don’t want to talk about this any more.” Tifse hissed out. Any attempt to talk this out seemed like a waste of energy.
“Fine by me.” Arxet snorted and whipped her head back forward.
Tifse couldn’t help but ruminate again on the fox in the courtyard, Audirei. She couldn’t believe that she’d even apologized. Tifse wasn’t sure for what even. Audirei hadn’t done anything to her. She’d been one of her friends at the academy who didn’t have a bone to pick with Arxet. The most the red fox had ever done was kick the former rat’s ass on the mat. Had she ever even joined in on their conversations complaining about her?
“Heartwarming to know I took up so much space in your puny head.” Arxet mocked. “She never told you to stop, just stood by. That’s enough for me not to like her.”
“You’re absolutely ridiculous! Why shouldn’t she be a part of the ministry! She didn’t do anything!” She growled in the dragon’s ear.
“The failure to do anything is exactly the problem.” Tiamat informed her. “A ministry official needs to be proactive in stomping out that type of behavior. If you can’t do that then you have no business in my ministry, and I will not hear any more on the subject. Are we understood?”
“Yes ma’am.” Tifse squeaked out and turned her eyes downward. Images flashed through Arxet’s mind again of numerous scoldings from the fox’s parents, feelings of inadequacy, fear of corporal punishment. She had to force the feelings back like a tide washing over her being.
“Tifse, if you don’t quit it again I swear I’ll-”
“I’ll stop, I’ll stop.” The rider wiped her eyes with her sleeve and buried her face. She tried to think of anything else, absolutely anything. Warm days by the river, playing dangerous games as a child with the crocodiles, eating fresh caught fish over an open fire with her siblings. Even Arxet had to admit she felt a little jealous of the happy memories.
Arxet finally made it out to the front gate again where her not-family was waiting. Amjazel was playfully nipping at Emren and chasing her around with her long neck in the confined space, and Rubis was watching the door, waiting patiently for her to come out. Arxet’s blood boiled at the sight of the red dragon. She had been holding out hope that Rubis just wouldn’t come at all. She didn’t even look guilty or mad or anything, just excited.
“Ah! There you are!” Amjazel shot up and ran to her daughter. “Are you alright? Aurjeule said you-”
“I’m fine. Just. Got a bit hurt. Tiamat healed me. Let’s just go home.” Arxet turned her back to Rubis to talk with Amjazel. Best not even look at the traitor.
“Well, what about your bonding?” Rubis inquired. She seemed excited to watch. “Grandma said she needed to talk to you about something before the ritual, we’ve just been waiting here.”
Arxet just ignored her and made for the gate. “You said you had some training in mind for today after the ritual was done?” She directed the thought to Amjazel alone. Rubis didn’t need to be a part of the conversation.
Amjazel seemed surprised and confused by Arxet’s behavior toward her sister. The two seemed so close before. “Combat and coordination training, but-”
“Fine, let’s go.” Arxet took off without any further acknowledgment. She wasn’t able to quite make the full flight back to the house again, but was able to skip off between a few different roofs of other dragon families to get back in a timely manner. Tifse was being forced to flap her arms as well the entire ride back as Arxet struggled to keep her mind contained in her own body, but it didn’t get in the way at least.
Amjazel arrived with Emren a moment later to land besides the fresh dragon and rider. Rubis seemed to not have followed. “Arxet,” The ancient dragon started, “Did something happen between you and-”
“Not your business. Let’s just train.” Arxet began on the stretches Amjazel had taught her for before a workout.
“It is our business, I think.” Emren came around to get her daughter’s attention. “It seems like something happened between you two yesterday, and we just want to keep the peace in this family.”
“Not a part of your family, just a visitor who you turned into a dragon.” Arxet corrected. “I’ll be out of your fur as soon as I’m able.”
“Damn, even I think that’s harsh.” Tifse taunted from the dragon’s back. “You sure I have more issues than you?”
“Shut it, pipsqueak. Amjazel, where are we starting?” She turned her attention back to her trainer.
Amjazel seemed anguished at Arxet’s words to her and unsure of whether to push further. Only a few days ago Arxet had invited everyone out to dinner and truly seemed a part of the family. “You two need to… work on moving as a single unit. In a fight you- Arxet, are you-”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” She snapped. “Ask her if you care so much! But I’m done! I really tried your whole family bullshit but I learned my lesson. If I have to leave now then just tell me. Otherwise I want to get through training in peace.”
“We would never force you to leave, regardless of any of that.” Emren patted Arxet’s shoulder. “I’m going to go talk to Rubis. Are you going to be okay here, Am?”
“If it was me in charge you’d be long gone already.” Tifse mused from the dragon’s back. It clearly wasn’t even directed at Arxet, they just couldn't hide anything from each other anymore. “I know you feel the same too.”
