Zhang Jianyuan's day, it must be said, had been full of flavor.
Some heaven-cursed somebody had thrown a jar of golden juice down from the roof — no telling how long it had been brewed — and it burst in midair in the main hall, foul water spraying, fluids running everywhere, playing by no rulebook at all. There'd been several incense-lords and hall members in the hall at the time, none weak in martial skill, but caught off guard they'd all fallen prey to it and were drenched in the reek. Stinking the thing was, but mercifully nonpoisonous — it only made people sick, so everyone was left in a state of mental blankout, the violent assault on every sense driving them to bolt on animal instinct toward open, airy ground to breathe and wash...
And then he'd been nabbed dead-on by an enemy who'd been ready and waiting.
Now he was trussed up tight with a rope and carried in the hand of that heaven-cursed shit-flinging bastard like half a side of pork, the man sprinting through houses and back lanes. Behind came the shouts and pursuit of his subordinates, along with the alarmed cries and curses — and stifled laughter — of the neighbors along the street. Picture it: a mob of saber-and-spear-waving swordsmen reeking of shit, some with mystery substance still on their faces — however hoarsely they shouted, however ferocious they acted, the menace was extremely limited. If anything, they carried a richly pungent comic flavor that made one wonder just what the man they were chasing had done.
As a senior steward of Xiuchun Hall, Zhang Jianyuan was naturally unwilling to be taken so meekly. He ate this rice for a living, after all, and though he no longer needed to do the work himself these days, he hadn't let his old skills lapse — and he had three life-saving traps and hidden weapons stashed on him. The moment he spotted his chance, he'd give these two bastards a vicious one...
His body slowly tensed, ready to strike at any moment. But the next instant, a pain bloomed at his brow — a thick, hard great cudgel seemed to be pressing his head. Zhang Jianyuan looked up, dazed, to find a pitch-black gun barrel aimed at his skull, and looking higher still, met the man's mild eyes behind that strange mask... He blanked for a moment, then dropped his gaze, meek and unconcerned, and turned his head aside.
Just then he heard another woman — in shamelessly barbarian foreign garb, yet with an astonishingly fine figure — say in a fluster, "This was your plan? Better to just storm in!"
Right, right! In that moment Steward Zhang's stance aligned perfectly with the woman's... If you wanted to deal with me, couldn't you have just stormed in? Did you have to use this honorless method?!
"How can you be so cruel and savage, woman?" The man carrying him retorted at once. "Storm right in? Have a little compassion, would you! Sure, they're a pack of dirty-money petty thieves, villains who kill and steal and spy and frame and do every filthy job there is — but they're people too! Who hasn't got a father and mother, a wife and kids? If you broke their arms and legs and beat them into idiots, who'd feed their families?"
"...You!" The woman shook with fury. "When did I ever say I'd cripple them?! Isn't it you who's been doing outrageous things from the very start?!"
Zhang Jianyuan was just pondering the curious relationship between these two kidnappers when his body suddenly went light, and he flew through the air and crashed to the ground, sliding in a Wild-Geese-Descending-on-the-Sands pose all the way to a wall corner. Looking around in a daze, he found this was an abandoned courtyard; his subordinates wouldn't catch up here for a good while... Then he watched the man who'd seized him walk over and raise a hand to take off the mask.
"Don't take it off!" Zhang Jianyuan and Zhang Yinluo cried out at the same moment. The Xiuchun Hall steward even squeezed his eyes shut tight and turned his head aside.
Zhang Jianyuan thought: grass-mud-horse, if I see your face and learn what you look like, I'm a dead man — you'll definitely silence me.
Zhang Yinluo thought: this guy is surely planning to let him see his face, then release him, so he'll nurse a grudge, gather men for revenge, and then you can beat them up again for fun... what a bored, shameless wretch!
Sun Lang was startled by the two near-simultaneous shouts. He'd lifted the mask halfway; now he promptly put it back on, stepped two paces closer, and said warmly, "Aiya, my goodness, brother, you really do have a flavor on you, what happened? Don't wash your hands after a shit? Not that I'm saying anything..."
This man... how utterly shameless! Surely a tough, hard-to-handle character!
Even Zhang Jianyuan, who'd seen the world, hadn't met anyone this shameless in a long time. And a man who is shameless and capable at once is surely the most troublesome creature in the world, because you can't begin to guess what card he'll play... On that reasoning, a chill rose in his heart, and he said dully, "Friend, this round I've lost. Name your terms."
