I finally learned to use magic, and at forty years old, I was only two months away from joining the Defense Bureau. I had to avoid the fate of blowing myself up and dying.
"Kitaoji-san! Let's start training again soon. I worked so hard to use magic, and I don't want to die!" I said.
"I understand," he said in a calm voice. "It is enough if you keep in mind that such a thing is possible."
"Of course," I said.
I felt lucky to meet Kitaoji-san here. I did not want to be the second Great Magician in history who blew up on the first day of placement.
Since I chose the Defense Bureau, I knew there was some danger. I even thought I might die fighting a monster. But I never imagined I might blow myself up. I was not ready for that.
From that moment, my focus grew stronger than ever, and I quickly reached the next step: how to control the flow of spell power. If I lowered the flow during a spell, the power would also drop. For now, I trained without words and only focused on the flow.
In the field, I would need to say the spell and think about the flow at the same time. That sounded much harder. Still, with Kitaoji-san's good teaching, it slowly took shape.
"You are really amazing, Hanaoka-san," he said. "I did not think you could do this much in two days. At this level, I think you can try magic soon."
"Really!?" I shouted.
His words made my heart jump. I could use magic at last. My dream of becoming a magic user felt so close that I could not sit still.
After that, almost every day after class, except on rest days, I trained with him. My classmates invited me to meals a few times, but I turned them down with a heavy heart to keep training. Young women might never invite me again in my life. I never thought I would feel such pain at forty.
But because I gave it my all, two months after starting with Kitaoji-san, I finally got permission to use magic. When I let the spell power flow, I learned something. It was very easy to make a strong flow. But making it weak was much harder than I thought, and I struggled.
To be honest, when he said "a little more," I thought I could do it in a few days. But it took almost two months before he said it was good.
It felt so long. I only had ten days left before graduation. It was close, but I made it in time.
"All right, I will begin. Sorry if the target burns," I said.
"You worked hard, so you will be fine, Hanaoka-san," he said.
I had no choice but to trust him. I had worked hard for two months. I decided to use magic. I would be bold in heart, but I would also control the spell power flow with care.
Notes:
• Kitaoji - Older, small man. First introduced as school’s odd‑jobs/handyman. Kind, surprised by Hanaoka’s power. But later, he is the school principal; acts as Hanaoka’s magic instructor, guides him to sense his own mana.