Perhaps even the doctor had been kept in the dark.
You Li’s drug resistance had been growing stronger and stronger for a long time now.
The side effects of the medication had less and less of an impact on him. Even after taking it, he no longer fell into the same deep slumber as before, sleeping for several uninterrupted hours at a time.
The time it took him to regain consciousness after losing it had become remarkably short.
You Li’s eyelids trembled faintly. He vaguely sensed someone beside him. The next instant, he forcibly stilled himself, abandoning the instinctive struggle to pry his eyes open. His breathing unconsciously became lighter for a brief moment before he quickly adjusted it back to the slow, steady rhythm of someone sound asleep.
During the past period, he had often pretended to be asleep in front of the Clown. Although he had usually done so while his consciousness was hazy, his body had already formed an instinctive memory of it.
He seemed to be lying flat on a hospital bed. Around him came the faint, continuous hum of electronic equipment. Someone stood at his side, adjusting the machines.
Through the thin layer of air between them, a hand slowly traced across his scalp with unhurried fingers, calmly dividing and marking different positions.
As though considering where to begin.
At the tip of You Li’s nose lingered the faint scent of cream.
“His brain won’t really get damaged from being wiped so many times, will it? How many times has this been already?”
Who was speaking?
Was it the doctor?
“It won’t. If you’ve got nothing to do, then shut up.”
No… this one sounded more like the doctor.
Their voices were incredibly similar. One sounded slightly muffled, while the other was clearer. If they hadn’t been speaking back and forth, You Li probably wouldn’t have realized there were actually two different people in the room.
“Increase the anesthetic dose a little. It hurts every single time.”
“An overdose of anesthetic can cause varying degrees of impaired consciousness and carries a very high risk of shock.” The doctor sounded as though he had finally reached the limit of his patience.
“He’s been undergoing rehabilitation for so many days and even now he still can’t walk steadily.”
“A player died right in front of him today and woke him up ahead of time and you still didn’t notice. You even let him get away.”
“How many times has he escaped from your hands already?”
“You say that as if you can keep yourself from giving in whenever he cries out that it hurts.”
“I’m not the one who’s the easiest to go soft.”
You Li listened for a long while before he finally recognized that it was the Clown’s voice. His mind was almost completely blank.
Only after a long moment did he hear the doctor glance at his wristwatch before speaking.
“The fasting period is over. Hold him down.”
He suddenly felt a chill spread across his arm. A sharp sting followed and then something cold was injected into his vein.
In scarcely more than two minutes, his consciousness began to sink once again. Drowsiness swept over him in waves. He vaguely felt something being placed against his head.
Once it had been secured in position, the quiet sounds of medical equipment operating slowly filled the room.
The Clown asked, “How many sessions?”
The doctor calculated the time before replying, “Three. Three times a day. There are only two days left.”
It hurt,
It hurt so much,
His entire cerebral cortex throbbed with a dull, numbing ache. Every nerve seemed to twitch in spasms. The machine slowly shifted from the side of his head toward the crown. You Li didn’t know where the strength came from but somehow his willpower broke through the anesthetic just before it could completely take effect.
With immense effort, he forced his eyes open.
He struggled to turn his head.
Tears overflowed from the corners of his eyes, silently sliding down into his hair on both sides.
His powerless hand slowly lifted as well, reaching forward as though trying to grasp something, trying to drag himself up from the hospital bed.
But all he caught was empty air.
The doctor seemed to have anticipated that he would struggle.
“The anesthetic will take effect in a moment. You’ll fall asleep very soon. Don’t be afraid.”
You Li parted his lips, wanting to say something.
The next second, the anesthetic’s effects surged through his body with overwhelming speed. Before he could utter even a single word, he remained frozen with his lips slightly parted as unconsciousness completely swallowed him.
…
When You Li awoke once more, his eyelids trembled lightly.
He had no idea how long he had been asleep.
There were still people beside him.
“That’s the first session. He can’t take too much anesthetic and it’s time for his medication. Feed it to him.”
“Why can’t we just finish it all at once?”
There was a faint trace of irritation in the Clown’s voice.
“It’s part of the instance’s settings. The transcranial magnetic stimulation has to follow its treatment schedule. Otherwise, it won’t be effective.”
Someone pried open You Li’s mouth.
A pill was pushed inside.
Then came water.
He didn’t swallow.
But the pill dissolved in his mouth and his throat instinctively swallowed it down before he could stop himself.
