I took a moment to look at the tunnel ahead and it looked fairly empty so I opened the notifications folder which had four new sub-folders that hadn't been there before. The first was labeled System Messages, the second was Skill Up Notifications, the third was Level Up Notifications, and the fourth was New/Updated Achievements. I clicked on the New/Updated Achievements sub-folder.
New Achievement: Dance Dance Revolution!
You didn't just summon your magical scepter; you put on a whole show! Your friends were out there fighting for their goddamn lives, and you were in the corner doing a little twirl, screaming a catchphrase, and posing like a lunatic just to get your weapon out of your jewelry. To your credit, you didn't trip over your own feet, which is honestly a miracle. I give it a 7.5 out of 10. The crocodilians give it a 0, mostly because you blasted them with a sparkly pink death ray immediately afterward.
Reward: Silver Magical Girl Box!
New Achievement: All Eyes on Me!
Oh, mama! The tension! The drama! You performed your weapon summons so flawlessly that you commanded the entire room. Every single eye, crawler and monster alike, was glued to you. For two glorious seconds, the entire universe revolved around you and your little twirl. The Syndicate loves a star, and you, baby, you’ve got the crowd in the palm of your hand. Don't ever make them look away.
Reward: Gold Adventurer Box!
New Achievement: Against All Odds!
Most crawlers see a Dexterity curse and wisely decide not to attempt interpretive dance. You, however, you decide to perform a highly complex, flawlessly timed routine. You literally spite-danced your way through a curse. I would be upset right now if I weren’t so darned impressed. Absolutely fabulous!
Reward: Bronze Color Me Impressed Box!
I rolled my eyes at the first three achievements that I got from performing one action. Honestly, it was a bit overboard. I moved on to the next…
New Achievement: Weapon of Mass Death-struction!
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." Except instead of a giant metal bomb, it's a girl in a short skirt waving a glowy stick. In just one single, devastating attack, you vaporized 14 mobs, and that’s not even counting the survivors you charmed into brutally slaughtering their own friends and family with your weapon's secondary effect! It is a good thing you didn't hit one of your teammates too, because friendly fire is very much enabled. Don't blow up your friends, kid. They're the only ones left to clap for you in the end.
Reward: Gold Explosives Box!
Wait. I killed 14 mobs with attack? I only noticed a five or six at most.
I shook my head in disbelief.
There is no way.
“What is it, Clay?” Lynn asked from behind me. “You just started shaking your head.”
Marv paused for a moment and turned his head slightly as if trying to get a look at us on his back.
MARV: Are you ok, My Lady? You don’t seem to be upset but Lady Lynn’s question seems to indicate that you might be.
CLAY: I’m ok, Marv, just saw something in an achievement that surprised me.
MARV: Very well, My Lady.
I repeated to Lynn what I had said to Marv.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what was it?” she questioned.
“According to this achievement I killed fourteen crocodilians with that first Love Blossoming Spiral attack.” I answered. “I don’t remember seeing that many get hit by it.”
“I remember you hit quite a few, I am not sure about the actual number but there were at least ten,” she told me. “There were some that just vanished after being hit with your attack, maybe that is why the number feels off for you?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” I replied.
I moved on to the next achievement.
New Achievement: Moving on Up!
Congratulations, you have gained enough experience by murdering enough mobs to level up! Some of those mobs probably had families back home eagerly awaiting their return. Thanks to your homicidal tendencies, those poor souls will spend the rest of their lives wondering what happened to Mommy or Daddy.
Reward: Nothing. You gained a level and that sense of self fulfilment you have from doing a job well done should be enough.
Way to fucking guilt trip me, there, Ai Sky Daddy.
I sighed, trying to not make it too obvious. I tabbed the remaining achievement down to look at the tunnel ahead and compare it with my now filled in map. If we make the next left and then the second right, we should be able to see the Safe Room at the end of the corridor. I was looking forward to arriving there because I was exhausted and hungry.
I looked around at my friends who were on foot and saw Aaron with a somewhat shellshocked look on his face, stumbling along. Occasionally he would start to lean slightly to the side with his remaining arm, before catching himself and straightening back up. A moment later, he caught me looking at and his expression darkened as he made a point to not look in my direction.
