Walking through the fruit market, Fan Wenya felt unhappy. Everything was messy: the crowds of people, the badly parked trucks and e-bikes, the fruit stalls blocking the road, and the puddles on the broken ground. She lifted her white silk skirt and carefully walked around the puddles so she wouldn’t get her sandals or dress dirty.
It had just rained while the sun was out. Half the sky was covered in dark clouds, while the other half was bright and hot. The weather felt like a steamer—very uncomfortable. Holding a wet umbrella, Fan Wenya walked carefully to the dessert shop to meet her best friend.
She had parked her car far away because her friend told her that parking near the shop was difficult. She didn’t expect that a few minutes of walking would take her through such a messy place in the rain. When she finally entered the shop, the cool air made her sweaty back feel cold. It felt sticky, but at least it was better than being outside.
“Wenya!” Her friend, Li Shujun, waved from a window seat. Li Shujun wore a colorful silk dress that hid her small belly and showed off her figure.
“So pretty! Is it new?” Fan Wenya praised the dress immediately.
“Nice, right?” Li Shujun stood up and spun around to show off the expensive, flowy dress.
“Very pretty.”
Li Shujun didn’t act interested in Wenya’s dress. She usually disliked plain colors and often criticized Wenya for dressing too simply. She was holding back that day by not saying anything.
Li Shujun asked to meet here because her three-year-old daughter was in a dance class nearby. She was bored waiting, so she called Wenya to come out for dessert. They had known each other since they were kids. Li Shujun was very casual and usually called people without planning ahead. It happened that Wenya’s life had just changed a lot. She was staying at her parents’ house and felt bored and sad, so she wanted someone to talk to.
“You said last time the paperwork was done. Did you move?” Li Shujun asked.
“I moved. The house is sold.” Fan Wenya ordered a mango dessert. Even though Shujun said she would pay, Wenya paid for herself and her friend.
“Where are you living now?”
“I stay in a rented room near the hospital during the week. On weekends, I go back to my parents’ place. I came from my mom’s house today.”
Fan Wenya was a doctor. Her parents had good connections. Five years ago, they helped move her from the gynecology department to a new fertility center. Since then, she didn’t have to work nights or shifts. She only worked during the day on weekdays and had weekends off. For a doctor, it was a very easy job.
“How was the house sale?”
“It was okay. The money went to pay off the bank loan,” Wenya said with a sad smile.
“Did the price drop a lot?”
“When we bought it, the down payment was 1 million, and the loan was 3 million. Total was 4 million. Now it sold for 2.7 million. After paying the bank, there was zero left.”
“I was right, wasn’t I? You should have divorced him sooner instead of waiting so long.” The waiter brought the desserts. Shujun pointed to her milk pudding.
“I guess…” Wenya looked unhappy. She didn’t feel the “freedom” she expected.
“Oh, come on. You didn’t even marry him because you liked him. Your parents picked him. Back then he had a good job and made money, so it was fine. But now he has been sitting at home for so long with lawsuits following him. He needs you to support him and pay the mortgage. You can’t take care of him forever. Why keep him around?”
“But he didn’t really do anything wrong… am I being too heartless?”
“Nothing wrong?” Li Shujun whispered. “Not touching you for almost a year isn’t wrong? If my husband didn’t touch me for a week, I’d leave him.”
“Maybe he is just under too much pressure…”
“Listen to me, don’t pity men. Pitying a man is the start of all bad luck.” Shujun broke her pudding into pieces. The way she ate always made Wenya uncomfortable because Wenya liked to keep her food neat and whole.
“Think about it. He stayed at home so long and didn’t even look for work. Does he have any drive? I’m telling you, a man with no income and no drive is a failure. Why get married if you have no drive? To weigh a woman down?” Shujun continued. “I was afraid you’d be soft-hearted. You are doing great now—no kids, a good job. You earn your own money and spend it. Isn’t that better than taking care of him?”
Li Shujun was right about Wenya’s worries. He was a blind date set up by her parents. She got married because she was at that age and couldn’t keep saying no to her parents. Life after marriage was plain but okay. Before he lost his job, he paid the house down payment. The money he made went to the mortgage and household costs, so she could spend her own money however she liked.
But for the last six months, he stayed home and didn’t go out. He had no income. After her salary paid the mortgage, there was nothing left for daily life. Her savings were almost gone. She was very short on money—even the dress she was wearing was bought last year. Since this summer started, she hadn’t bought a single new piece of clothing. In her thirty years of life, she had never struggled like this.
The money pressure was so bad she was getting grey hairs. Actually, after her husband had been home for three months, her parents couldn’t wait any longer. They went to the house to ask when he would go back to work and how long their daughter had to support the family alone.
But he didn’t just lose his job; he lost it because of a very serious accident. He probably couldn’t find a job in the medical field in this city anytime soon. Also, the patient’s family kept following them. Once, they blocked them at the gate of their neighborhood. The husband told her to run first, and he got beaten up. For the next few months, he stayed home to heal, but she had to go to work. Every day she left the house, she was afraid of being attacked. Because of all this, her parents told her she had to get a divorce.
