For a moment we all stood there, dumbfounded as our brains tried to process what had just happened.
“LEEROY!” Aaron yelled as he ran. “JEEEENKINS!!!”
“How remarkably idiotic,” Marv said, clearly not getting the reference Aaron had made, not that his observation was any less true.
“Fuck, he just ran in,” Matt observed, stating the obvious, though it was amusing because I knew he was in the boat as Marv.
I couldn’t help but responding appropriately as I rushed to follow. “Stick to the plan!”
Lynn giggled as she surged forward with me. A moment later Mary, Matt, and Marv followed. Marv quickly caught up to me and Lynn, then he passed us.
CLAY: Marv, protect Aaron from himself, please.
MARV: Understood, My Lady.
Ahead of us, Aaron vanished around a corner with Marv following quickly behind.
When we rounded the corner, the first thing I noticed was a large man, with a flashing red bar above his head that was seriously depleted, struggling to hold off a group of people who looked like humans with alligator heads and tails. They were clearly just playing with him as they prodded him with several different pointy implements. While a larger one with an oversized meat cleaver stood behind them yelling out lines from the movie Deliverance. Off to the side, there was a small group of the alligator people playing music on crude instruments.
Aaron had just reached the first one and had his right fist, clad in his spiked gauntlet, raised to smash it in the head when all of the still living alligator people finally realized there was someone else there. As Aarons fist connected, I saw that this was one of the level 1 Crocodilian Yokels. Its head exploded as Aaron struck it, showering him with gore.
Marv thundered past Aaron trampling two more yokels, and goring a level 2 Crocodilian Bubba on his horn.
My minimap exploded with red dots as a large number of Crocodilians emerged from multiple makeshift shacks pieced together from sheet metal within the large chamber beyond the initial group. Luckily, most of them were level 1s and 2s, though there were a few level 3s and 4s as well.
CLAY: Marv, be careful, there are a lot more of those things that just appeared.
MARV: I see them, My Lady.
Marv quickly reared up, skidding to a halt before he moved more than a few feet into the chamber.
“I must commend your commitment to authenticity, you dregs of the bayou, for you carry the profound aroma of a stagnant bog that has festered under a summer sun for a fortnight!” He roared, directing it into the large crowd that was rapidly approaching his location. A shockwave shot out in a tight cone, driving into the crowd and scattering them, tossing several into the air and health bars appeared over quite a few of them, though none were seriously hurt, likely due to the distance. The closest one, and the one hurt the worst, had been a good twenty feet away.
Aaron approached a level 3 Crocodilian Swamp Rat and attempted to repeat what he had done with the level 1, and while his blow did some damage, indicated by a health bar that appeared and immediately shank by a third of its length, it only appeared to piss the creature off.
I turned my attention to the crawler who was bleeding from multiple wounds and the health bar above his head was dangerously low. Not knowing what else to do, I popped a potion out of my inventory.
“Derrik! Catch!” I yelled as I finally got close enough to feel comfortably throw the bottle toward him, but my breasts jiggled dangerously and threw my aim off. Luckily, Derrik appeared to have good reflexes and he was able to dive and catch the potion. It vanished from his hands and his health suddenly started to raise.
Lynn charged past me, her saber drawn. She slashed toward a nearby group and a line of flame shot out following the arc of her blade, landing at the feet of the one closest to her, one of the Level 4 Crocodilian Butchers. It was immediately engulfed in flames and it let out an ear-piercing screech as it ignited way too easily, the flame coming off of it glowing an almost invisible blue. The others in the small group were driven back away from Derrik, giving him some space to stumble away as his health continued to climb. A level 1 attempted to intercept him, but three knives fanned out from Derrik's hand, striking the mob in the groin, middle of the chest, and in the mouth as it opened its mouth to shout something. It fell dead immediately.
I had thought the crude band of alligator people would have stopped playing their music, but the sudden burst of combat seemed to have inspired them to play louder. I drew the giant Fishbone Wand, not wanting to risk trying to summon my scepter, and swung it at a level 2 that was near me, cursing my breasts for causing me to overcommit on my swing, but it still struck true… and did almost no damage. The only reason I knew the wand did any damage is that its health bar appeared over its head.
The level 2 raised the spiked baseball bat it carried, and there was no way I would have time to dodge due to being off balance. Suddenly, there was a flash of sinister purple light and from its left collarbone to its right hip peeled away from the rest of its body in an arc of blood as its innards spilled out onto the ground. Matt rushed past, moving on to the next Crocodilian, another level 2, beyond the one he had cleaved in twain. He swung his scythe decapitating it and a nearby level 1 with one swing.