What had they injected into him?
What had they made him take?
What exactly were they trying to do to him?
Pain came once again.
Since this time they had given him medicine instead of another injection, You Li remained conscious for a little longer.
He heard the familiar sounds of the machine operating beside his ear.
Only then did he belatedly realize that he was undergoing physical therapy.
He had received the same treatment in reality before. It actually wasn’t all that painful.
But because his entire head was already aching with a persistent, dull pain, every sensation piled together and overlapped, making the discomfort incomparably more distinct.
You Li wanted to push the bits of medicine powder that hadn’t completely dissolved back out of his mouth.
But in the very next instant, the doctor slipped his gloved fingertips into You Li’s mouth, forcing apart lips and teeth that couldn’t fully close.
His fingers reached deep inside.
Applying a little pressure, he calmly pressed against the root of You Li’s tongue.
You Li couldn’t stop his jaw from opening wider.
His throat opened with it.
The medicine powder, mixed with the saliva he had been holding in his mouth, was immediately forced down his throat.
His eyes opened just a fraction.
The last thing his fading consciousness managed to see was the doctor’s hand, slick with saliva and dissolved medicine, slowly withdrawing from his mouth.
He didn’t want to keep sleeping.
He didn’t want to take medicine anymore…
Help…
Help…
His consciousness sank once more into chaotic darkness.
You Li awoke for the third time.
He jolted awake almost violently, as though he had just fallen into a bottomless abyss. The terror left over from before he had fallen asleep lingered inside him as his eyes abruptly flew open.
His mouth was filled with the bitter taste of medicine.
Against it, the cloyingly sweet scent of cream hanging in the air became even more pronounced.
He slowly turned his face toward the source of the smell.
A small cake had been left on a nearby table.
Having sat there for far too long, the cream had already melted into a puddle of soft, foamy liquid. Just like its overpowering fragrance, it looked sickeningly sweet, so sweet it seemed on the verge of rotting away.
Was it because he had lied to them?
Was this… his punishment?
He slowly turned his head the other way.
The doctor and the Clown stood with their backs facing him.
Almost by instinct, You Li immediately closed his eyes again.
His breathing became so light that it was nearly impossible to detect.
He should have guessed.
He should have guessed long ago.
The words he had engraved deep into his memory resurfaced once again.
“…Don’t trust other people’s words so easily anymore. Whether they’re human or ghosts is another matter but even humans are capable of speaking lies worthy of ghosts.”
They were all liars.
The Clown was a liar.
The doctor was a liar too.
Every one of them had been deceiving him.
The discharge certificate had been fake as well.
That had been another lie, another trick to fool him.
The doctor had always been able to see the Clown.
He had always known the other man had been following You Li, whispering into his ear.
He had always known that someone else was inside his hospital room at night.
They had been working together all along.
None of it had ever been his hallucinations.
He had never hallucinated at all.
“The instance is almost over.” The doctor operated the machine as he spoke. “There’s only one player left. It’s time for you to leave.”
The Clown picked up a scalpel.
“I’ll go clean him up. After he finishes the remaining treatment sessions and before all of his memories are completely erased, let me stay with him.”
He left.
The doctor picked up the medicine and a cup of water.
The moment he turned around, he met the young man’s tear-reddened eyes.
His expression did not change in the slightest.
“He just left. Do you need me to call him back?”
You Li’s tears seemed ready to spill over at any second.
His gaze was filled with panic and terror.
“You’re going to erase my memories…”
How terrifying.
So terrifying.
“You’re going to erase my memories again.”
He watched as the doctor approached him with the medicine.
“…Help… help me, please… save me… I don’t want to… I don’t want to, “
You Li’s entire body was weak.
He curled himself into a tight ball on the hospital bed, desperately shrinking backward.
The doctor, however, looked at him thoughtfully.
“You seem to be waking up earlier and earlier. Were you pretending to sleep before so you could eavesdrop on our conversations?”
He stopped beside the bed.
“Be good. Come here.”
Behind You Li was nothing but the wall.
There was nowhere left for him to retreat.
The doctor waited for a moment before extending a hand toward him.
Suddenly, You Li grabbed hold of the doctor’s hand.
He rubbed his tear-soaked cheek against the doctor’s palm.
“Don’t… please… I’m begging you… please…”
His words tumbled over one another in complete disorder as he desperately tried to think of something.
