The newly placed meat sizzled softly on the grill, its fat dripping through the iron mesh and igniting small flickering flames that danced in Shen Huaiyun’s eyes.
Normally, there would have been plenty of topics to chat about during a meal, with any casual remark easily spiraling into laughter. But today, he simply ate his meat and vegetables, occasionally glancing at the videos playing on his phone.
Shen Tangmo didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent, grilling and serving the meat. It was only then he realized that, at some point, he was no longer the young man who could effortlessly steer conversations with his younger brother. It had been a long time since he’d played even a single round of cards with Huaiyun, and whenever he saw Huaiyun gaming, he couldn’t even recognize which game it was.
When Zhu Ji chatted and played games online with Huaiyun, both of them seemed so happy. It seems I’m turning into a silent and boring adult. He frowned slightly.
As the meat was about to run out in the awkward silence, Shen Tangmo picked up his phone and ordered a sea salt cheese dorayaki, wondering how to break the ice. Unexpectedly, the dessert arrived quickly, finally giving him an opening.
He reached out to take the small plate of sea salt cheese dorayaki from the server and placed it in front of Shen Huaiyun. “I just noticed they have desserts here. Want to try it? If it’s not good, I’ll eat it.”
Shen Huaiyun’s mind was still swirling with chaotic thoughts. He instinctively tried to respond, but his words betrayed his inner turmoil the moment he spoke. “Brother, you really don’t have to be so good to me.”
“Ahem, I mean, I’ll try it. It smells pretty good.”
Shen Tangmo couldn’t have missed the guilt Huaiyun tried to hide. For a moment, Huaiyun didn’t dare meet his gaze, picking up a fork to poke at the dessert on the plate.
But several bluish-purlish psychic tentacles slithered from under the table, wrapping around his calves. More followed, climbing upward, winding around his neck, and tugging at his hair, forcing him to look up.
“Look at me,” Shen Tangmo said with a complicated expression, leaning forward to meet Huaiyun’s eyes. “Is this what you were thinking about the whole time you were silent?”
Huaiyun didn’t speak, but his expression told the questioner everything.
“…” Shen Tangmo took a deep breath and retracted the psychic tentacles. “We need to have a proper talk when we get back.”
“And I want to be good to you. It has nothing to do with duty or obligation. I just want to do it.”
“I know.”
The young man’s expression didn’t seem to change, but he turned his attention back to the plate of sea salt cheese dorayaki.
The dorayaki, cut into four pieces, was filled with a thick layer of sea salt cheese and drizzled with honey.
He speared a piece and put it in his mouth. The salty-sweet blend was quite pleasant.
“It’s pretty good. Brother, have a piece too.”
On the way home, Shen Tangmo received a voice call from Zhu Ji, inviting him and Shen Huaiyun to his twenty-first birthday party.
“Six p.m. the day after tomorrow you two have to come!”
“Of course, of course, don’t worry.”
After hanging up, Shen Huaiyun thought back to the day of the young man beside him’s twenty-first birthday, when only he had been there to make a cake with him. He frowned slightly. “Was it too simple back then?”
They had already reached the entrance of their apartment building. Shen Tangmo stepped forward, using his phone’s NFC to unlock the access control, then pulled the door open and gestured for Huaiyun to enter first.
He waited for the youth to enter before releasing his grip and following, walking to the elevator and opening a map app to search for the gathering spot Zhu Ji had mentioned.
“Zhu Ji loves lively crowds, always calling a bunch of friends to hang out. The places he picks are always KTVs probably planning to hog the mic.” After confirming the route and setting up a schedule reminder, Shen Tangmo tilted his head to look at Shen Huaiyun. “But I just want to spend time with family, with you.”
The youth avoided his gaze, awkwardly rubbing the tip of his nose. “Yeah.”
He didn’t think he had changed much, so why did Huaiyun seem to not quite understand him lately? Standing inside the elevator, Shen Tangmo nervously pressed his index finger.
He seemed to be losing his grasp on Huaiyun’s thoughts too. Were they gradually drifting apart?
