After that, I found a small pleasure amid my grueling life in the Guard.
I worked hard every single day. And every day, I brought food to 1208 as well.
1208 still kept up his ridiculous stoic act and never once showed any gratitude, but now he readily ate whatever I gave him.
Along the way, I learned a few things about 1208.
His way of expressing himself followed three patterns.
Normally : He doesn't look at something for long.
Interested : He keeps looking at it.
Uninterested : He closes his eyes or looks away.
In other words, the more he likes something, the longer he stares at it!
So far, first place belonged to the chicken porridge he'd eaten on the first day. His gaze had lingered on it for about 10 seconds. Apparently, no delicacy in the world could beat hunger.
Then, a few days later, that record was broken.
By a ‘cigarette.’
It had started by chance. I wasn't a smoker, after all. I'd just happened to end up with an entire pack of cigarettes.
Our prison's ‘Thomson Ward’ consisted mostly of solitary cells, so there was almost no contact between prisoners. Still, I knew cigarettes were fairly valuable inside a prison.
Normally, I would've either thrown them away or left them sitting around.
But for some reason, that day I found myself wondering what would happen if I gave them to 1208.
“Smoke?”
The weekend.
The one exercise period we had each week.
In a secluded corner of the yard, I held out a cigarette to 1208.
I could tell from how long he stared at it.
1208 seemed extremely pleased with the cigarette.
He looked at it for a full 15 seconds.
Then he actually gave a faint chuckle.
Whoa.
Mr. Stoic over here knows how to smile?
“…….”
1208 smoked the cigarette with remarkable enjoyment.
I guess even cigarettes looked better depending on the face smoking them.
I hated the smoke, so I kept my distance.
Meanwhile, 1208's existence had become a remarkably strange experience for me.
I was a guard working at a prison, yet the person I was happiest to see was a prisoner.
Yeah.
That was definitely weird.
Unlike my seniors in the Guard, who only cursed at me and piled on more work no matter how much I already did, 1208 was different.
Whenever I brought him something nice, he at least gave me a faint ‘positive reaction.’
There was a pleasant sense of accomplishment in that.
1208 smoked two cigarettes in a row, and as I quietly watched him, pointless curiosity began bubbling up.
“…Does that taste good? Why does everyone smoke those things?”
I remembered how everyone except me at the factory had practically lived with one hanging from their lips.
‘Aren't I an adult now too?’
Samael. Age twenty.
Old enough to fall into depravity.
I carefully put one between my lips and tried to light it.
1208 reached out and snatched the cigarette away.
“Why? What?”
“…….”
Whatever the reason, apparently he wasn't going to let me smoke it.
That alone made him better than my seniors in the Guard.
If I started hurting myself, Hikan would've stood beside me and applauded.
Bastard.
‘One well-raised prisoner is worth ten prison guards…!’
Around that time, I repeatedly worked overtime until midnight before going home.
My body was exhausted, but my heart had become remarkably peaceful.
I was grateful for the fact that I could become a cog in the machine of this small society.
None of them liked me very much yet, but if I kept working hard, eventually my sincerity would get through to them.
That was what I thought.
…And whenever I think life is finally going well, it never takes long for me to realize I was mistaken.
It was the weekend.
I was working overtime long past quitting time.
The Warden stormed into the office and asked me,
“What are you doing?”
“…Pardon?”
I froze.
The duty guard beside me hurriedly tried to make an excuse.
“Ah, Warden. This guy is….”
“Quiet. Did I ask you?”
But the Warden cut him off and questioned me again.
“I asked what you're doing. It's midnight. Rank and name?”
“Junior Guard Samael! There were some areas where my work was lacking, so I was staying behind to make up for them!”
“What?”
He frowned as he looked at the documents I was holding.
“Why are you doing this?”
Why do you think so?
Because they told me to.
But a cold feeling brushed the back of my neck.
He'd realized something was wrong with the way this prison operated, and he was about to get angry over it.
That could not happen.
It would only make my life in the Guard even more miserable.
“I volunteered because I personally wanted to learn the work! My apologies. I will go home immediately!”
But apparently, the Warden saw straight through my shallow trick.
“……What a comedian.”
He disappeared with a laugh, but I grew uneasy.
I had not meant to do it.
It had been beyond my control.
Even so, I felt like I'd made a mistake.
And the next day, my fears became reality.
THUD!
The moment Hikan approached me in the corridor, he kicked my cane away and began stomping on me.
“Hey, you bastard. Why the fuck can't you read the room?”
For the moment, I curled up to shield myself while looking at his face.
Apparently, someone had smacked him around somewhere. One of his cheeks was swollen bright red.
“Just fucking quit already, you bastard! You! Leg! Crippled! Bastard! Fucking vermin!”
THUD! THUD! THUD!!
“Ah, what the fuck! I was happy because I was finally getting a junior after three years, and this piece of trash came crawling in. Fuck! You fucking bastard!!!”
Then he started openly kicking at my ankle.
As I took the blows, a sigh slipped out.
‘You're this crippled! You can't even feel pain, can you!?’
I could feel pain.
Because that ankle was the good one.
“…….”
His kicks hurt more than before.
My heart hurt a little more than that.
***
Only dead fish swim with the current.