When I looked toward Matt and Mary, I saw that he had an arm around her shoulders and she had one around his waist. She was leaning on him as they walked and he would occasionally bend his neck and kiss the top of her head. The scene would be really sweet if Matt didn’t still have bits of dried blood and gore splattered on his cloths.
My tummy gave a loud grumble of protest about not having been fed.
Oh, wait! I have those crawler biscuits.
I pulled one out of my inventory and looked at it. It kind of resembled hard tack only shaped like a dog biscuit.
Crawler Biscuit
This barely edible biscuit is packed with everything a growing crawler needs to avoid malnutrition when in the wilds of the dungeon, unable to get to a safe room for a hot meal. If you have enough, you can even build a durable shelter with them in a pinch.
I eyed the biscuit warily in my hand for a moment before trying to take a bite of it. I think I would have had more luck trying to bite off a piece of brick. Not only was the biscuit hard as diamonds, from the little taste I got from my attempt I was reminded of that one time when my father was teaching me how to use a chainsaw and I had my mouth open like an idiot and a strong gust of wind blew some sawdust on my mouth. It was truly awful stuff.
With another sigh, I added the biscuit back to my inventory and enlarged the remaining achievements to continue reading them.
New Achievement: White Knight Syndrome!
You came to another crawler’s aid in their time of need, intent on pulling them out of the fire that they had placed themselves in. Not only did you put your life on the line, you put the lives of all your party members on the line as well, and the crawler you were attempting to save? They died anyway. Congratulations, kid, you accomplished nothing and almost got yourself killed.
Reward: White Knighting Box!
I wasn’t going to give you anything for your act of stupidity, but then I got to thinking. I think you’ll fit right in with the other holier than thou, self-righteous bitches in “that” club, so you’re welcome.
Updated Achievement: Bayou-Hazard!
You have stumbled upon your first real boss and now he is out for your blood to avenge all of his siblings/lovers that you just mercilessly exterminated. You really shouldn’t have done that, it was extremely rude, and now you have to pay the piper.
Reward: Let’s see how the next few minutes go before we think about any rewards, ‘kay? Bronze Boss Box x2 and a Gold Star!
Would you look at that. You actually managed to kill Billy. Not only that, you got the killing blow in. Congratulations! Now, just like in elementary school, you get a Gold Star.
New Achievement: Aggro Magnet!
Congratulations! You have successfully drawn the full, undivided attention of a berserking ally. Most people spend their lives trying to make friends. You apparently prefer making yourself look deliciously punchable. Fortunately for you, he collapsed before demonstrating why anger management classes exist.
Reward: You remain gloriously un-punched. Try not to push your luck, I would hate to see that lovely face ruined.
That reminded me that we would need to do something to neutralize Aaron should he lose control again. Thinking back to the item description of his gauntlet, that effect would only kick in after he took a specific amount of damage though what that amount was, it didn’t say, and the only way to get him out of it was to prevent him from striking anything for thirty seconds.
We could just try to avoid him if that effect happened again, but there were a couple of issues with that. First, we would have to be ready to flee while in the middle of fighting in case he went crazy again, which was not really practical. Second, Aaron was fast and could out run all of us. Luckily, it seemed that once someone went down, he would ignore them, so maybe we could just play dead, but again, in the middle of a fight, but that carried its own risks and wasn't much better than trying to outrun him.
We could try to bind him till he calmed down, but again, that was not a practical solution and was riskier than trying to play keep away or playing dead.
No, the best solution would be to convince him to not used the gauntlet until we could find a way to neutralize that effect of it, assuming that were possible. I made a mental note to talk to Matt about it in private because out of all of us, he would have the best chance of restraining Aaron if needed because he was the next strongest after Aaron when it came to us guys. Also, I hoped that he might be able to come up with a better solution than any that I had thought up.
I moved on to the final achievement.
New Achievement: Blue Screen!
Congratulations! Your brain has encountered an unexpected error and has been forced to shut down to prevent further damage. Have you tried turning yourself off and back on again? Oh... you did.
Reward: Bronze Self-care Box!
Just kick me while I’m already down, why don’t you?