They had been married for three years. Because Wenya was afraid of having kids, and they were both busy doctors who spent time away for training, they hadn’t lived together for more than two years. They rarely slept together. Because of the trouble in the last six months, they never had children. Her parents used to nag them to have kids, but now that they were divorcing, it was a good thing. Her parents were glad there were no children and told her to divorce quickly and find someone new while she was still young.
It wasn’t that she had no feelings for her husband. Before he lost his job, everyone thought he was a talented young man. He was good-looking and didn’t feel “creepy” like other men she had met on blind dates. To her parents’ relatives, he was a perfect son-in-law. She married him because he was the best choice available. But after he lost his job, his good points disappeared. He became a shameful topic. Anyone who saw the local news knew what happened to him. Relatives kept asking her parents what was going on and if he really killed someone. Her parents cared a lot about their reputation. Even if she liked him, her parents would make her divorce him. Besides, she felt their relationship wasn’t strong enough for her to support him for the rest of her life.
After losing his job, her husband, who was already quiet, spoke even less. They had no communication. When Wenya asked for a divorce, he wasn’t surprised. He just said: “I really shouldn’t weigh you down. I’ll sell the house to pay the debt.”
The wedding home was bought by the husband with the savings from several years of work before they married. After the wedding, he was also the only one paying the mortgage. Even though both their names were on the deed, after the housing market crashed, the house became a debt rather than an asset. This made Fan Wenya’s parents very unhappy; they even blamed their son-in-law for putting their daughter’s name on the house in the first place.
The money from selling the house was just enough to pay back the bank. The 1 million down payment he paid himself was completely gone. Next, he still faced a lawsuit—no job, no house, no savings, divorced, and tied up in legal trouble, with people still chasing him to kill him. Fan Wenya also felt he had become depressed; he could lock himself in a room for a long time without coming out or saying a word. Although she pitied him, his pride was too strong. He was unwilling to face the truth, move on to find a job, or talk to her. Under all this pressure, Fan Wenya’s heart had died. She didn’t want to ruin her future. Staying with him felt like suffocating in a swamp. She wanted to leave the swamp and live freely; she didn’t want to, and couldn’t afford to, carry so much weight. Since her parents and friends all supported the divorce, she could only let go of her lingering feelings and push down her slight guilt.
“Good thing! Good thing! Starting over is a good thing! You’ll be much better off without a man. Not like me, still having to serve that old man in my house.”
Fan Wenya thought: Li Shujun saying this is a bit like someone who doesn’t know how lucky they are. She felt that while Li Shujun said this on the surface, she might actually be showing off her life in secret. Li Shujun’s husband was a big local businessman who made a lot of money. They hired several domestic workers for cooking, cleaning, and childcare. Even their daughter had two nannies taking care of her; right now, one of the nannies was with her daughter at a private dance studio nearby. Li Shujun only came out because she was bored and had nothing to do. When Li Shujun said “serving,” she didn’t mean it literally; at most, it meant that having a family and a child made her feel a bit trapped, making it hard to run around and have fun whenever she wanted like before.
“Oh, speaking of men,” Li Shujun whispered again, “Let me tell you something funny.”
“What is it?”
“Do you remember that Yang Jianzhen?”
“I remember him.”
Yang Jianzhen was one of Li Shujun’s ex-boyfriends, and the most handsome of them all. When they were dating, Fan Wenya saw him many times. That man was truly more handsome than a male celebrity. He was also very good at talking, keeping the mood light, and was very thoughtful with high social intelligence. Many people used to pursue Li Shujun, and she had many boyfriends, but in the end, she was obsessed with this man who worked at a nightclub and was five or six years younger than her. They dated for several years, and she spent a lot of money on him. She even planned to marry him until her parents found out and forced them apart. At first, she didn’t want to give up, but then she found out that Yang Jianzhen himself told her parents he wasn’t good enough for her and then hid from her. In a fit of anger, she married her current wealthy husband who was over ten years older.
“That dead jerk actually had the nerve to call me yesterday to borrow money. He said he owed a lot of debt and asked if I could lend him some to help him out, saying if he couldn’t pay it back, he’d be beaten to death by loan sharks.” Li Shujun rolled her eyes.
“How much did he want to borrow?”
“Two million. Can you believe it? He’s crazy! Asking for two million in one go! He even said he could pay it back within a year.” Li Shujun’s voice sounded scornful. “Nothing that ‘gigolo’ says is true. I’d be a fool to believe him.”
“How can he be so… uh, thick-skinned?” Fan Wenya wasn’t good at insulting people, but she felt Li Shujun needed her help to scold someone she hated, so she forced herself to agree.
Li Shujun sneered, “He was always that shameless. I was just blinded back then to be so obsessed. Luckily I didn’t marry him, or my life would be over.”
“Does he still work at the KTV?”
“Who knows.”