Xu Yan jolted awake from his dream, drenched in cold sweat.
He had dreamed again that Ji Ran was gone.
This dream had nearly become a nightmare haunting him for six years.
He slumped on the hospital bed, taking a long time to regain his composure. The glaring overhead light made it hard for him to tell whether it was day or night, until the thunderous snoring from the patient in the next bed gave him a sense of time.
He glanced at his phone: 3:30 a.m.
“What’s wrong?” Xu Yan followed the voice and noticed Ji Ran had set up a folding bed by the window, now sitting there with a tense expression, watching him.
Wait, why hasn’t he left yet?
“Why are you still here?” Xu Yan kept his voice low to avoid disturbing the patient next door, but it still carried a hint of impatience.
“I was worried.” Ji Ran’s voice was also low, even slightly magnetic, as if whispering right into Xu Yan’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine.
“Afraid I’d skip out on the bill? Not pay you?” Xu Yan couldn’t help asking after a moment of thought.
Hearing this, Ji Ran shifted slightly before falling silent.
Xu Yan frowned. Ji Ran sat across from him, expressionless and silent—this familiar coldness was exactly the same as in high school.
Fine, let’s add WeChat, transfer the money, and settle things with Ji Ran once and for all.
Xu Yan turned to grab his phone, opened his WeChat QR code, and held it out to Ji Ran.
“Scan me. I’ll add you and transfer the money.”
Once the money’s sent, I’ll block him, and we’ll go our separate ways. No more getting in each other’s way.
“Oh, okay.” Ji Ran quickly agreed, immediately opening WeChat, his fingers moving so fast they seemed to blur before Xu Yan’s eyes.
The moment they added each other, Xu Yan felt he’d been played.
Ji Ran had probably ignored him on purpose just to get his WeChat.
And Xu Yan always fell for the same trick.
“Your WeChat profile picture changed,” Ji Ran commented on his avatar.
Seriously, who keeps the same profile picture for six years?
“Yeah, it’s a British Shorthair my family has.” Xu Yan replied flatly.
He then looked up the official price of the phone Ji Ran had bought him and transferred the money.
Xu Yan had originally planned to replace the phone after leaving the hospital, but after checking it out just now… well, this phone’s performance isn’t bad. Maybe I’ll keep it for now.
“No need. It’s a gift for you.” Ji Ran refunded the transfer, stood up, and gently straightened the blanket that had slowly slipped off Xu Yan’s bed, tucking it back into place.
“A gift?”
A gift to commemorate his broken leg? Ji Ran really knows how to pick presents.
Xu Yan stared at Ji Ran and said sarcastically, “Stop pretending. Who wants your gift?”
He immediately resent the refunded money and opened Ji Ran’s WeChat, ready to block him. But the moment he noticed Ji Ran’s profile picture, Xu Yan’s fingers froze.
That avatar was still the same cold-faced, cute portrait from six years ago.
It was a custom drawing Xu Yan had painstakingly commissioned—a matching couple avatar of the two of them.
His was a cute, smiling profile with a playful expression, while Ji Ran’s was cold and serious.
Back then, Xu Yan had been thrilled with the result and pestered Ji Ran for a long time before he finally changed it. But looking at it now, it seemed… childish, even a bit cringey.
Why is Ji Ran still using it?
“Change your profile picture. It’s grating to look at.” Xu Yan’s tone was icy, his expression indifferent, but he forgot to block Ji Ran.
Yet as he spoke these words, Xu Yan’s pounding heart throbbed with wave after wave of pain. He actually didn’t want Ji Ran to change it, but his words came out harsh.
Why was he always saying one thing and meaning another?
“I won’t change it. You gave it to me.” Ji Ran’s eyes dimmed slightly as he lowered his head.
Xu Yan felt as if a pair of drooping dog ears had sprouted on Ji Ran’s head, like a… pitiful stray dog that had just found its owner, now afraid its master would throw away its beloved possession.
“And, you gave me many things before. I want to give them all back to you someday, so the phone is a gift. I still have a lot more…”
“Stop talking!” Xu Yan sharply cut off the long sentence Ji Ran had struggled to muster. “I’ll transfer the money to you. Get lost now.”
There was no future. He and Ji Ran absolutely could not have any future.
“Can’t you two sleep in the middle of the night? If you want to argue, go outside. I still need to sleep.” Xu Yan’s raised voice startled the man in the next bed awake. The man rolled over and shouted impatiently.
“Mm, sorry.” Ji Ran was the first to apologize.
Realizing his own voice had been too loud, Xu Yan muttered softly, “Sorry.”
The tense atmosphere between the two was instantly calmed by the man’s words.
Recalling his own demeanor just moments ago, Xu Yan couldn’t help but laugh at himself in frustration.
Why had he been so loud, so agitated? He should have calmly told Ji Ran to get lost.
“Xu Yan.” Ji Ran said softly.
Xu Yan didn’t respond. He turned and lay down, leaving his back to Ji Ran.
If he couldn’t drive him away, could he at least not look?
“Can I pursue you again?”
Thump, thump. Hidden under the covers, Xu Yan’s heartbeat gradually quickened. He told himself he absolutely must not be fooled by Ji Ran’s sweet talk this time, so he replied, “Whatever.”
