There was a wet thump behind me and I turned, my eyes tracing the taunt chain that was attached to the giant rusty fan back the way it had come. The first thing I noticed was a still-standing pair of legs attached to a torso that ended at the waist. Above that, there was only shredded flesh that reminded me of ground meat.
Two bloody arms lay nearby, one with part of a shoulder still attached while the other was severed just above the elbow. There was no sign of a head.
It took my brain a second to put the pieces together.
Derrick.
Bile rose in the back of my throat.
Slowly, I continued to follow the chain with my eyes, and saw that the blades of the fan had also killed multiple of the crocodilians as well. The chain stretched into the darkness on the far side of the chamber. My friends had luckily avoided being hit by the blades and were standing to the side in silent shock, several of the enemies they had been fighting were victims of the attack that came out of nowhere.
The chain trembled, then shook violently, and behind my I heard a screeching sound. I looked back and saw the huge fan dislodge itself from the wall with a shrill cry and it was jerked back to its point of origin, the wind from its passing ruffled my skirt and whipped my twin tails around.
Right as the fan disappeared into the darkness, there were two huge explosions, one of each side of the tunnel where the blade had come from. Illuminated in the light of the two balls of fire was the largest Crocodilian I think I had seen yet. He had to be at least sixteen feet tall, and was wearing a filthy pair of overalls that were unhooked on one side. As the fan thunked home in his outstretched hand, he cried out in a thunderous voice…
"Saaaaaouis! Look lak meat, it on de menu, cher!" he yelled in a thick creole accent.
Then he froze, mouth still open from his call. We froze too, only able to look around with our eyes as, in large flashing letters, the words…
BOSS BATTLE!
You have discovered the lair of a neighborhood boss!
I hope everyone is prepared because your time is now! LET’S GO!!!
…appeared in the center of my vision, accompanied by that stupid air horn sound effect that everyone was obsessed over using a few years back.
New Achievement: Bayou-Hazard!
You have stumbled upon your first real boss and now he is out for your blood to avenge all of his siblings/lovers that you just mercilessly exterminated. You really shouldn’t have done that, it was extremely rude, and now you have to pay the piper.
Reward: Let’s see how the next few minutes go before we think about any rewards, ‘kay?
Stills of mine and my friend’s faces, as they currently were, flashed up on the left half of my vision, our names and levels listed underneath each portrait. I had apparently gone up to level 2 at some point while all of my other friends were at level 3, with the exception of Mary, who was still level 1.
MATT: Wtf? Why can’t we move?
MARV: I do believe introductions are in order.
CLAY: Will you two chill and just be prepared to dodge any attack when we can move again?
MARY: Matt, I’m scared.
MATT: Don’t worry, Baby. I’ll protect you.
AARON: This is going to be fun! :D
LYNN: Aaron, shut the fuck up!
Then, beside our portraits a large VS appeared, and a portrait of the giant Crocodilian appeared which his name and level underneath as the sound of a twangy guitar started to play in the room.
Bayou Billy!
Level 9 Neighborhood Boss!
In the Louisiana swamps there are all kinds of cryptid legends, Bayou Billy isn’t one of them, though he should have been. Standing sixteen feet tall on thick, muscular hind legs, this scaled nightmare looks like a prehistoric apex predator that survived on a diet of pure rage and homemade moonshine. A pungent stench of stagnant swamp water, rotting catfish, and cheap copper-distilled moonshine accompanies him and is guaranteed to hit your nostrils before he even moves. He’s all about kicking ass and drinking shine, unfortunately for you, he’s all out of shine!
The music picked up to a rousing crescendo, full of banjos, washboards, and people blowing on jugs… and suddenly the world, and us, unfroze.
Billy, now suddenly free from the invisible bonds that were holding him whipped his fan out once again, this time at Marv who was the closest to him. Mary pointed her staff at him and a silver glow reached out to envelope my horse.
MARY: Don’t move, Marv!
A second later, the giant fan blade slammed into Marv’s side, still spinning in midair as a shower of sparks sprayed all around from the metal of the fan meeting Marv’s armor. The fan didn’t stop pushing or spinning though and I saw the ground beneath his hooves start to crack. His health bar was rapidly shrinking as well little by little as each individual blade hit. Suddenly, his health popped to full before starting to fall again.
"You present yourself as a roaring lion, yet you offer nothing but pigeon-livered drivel! Is that all the spleen you possess?" Marv roared at Billy as he stood perfectly still while we closed in.
MARV: Not to alarm you, My Lady, but it appears in combat I have a timer on how often I can use potions.
There were only a few lower-level Crocodilians left at this point and, as we made our way toward Billy while he was occupied with Marv; Lynn, Matt, and Aaron quickly dispatched them, leaving only us and Billy.
CLAY: Mary, be ready to heal Marv, please!
