The old man hesitated, wanting to speak but stopping, stopping then wanting to speak again, until finally, just as Shi Wuxie was about to bandage the wound himself, he hurried forward a few steps and stopped him. "My lord, allow me."Shi Wuxie nodded and handed the gauze to the physician.The old man gave Shi Wuxie a once-over and sighed inwardly.Then, looking at Chu Yunxi, his eyes filled with pity.A husband who knows nothing at all—how pitiful.The old man used clean cotton cloth to wipe the liquid from the wound, then applied the medicinal ointment.Chu Yunxi was puzzled: "Why did you wipe off that medicine just now?"Shi Wuxie suddenly understood: "So that's how it's used."Chu Yunxi caught on: "Apply it first, then wipe it off. Got it. That really doesn't hurt."The old man: …The old man finished bandaging Chu Yunxi, hesitated a moment, then leaned close to his ear and lowered his voice: "Madam, actually, that medicine is meant to be applied before… marital relations… it helps with lubrication and relaxation…"Shi Wuxie watched in confusion as the old man muttered in Chu Yunxi's ear. Chu Yunxi's expression grew darker and darker, until at last he ground his back teeth hard.Shi Wuxie looked puzzled.What did that physician say?The old man sat up straight and continued bandaging Chu Yunxi's neck, assuring him: "With this old man's medicine, Madam, I guarantee that henceforth your pleasures in the bedroom will be sweet as honey. Husband and wife will live in perfect harmony."Chu Yunxi stared at the physician darkly. "Where is your clinic?"The old man said with a smile: "Not far from the manor—Chunhui Clinic in Qingping Town."Chu Yunxi: "I'm reporting you."The old man: ?Chu Yunxi looked at Shi Wuxie and pointed at the old man, expressionless. "My lord, I want to report him for selling obscene items. Does your Court of Judicial Review handle that?"Shi Wuxie looked puzzled."What obscene items?"The old man's eyes went wide, and he waved his hands frantically: "Innocent—no, I mean, Your Honor, justice! Mine is a perfectly legitimate business! What obscene items? Those are bona fide family-planning products! Madam, don't repay kindness with ingratitude and slander me!"Protesting all the while, he packed up his medicine chest, paid no mind to Chu Yunxi's still-unfinished neck bandage, picked up his case, and headed for the door.Grumbling under his breath: "What rotten luck, running into such a bizarre pair."Shi Wuxie watched the old physician storm out in a huff and asked, puzzled: "The wound isn't finished being bandaged."The old man didn't turn around: "Bandage it yourself! This old man can't afford to serve you."Shi Wuxie added: "Your fee."The old man had already reached the outer room; at these words, he pivoted on his heel, came back, and held out his palm, saying stiffly: "Payment, please. One tael of silver."The Countess, waiting in the outer room, hurried forward to pay first, and even pressed a pouch into his hand along with some flattering words, finally coaxing the old man into finishing Chu Yunxi's bandaging before personally seeing him out the door.By then it was already late. The Countess advised: "The young master is injured and shouldn't endure a bumpy ride. Why not stay the night at the manor? It will make caring for him easier."Shi Wuxie glanced at the darkening sky and agreed. "Thank you, Madam."The Countess then gave orders for dinner to be prepared.Chu Yunxi looked at the little white porcelain bottle on the small table beside the bed, recalling the physician's knowing, "you-know-what-I-mean" instructions whispered in his ear.This thing… wasn't it just ancient-era lubricant?So it really was a family-planning product.His face darkened instantly, but before long, it slowly flushed red.In the end, as if possessed, he swiftly tucked that little bottle silently into his own sleeve.For him to use? Impossible.For the little madman…The moment that thought popped up, the flush on his face began to spread rapidly, burning all the way to his ears and neck.Ill-timed fragments of memory surfaced in his mind.On horseback, the person in his arms jostling against him with every bump…His expression froze, and he slid limply downward, until even half his head was buried in the quilt.Shi Wuxie thought he was tired, so he said, "Get some rest. When the medicine is done brewing, remember to get up and drink it."A muffled "Mm" came from inside the covers.Chu Yunxi thought in despair: It's over. I've been assimilated by this world.Just then, a guard hurried over and reported in a low voice, "My lord, we've caught him."Shi Wuxie immediately ordered, "Send more men. Escort him back to the Court of Judicial Review at once and keep him under strict guard. I'll be there shortly."He walked back to the bedside and instructed the bundle of quilts, "Stay and recuperate here at the estate. I'll be busy with the case these next few days and probably won't be able to come back—I'll be staying at the yamen. Once you're feeling better, I'll come for you."With that, he hurried out the door.Chu Yunxi had no time to respond. He poked his eyes out and watched the corner of that official's robe disappear through the doorway, his eyes darting about.Gone for several days? Perfect…Seven days later, the dungeons of the Court of Judicial Review.The air was thick with the moldy stench of rot and blood that had lingered for years.The innermost death cell was deep and dark, with only a palm-sized air vent high up. A few threads of daylight slanted in through the window, cutting the dark prison into stark contrasts of light and shadow.A figure in prisoner's garb sat