“I need to rest.” As he spoke, Xu Yan wrapped the blanket tighter around himself.
“Rest well.”
Xu Yan stayed in the hospital for a full week, and Ji Ran kept him company the entire time. No matter how Xu Yan tried to drive him away, Ji Ran wouldn’t leave. Finally, Xu Yan gritted his teeth and asked, “Don’t you need to work?”
“No, I don’t.”
Xu Yan was left speechless by his reply. Hmm, perhaps Ji Ran didn’t need to hustle for a living.
“I’m being discharged today and going back to work. You can leave.” Xu Yan narrowed his eyes, his tone light but sounding almost threatening.
“Mm, I’ll take you.” As he spoke, Ji Ran naturally picked up the things Xu Yan had packed and smoothly pushed the wheelchair to the bedside.
“Shall I carry you down?” Ji Ran asked gently, his gaze tender.
The moment Xu Yan met Ji Ran’s eyes, he immediately turned his head away. He really couldn’t stand that look from Ji Ran.
So deeply affectionate and aggrieved, as if Xu Yan had wronged him.
“No need. I’ll have my assistant pick me up.” Xu Yan sat on the bed and called his assistant, whom he hadn’t contacted in a week.
Half an hour later.
Wang Li hurriedly arrived at the hospital. Pushing open the door to the ward his boss had sent him, he was shocked to see his boss… being carried into a wheelchair by a man!
Wang Li stood dumbfounded in place. As an assistant, his mind was racing at full speed, churning out countless solutions in a minute, but the final answer he arrived at was—better to step out.
So, Wang Li decisively turned and made a swift exit, intending to leave ample space for his boss and the other person.
“Wang Li!” Xu Yan called out helplessly, watching Wang Li come in only to leave again. He felt Wang Li was being a bit too presumptuous in his actions.
Wang Li wisely re-entered the hospital room.
Xu Yan pointed at the things Ji Ran was holding and said to Wang Li with a smile, “Take them.”
Oh, so the boss didn’t want his boyfriend to tire himself out.
Wang Li instantly understood, taking the items from Ji Ran’s hands and saying, “Bro, you rest. I’ll handle it.”
“Brother Xu, you got injured and didn’t even tell us?” Wang Li asked, puzzled.
“Too lazy.” Xu Yan rolled his eyes, then struggled to maneuver the wheelchair toward the elevator by turning its wheels with both hands. He glanced back at Wang Li and said, “Follow me.”
“Oh, okay, Brother Xu.”
As Xu Yan slowly turned the wheelchair’s wheels, Ji Ran stepped behind it and began pushing.
“Ji Ran, you should leave soon,” Xu Yan said, half-closing his eyes, feeling mentally exhausted.
After all, Ji Ran now saw Xu Yan as half-crippled and felt free to do as he pleased.
Rewind to the half-hour after Xu Yan had just called Wang Li.
Xu Yan only wanted to wait quietly for someone to arrive, but Ji Ran stubbornly insisted on escorting him downstairs.
After a tense standoff lasting over twenty minutes, the scene Wang Li had just witnessed unfolded.
Because Xu Yan had moved too vigorously, his still-healing leg began to ache sharply. Taking advantage of his distraction, Ji Ran lifted him into the wheelchair.
Originally, the lift had been quite measured, but it just had to be seen by Wang Li.
Xu Yan felt he needed to take a few more days off before returning to the studio.
Once they reached the underground parking lot, Wang Li loaded everything into the car and turned to ask the two behind him, “Brother Xu, straight to your place, right? And, brother, are you coming too?”
Xu Yan: “He’s not.”
Ji Ran: “I’m going.”
Xu Yan looked up at Ji Ran, confused. “Why are you going to my place?”
“Can’t I go to your place?” Ji Ran retorted, his eyes dimming. “I know I don’t even count as your friend now. I’ll just see you upstairs, and once you’re home, I’ll turn and leave. Okay?”
Xu Yan: “…”
Why did he feel like Ji Ran had gotten stranger with his words after six years apart?
“No,” Xu Yan replied, already halfway into the car. His other leg, encased in a cast, was still hanging outside. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he shifted it inside.
Witnessing all this, Wang Li felt as if he had stumbled upon a shocking piece of gossip.
Was the boss rejecting another fervent admirer?
“Wang Li, get in the car. Let’s go.”
“Okay, Brother Xu.” Wang Li walked past Ji Ran, who remained standing there, deftly folded the wheelchair, and placed it in the trunk. He then waved to Ji Ran. “We’re heading off, brother.”
Just as he was about to get into the car, Wang Li noticed Ji Ran’s despondent expression and couldn’t help but offer some comfort. “Brother, our boss has always been like this—really hard to pursue. He’s turned down plenty of people. You got off easy with a gentle rejection.”
After patting Ji Ran on the shoulder, Wang Li drove away.
On the way back, Xu Yan stared blankly out the window, not saying a word.
The jacaranda is blooming again. Scattered specks of blue-purple flowers peek out from the green leaves, waiting for someone to notice their full bloom.
He suddenly remembered the meaning of jacaranda flowers he had looked up long ago—waiting for love in despair, alone.
Just like how he waited for Ji Ran.
He waited for years.
But Ji Ran, no one stays in the same place forever. He won’t, and he hopes Ji Ran won’t either.