I sighed and closed the window before I could dwell on the circumstances that led to that last achievement. At some point I would need to go through the other items I got from the deceased crawlers. Some of it should be buried with them, like the letter from Linda to who I assumed was Ashley.
I’m not a religious guy, and I have never really believed in a heaven or a hell. Once you’re dead, you’re dead and if the living could benefit the gear left behind by you upon your death, then they should have it. Ashley wouldn’t care either way at this point, but that didn’t mean I should be a disrespectful asshole.
We continued to move forward in relative silence for several minutes, minus the scuff of a shoe on the floor and Marv’s thunderous clomping.
CLAY: If you need Lynn and I to get off, just let us know, Marv. We both have functional feet.
MARV: It is no problem for one such as me to bear the burden that is your magnificence, My Lady. And the Lady Lynn has earned her spot by supporting you when you were unable to support yourself.
CLAY: Okay, buddy. Just, if we get to be too much of a burden, let us know and we’ll walk.
MARV: You are never a burden, My Lady.
I sigh again and look ahead. In the distance I can see the next turn that we need to make but there is a group of what looks to be little people congregating at the intersection. I looked on my map and saw that they were almost all red with a couple of white one scattered amongst the field of red dots.
As we drew closer, I could see that their skin was green and several had huge warts. Most of them were wearing armor of a sort, though it was all constructed of cookware, by the looks of it. Several of them had weapons drawn but, as we got closer, one of them issued a barking order and the ones with weapons drawn sheathed them.
One who was taller than the rest and covered with a multitude of piercings, separated from the group and strode in our direction, stopping thirty feet away from the group she was with and she stood there waiting for us to approach with her arms crossed. Unlike the other creatures who all either had black hair, were bald, or were wearing pots on their heads as helmets, she had hair that was a brilliant red. Unlike the slipshod armor the others were wearing, she wore a simple brown robe with several bones sewn into designs that decorated it.
Our group stopped warily twenty feet away from the little woman that, a quick examination revealed was named Riki and she was a Goblin Shaman, level 6.
I leaned towards Marv’s head, stroking the side of his neck soothingly.
“Keep Lynn safe, Marv.” I whispered into his ear. “I’ll go see what they want.”
Marv nodded his head once, letting me know he understood.
I placed a hand on Lynn’s leg and squeezed softly.
“I’ll be right back.” I said to her before speaking a little louder from my friends to hear. “I’m going to go talk to that Goblin over there and see what they want. I get the feeling they want to fight about as much as we do. Stand by just in case though.”
I hopped down and walked forward until I was just a few feet away from Riki. Up close, she was actually kind of cute. Her skin didn’t have the obvious blemishes that the others in her group had, and she had a full figure telling me that despite her smaller size, she was definitely an adult.
She squinted at me, then blinked, rubbed her eyes, and opened them wide as if seeing me for the first time, which I guess was technically true.
“Oy, pretty lady, you seen a large group of Llamas back the way you came from?” She asked in a surprisingly singsong voice that was made rough only by her accent. “They have red beady eyes and spit lava when pissed off, and they’ll most like have tried to sell you some high-quality meth. Seen anything like that?”
I shook my head.
“No, but we did have a run in with some moonshine swilling crocodilians back a ways,” I said.
Her eye widened even further.
“Are they still there?” she asked.
Again, I shook my head.
“No, they attacked us and we fought. We even had to kill their leader, Billy.” I explained.
“Wait, you killed Bayou Billy?” A look of profound respect shone in her eyes. “Heh, that means their territory is up for grabs. Thank you, pretty lady, we’ll get go now. We have to claim that land before to goddamn llamas do. I hope we meet again.”
She extended her hand and I grabbed it. With a tight squeeze and a shake, we parted ways and her group, now all white on my map, shuffled past, heading back the way we had come. Everyone except Aaron looked at me inquisitively and I explained that they were looking for a group of llamas and were moving on.
We started moving again, this time with me walking and Lynn still riding. Marv said it was okay with him when I asked, and that was good enough for me. We rounded the corner and, set in the far wall, there was a heavy wooden door with a sign above it that boldly read Sal’s Safe Room Bar and Grill.