“So I’m a huge bitch too. Is that supposed to be some kind of revelation?” This was getting tiring already. She should have just focused on shapeshifting instead and skipped out on having a rider.
Amjazel shifted down to her tigress form and pulled a few practice weapons from the supply closet. She tossed one to Tifse and held onto a wooden halberd for herself. “For now, let’s have you two fighting on your own feet, separate. We’ll work our way up to mounted combat. We’ll just pretend I’m a normal mortal with a pointy stick coming after you.”
“You’re going to take us both on at once?” Arxet smirked to herself. Amjazel had none of her usual advantages like this. “Doesn’t that seem a bit unfair?”
“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll heal whatever bruises she leaves on you two.” Emren blew a kiss as she slipped out the gate. “I’ll be back later, Am.”
“I’ll go easy on them, Emmie. I’ll see you tonight.” Amjazel began on her own stretches. “So, the big thing you two need to work on if you’re gonna get a hit on me is coordination. You’ll never get near me by yourself, you have to work together to corner me. If you’re really good like Emmie and I are then you can move more like one unit in two bodies than separate people.”
“What’s wrong with fighting by myself?” Arxet was annoyed at the implication she couldn’t do anything without Tifse. That fox was just there to be a pair of hands for her. Maybe be a distraction if she really needed it.
“Nothing, dear, but you’ll always be much better working as a unit.” Amjazel took a stance and waited patiently for her opponents to be ready. “Anyone that claims they work better alone is just stubborn and bad at teamwork. Ready?”
Tifse jumped down from Arxet’s back and prepared her wooden sword. “I’ve done plenty of weapons training in my time. Arxet, let me take the lead on this one?”
“As if. Just keep her busy so that I can get a hit in on her.” The dragon began to circle. All she needed was one good moment to bridge the gap and she’d show she wasn’t as helpless as Amjazel seemed to think she was.
“That’s what I was going to suggest, ice for brains.” Tifse tried to circle Amjazel at an equal pace to keep opposite of Arxet, but couldn’t quite keep up. Their circle was uneven.
Amjazel capitalized quickly and made a lunge for Arxet. Arxet attempted to jump back, but was so focused on her frustration with Tifse that she forced the wrong body to dodge. Tifse threw herself into the bushes around the edge of the courtyard while Arxet got a wooden halberd brought down on her skull. The blow wasn’t enough to cause any damage, but the embarrassment was more than enough.
“You see? Coordination is more complex when you’re two people sharing two bodies.” Amjazel withdrew the halberd with a flourish. “You have to focus on your partner, but you still need to make sure you’re-”
Arxet lunged, jaws agape, while the elder dragon was lecturing. Amjazel seemed focused entirely on Tifse getting back on her feet, and no rules had been established about rounds or off time.
Amjazel deftly stepped back and planted the haft of her weapon into the ground where it rested on the gap between two of the large stone blocks that made up the courtyard. The other end of the halberd caught the top of Arxet’s mouth. She scrambled to save her momentum but was stopped in her tracks. Her body beneath her head kept going, and she found herself collapsed onto her side at Amjazel’s feet. “Nice try, you are doing well at trying to get me while I’m distracted. Let’s try resetting.”
Each of their spars went the same way from there. Arxet and Tifse refused to let the other take charge, found themselves out of sync, and taken down one by one by their trainer. Amjazel could easily use Arxet’s weight against her to trip her up, disarm Tifse, and keep light enough on her feet to never be cornered or caught off guard.
“Alright, you two, clearly there’s some underlying issue here.” Amjazel helped Tifse out of the pool for the second time that sparring session. “Who’s in charge out of the two of you right now?”
“I am!” Both respond in tandem. “What? No- you are not! Shut up! Stop-” The two continue yelling at each other in perfect sync.
“Okay so that’s your problem.” Amjazel sighed and sat down on the window into the kitchen.
“You see, I should be in charge! I’ve got more weapons experience!” Tifse jabbed a soggy finger into her dragon’s chest.
“No, that’s not what I said.” Amjazel corrected with impossible patience.
“Yeah, see!” Arxet puffed herself up. “I’m the dragon I make the-”
“Wrong!” Amjazel talked over her. “Neither of you should be ‘in charge’ in most scenarios. Sure, I let Emren take the lead on anything that might involve cooking, haggling, maybe illicit activities if the ministry sends us on that type of mission, and she lets me do the talking when it comes to anything to do with history, politics, or warfare. But when it comes to an actual fight, when we’re in the thick of it, we make snap decisions together. She trusts me entirely to make the right decision, and I trust her to make the right one as well. Because, let me tell you, there is nothing more-” she catches herself, “-there are few things more traumatizing than losing someone you’ve been bonded with. Aside from that, we just respect and trust each other implicitly.”
