We arrived home.
“I’m sooooo sorry I’m late!” Mito announced as she bounced into the living room, and she fit right into the atmosphere almost instantly.
As expected, she was a socializing monster.
She laughed at Mom’s questionable jokes, teased Masataka whenever he got embarrassed, and praised every dish on the table with almost comical enthusiasm. She fit in so effortlessly that I was the one who felt out of place.
In my own home, I somehow felt like a stranger.
After dinner, Mom and Masataka stood side by side at the sink and began washing the dishes.
Meanwhile, Mito and I would take turns bathing.
I led her into my bedroom, where I found exactly what I’d seen in the photograph.
An additional study desk. A comfortable-looking Yogibo beanbag cushion. And three enormous cardboard boxes stacked conspicuously in the corner.
“Huh?”
I looked around the renovated room and tilted my head.
Just as in the photograph, there was only one bed. My beloved semi-double bed, and nothing else. It looked exactly as it had that morning.
What was going on? I frowned, trying to make sense of it. I’d been told they were going to convert it into a bunk bed.
“Since I’m unpacking, why don’t you take the first bath, big sis?”
“Oh, right. Yes, I suppose I will.”
I took some loungewear from the clothes rack and headed downstairs.
Before going to the bathroom, I stopped by the kitchen to speak to Mom, who was still washing dishes. Masataka wasn’t there. I could hear noises coming from the bedroom, so he was probably continuing to unpack.
“Um, Mom? About the bed…”
“Oh, sorry! I forgot to tell you. We’re leaving it as it is for a while.”
“What?”
In an utterly casual tone, Mom delivered a devastating announcement.
“Apparently, something went wrong on the contractor’s end, and they’ve asked us to wait until next month for the work.”
“W-wait, Mom. Next month? That’s two weeks from now!”
“That’s right.”
“What about the spare futon?”
“Oh, no, we can’t use that. Masataka needs it.”
Then what exactly was I supposed to do?
“Why don’t you two just sleep in the same bed? You’re sisters, after all.”
“……”
Mom smiled happily, apparently delighted by the thought.
“It’ll be just like a school trip! How fun!”
How much did this woman love school trips, anyway?
We’d lived together for fifteen years. Surely, by now, she should have understood that her daughter was a hopeless introvert.
“Eeeeeeeh…”
I clutched my head.
Sharing a bed. Sharing a bed with a girl I’d only met today…
And of all people, it had to be that suspicious middle school girl.
What if she ate me alive?
Terrifying.
I knew better than anyone that human beings were frightening creatures.
I washed myself in a daze, then cautiously returned to my room.
Mito was leaning back against the Yogibo cushion, tapping away at her phone.
“Oh, big sis.”
“I’m… done with my bath.”
“Mm-hmm.”
She sprang to her feet and stared intently at my face.
“Huhhh…”
“W-what is it…?”
Her face was so close. Her sense of personal space was completely broken. I wasn’t wearing any perfume, yet somehow she smelled wonderful.
Terrifying…
“I thought that might be the case, but you really aren’t wearing any makeup, are you? That’s amazing, big sis. What’s your skin made of?”
“Um…”
I had absolutely no idea what she was getting at.
“Um, the bathroom is the second door after you leave the living room.”
“Okaaay! See you later, big sis!”
She dashed out of the room, every movement so light and graceful it was as though she’d forgotten gravity existed.
Finally alone, I let out a long breath.
Perhaps she’d made good progress unpacking. On one of the two study desks, several cute stationery items had been arranged neatly.
Multicolored pens. Illustrated sticky notes. Decorative masking tape.
Amid the colorful little trinkets adorning the desk, one object caught my eye before I could look away.
A glass pen resting in its stand, beside a bottle of ice-blue ink flecked with silver glitter.
My heart gave a sudden, painful thump.
No, I told myself.
The manufacturer was different. The ink color was different, too.
I knew that.
And yet, my chest ached.
It was a dull pain that seemed to reach right into my core, like digging a fingernail into an old scar through the scab covering it.
“Hey, big sis? I heard there’s only one bed. Are you listening?”
“Eek!”
“What happened?”
I turned around, trembling, to find Mito standing there with a towel pressed against her wet hair.
“P-please knock before entering my room…”
“Huh? I never do that.”
Seriously…? Why not…?