I'd once read that line in a book.
The world was always carrying us somewhere, and being alive meant an endless succession of resistance.
Things were difficult, but I decided to endure anyway.
I repeated that to myself over and over on the way home.
But if the river swells, does even a living fish get swept downstream?
And what if that fish has had its fins cut off…….
The day after Hikan beat the hell out of me.
When I returned after finishing meal duty, all my belongings and my locker had been overturned and dumped everywhere.
I staggered around alone and cleaned everything up.
Then I returned to the office.
My desk was gone.
“…….”
There were fifteen guards in total in our Thomson Ward office, but not one of them looked at me.
There was no point asking anyone, either. I'd obviously just get cursed at.
So I had to find my desk myself.
On the off chance, I went out into the corridor.
And there I found it.
“…….”
Looking at my desk, cast out of the office, made my situation hit home all at once.
I suppose I'd been pushed out of their hearts in exactly the same way.
No.
Maybe it had happened long ago.
Months ago.
Or even earlier than that….
In other words, maybe from the very first day of my Guard appointment ceremony.
Maybe I'd always been someone who could never fit in.
“…….”
I sighed and bit my lip.
I wanted to hold out….
Around then, quitting time arrived.
I picked up my things and walked out of the office.
To my genuine disappointment, no one stopped me or tried to hold me back.
Even though I was leaving before they were.
Once outside the office, I shut the door and raised my middle finger toward it.
Goodbye.
Shitty fucking Guard.
I sincerely hope you get one gigantic prison-riot jailbreak spectacular.
I was about to turn away with that thought when ‘1208’ suddenly came to mind.
Apparently, the meal restriction had been lifted lately, because my other seniors had started feeding him too.
Maybe I should at least show my face one last time before I go.
This situation is pretty funny.
A prison guard is leaving the prison,
and the person he's saying goodbye to is a prisoner.
“1208. Bye.”
I called him through the bars.
1208 still would not even wave at me, but these days he seemed to have eased up on the stoic act a little.
Even the way he looked at me had softened somewhat compared to the beginning.
“This'll be the last time we see each other.”
“…….”
“I think I'm probably quitting now.”
“…….”
“Why are you staring at me like that? Ah, my face? There's this piece of trash named Hikan. Ugly guy with lots of white hair. He did this.”
“…….”
“Kind of a shame…. You know, recently, I tried something sort of like fortune-telling. I got an insanely high Misfortune score. Maybe this is what it was talking about.”
“…….”
“I also got an insanely high Fortune score at the same time, though. Wonder what that was supposed to….”
I knew this was the last time.
So I was muttering to myself when something began to feel strange.
Come to think of it, it had been almost a month since I'd started talking to 1208 and gotten to know him.
After spending so long looking into his eyes, I felt like I understood him a little now.
He was staring at me for an unusually long time.
What?
Are you sad your nice guard is leaving?
No….
That's not it.
This feels different from the way he watches something because he likes it.
What is this feeling?
“…….”
I swallowed dryly.
It felt as though he were seeing straight through me.
Before long, the air grew heavy.
And just when the sense of distance between us began to feel strange,
Prisoner No. 1208 pointed at me.
Telling me to come closer.
When I moved right up to the iron door, he opened his mouth.
“You greatly resemble one of my own blood.”
It felt as though lightning had struck my head.
His own blood?
A child?
“Fate rests with Heaven. Every being is born with the greater course of its life already prepared.”
His voice was calm and measured.
Yet something wild stirred beneath it, carrying the weight of years.
He could talk?
Then why had he spent all this time…….
“You, too, were fated to die on the first day of Samsunjeol. And in accordance with the natural order, you have spent the entirety of the life allotted to you and arrived at this day. Yet I would rather you did not die.”
What?
What does that mean?
1208 raised his head.
“Thus, today I intend to defy Heaven and violate the natural order.”
I did not understand his words, but without realizing it, I nodded.
―.
A vision unfolded.
When I closed my eyes and opened them again, I was no longer in the Guard.
It was a space so vast that its end could not be seen.
Before me was a living creature enormous enough to cover the sky.
It looked down at me with an eye as massive as a building.
At the same time, it spoke to me.
“Child. Come closer.”
At 1208's murmur, the vision shattered, and my mind snapped back into focus.
My body moved before I realized it.
As I stood frozen, he began explaining something.
“I shall give you a magic tool.”
“This is a magic tool that rulers and visionaries throughout the land, treasure hunters, the Imperial Family, and nobles have sought since ancient times. It is the tool that raised me up and brought me to where I stand.”
“Its use is exceedingly simple. You are clever; understanding it should pose no difficulty.”
After that, I had no idea what happened or how.
My mind no longer felt like my own.
I was outside the bars.
He was inside.
There should clearly have been that distance between us.
And yet, to me, it felt as though I stood directly before him.
“Close your eyes.”
He raised his enormous hand and extended his index finger toward my eye behind my glasses.
FLASH―
After the light burst, I found myself rolling across the floor.
Without realizing it, I'd begun writhing and screaming.
“If you survive, be sure to return here. For I wish to see you once more.”
After his voice echoed in my ears one final time,
I lost consciousness.
「 The King and the Cripple 」
END