“Aw, how sweet, she can tell you’re even more traumatized than she is after losing a rider before!” Tifse grinned up at the dragon.
“Shut it. Why the hell does she defer to you on politics and warfare?” Somehow that caught Arxet’s attention. Amjazel was the only member of the household who was still an enigma on some level.
Amjazel seemed to regret letting that slip now judging by the way her posture shifted at the question, but at least didn’t avoid the question. “When I was your age I was a soldier, a mercenary really. I grew up around them. I fought as a mortal until I was forty, and as a dragon until I was over a hundred. I’ve worked under or as part of every link in the chain of command at some point in my life.”
“That’s vague. Not going to give me a whole story like Rubis and Emren did?” Arxet hoped to pry out additional details.
“No. War took my first family. I was made into a child soldier until I proved myself and got full rights among the company. I fought with them until I realized what I was doing was wrong, and then dedicated the early years of my life to undoing the damage I’d caused.” She stated each part of it matter-of-factly. Her usual warmth was absent. Shame and sorrow painted each word. “I was imfamous enough as a mortal that my old name can still be found in some older history texts. I’m not proud of that part of my life. Can we move on?”
“You’re just going to leave it at that? You’re some sort of secret badass and I don’t get to know more?”
“No, you don’t.” Amjazel sighed. “I don’t like any of my children to know about that side of me. I’m not that person anymore. I just happen to still have her knowledge and skills. Please, dear. Let’s move on. That has nothing to do with the point I was trying to make.”
“Isn’t it a little insulting to her that you defer to her on small stuff like food and haggling, but she defers to you on big stuff like war and politics?” Tifse pointed out. “I mean, that doesn’t seem equal.”
“You’re probably right.” Amjazel shrugged. “I mean, haggling and cooking delicious food is something she does every day, while I only have to get involved in war and politics every decade or so. She’s definitely got the important stuff.” She ended off with a wink. “If you’re trying to assign weight to different contributions in a relationship you’re doing it wrong. Nothing will ever be truly equal. What matters is you both try to contribute in whatever way you can, and both respect the other’s contribution as worthwhile.”
“Sure, but she doesn’t have anything but hands that I care about.” Arxet chuckled.
“Then it’s your job to start caring. I know you picked her out of spite, but you still have to learn to work with her.” The older dragon sighed. This child was much more stubborn than she first realized when choosing her. She didn’t regret the decision, she was just beginning to wonder where she could have helped her make better choices along the way. “I honestly thought you were going to torment her for a few days and then cut her loose. But now you two are tormenting each other, and all I can do is help you work out your differences. A bond takes a few years of distance to break. There’s no easy out.”
“YEARS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YEARS!” Tifse’s heart began to race. Her breath became rapid and uneven. “I-I can’t- not with-”
Arxet shifted with unease as the foreign sensations of panic flooded her.“Oh please, am I that ba-”
“YES! Tiamat’s tail yes!” She cut the dragon off. “You are the most miserable excuse for a dragon I could have ever imagined bonding with! I- oh god- I should have-” She stumbles and falls to her knees. “Why didn’t I walk away? I should have walked away! You issued a challenge and I couldn’t resist! What is wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!”
Arxet was at a loss for words. Her own heart was beginning to pound in her chest loud enough to hear. “You’re right. I guess I really shit the bed on this one.” An uneven and strained chuckle escaped her mouth as her breathing became similarly ragged. A laugh soon followed as she slowly fell down onto her haunches and fell to her side. “Oh Arxet, you’ve just fucked everything up as usual, huh?” She cackled. Why was this so funny? She was stuck with Tifse and Tifse was stuck with her. They’d both be miserable together and would have nothing they could do about it. “Some revenge this is, eh? Talk about a double edged sword.” She was laughing uncontrollably, tears were streaming down her face as her own sense of dramatic irony and Tifse’s grief mixed together into a sweet and sour emotional concoction.
Amjazel shifted back to her dragon form to pull Arxet close under a wing. She seemed alarmed by the display, and was trying to get through to Arxet, but the former rat was too drunk on the noxious amalgam of emotion coursing through her. Amusement, disgust, shame, terror, and a small hint of excitement blended together until she wasn’t even sure what was coming from where anymore.
In the distance she could hear Tifse snickering along as well. “What’s- what’s wrong with you? It’s not- it’s not funny!” The fox was gripping her stomach as the guffaws ripped through her tiny form.
“I know! It’s so not funny that I can’t help but laugh!” Arxet pulled the fox closer and tucked her close to her stomach. “We deserve each other!”