“Doctor… the medicine you prescribed for me before… you were trying to cure me, weren’t you?”
His crying was broken with sobs, flustered and helpless.
“I know… I already know.”
Without changing his expression, the doctor attempted to withdraw his hand.
Following that movement, You Li stumbled forward, collapsing onto the hospital bed before struggling back up.
Trembling, he clung tightly to the doctor’s hand, refusing to let him leave, all the while rubbing against it with his damp eyelids and soft lips.
“I took all the medicine obediently. I really took it properly. I listened.”
“Please don’t be angry.”
As his lips parted while he spoke, there were several moments when the doctor’s fingers were nearly drawn into his mouth as well.
Saliva and tears dampened the pristine white gloves, leaving them thoroughly soaked.
The doctor’s voice remained calm.
“I’m not angry.”
He lifted You Li’s face.
After studying him quietly for a moment, he gently wiped away the tears on You Li’s cheeks with the pad of his thumb.
“You’ve been very well-behaved these past few days. Are you going to be good today too?”
You Li nodded frantically.
“I will. Today I worked hard during rehabilitation. I walked for a very, very long time.”
The doctor asked in return,
“What about now?”
You Li answered through trembling sobs.
“I’m being good now too. I’m good.”
The doctor said,
“Then take your medicine.”
You Li burst into tears.
He tried using the same tearful tactic that had always worked on the Clown.
It was completely useless.
Not even a little.
From beginning to end, the doctor’s tone never changed.
“Take your medicine.”
“I’m not taking it! I won’t!”
You Li cried out loud.
Only after the words left his mouth did he belatedly realize that the previous sentence hadn’t been spoken by the doctor at all.
It had come from the System inside his mind.
The mechanical voice remained calm and rational, every word piercing straight through his brain.
“Listen to him. Take the medicine.”
“Your drug resistance has already advanced to the point where the medicine’s effects won’t begin for at least another thirty minutes.”
“One treatment session takes fifteen minutes.”
“Endure it until it’s finished.”
“You’ll still have another fifteen minutes of consciousness afterward.”
You Li stared at the doctor for several long moments.
Before the doctor could extend his hand again, You Li slowly moved.
The doctor spread his palm open.
“Take it.”
With tears continuing to stream down his face, You Li slowly reached toward the medicine resting in the doctor’s hand.
One hand clutched tightly around the doctor’s forearm.
His drenched eyelashes remained lowered.
His soft lips touched the doctor’s palm.
Using his teeth and tongue, he slowly took the tablets into his mouth one by one.
As he swallowed them, tears continued falling without pause.
The white glove covering the doctor’s palm was almost soaked through, drenched completely with moisture.
The doctor said,
“Lie down.”
The System said,
“Do as he says.”
You Li lay back down.
The doctor said,
“Close your eyes. Don’t be afraid. It’ll be over soon.”
You Li’s breathing trembled.
He slowly closed his eyes.
He bit down on his own lips.
But the doctor inserted two fingers between his lips and teeth.
“Hold them.”
Although You Li’s lips looked soft and delicate while they enclosed the doctor’s fingers, they still carried some strength.
Just a few minutes earlier, as though venting all of his frustration, he had bitten the doctor’s fingers until they bled.
The doctor never moved.
He simply allowed You Li to bite, tear and grind against them however he wished.
While enduring the pain and crying silently, You Li pretended that the medicine had finally taken effect.
Little by little, he relaxed his bite.
The tension gradually drained from his entire body.
Even his breathing slowly became smooth and steady.
Very, very slowly, he closed his eyes completely.
The doctor withdrew his fingers.
When the allotted time was up, he shut off the machine.
He wiped the blood and saliva from his hand before organizing You Li’s medicine box.
A moment later, he left the treatment room and headed toward the pharmacy.
He was going to replenish the medicine that was nearly used up.
Before leaving, the doctor reminded him once more.
“Don’t run around.”
The instant You Li heard the footsteps fade into the distance, he immediately opened his eyes and scrambled off the hospital bed in panic.
His entire body was limp with weakness.
The moment his feet touched the floor, his knees nearly buckled beneath him, almost sending him collapsing onto the ground.
The System suddenly spoke.
“You only have fifteen minutes. Are you certain you want to leave?”
You Li supported himself against the hospital bed before forcing himself upright.
“I can leave. I can.”
The System replied,
“I’m talking about leaving the instance.”
After a brief pause, it continued,
“If you can’t find the method to clear the instance within these fifteen minutes, you’re better off staying.”