Then he heard the man say to his female companion, "See? See that? In no time at all, easy and pleasant, we've reached a consensus on peaceful dialogue and friendly exchange. This friend is a man who knows the score. Isn't it simple? Much better than you storming straight in, no? Remember, we are civilized people — we have a sense of shame, we have principles. Even with an enemy, an interrogation must go by the ground rules, must respect human rights. So rein in those little schemes of yours. I understand, you're dying to know what happens when a man who's eaten a catty of aphrodisiac is locked in a sealed room with a male dog that's eaten a catty of aphrodisiac, but you mustn't do that, get it?"
Zhang Jianyuan sucked in a cold breath, his gaze at Zhang Yinluo full of grief, indignation, and dread — this woman, is she a pervert?!
The head constable leapt up in a rage. "I am not!"
"Yes, yes, you're not, you're not, I know you're a good girl, I'm just talking nonsense." To Zhang Jianyuan's ears, Sun Lang's laugh held a doting helplessness, as if indulging a willful girl — and so the thought this woman is terrifying took firm root in his heart, and his gaze at Zhang Yinluo grew warier and more horrified.
"Come, friend, sit properly, then talk. I'm very sorry it's come to this, but there was truly no help for it; a desperate measure, I hope you'll understand." Sun Lang crouched down, first smiling sheepishly, then rubbing his hands with a touch of apology on his face. "Because if we didn't use this method, she'd have stormed straight in... oh, sorry, misspoke — it's me, me, I'd have stormed in, I'd have stormed in..."
Zhang Yinluo could just about explode. In less than the time it takes to drink a cup of tea, Sun Lang had driven her reputation in Zhang Jianyuan's eyes all the way down to hostile — and she hadn't even an excuse to vent. The pent-up grievance churned in her to the very limit; she half-wanted to unleash the Royal Flame. The feeling showed on her face as sheer murderous air, which gave Zhang Jianyuan a jolt... so his gaze at Sun Lang turned all the more kindly and cooperative.
He said helplessly, "Friend, whatever questions you have, just ask. Whatever demands you have, just name them. No need to go fiddling with any implements."
Stockholm syndrome, racking up another merit — oh yeah.
Sun Lang silently flashed a victory-V in his heart, then made his expression all the more earnest. "I only want to ask you a few questions. But we figured if we just paid a call and asked, you surely wouldn't tell the truth — and if you didn't tell the truth, my hot-tempered companion... misspoke, the hot-tempered me would surely not let it rest, and a brawl or clash would easily erupt, which really wouldn't do. So we'd no choice but this desperate measure. My deepest apologies..."
He cupped his hands and said gravely, "Say what you will, in the end I've offended you, brother, and there's nothing more to say of it. Even if you take revenge afterward, that's only right and proper. What I've done, I'll answer for. If someday you feel sore about it, just come at me with everything; I, your brother, will take it all and settle the grudge. By jianghu rules, each meets his fate — outmatched in skill, you die without complaint..."
So saying, he took off the gas mask and showed Zhang Jianyuan his face, saying placidly, "I'm Sun Lang, a mere errant, residing at..."
Zhang Jianyuan blinked, and what he saw in the man's eyes was only calm and candor. Plainly a man with such a gaze could never be a base creature; his upright soul and hero's breadth of heart left him open and aboveboard, blameless before heaven and earth. The Xiuchun Hall steward's eyes went hazy a moment, and he sighed softly, "Truly a fine, stout fellow..."
Don't believe him, hey! You'll regret it!
Zhang Yinluo wanted to say something, but Sun Lang shot her an unconcerned glance, and weighing all the various reasons, the head constable could only throw Zhang Jianyuan several meaningful looks, urging him to take the greatest care, the utmost caution — then, wearing a this-is-as-far-as-I-can-help-you-good-luck expression, she looked up at the sky.
This woman is threatening me not to make trouble for this man... what a terrifying look.
So thought Zhang Jianyuan.
"Then let's begin..." Sun Lang smiled faintly, then said abruptly, "Friend, we're looking for a woman named Qin Yu..."
In that instant, Zhang Jianyuan's pupils contracted sharply. Sun Lang, who'd been watching every shift of his expression all along, nodded. "So you do know something..."