Zhang Yinluo, who had already been waiting a while, finally spotted her quarry, a sharp light flashing in her eyes. But she remembered Hu Shouxin's charge at last... Though doubts lingered, the fact that a Tianyuan hero and local Errant Guild leader like Hu had vouched so solemnly gave her a little confidence in the errant before her — maybe he really wasn't the suspect, and really could bring the true culprit to justice.
At that thought, she halted, breathed slowly a few times to steady herself, then lifted her head and tried to put on a sincere, friendly smile to ease the recent misunderstanding and hostility.
Then she found him stopped in his tracks, a curious look on his face. "...What's with the ahegao?"
Zhang Yinluo blinked. "What's an ahegao?"
"An ahegao — well, there was once a beautiful girl named Ah-hei who, while doing certain very pleasurable things, received pleasure upon pleasure, and those pleasures piled atop one another and gave her still more pleasure, granting her a stretch of time as blissful as a dream. In that ultimate happiness and joy, she couldn't help but break into an extraordinarily affecting smile — a smile so infectious that everyone who saw it felt her happiness too..."
Sun Lang spun his nonsense with a perfectly straight face. "Later generations, wishing to forever protect that smile, forever commemorate it, named Ah-hei's expression of that day... the ahegao."
He gazed at Zhang Yinluo and said earnestly, "Looks a lot like your face right now."
"Uh..." Zhang Yinluo felt something was off but couldn't put her finger on it. Still, he'd said Ah-hei was a beautiful girl, and the look on her face in her happiness and joy must have been beautiful too, so... was he complimenting me? She hesitated a moment. "Thank you?"
"No need, no need. I'm merely stating a fact." Sun Lang waved a modest hand. "After all, I'm an honest man, famed for daring to speak the truth."
Hearing him sing his own praises, Zhang Yinluo broke into a small smile. Clearly the head constable was in a good mood — she was a woman too, after all, and a woman praised for her beauty is pleased in her heart even if she won't say it... So it seemed this errant wasn't as bad as she'd imagined? Maybe he really wasn't the suspect, in which case she'd owe him a proper apology once the truth came out...
On that basis, she resolved to make her manner more earnest still, drew herself up gravely, and said in a solemn voice, "Sir errant, I've come this time with a request. Might I ask you—"
"Sorry, no time, I'm busy." Sun Lang patted the wooden box in his hands. "A friend gave me a fun new toy. I'm going home to play with my pistol."
I knew it wouldn't be that simple — but sincerity, sincerity, keep a good attitude, keep a good attitude... Zhang Yinluo reminded herself a few times and put on a kindly smile. "I can wait until you're done playing."
"...That wouldn't really be appropriate." Sun Lang said bashfully. "I'm a very introverted man, very shy. I might get nervous. If I knew you were waiting outside, I might not be able to get it out..."
Clearly, as a native woman of this land, Zhang Yinluo had no such advanced knowledge and couldn't make heads or tails of what Sun Lang was saying. She took it for him deliberately stalling and shirking, and her expression turned subtle, her smile taking on a teeth-gritting edge. She narrowed her eyes. "That's all right. How about I help you fire it?"
"Hssss..." Sun Lang sucked in a cold breath. "Why is the plot suddenly veering in this direction?! I'm not that kind of easy man!"
"...I really feel like you're making fun of me in some filthy way."
"Mercy. I'm merely lamenting the poverty and backwardness of this country's sex education." Sun Lang waved a hand. "Long story short: you came alone, so you're surely not here to arrest me, and you're wearing that wic— that blissful smile, currying favor as plain as day, so you've definitely got a request. Tie that to what happened this morning, and you want my help? But you know nothing about me — how can you be sure I can even help? And our meetings last night and this morning were hardly friendly, so what makes you confident you can talk me into it? Yet here you are, which means you've got something to rely on — which means even more that someone tipped you off about me and firmed up your resolve..."
The errant heaved a sigh at the heavens. "Hu the Big Cudgel, I screw your mother..."
"It was I who begged him again and again, even bullied him willfully, before Guild Leader Hu agreed. And I could feel that he agreed for your sake — the concern and protectiveness in his words, even an outsider like me could see it. Don't blame him." Hearing him, Zhang Yinluo explained urgently. "Maybe I did wrong you today, but to speak only to the facts: last night you turned that Qin Yu into that state, and in the blink of an eye she was snatched away — that situation truly was suspicious. As the last person to have contact with Qin Yu, listing you as one of the suspects is sound investigative reasoning. Given it over again, I'd surely make the same judgment, so blame me all you like... But Guild Leader Hu surely meant it for your good. His wanting you to take this on is surely to clear you of suspicion..."
Sun Lang waved a hand. "Enough, no need to explain. My friendship with Hu Shouxin is far sturdier than you imagine. Why would I take offense over such a trifle?"
Zhang Yinluo paused. Friendship? Didn't he say you were his nephew? The head constable blinked. "Friendship? How sturdy?"