Supporting himself against the wall, You Li staggered unsteadily toward the door.
“Why would I stay? They’re going to erase my memories.”
The System answered without the slightest hurry.
“Do you know what happens to players who fail to clear an instance within the time limit, remain here and yet don’t die?”
Almost instinctively, You Li asked,
“What…”
The System answered,
“Erasure.”
“Your existence will be completely wiped away.”
It continued,
“Do you still remember what happens when your memories are erased inside an instance?”
You Li stood frozen as he slowly recalled it.
“I’ll be assimilated into an NPC… Does that mean the instance will judge me as already dead?”
He shook his head repeatedly.
“No… I don’t want that. I don’t want to stay here forever.”
“You won’t be assimilated.”
The deep male voice simulated by the mechanical system sounded as though it were whispering directly beside his ear, speaking each word slowly and distinctly.
“As long as I’m here, you will never be assimilated by the instance.”
You Li stared blankly.
“Is it the same for everyone else?”
The System seemed to smile.
“Only you have me.”
Those words sounded as though they were telling him that only You Li was special.
“Is the doctor… helping me?”
“Not entirely. He has his own selfish motives.”
“Aren’t you the game’s System?”
“I am your System alone.”
Only You Li possessed that privilege.
The System said,
“Think it through before you leave.”
You Li replied,
“I’ve already thought it through.”
“I can clear the instance. This time, I definitely can clear it.”
You Li took a deep breath.
He left the treatment room.
He looked utterly miserable at the moment, disheveled beyond words yet he still said,
“I won’t have to start all over again.”
The System replied,
“You don’t need to make a speech to me. The doctor will be back soon. If you’re leaving, then hurry.”
Even so, You Li quietly whispered,
“…Thank you.”
Three minutes later, the doctor returned to the treatment room.
What greeted him was an empty hospital bed.
The patient who had only moments ago been clinging to him, rubbing against him, biting him, crying until his entire face was soaked with tears and looking unbearably pitiful…
Had already run as far away as he possibly could.
The doctor turned around and headed for the consultation room to check the surveillance footage.
There were less than ten minutes left.
What could he possibly accomplish in ten minutes?
Would it be enough for him to find a safe place to hide until the medicine finally wore off?
Just to be safe, he also had to leave the clues inside the recreation room so that Chen Shuang would be able to find them.
He vaguely remembered overhearing the Clown saying that he was going to deal with the last remaining player.
Now that he had escaped, once the Clown returned to search for him, would Chen Shuang be safe for the time being?
Chen Shuang was the only player who had ever been willing to help him.
You Li didn’t want to watch her die at the Clown’s hands.
He understood all too clearly that if he were alone, there was absolutely no way he could escape.
If the two of them worked together, their chances of clearing the instance would be much greater.
He didn’t want to remain trapped inside this instance forever.
He didn’t want to forget who he was.
He didn’t want to forget where he had come from.
He didn’t want his past to be erased and rewritten by someone else’s hand whenever they pleased.
Again and again, trapped in endless cycles.
Again and again, having his memories erased.
Again and again, experiencing hope, only for it to collapse into despair.
Unable to die.
Yet living like a puppet.
Would there come a day…
When he would even forget his own name?
Supporting himself against the wall, You Li continued running forward.
Even though traces of the anesthetic still lingered inside his body…
Even though his legs had not yet fully recovered through rehabilitation…
He still forced himself onward.
Every few steps, he stumbled violently.
He barely managed to keep himself from falling before pushing himself forward again.
He kept trying.
He had to leave the clues.
Then he had to hide.
The doctor had always had an extremely low tolerance for his refusal to obediently undergo treatment and take his medicine.
The Clown was no different.
The moment he showed even the slightest intention of escaping, the Clown would become furious.
If he were caught again…
Something terrifying would definitely happen to him.
The System spoke.
“There’s surveillance above you.”
You Li froze for a moment.
Almost instinctively, he looked up.
Under the surveillance camera, the young man tilted his face upward and met the blinking red lens with his own eyes.
Even through the screen, the confusion inside his gaze was unmistakably clear.
It was as though he had no idea that someone had been watching every single one of his movements through those cameras.
Tracking his whereabouts.
Knowing exactly which path he walked.
Where he was now.
Where he intended to run next.
For some reason, You Li felt as though he were making eye contact with someone through that glowing red camera lens.
