Sun Lang and Zhang Yinluo walked down the main street, the former smiling very happily.
Though she had no idea what the man was grinning about, the head constable still sensed, with a woman's intuition, the subtle malice in his smile. "...What are you smirking at?"
Sun Lang smiled. "Ah, just now, while you were away, I held a peaceful negotiation and exchange with a friendly fellow, and reached a very harmonious and important agreement with him. So I'm feeling rather pleased."
Zhang Yinluo studied him a while, then said sourly, "...Weirdo."
"Speaking of weirdos, you look more the part..." Sun Lang eyed Zhang Yinluo sidelong. The girl wore a black trench coat, its high collar shielding half her face, the broad coat cinched at the waist to trace a trim figure, wrapping her high bust and long legs beneath, with only the slender black heels of her boots showing past the hem. The exaggerated black ensemble lent her whole bearing a capable, cold edge. "Somehow you're even more conspicuous than in the constable's uniform... Forget it, forget it. But — do you have chuunibyou? What's with this getup?"
Zhang Yinluo blinked, then put on a you-bumpkin look and said in the most natural tone, "This is where your ignorance shows. I studied abroad in the Blazing Theocracy. A lot of foreign women favor this style of dress, and I often wore this outfit overseas. Abroad, everyone takes such attire for granted — you're the only one making a fuss."
"...Bullshit." Sun Lang narrowed his eyes. "This is plainly the purifier's coat of the Blazing Cult's Inquisition, the standard uniform of a battle-nun. An empire heretic like you has no business joining the Cult. And 'often wore it abroad'? If you dared parade around in this over in Russki country, within two hours, tops, armed Flame Angels would drop out of the sky, beat you black and blue, haul you off to the local tribunal on charges of impersonating clergy, and gang-rice you — and 'take it for granted,' my foot. The Russkis of the Blazing Theocracy would take one look at this coat and run as far and fast as they could, like they'd seen a T-rex... You chuunibyou brat. You thought it looked cool and were so envious you had a set tailored back home to wear in secret, didn't you? Can't even spin a lie without leaving tracks."
"..."
"..."
"..."
Bam — the girl's face flushed crimson at a visible rate. One can imagine her inner shame-meter blowing past its limit at exponential speed. To have her maiden's heart, her hobby, and her lie mercilessly exposed — by someone, especially this someone — left her shame and fury no less than if her parents had caught her with a certain unmentionable, peculiar book hidden under her bed.
Then she erupted, leaping and shrieking like a cat with its tail trodden on. "All right, all right, all right! So I saw a coat this cool and felt envious, is that not allowed? I just wanted to wear it, is that not allowed? Why should only battle-nuns get to wear clothes this dashing?! Even if my dad doesn't like it and my mom calls it ugly and the maids don't get it and my superiors won't permit it — I just want to wear it! What's the problem with wearing it a little while the chance is here?! How does my outfit wrong you in any way?! And what disease is chuunibyou anyway?! You're the one with a disease!"
After venting a while, Zhang Yinluo caught her breath and calmed down, then glared at Sun Lang. "...How do you know this is a battle-nun's uniform? Have you been to the Departing-Fire Nation too?"
Sun Lang rolled his eyes. "Never been."
The head constable plainly didn't believe him. "The Inquisition's inquisitors are rarely even seen by the common folk of the Blazing Theocracy, let alone foreigners. If you've never been there, how would you recognize the Inquisition's battle-nuns?"
The errant said haughtily, "I've fought a hundred battles and seen plenty!"
"Not one word of truth!" Zhang Yinluo shot him a resentful look. "Anyway, stop fixating on trivia! Get on with the work!"
"Fine, fine, you're busty, so I'll do as you say." Sun Lang nodded and held up a finger. "In that case, let me lay out the plan of action. First, we find out which outfit Qin Yu runs with for her living, then go straight to her turf, find her direct boss or her contact or some such, and ask after Qin Yu's whole situation. Like whether she's come back, what jobs she's taken lately, who she's clashed with, which big shot on the street wants to cut some shady up-the-ass deal with her, whether she's taken money she shouldn't have, offended someone she shouldn't have..."