curled against the base of the wall, completely swallowed by the shadows.A set of clear footsteps approached from far down the corridor, finally stopping outside the iron bars of the cell door.The prisoner raised his eyes and saw a crimson official's robe. Half the man was bathed in sunlight, while the other half was completely submerged in darkness.The half of his face lit by the sun was incomparably handsome; the other half was hidden in shadow, his expression unreadable.Like a contradiction of god and rakshasa, eerily unified in this single figure."Have you come to gloat?"Yan Li's voice was full of mockery."Don't get too pleased with yourself. The moment I entered this prison, Zhou Wang was as good as dead." He sneered. "Without his testimony, let's see what you have to charge me with!"Shi Wuxie did not answer. He simply tossed down a written confession."Lin Xiaoyao has confessed everything. She also handed over your personal seal and several letters in your own hand corresponding with the Northern Di. With witnesses and evidence all in place, you can't overturn this case."Yan Li crawled forward on his knees, his heavy shackles rattling loudly against the ground.He picked up the pages, and his pupils contracted violently at the sight of the testimony. His fingers trembling, he roared, "That bitch! I should have cut her throat back then!"As he spoke, he viciously tore the pages to shreds.Shi Wuxie watched him quietly and said coldly, "It's useless. What you're tearing is only a copied transcript. The originals and the seal are already before the Emperor."Yan Li raised his head and laughed hoarsely. "Before the Emperor? Hahaha! His Majesty is merely using you as a tool to warn me! My Yan family has served with distinction for generations. I've commanded the capital's defenses for years—my disciples and old connections are spread throughout the army!""My wife's family, the Qin clan, holds considerable weight at court and among the officials! If the Qin family wishes to protect themselves, they must protect me! At worst, His Majesty will merely strip me of my title and office. Heh… just you wait—I will rise again!"Shi Wuxie looked down at him from above. "Your wife, Madam Qin, earned merit for assisting in the pursuit of the culprit and has petitioned to divorce you. His Majesty has granted it.""The Qin family is one of unwavering loyalty. Why should they be buried alongside you?"Yan Li's expression changed, and he felt utterly absurd. "Divorce me? Ridiculous! How could she dare?!"Shi Wuxie cut him off: "Furthermore, those factions of yours at court have, ever since your imprisonment, been busy impeaching you for tyranny, corruption, and unleashing your servants to do violence. Memorials requesting your punishment have piled up like a mountain.""His Majesty has issued an edict personally: Yan Li, Jing’an Marquis, guilty of colluding with the enemy and committing treason, with conclusive evidence of his crimes. He is to be stripped of his title, his household confiscated, and his three clans exterminated.""Ex… exterminate… the three clans…" Yan Li swayed and slowly collapsed onto the ground, his face turning ashen.A deathly silence fell over the cell.After a long while, his unfocused pupils finally refocused. He suddenly rose and threw himself against the cell door, his voice suppressing a frantic probing. "This whole thing is a trap you set. You've had your eye on me all along, haven't you?""Yan Mingqing has been hiding in a farmhouse in the countryside for almost twenty years—how could my wife have suddenly discovered him?"As if he had grasped the key to it all, he staggered back several steps, pointing at Shi Wuxie with a trembling voice: "It was you… it was all you…""What grudge do you have against me?!"Shi Wuxie's face was half in light and half in shadow. He slowly lifted his eyelids and looked at Yan Li, saying not a word.Yan Li's eyes darted about rapidly as he muttered: "Did Chu Ji put you up to this? Impossible—he and I have always been on good terms…""Was it Minister Liu of the Ministry of War? The matter of his son back then…"Shi Wuxie remained silent."Or the old subordinates of Old General Qi? Do you want to overturn his case?"Shi Wuxie still said nothing."None of them?!" Yan Li's eyes nearly split with rage. He suddenly clutched his head, tearing at his own hair, his eyes whirling madly. "Then… could it be some noble in the palace?"Shi Wuxie's gaze was ice-cold. "Yan Li, you have committed countless evils in your life. I doubt you could even remember all the blood debts you owe."With that, he did not look at Yan Li's face, which had frozen instantly, twisted and mad.He simply turned around and walked back the way he had come, his figure gradually disappearing into the shadows of the prison corridor.Behind him came Yan Li's screams, filled with endless terror and unwillingness: "Who are you?!""WHO ARE YOU—!!"The carriage stopped outside the Court of Judicial Review.Shi Wuxie leaned against the carriage wall, his gaze drifting out the window to the bustling marketplace in the daylight. His face showed no expression.The Ghostly Shadow sat on the seat across from him, hollow eyes following his gaze outward.【He named so many enemies, yet the Shen family was not among them.】【He actually… doesn't remember the Shen family.】The Ghostly Shadow giggled, the laughter growing louder and louder.