“Let’s establish some rules for living together. First, knock before entering the room. That’s rule number one. As for the rest… well, we’ll figure them out as we go.”
“Rules…”
She repeated the word quietly, as though she’d just heard an unfamiliar term for the first time in her life.
“Oh, right. We’re going to be living together, aren’t we? I guess we really do need something like that.”
For some reason, Mito was smiling happily.
“This is kind of fun, isn’t it? Living in the same room as someone else.”
“F-fun?”
What was I supposed to do? I honestly couldn’t understand what my stepsister was talking about.
My personal space was being invaded, and I was absolutely miserable.
“Isn’t it fun for you, big sis? Don’t you like sharing a room with me?”
“Ah, yes. I don’t like it.”
“That was instant!”
“N-no, I mean, I’m sorry. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with you personally.”
I glanced at the glass pen on Mito’s desk, as if trying to confirm something within myself.
“I just… like being alone.”
“Really?”
“When I’m alone, I don’t have to worry about other people’s feelings. I don’t have to worry about being hurt or hurting someone else, either.”
Mito blinked her big eyes several times. They were so bright, it was as if they held sparkling jewels within them.
“Doesn’t that make you lonely?”
“Lonely…?”
It had never occurred to me to think about it that way.
I’d never found being alone unpleasant. At least, not since that incident.
Anything before that was hazy and indistinct, like a memory obscured by fog.
“I don’t really know. I’ve never felt lonely.”
“I see…”
Mito spoke thoughtfully.
“You’re strong, big sis. You’re someone who can manage on her own.”
Then, almost as if she were talking to herself, she continued.
“I’m weak, so I get lonely. I absolutely hate coming home to an empty house. When school ends and I get home, everything is so quiet. When I’m all alone, it scares me. It makes me anxious. It feels like I’ve been kicked out of the world.”
Come to think of it, Mom had told me that Masataka was so busy with work that he could rarely come home.
Perhaps the way Mito and I understood being alone was completely different. I wanted solitude, while she’d been forced to endure it.
And perhaps that meant we saw the very idea of home differently, too.
“When I think that nobody is there to see me, I get so scared I can hardly stand it. It feels like I’ve become invisible.”
I didn’t understand.
For someone like me, who was trying to become something colorless and transparent, that sounded like the ideal world.
Mito gave me a shy smile.
“Sorry, that was a weird thing to bring up out of nowhere. Um… what were we talking about again? Oh, right! Big sis, what should we do about the bed? Should we sleep together?”
“No, absolutely not, thank you. I’ll sleep on the floor, so don’t worry about me.”
“Oh! Then I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“N-no, you can’t do that either.”
“Why not?”
Why not? Wasn’t that obvious?
“Because… I’m your big sister.”
At my words, Mito blinked several times.
“You’re my big sister because you’re my big sister?”
“Yes.”
It was an arrangement I hadn’t exactly wanted, but that was the situation we’d ended up in.
Mito looked me up and down as though she were inspecting a toy she’d just been given. Her gaze was utterly unapologetic, and it sent an uncomfortable shiver down my back.
“But Misuzu-san said there weren’t any spare futons.”
“We have a winter blanket.”
“Ehh? Your body will hurt if you sleep on the floor! Since I’m the one imposing on you, I should be the one to sleep there.”
“No.”
“Then let’s sleep together-”
“That’s impossible…”
“Muu…”
Mito puffed out her cheeks in a sulk.
Just then, her phone rang.
She glanced at the screen.
“Y-your friend?” I asked.
“Nope. It’s Nazuna-chan. Oh, right! The person I was with at the park the other day.”
My heart gave another painful thump.
The woman in the business suit.
The one who’d been kissing Mito.
“Aren’t you going to answer?”
“Hmm…”
Mito gave me a quick, searching glance.
Perhaps she was planning to have a conversation she didn’t want me to hear. Considering who was calling, that would make sense.
Whatever they were going to talk about, I doubted it would be pleasant listening.
I reached for the bedroom door.
“I’m going to get some water.”
I slipped out of the room as though making my escape, then sat down halfway up the stairs.
I buried my face in my knees and let out a long, deep breath.
“…Sigh…”
This really wasn’t going to work.
Our worlds were simply too different.
I couldn’t see how we’d ever manage to get along.