8
As we walked back to the beach house in silence, our clothes slowly drying, it was just me and Toop.
We had not encountered anyone else.
At first, my head was full of sharp words I had been holding back.
But after the series of kisses we had shared before having to part, my mind seemed to play only that moment on repeat.
Sitting by the waterfall earlier, my legs weak and my heart fluttering, all I could think was—we had kissed.
“Ah-choo.”
I blinked as the sneeze brought me back to my senses.
The kiss had been wonderful, but my condition was not great.
If I stayed in these damp clothes much longer, I would likely catch a cold.
Still, I was more worried about him—my husband, who had not yet answered whether he loved me or not.
And yet, how had I even dared to do what I did by the waterfall?
Looking back, my behavior could only be described as lovesick—hopelessly so.
“You’re- not going to shower and change?”
I asked nervously as Toop entered the house while I sat on a chair, my cheeks still flushed.
Deep down, I harbored a small hope that the kisses might have changed something between us.
But even if the kisses had been incredible, they probably meant nothing to his heart.
“Why don’t you get up?”
I faltered at his curt response.
His tone and expression were so different from when we had kissed.
I guessed he meant for me to shower first.
I wanted to insist he go ahead out of worry, but since he seemed set on it, I decided to go and get it over with quickly.
“You told me to get up—where are you going now?”
He followed me, his presence making me realize just how aware I was of him.
Stopping in front of the bathroom, I turned to ask him, but before I could get an answer, he stepped closer, making me take a step back.
“To shower.”
“But just now, you told me to—”
“Yes.”
He cut me off with a deadpan look and stepped into the bathroom, which had a ready-to-use shower stall.
Seeing this, I moved to leave, but he shut the door before I could.
“We’re showering together.”
“Huh? W-Wait, Mr. Toop—”
I stammered, my mouth agape, unable to keep up with his abrupt declaration.
Then, before I could process his words, he made me freeze in place.
Without further explanation, he began undressing in front of me.
I quickly turned away, my face burning.
Was he serious?
Were we really going to shower together?
Even though we had already shared physical intimacy several times—and just earlier kissed until I felt my lips were bruised—this was a first.
We had never showered together before. The source of this chapter is g.com.
“What are you standing around for?
Take off your clothes—or do you want me to help?”
“N-No, that won’t be necessary.”
I turned back to him in a fluster, hastily waving my hands in protest.
But instead of giving me space, Toop took a step closer.
I retreated instinctively, forgetting the door was already closed right behind me until my back pressed against it.
“We’ve already done everything else. We’ve kissed, too. Or are you embarrassed of me?”
I pressed my lips together, trembling as I looked up at him.
He had wrapped a towel around his waist.
“You’re doing this to get back at me for kissing you, aren’t you?”
“What?”
“Well-”
I hesitated, my eyes darting to his flawless face as he furrowed his brows.
“Well, we’d never kissed before, and that time I—I practically forced you since I was the one who leaned in first. Now you’re just teasing me. You’re trying to make my heart race for you on purpose, Toop. You don’t even love me, and yet you’re still—mmph.”
He kissed me again.
The husband who refused to admit if he was beginning to soften toward me—or love me even a little—kissed me.
He kissed me right as I accused him of using me.
His kisses came so urgently that I did not have time to turn away, and his lips pressed firmly against mine until I had to shut my eyes tightly.
His skilled tongue explored my mouth, making my feeble attempts to push him away useless as my hands clenched tightly.
I only came to my senses when he pulled back, and I realized my shirt was completely unbuttoned.
“You’ll catch a cold if you dawdle.”
“Can’t you ever say things nicely?”
I shot back, panting as I leaned against the bathroom door for support.
“Why did you have to—”
“—kiss you?”
he interrupted, smirking mischievously as he leaned closer, making me shrink back, eyes squeezed shut.
“It’s not so bad, is it?
You seemed to enjoy it.”
“I—”
Well, he was not wrong, but what did that have to do with anything just now?
“We’ve kissed for the first time now.
So why not shower together for the first time too?
And stop overthinking everything.
Didn’t I tell you?
If you have something to say, just say it.”
“As if you’d answer all my questions if I asked.”
“Anshan.”
I huffed and moved to another corner of the room to finish undressing.
The shirt no longer needed unbuttoning thanks to him, and I quickly shed my pants and underwear, embarrassment flooding as I showered.
Ready to get it done, I wrapped myself in a towel and stepped into the shower stall, turning on the water.
“Ah.”
The cold spray made me flinch, and I tried to step back, only for my bare back to press against his firm chest.
Startled, I instinctively moved forward again under the showerhead, the water gradually warming.
His warm hand settled on my shoulder, the heat seeping into my skin as he spoke in a tone no longer stern as before.
“What are you sulking about this time?”
If I ever develop emotional whiplash, I was blaming him. New chapters come out on g.com first.
“Anshan.”
He called me again, this time sliding his hand to squeeze my shoulder gently.
I stood under the cascading water, lips pressed together.
He often called me clueless, but I was not so naïve that I did not understand the implications of us showering together.
This was a bathroom, could he not at least stop to pick some other place.
He still had not answered my questions about whether he loved me or felt anything for me at all.
“Some things take time, Anshan.”
Perhaps my imagination had just run off again.
He did nothing more than squeeze my shoulder and say words that made me turn to face him despite myself.
“What did you say?”
He bent his head slightly, his lips moving as if to speak, but no words came.
Did he love me?
Did he feel something for me, even just a little?
He offered no answer, not even a hint of one.
And yet, I could not help but feel that something had shifted between us during our time on this island.
Undeniably were his lips and mine, and even our expressions had changed.
Just days ago, he accused me of constantly looking forlorn, while he himself had been sharp-tongued and hurting.
Today, he was still acting the same.
The road to love between us felt bleak, but I was good at convincing myself otherwise.
I had been wrong many times before, but I did not mind.
Even if the path to his love was faint and dim, I believed—deep down—that someday, Toop would love me, want me, and cherish both me and our child.
“You don’t have to repeat yourself. But you told me to be myself, right? Then from now on, I’ll keep asking you questions—just like today. Even if it annoys you or frustrates you, I—”
I trailed off, hesitating to finish my thought after saying so much.
“I’ll keep asking over and over until you admit—do you love me, even a little?”
My words were impulsive, but my heart trembled as I spoke, locking eyes with him.
He did not respond, which, in a way, was better than him snapping and crushing my resolve.
I had married him because I wanted him to love me.
I wanted him to be my first and only love.
But if, in the end, that was not meant to be—if we could not make it work together—then perhaps I would give up if I was spent.
And yet, for now, nothing was certain.“Let’s- let’s just take a shower,”
I said, turning toward the wall.
I stepped into the shower stall, letting the stream of water wash over my face.
He followed after, but instead of standing beside me, he pressed himself against my back, wrapping his arms around me as the warm water cascaded over both of us.
“Mr. Toop.”
“You said to shower together, didn’t you?
So here I am, showering right beside you.”
“But this is-”
This was not showering side by side.
This was showering with him pressed against my back.