The elevator slowed its ascent, stopping at their floor. The doors slid open, and the two stepped out one after the other. This time, it was Shen Huaiyun who used his fingerprint to unlock the front door first.
Finally sinking into the soft sofa at home, Shen Tangmo took off his coat and set it aside, patting the cushion to signal Shen Huaiyun to join him.
There was some distance between them, but a bluish-purple psychic tentacle crept over and coiled around the youth’s little finger.
After hesitating for a few seconds, Shen Tangmo spoke first. “Earlier, I was on a call with Professor Lin. When I came out, I only heard that parasite’s final speculation that you were trying to use connections to land a job. Did he say something else before that?”
Shen Huaiyun’s fingers traced the edge of the sofa, slowly feeling the knitted texture of the fabric. “Yeah. Earlier, he questioned my abilities, saying I was a leech clinging to you and sucking your blood.”
Shen Tangmo clicked his tongue lightly, thinking he should have turned off the speakerphone later and let Professor Lin curse a bit more.
“Don’t listen to him. You’ve never done anything like sucking my blood.”
“But I really have been relying on you all along. When I was little, I’d always wake you up from nightmares, and I’d have episodes because of those dreams. Then there was a whole year of treatment, disrupting your original study and training schedule.”
He had been hanging his head, staring at the floor pattern, when a psychic tentacle suddenly shot out and smacked the back of his hand. Shen Huaiyun winced and pulled back his hand, looking up in confusion, only to get a light flick on the forehead from Shen Tangmo.
“Ouch!” He covered his forehead, seeing the mix of concern and frustration on the young man’s face.
“How old were you back then? If I had ignored a child curled up in fear and anxiety, what kind of person would I be?”
Shen Tangmo thought of the little Huaiyun from those days the one who would be triggered by a door closing, something falling, or a loud voice, hiding in a corner, pale-faced and tearful and mentally cursed Zhu Chong’s ancestors to high heaven.
I worked so hard to raise him! Who gave you the right to reset him!
“And that accident if you hadn’t charged forward and even reinjured yourself to split that aberrant in half, its self-destruction would have seriously wounded everyone present.” His expression turned serious as the psychic tentacle gently stroked Shen Huaiyun’s hand. “When you think about it, you practically saved my life. I’m repaying a debt neither of us owes the other anything.”
“Don’t take to heart what that kind of person says. Remember what I told you today, okay?”
Shen Huaiyun looked into his eyes, forcefully suppressing the churning emotions inside, and slowly nodded.
Shen Tangmo let out a sigh of relief and ruffled his hair vigorously.
He thought of the description he had seen in that deep blue notebook four years ago, always feeling that it must have been because of those dreams otherwise, how could a child raised in their family place themselves so low?
If it hadn’t been for that slip of the tongue back then, he didn’t know how much longer Shen Huaiyun would have kept these feelings bottled up, tormenting himself inside.
“By the way, could you let me see the content of those dreams you recorded?”
He sensed Shen Huaiyun’s spiritual energy fluctuate intensely for a moment upon hearing these words.
“Let me organize them a bit more. They’re still quite messy I wrote them down in fragments.”
This was an excuse. Four years had passed, and he had long since pieced together the threads of that life from the dreams. It was just that he didn’t want Shen Tangmo to see those stories stained with blood.
But he had always known the murmurs after waking up startled in the middle of the night, the whispered words during moments of stress. He was always there.
Shen Tangmo carefully sensed every fluctuation in Shen Huaiyun’s spiritual energy through his mental tendrils. He knew the young man was struggling. He didn’t want to push him and was about to say, “You can tell me whenever you’re ready,” when he saw the boy’s lips part slightly.
His voice was soft, light enough to be scattered by any evening breeze. Fortunately, the windows at home were closed, allowing his words to linger.
“Give me two days. I’ll sort everything out properly and then tell you.”
A warm hand covered his. “Alright. No rush. I’ll wait for you.”
The night was like silk, dyed in deep purple, cradling the bright moonlight. The evening breeze was just right, carrying fallen leaves in swirling dances, sending them to places a little farther away.