I was back home, drinking my second can of chu-hai, reflecting on the day's events. A long sigh slipped out as I stared at the ceiling.
"How should I handle this now," I said to myself.
Since I came back, I couldn't stop sighing or talking to myself. People might say that's what happens when a man turns 40, and maybe they're right. But the real reason for my introspection was what happened at the Defense Bureau today.
"Hanaoka-san, now that we have seen a magic reading, you have two choices," the staff member said.
"Two?" I asked.
"Yes. First, you can give up using magic and keep your life as it is. Many people, like you, show magic after they already have some work and life experience. In that case, you can choose not to join the Defense Bureau. Many people want to keep their life as it is rather than push themselves to join us."
"That makes sense," I said.
"The second choice is to use magic and join the Defense Bureau to fight outside enemies. It is a dangerous job, but you will gain good pay and social status. Before you join, you will need to attend a training school for about three months."
"Three months... That feels short for such a dangerous job," I said.
"Yes. Real battle training happens after you join. And it's not like you must learn English from the start. The school is for rules and learning how to use magic."
"You can learn magic in just three months?" I asked.
"If you already have magic power, you only need to learn the steps. You will use magic that fits you quite fast. Of course, some people have strong or weak points, and magic power and speed are different for each person."
"I see," I said.
To be honest, joining the Defense Bureau and becoming a hero like my ancestor had been my dream since childhood. Still, I understood what the staff meant. People who awaken to magic at my age often stay with their life as it is.
I understood it too well.
I had worked at the same company for eighteen years after university, and I felt a sense of stability and pride in my career. I also felt the weight of being a team leader. Most of all, my company was not a black company, so I didn't think I would die from work. With more effort, I could aim for a promotion to section manager.
To throw all that away and enter a training school made me hesitate.
"There is one more thing. Most students at the training school are around eighteen to twenty-five. People your age are rare, Hanaoka-san. You may even be the only one."
"I see," I said.
Of course a 40-year-old would be rare there. Could I study with people young enough to be my children? I feared I would stand out in a bad way.
"But still... it's the Defense Bureau. I always wanted to join. I wanted to use magic, protect people, and be a hero, like my ancestor," I said to myself.
Since I was young, I admired my ancestor. It is true that I felt close to him because he had an old face and did not get much attention from others. But more than that, he used magic, joined the Defense Bureau, and protected humankind. I strongly looked up to him.
As his descendant, I thought I could be the same. I hoped that if I inherited his "old face that does not get attention" curse, maybe I also had the magic talent. I dreamed about that many times.
And now, the chance was right in front of me.
I was no longer in my twenties, and life was more complex, with responsibilities and commitments. Yet, the desire to pursue my dream remained strong.
People might think it foolish at my age, but I still aspired to become a hero.
I was scared, but I could not stop the feeling. I wanted to be like the heroes in the videos. I wanted to become a hero, even if it meant starting as a background character.
"Alright! I will go give them my answer tomorrow," I said.
After thinking and thinking, I finally reached my decision. I picked up my third can of chu-hai.