Sun Lang thought a moment. "About sturdy enough that, if Hu Shouxin were killed, I'd drag the killer's family, his neighbors, his ancestors eight generations back, and everyone connected to him to his side and hack them all to mincemeat, destroy everything he held dear, and watch the killer die of sheer heartbreak amid his wailing and despair. That sturdy."
The head constable jumped at first, then shook her head and laughed. "Your friendship really is very good — and you do love your jokes."
The errant neither confirmed nor denied it. He strolled to the gate, looked the door over, then turned back. "There's a lock on the door, but it keeps out gentlemen, not scoundrels. Since I'm still a suspect in your eyes, and you now know where I live, why not just break the door down and search the place — see if there's a dark cellar and a dog-eared beauty with a leash round her neck?"
"Asking you back to the Six Gates to assist the investigation earlier was within my rights, but a search of the premises requires a formal warrant. And with Guild Leader Hu vouching for you, your suspicion has shrunk further, and you may well become my helper and ally — so why would I do something so unwise as to push you onto the enemy's side? And if you are the culprit, then I'll find proof of your crime fair and square in due course. Why go sneaking around?" Zhang Yinluo threw out her chest proudly. "Besides, I'm no gentleman, but I'm no scoundrel either. This is your home — how could I barge in and ransack it without your leave?"
"Wrong, wrong. You green little fledgling, you don't know the methods of us official folk. 'Steady, sure, ruthless' — those three words are the secret to surviving officialdom. Sticking to statute like this, too hidebound to bend, you'll come to grief." Sun Lang smiled. "The ways of the jianghu and of officialdom run together to a degree — strike first to gain the upper hand, lay your problems down flat first and talk after. Faced with a thing like this, you should use thunderous measures, to hell with warrants and rules. Miss a chance sometimes and more people get hurt. Cut when it's time to cut — that's the proper way. As for the arrest warrant, just file it after the fact. And that's the law-abiding, conscientious version. Meet the kind with no conscience, and where there's no evidence they'll manufacture it — solving the case is about promotions and money anyway, so as long as there's a 'criminal' to confess and close it, it's done..."
"Your thinking is dreadfully extreme... All this 'strike first to gain the upper hand' — take this case: if I struck first, barged into your home, hunted for evidence, even manufactured evidence, nailed you as a criminal and threw you in the cells — if you were innocent, wouldn't I have wronged you? Solving cases and saving people, upholding justice, is one thing, but you must never wrong a good person to do it — that's more detestable than failing to catch the criminal!" Zhang Yinluo retorted indignantly. "This really is standard errant thinking — lawless, heaven-defying. I have heard of errants who do as they please, no holds barred, forever climbing into other people's homes, rummaging through their chests, making a mess of everything..."
"What the hell do you know? Climbing into people's homes to dig through chests for weapons, gear, and elixirs is the romance of an RPG... And besides, I said steady, sure, ruthless. Arresting the wrong person — how is that steady or sure? It only proves your own incompetence." Sun Lang opened the lock, pushed the door, and turned back to Zhang Yinluo. "Your conduct and ideas are a bit pedantic, but you've the dumb luck of a dumb soul. Constable, as master of this house, I invite you in."
"Dumb luck of a dumb soul?" Zhang Yinluo protested loudly as she followed him in. "What's that supposed to mean?!"
"It means..." Sun Lang clasped his hands behind his back, tipped up his head, and launched into a flex. "Sun is of the view," he said placidly, "that there is nothing in this world that cannot be done, so long as you can bear the consequences. But the greater the power, the greater the respons— pah, to hell with responsibility. What I mean is, the greater the power, the more you must learn to restrain yourself, to draw a bottom line for yourself. Otherwise sooner or later you swell up, think yourself omnipotent, think all living things are clay chickens and pottery dogs, and turn into a cold-blooded, deranged idiot pervert. The bottom line Sun draws for himself is this: in word and deed, always leave a margin of three parts, and give the other side a sliver of life."
"So today I had a flex that didn't come off, and I don't feel too disappointed. They stumbled by sheer luck onto the margin I left them, seized that sliver of life — count them lucky." Sun Lang raised a hand and pointed carelessly at several spots in the courtyard and the house. "When I'm idle, I set traps and hidden weapons at a few key chokepoints here. But I leave a margin of three parts — I post warning signs and pictures at the locations of those traps, very sincerely urging visitors not to court their own deaths, in the most heartfelt of tones. Everything I could do, I've done. If some ill-meaning sort really does climb the wall, confident in his own great skill, meaning to take something that isn't his or do something disrespectful of a citizen's privacy — pull it off and that's his talent, but die for it and he's only himself to blame... He brought it on himself."
Zhang Yinluo was a little alarmed and uncertain. "Then..."
"That's why I said you've the dumb luck of a dumb soul." Sun Lang smiled. "Not bad luck at all, lady detective."