【In the eyes of these nobles, families like ours are probably no different from ants. Not even worthy of having names.】Shi Wuxie said nothing. He withdrew his gaze, took a leather-bound booklet from his robes, and opened it.His gaze lingered on the inked words on the first page—Jing’an Marquis, Yan Li.He picked up his brush and drew a striking crimson line through the name.Then he closed the booklet and said to the driver, "Go to the estate in the southern outskirts to pick someone up."The wheels creaked and rumbled as the carriage swayed its way toward the outskirts of the capital.At the manor.After a few days of recuperation, Chu Yunxi was so bored he was about to lose his mind.But any movement bigger than a small gesture pulled at his wounds, and ordinary exercise was out of the question. All he could do was lie on his back, doing leg lifts in utter boredom.A Shadow Guard appeared without a sound.The young man glanced around furtively before sneakily pulling a few books from his robe and setting them on the table."Young Master, the storybooks you asked me to buy."Chu Yunxi nodded, got up, walked over to the table, and casually picked one up to flip through.The books he'd asked the Shadow Guard to buy were all Nanfeng booklets.Since he had started questioning his own orientation, he'd decided to conduct a "scientific" study of what real Nanfeng actually looked like.Know yourself and know your enemy, and you will never be defeated. What if he wasn't even bent at all, and he'd simply been overthinking things?A young man in his prime, full of hot blood—getting a bit of a physical reaction now and then from close contact with the same sex was pretty normal, right?And even in the absolute worst case, suppose he really had been "mentally polluted"—couldn't he just figure out how the whole mechanism worked and reverse it?Heh.Nothing he couldn't handle.With that thought, he cheerfully turned the pages.But barely two pages in, his face darkened.With a snap, he shut the book.It burned his eyes.He flipped through the other volumes, each one more eye-searing than the last.The corners of his mouth twitched, and he looked up at the Shadow Guard. "Ying Si, what on earth did you buy?"Ying Si scratched his head. "The storybooks you ordered, Young Master.""I went especially to the most famous bookshop in town, and I picked out the color-printed ones—the ones with pictures!"He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "The shopkeeper asked what sort of thing I liked, and I didn't know, so I said a bit of everything—whatever looked good. So he wrapped up this lot for me, said they were the hottest sellers right now, guaranteed exciting!""Oh, right." Ying Si pulled out an exquisite wooden box and obsequiously presented it to Chu Yunxi. "The owner also said that if you look at them with this, it's even more immersive."Half in doubt, Chu Yunxi opened the box. Inside lay a jade carving a bit longer than a palm.Smooth lines, curves in all the right places. Like an excessively ornate… cucumber.Frowning, Chu Yunxi stared at the object for a long while, then looked up at Ying Si in bewilderment. "This is… what, exactly?""I… I don't know either, but I'd venture a guess…" Ying Si cleared his throat, and before he could even finish, his face was already half red. "This thing looks like… like a…"He went on "like-ing" for ages, too embarrassed to say it. Finally he shot a quick, meaningful glance at a certain part of his own body, then yanked his gaze away as if burned, his neck flushing crimson.Chu Yunxi caught on and snapped the box shut.Ying Si sheepishly scratched the back of his head, chuckled awkwardly, then rummaged through his bundle and clattered out a whole pile of objects, dumping them all on the table."And these—the shopkeeper recommended them too. I didn't know your tastes, Young Master, so I just… bought it all."Chu Yunxi stared at the "props" covering half the table, rubbing his throbbing temples.Did this guy buy out the entire shop?"Oh right!" Ying Si finally pulled out a small white porcelain vial. "The shopkeeper also said this needs to be used together with it—this is the Chunhui Medical Clinic's exclusive secret formula.""Your servant has no idea how to use it. Maybe Young Master would like to study it?"Chu Yunxi looked at the little porcelain vial—identical to the one the old man had sold to Little Madman.The corner of his eye twitched."Get out."Ying Si froze, letting out an "Eh?"He was about to leave, but hesitated, glancing back at his young master. Unable to hold back, he added, "Young Master, even though the Lord is away these days, you…"He swallowed the words "can't endure the loneliness." "But you should still take care of your health.""Too much of this sort of thing harms the body.""Get out.""If you don't get out right now, I'll report you to the Court of Judicial Review for distributing obscene materials!"Ying Si scrambled out the door.Once Ying Si was gone, Chu Yunxi looked at the stack of erotic storybooks, his eyes darting about. He casually picked one up and flipped it open.He deliberately turned to the explicit illustrations and stared at them for a while, his brow furrowing tighter and tighter.Finally, he closed his eyes.Still an eyesore.Yet somehow, he felt relieved.So he really was straight!He crossed his legs and hummed an off-key little tune. "To\~day is a\~ good day\~"Humming as he kept flipping through the storybook, the corners of his mouth curling up uncontrollably.He completely failed to notice a figure silently appearing behind him."What are you looking at?"Chu Yunxi went rigid all over, then mechanically turned his head, meeting Shi Wuxie's gaze face to face.He glanced at the table full of scattered adult products, then at the eye-searing storybook in his hand.Chu Yunxi: !!!
Chapter 18
My Cold-Faced Wife Wants to Kill Me Again