MARY: Don’t worry, girl, I’ve got this. I’ll take care of you, Marv. :)
CLAY: Thx
MARV: Much appreciated, Lady Mary. Don’t worry about me, My Lady. I’m in good hands.
Suddenly the stone beneath Marv gave way, his hooves still attached to the stone, but the stone was no longer attached to the surrounding rock. He went flying backward, the fan arced upward and hit the ceiling about him before crashing down on to him, forming a pile of crumpled Marv, rusty fan, and a tangle of chain. Marv’s health bar was dangerously low and he didn’t appear to be moving.
CLAY: Mary, if you can, cast Strong Foundation on him again, then heal him.
She rushed to his side and, once reaching him, paused and gave me a queer look before nodding and did what I asked. Once again, silver light locked his now prone form into place, then a green glow surrounded him as I and the rest of my friends felt the healing energy of Heal Party. I saw Marv’s health bar start to climb again though he still remained motionless. The chain that was attached to the fan pulled taut, but, as I had hoped, where it was tangled around Marv’s collapsed form, it didn’t budge an inch.
After a couple more attempts to retrieve his fan, Billy threw the chain to the ground in disgust and pulled a giant outboard motor off of his back that I hadn’t noticed earlier.
"Ha! You lock up dat fan, but dere's more dan one way to clear a swamp, boy! Dat’s right!" Billy yelled.
Aaron was closing in as the huge alligator-headed man ripped on the pull-cord, bringing its motor roaring to life. Aaron launched himself through the air like a bullet, striking Billy on the jaw hard enough to make his health bar appear, but doing little else.
Billy answered by revving the outboard to a deafening scream and swinging it like a club. The spinning propeller caught Aaron as he landed.
There was a spray of blood and something tumbled end over end across the stone floor.
The rest of the blow slammed heavily into Aaron's chest, launching him into a nearby wall hard enough to crack the stone before he crumpled into a heap. The health bar above his head dropped low for a moment before beginning to climb again. Aaron must have managed to pop a potion right before impact.
Matt quickly approached on Billy’s left, and took a swing at the arm holding the outboard motor but Billy’s thick tail whipped around and deflected Matt’s glowing scythe, throwing his swing wide. The tip of the blade struck the stone floor and became stuck. Matt wrestled with it for a moment then had to duck as Billy swung the huge motor at his head.
While he was distracted with Matt, Lynn fired off a small fireball that hit the crocodilian in the head, causing his hide to blister. That did more damage than Aaron’s punch had done, moving the visible health bar down a small notch. Looking at it, there was still way too much left.
We need to think about how to get out of here and regroup.
I looked around and saw that the tunnel we had entered through was now blocked by a large pair of metal doors with two chains stretching across them from either side of the door frame, effectively blocking off the way we had come. Beyond Billy, there had been a tunnel but it was blocked off in a similar fashion. We were locked in this chamber with no way out. Just him and us.
CLAY: Umm, guys… Have any of you noticed the fact that we are locked into the room?
MATT: What?
LYNN: It happened while they were doing the boss introduction.
Lynn had reached Billy and swung at him, similar to the attack Matt had done, only when Billy used his tail to deflect, she changed the angle of the blade to meet the tail, cutting into it deeply as she triggered her Wall of Flame directly focused on the spot her blade had cut through. Billy roared in pain as his health bar took another small hit as the flames whispered along his tail. Billy whipped his damaged tail back and forth, in an attempt to put out the flames burning it as he turned to meet her head
Matt finally got the tip of his scythe to come free of the stone as Billy turned and I raised my scepter to point at the huge boss.
“Love Blossoming Spiral!” I shouted with all my heart, hoping beyond hope that I could do more damage with my only real attack.
A larger beam of pink energy fired off from the tip of my wand, speeding toward Billy. His head turned in time to see the attack coming and he moved to dodge but not fast enough. The beam, a full foot thick, struck him in the shoulder, the same one with the overall strap undone, and annihilated everything it touched. His right arm fell uselessly by his side, held on only by a thin strip of flesh. His health bar fell by a full quarter. Behind him, the beam slammed into the huge metal doors with a resounding clang, denting them slightly.
“Holy shit!” I yelled in shock at the damage my attack had done.
"Foute, muh'arm! Espèce de salop, you gonna pay for dat with your blood!" he yowled, his beady eyes glaring hatefully at me as he turned to face me head-on, ignoring Lynn.
“Huge mistake!” Lynn said, driving her saber into his side.
Matt swung his scythe at Billy's tail, lopping it off.
Billy stumbled forward with a roar as his balance shifted from the loss of his tail, and between Matt's strike and Lynn's saber, his health bar dropped by another quarter.
MARV: Ugh. What happened?
CLAY: MARV! You’re ok!
MARV: Aye, My Lady, though I feel as though I were hit by a truck.
MARY: Damned near close too it. Don’t move, by the way, you are keeping that fan blade trapped.