Mary appeared at my side and paused to steady me on my feet. Once she saw I had recovered enough to no longer be in danger of falling over, she released me. Aaron had taken a spear in the side but he clearly wasn’t feeling the damage, despite his health bar rapidly dropping, from the wound that was bleeding freely and he continually smashed his fist into the level 3, with each blow eating away at the mob’s health bar. Mary quickly cast Heal Party and we were all bathed in light green light. The wound in Aaron's side stopped gushing blood, and I instantly felt rejuvenated. The ache in my back vanished momentarily, making it easier to compensate for my altered balance. While this was happening, I noticed that the flames from Lynn’s wall of fire had spread and hit a patch of ground that also turned the orange flames blue and lead to them spreading rapidly toward a nearby building.
Seeing that my Fishbone Wand had been completely useless, I put it away and decided that I would have summon my scepter in order to not be a liability to my friends. I took a deep breath and a moment to prepare myself mentally for the absurdity that I was about to attempt.
Watching the chaos growing before me, I threw my right hand high while planting my left on my hip. I rotated my hips, sliding my right foot behind the left, my feet forming an inverted T. A sparkling glow surrounded me and for a moment my brain went blank before recalling the next step. I kicked off with my right foot, rotating on the left as I quickly pulled the right up to my left knee, forming a P with my legs as I spun. A spiral of pink energy surrounded me as I completed the rotation, and almost fell from the awkwardness of the movements. I dropped my right foot, squaring my feet and shoulders which gave me more stability as I dropped my right hand pointing toward a nearby level 4 Crocodilian.
“By the fluttering hearts of maidens pure, you shall be judged!” I shouted as loudly as I could, my voice cracking like a prepubescent teen.
The sparkles and energy swirling around me gathered around my right arm, then moved to my right hand where it coalesced in a bright ball of light that stretched into a rod and solidified. My Star-Maiden's Scepter of Judgment appeared in my hand.
At some point everyone currently fighting had stopped to stare at me. Even the band off to the side had stopped playing. All eyes were on me. Then, after a moment’s pause longer, everyone seemed to remember that they were in the middle of a fight and they resumed their battle after only missing a beat.
“Love Blossoming Spiral!” I shout with the wand still pointed at the level 4 and a concentrated beam of pink energy rockets out of the wand’s tip, surrounded by a spiraling wave of rose petals that followed the beam’s trajectory.
The beam punched through the level 4, exploding out its back and continued to travel on, ripping through a string of level 1s and 2s before eventually slamming into a wall and sprayed stone chips everywhere. Multiple crocodilians who were near to the path of the beam froze for a moment before blinking and turning around on their compatriots and attacking them.
New achievements briefly filled my vision before getting minimized into the system notifications folder as my shocked brain realized the damage I had just done.
The sudden betrayal from their friends, family, or whatever, threw the remaining crocodilians into complete disarray. One level 2 Bubba stared dumbly at the smoking hole through its companion before a nearby Yokel buried its pitchfork in the Bubba's side with a gleeful whoop.
"...What?" I muttered.
"Excellent! Self-improvement through introspection! I knew you ruffians had hidden potential!" Marv cheerfully called to the crocodilians that had turned to fight the others before driving both front hooves down onto the back of a level 3 Swamp Rat that had tried to climb onto him.
There was a sickening crunch, then it exploded in a shower of gore as a circular shockwave burst outward from the impact, rippling across the stone floor. Three nearby Yokels were knocked clean off their feet while another Bubba stumbled backward into Lynn's spreading fire with an alarmed yelp, and the hungry flames leapt onto him. He dropped the large clay jug he had been carrying and it shattered, the liquid inside immediately causing the flames to flare higher as they became an almost invisible blue.
"So that is what the horseshoes actually do…" I observed.
"I told you they were magnificent!" Marv declared proudly. “Like me!”
Matt never even slowed down. His scythe carved a lazy purple arc through another Yokel's neck before he reversed his swing, hooking the ankle of a second crocodilian that was approaching Marv from behind and pulling it face-first into the stone.
Before it could recover, Marv's rear hoof lashed out, catching it in the face.
CRACK!
"Much obliged, Sir Matthew," Marv said.
"My pleasure," Matt answered without missing a beat as he moved on to another.
Nearby, Aaron finally reduced the level 3 Swamp Rat to a bloody smear within a small crater that had formed from his pounding it into paste and immediately turned toward the nearest level 4 Butcher, pointing to it.
