Why did everyone in this absurd world have to be so ridiculously gorgeous?!
Even Callista herself wasn’t immune.
Whenever she caught her reflection in a polished mirror, she couldn’t help but give a low whistle and admire her own upgraded assets.
But the problem was that she was Callista now! This couldn’t turn into a tragic Narcissus reboot where she drowned because she spent too much time ogling her own face.
"Why so tense? What did the little creature even do?" Valerine asked, suddenly leaning down to eye level.
The sudden movement caused a very dramatic, physics-defying bounce - one that nearly made Callista’s eyes pop right out of their sockets.
"You’re standing too close," Corvina warned, her voice dropping into a register of pure, promise-of-pain danger.
"Aww, nobody else is allowed to pet your puppy?" Valerine teased, reaching out with a smirk. "I give excellent headpats."
Forget headpats.
Callista was currently staring directly into two magnificent, high-society pillows that looked soft enough to grant her eternal sleep.
Her brain completely short-circuited, her eyes locked into place like a deer staring into incoming high beams.
Beside them, Lyra calmly adjusted her spectacles, her violet eyes tracking Callista’s unblinking, shameless gaze with analytical disgust. "Her pupils are dilated. I believe your chest is causing her severe neurological distress, Lady Valerine."
"Is that so? How cute."
Abort mission!
Look away! Look at the floor! Look at literally anything else!
... Too late.
A suffocating, ice-cold aura flared up from right behind her.
Corvina’s hand clamped down on the back of Callista’s collar with the crushing force of a steel vise, wrenching her back from the threshold of paradise.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: APPROVAL RATING DROP] ╔════════════════════════════════════════════╗
Master: Corvina Rosenberg Approval Rating: -5% (Current: -25% / 80%)
Reason: Overtly ogling other women in public. ╚════════════════════════════════════════════╝
[SYSTEM WARNING: CRITICAL THRESHOLD] ╔════════════════════════════════════════════╗
WARNING: NEGATIVE APPROVAL TRAJECTORY
Current Standing: Severe Disfavor (-25%)
Failure to maintain a positive trajectory or falling below -30% will initiate Subjugation Penalty Protocols (e.g., Mana Restraint Collars, Forced Servitude Directives, or Summary Execution).
Recommending immediate damage control! ╚════════════════════════════════════════════╝
"F-Forgive me... Use me as much as you want," Callista stammered.
It was a desperate, humiliating pivot, but desperate times called for aggressive groveling.
Corvina took the invitation entirely too literally, transforming Callista into her personal, full-time errand goblin.
Day one was pure bureaucratic warfare. Corvina set Callista in a study with a stack of parchment four feet high, tasked with forging "anonymous tip letters" to undermine local noble rivals.
"Make sure Lord Vane’s letter mentions his secret obsession with imported lace handkerchiefs," Corvina said, lounging on a velvet chaise while sipping tea. "It ruins his military reputation without causing a single drop of blood."
I survived four years of corporate PR crisis management.I can write character assassinations in my sleep! But seriously, lace handkerchiefs?! This woman is a menace!
By day two, the absurd assignments escalated into actual academic sabotage.
She was ordered to infiltrate the high-society alchemy wing and swap out the luxury mana-stabilizing salts with powdered, non-toxic chalk.
"Why chalk?" Callista whispered, crouching behind a marble pillar as the elite alchemy class walked in.
"Because watching Valerine’s potion turn into bright pink, bubbling slime during her midterm evaluation brings me immense personal joy," Corvina replied casually through a long-distance telepathy rune.
The resulting explosion covered the entire vanguard heiress in neon-pink goo.
Callista had to bite her own hand to keep from laughing out loud, earning a sharp nod of approval from her master.
Next, she managed Corvina’s personal ledgers while simultaneously serving as her human armrest during a four-hour meeting with high-court tax assessors.
Whenever a tax collector tried to audit House Rosenberg’s shady mana-refining permits, Callista was ordered to look extremely intimidated, fake a sudden coughing fit, and "accidentally" spill dark berry juice over the exact line item being questioned.
"Oh no! My clumsiness knows no bounds! Forgive me, noble inspector!" Callista wailed, bowing frantically while scrubbing the parchment with a cloth, rendering the financial evidence completely illegible.
Corvina sighed dramatically for the inspectors’ benefit. "You see my struggle? She’s utterly useless. We’ll simply have to write off those permits as destroyed records."
I’m committing high-level tax fraud and academic terrorism.
As the third night fell, the long-awaited chiming sound rang through her skull, accompanied by a glowing golden screen.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: APPROVAL RATING INCREASE] ╔════════════════════════════════════════════╗
Master: Corvina Rosenberg Approval Rating: +30% (Current: +5% / 80%)
Reason: Exceptional performance in petty espionage, tax evasion, and public sabotage. ╚════════════════════════════════════════════╝
Callista collapsed onto the plush rug of Corvina’s private chambers, thoroughly exhausted, morally bankrupt, but officially out of the execution danger zone.
’How is this any different from my previous life actually?’