MARV: Understood, Lady Mary.
Billy took a stumbling step towards me as he swung the outboard motor towards Lynn with his still functioning arm. She couldn’t dodge fast enough and it clipped her on the shoulder, tossing her in the air and spinning her rapidly as she flew back several feet. She hit the floor with a sickening crunch and her health bar dropped by half.
“LYNN!!!” I screamed
LYNN: Fuck! That hurt!
Another wave of green light enveloped myself and all my friends as Mary cast Heal Party again.
MARY: Hope that helps.
Off to the side I saw Aaron rising from where he had been laying. He had a maniacal gleam in his eyes as he stood, using his remaining arm to brace on the wall as he stood. Suddenly he charged forward, striking Matt with a backhand as he flew past. Matt collapsed like a sack of potatoes and didn’t rise again, though his health was still over halfway full after the blow.
“The fuck are you doing?” I yelled at him but got no response.
Aaron charged forward toward Billy and leapt high in the air, slamming into Billys back, knocking him to the ground face first. He crawled up to Billy’s head before he could stand back up and proceeded to punch the crocodilian repeatedly in the back of the head, grunting with each blow and tearing small chucks of flesh free with each strike. Billy’s remaining health started dropping rapidly in small increments with each blow.
Billy roared in fury as Aaron's fist crashed into the back of his skull again.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Each impact drove his snout harder into the stone floor, cracks spiderwebbing outward beneath his face.
With a roar, the huge crocodilian suddenly twisted violently and Aaron was thrown free, rolling across the floor before springing back to his feet with an inhuman snarl.
Billy staggered upright while he had the chance. His remaining arm hung low, gripping the outboard motor with white-knuckled determination. Blood poured from the ruined shoulder where my attack had nearly severed the other. Flames still licked along his hide, and where his tail had once been, blood poured freely onto the stone.
His health bar was nearly gone, and yet he smiled a wide, blood-soaked grin that spread across his reptilian face.
"Oh..." he rasped. “Now y'all done made muh mad, yeah."
He yanked something from the pocket of his filthy overalls.
It was a large cloudy mason jar that had somehow not broken yet.
Before I could shout a warning, he bit the lid off with his teeth and swallowed the entire thing in one long gulp, some of the liquid flowing out of the corners of his mouth. Where the liquid met the flames burning across his scales, they flared to a brilliant blue.
"Oh, hell..." I whispered.
The blue flames raced across Billy's scales until they covered almost his entire body. He rolled his shoulders once and let out a satisfied sigh. His health bar had stopped dropping, then it began creeping upward.
"Seriously?" I groaned.
It wasn't climbing quickly, but it was climbing.
“Dat's da good stuff, cher!” Billy howled in glee.
Before anyone could react, he lurched toward Aaron with surprising speed. The outboard motor screamed as he swung it in a wide arc and Aaron met him head-on.
Aaron’s gauntlet crashed into the motor and for an instant they held that pose, right at the point of contact. Then Billy simply overpowered him.
Aaron was hurled sideways like a rag doll, skipping across the stone floor before smashing into one of the burning shacks hard enough to collapse half of it on top of him.
"Shit!" Lynn said as she pushed herself upright, one arm hanging uselessly. she stumbled back into a fighting stance.
Matt still hadn't moved and Marv was still trapped. Mary was already lifting her staff again presumably to let off another healing spell though I knew her mana had to be running low at this point.
That left me as the only one still in fighting shape.
Billy's remaining yellow eye locked onto me.
"Now..." he growled, lowering his head, "...you."
He charged. Every instinct screamed at me to run, to get away from this meaty equivalent of a freight train.
Instead, I planted my feet.
I looked to my MP bar and confirmed that I had just 5 MP remaining. It was just enough for one more cast. One more chance.
I raised my scepter with both hands.
"If this doesn't work..." I swallowed. "I'm so unbelievably screwed."
Billy roared as he closed the last twenty feet.
Ten.
Five.
Three.
"Love Blossoming Spiral!" I yelled, pointing the scepter at him.
The beam erupted from the tip of my scepter just as Billy swung the outboard.
The pink beam and the spinning propeller collided with a thunderous boom and for one impossible heartbeat they pushed against each other… then the propeller shattered. The beam bored through the ruined motor, through Billy's chest, and continued out his back in an explosion of pink light and rose petals.
Billy froze.
His remaining eye blinked once, then the outboard slipped from his fingers.
He looked down at the smoking hole through his chest.
"...Dat..." he rasped, "ain't good."
The enormous crocodilian toppled backward.
The instant he struck the ground, the blue flames consuming his body erupted briefly then collapsing inward with a deafening WHUMP and all that was left was a smoldering corpse.
For several long seconds everything went silent and no one moved.
Then...
Victory!
…Flashed in my vision and a colorful fanfare played though out the room.