Zhang Yinluo frowned at one of those subtle phrasings, then said with some disappointment, "That's your plan? It sounds nice, but it's far too unrealistic. Those underworld types are all wary and cunning — how would we interrogate anything useful out of them? Even if they knew Qin Yu's whereabouts and circumstances, they'd never tell us... If they answered every question, the Six Gates wouldn't have such a hard time solving cases."
"That's because your hands and feet are bound by law and regulation..." Sun Lang smiled warmly. "But I have special conversational techniques that can surely move the other party to answer every question."
In half a day's company, Zhang Yinluo had already grasped this brute's nature, and she glared at him. "What are you planning? Don't do anything reckless!"
"That depends on how you define reckless." Sun Lang said easily. "Little lady, since you chose to ask me for help, it means you've conceded that the constables and the authorities are helpless and out of options here, and that only the power of an errant can solve it. And to borrow an errant's power means an errant will naturally use an errant's methods. The difference between us and you is precisely the flexibility and variety of our means. If you can't accept even this much, then take the Startled Swan Sword back and solve it yourself. Otherwise — to prevent clashes down the line from differing principles, I'll have to set a few articles of ground rules with you. We both go by the ground rules."
Zhang Yinluo hesitated a moment, then sighed helplessly at last. "...Let's hear them."
Sun Lang raised his first finger and said gravely, "Point one: you may not obstruct or interfere with my methods and means... But I can likewise promise you, I won't go killing people carelessly, and I'll do my best not to leave anyone with injuries that won't heal."
But not injuries of the soul, he added inwardly.
Zhang Yinluo thought it over — true enough — and gave a grudging nod. "Agreed in principle. But you can't go too far! I won't obstruct you in principle, but I reserve the right to protest and negotiate!"
"Fine, suit yourself."
You won't get the choice when the time comes.
"Point two: since you've come to me for help, then in what follows I take the lead, and you heed my command. I grant you the right to question and challenge and to protest and demand answers afterward — but once you've accepted an order, you carry it out with everything you've got... Of course, in consideration of your own safety, when a matter touches your dignity and personal safety I'll allow you a degree of latitude, though the odds of that coming up are slim."
The head constable mulled it over. The guy really had thought it through, even if she still had an instinctive distrust of him... She gritted her teeth. "Agreed in principle."
"Then, point three — the most, most, most, most, most, most important point of all." Sun Lang drew a deep breath, his expression turning subtle with a touch of faint melancholy. "This one, you must obey."
It's... what? Zhang Yinluo's heart beat faster, curious and hesitant. What demand? Could it be something terribly hard to say aloud? From the look of him it must be very hard to accept. Hmph — if this guy says anything outrageous, I absolutely will not comply! I can't let him lead me by the nose; I must stay vigilant and keep my own will!
"And that is... at any time, in any place, under any circumstance, please, by all means, definitely, certainly, without fail, absolutely..." Sun Lang's expression was graver than ever before. "...keep a certain distance from me, and make no physical contact with me to any degree whatsoever. Remember this, whatever you do, and see that you do it. Understand?"
"..."
Zhang Yinluo half-thought she was hearing things.
"I understood it, and it seems easy enough to do, but..." She gazed at Sun Lang's facing-a-mortal-enemy you-absolutely-must-stay-away-from-me look. "...somehow I feel my dignity as a woman has just suffered a very rude injury..."
Then she blew up. "What's that supposed to mean, hey?! I'd love nothing more than to keep my distance from you, but what's with that phrasing?! Am I really so awful? Do you loathe me that much? That's far too rude a way to put it. I'm not an idiot, and I won't infect you into being an idiot — what exactly do you mean?!"
"You've misunderstood me..." Sun Lang sighed. "It's not your fault, it's mine... In short, you absolutely must not make physical contact with me, or the consequences will be severe..."
He thought a moment, then earnestly added one more line. "Don't say you weren't warned..."