"Let’s dance!” he shouted happily to it, a maniacal grin filling his face before bursting into cackling laughter. He charged.
"That's... that's the opposite of the emotion you should be feeling!" I yelled at him.
The Butcher answered by charging straight at him with its oversized cleaver raised high and the two met with a thunderous crash. The impact rang through the chamber like someone had struck an anvil as Aaron's gauntlet met the Butcher's cleaver.
For one impossible second neither gave an inch, then Aaron's grin widened.
"Oh... you're a strong one,” he said through clenched teeth.
The Butcher snarled and shoved forward, forcing Aaron back half a step before bringing its free fist around toward his head.
"Aaron!" Mary shouted.
He ducked under it almost by accident and drove his spiked fist into the creature's stomach. It folded slightly but didn't go down, instead it answered with a headbutt that snapped Aaron's head backward. Blood sprayed from Aaron’s nose, causing his health bar to dip, and he laughed again.
"He's enjoying this way too much," I muttered to no one in particular.
A tremendous crash sounded from somewhere to my left and I turned instinctively to see what had happened.
One of the burning shacks had exploded in a blue fireball, sending a shower of flaming boards all around. The blue fire spread unnaturally fast wherever it touched, racing across puddles of clear liquid that glistened between the buildings. Several crocodilians who had escaped Lynn's flames only moments earlier suddenly found themselves trapped behind a wall of blue fire.
The musicians hurriedly scooted farther back, dragging their battered instruments with them before immediately resuming their terrible rendition of whatever song they had been playing.
I blinked in surprise.
"They're still playing?" I asked out loud.
I risked a quick glance toward my red health bar and noticed that a blue MP bar had appeared beneath it when I had performed my attack. The bar had been reduced by roughly a third.
Okay, so maybe I can’t just fire magical death lasers every few seconds. Good to know.
A panicked yell drew my attention back to the fight.
Derrik had finally recovered enough to rejoin it in earnest.
He slid beneath the wild swing of a Yokel's club and buried a knife beneath its jaw in one smooth motion before immediately retreating again as two more rushed toward him. He wasn't pressing the attack; he was buying time.
The chamber had descended into complete chaos as the blue flames continued to spread from shack to shack, each new explosion sending another shower of burning debris into the air. Crocodilians fled from the fires just as often as they charged us, and more than one found itself cut down by Matt's sweeping scythe as it tried to escape.
Another explosion boomed somewhere behind me.
"Uh... Lynn?" I called over the noise.
"I didn't know they were storing moonshine!" she shouted back, sounding only slightly apologetic.
"Pray form an orderly queue! I assure you there is sufficient humiliation for each of you!" Marv touted as he barreled through another pair of Yokels, with one of the unfortunate creatures disappearing in another spray of gore beneath his iron-shod hooves.
CRACK!
The shockwave rippled outward, knocking another three crocodilians off their feet.
"My Lady!" Marv called. "I do believe I have discovered that stomping them is remarkably effective!"
"I see, Marv! Good boy!" I shouted back and immediately felt him swell with pride.
Aaron had finally reduced the Butcher to a bloody heap and was already searching for another target.
"Who's next?" he yelled happily while moving further away from the rest of us.
"Aaron!" Mary shouted. "Stay with the group!"
He either didn't hear her or chose not to.
Derrik stumbled over beside me, breathing hard.
"Thanks for the help earlier, " he managed between breaths. "I thought... thought I was done for."
"Save it," I said. "We can do introductions for after we get out of here."
The musicians stopped playing, not gradually, but all at once. Every crocodilian that was still standing suddenly turned toward the far end of the chamber, ignoring us even as we continued to cut them down.
Derrik's expression changed as every trace of exhaustion vanished beneath naked fear.
"...No," he whispered.
"What?" I asked, frowning.
His eyes weren't on the burning buildings and they weren't on the remaining crocodilians, they were fixed on a dark tunnel beyond the village.
His face went white.
“Get down!” he yelled suddenly.
Something enormous burst from the darkness, but I never actually saw it. I only saw the blur as it went flying by. A shape screaming through the air toward me fast enough to howl.
Derrik shoved me backward with everything he had and a shape tore through the space where I had been standing a heartbeat before. There was a wet tearing sound and something wet and hot splashed against me, followed by a deafening impact as an enormous rusty fan with four blades buried itself halfway into the stone wall behind me.
The entire chamber shook and for one impossible second everything went silent.