In that instant, the cold malice hidden behind the camera seemed to wrap itself tightly around him like a shadow.
A chill crawled down his spine.
His face turned pale.
Avoiding the surveillance cameras, he lowered his head and hurried onward.
Yet every time You Li entered the field of view of another camera, the lens, which had originally been pointed elsewhere, would slowly rotate until it was aimed directly at him.
His footsteps became increasingly frantic.
You Li had forgotten.
He didn’t know how to find the cameras’ blind spots.
The System inside his mind seemed to be saying something.
But every word was muted before he could hear it.
Only the examination rooms and patient wards were free of surveillance cameras.
Remaining beneath the cameras’ watch until the last possible moment, You Li hurried into one of the examination rooms.
Almost the very next second, the doctor pushed open the examination room door as well.
His gaze swept calmly across the room.
The examination room was completely empty.
Aside from the NPC doctors who had already been inside and the two nurses, there was no one else.
The moment those three NPCs saw the doctor arrive, they immediately began pushing the equipment out of the room.
Preparing to clear the area.
Before they had even left…
The Clown kicked the door open the next instant.
“Where is he?”
The doctor answered,
“He’s here.”
The Clown let out a cold laugh.
“He ran again.”
The doctor’s voice remained perfectly calm.
“The hospital is only this big.”
“He can’t escape.”
You Li held his breath.
He covered both his mouth and nose.
Curled into the smallest ball he could manage inside the cramped, pitch-black hiding place.
Why…
Why did they seem completely unafraid of him escaping?
Why were they so certain that no matter how far he ran, he could never leave the instance?
It was almost as though the exit and the method for clearing the instance, wasn’t inside the hospital at all.
That was why they weren’t anxious.
Why they didn’t fear him escaping over and over again.
The Clown’s next sentence, however, made You Li’s heart leap straight into his throat.
His breathing stopped.
His mind went completely blank.
His entire body began trembling uncontrollably.
“Kill him when you find him.”
The loud bang of cabinet doors being kicked open echoed right beside You Li’s ears.
He covered his ears instinctively.
His body shuddered violently.
His complexion had turned deathly pale.
He was afraid.
The threat to his life brought him even greater terror than nearly having his memories erased just moments ago.
The Clown crouched down halfway.
One cabinet door after another was pulled open.
His tone lifted ever so slightly.
It was impossible to tell whether he was threatening him…
Or whether he genuinely meant every word.
With a faintly amused voice, he said,
“After all, I’ve already killed him once.”
He lifted the examination bed to look underneath.
His voice became chillingly cold.
“A corpse is always more obedient than a living person.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Nycreth
[Translator]
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ChaptersChapter 1 · I have amnesia (1)Chapter 2 · I have amnesia (2)Chapter 3 · I have amnesia (3)Chapter 4 · I have amnesia (4)Chapter 5 · I have amnesia (5)Chapter 6 · I have amnesia (6)Chapter 7 · I have amnesia (7)Chapter 8 · I have amnesia (8)Chapter 9 · I have amnesia (9)Chapter 10 · I have amnesia (10)Chapter 11 · I have amnesia (11)Chapter 12 · I have amnesia (12)Chapter 13 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 14 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 15 · I have amnesia (15)Chapter 16 · I have amnesia (16)Chapter 17 · I have amnesia (17)Chapter 18 · I have amnesia (18)Chapter 19 · I have amnesia (19)Chapter 20 · I have amnesia (20)Chapter 21 · I have amnesia (21)Chapter 22 · I have amnesia (22)Chapter 23 · I have amnesia (23)Chapter 24 · I have amnesia (24)Chapter 25 · I have amnesia (25)Chapter 26 · I have amnesia (26)Chapter 27 · I have amnesia (27)Chapter 28 · I have amnesia (28)Chapter 29 · Desert Highway (1)Chapter 30 · Desert Highway (2)Chapter 31 · Desert Highway (3)Chapter 32 · Desert Highway (4)Chapter 33 · Desert Highway (5)Chapter 34 · Desert Highway (6)Chapter 35 · Desert Highway (7)Chapter 36 · Desert Highway (8)Chapter 37 · Desert Highway (9)Chapter 38 · Desert Highway (10)Chapter 39 · Desert Highway (11)Chapter 40 · Desert Highway (12)Chapter 41 · Desert Highway (13)Chapter 42 · Desert Highway (14)Chapter 43 · Desert Highway (15)