Underwear Announces the Good News
Whenever Lin Minghai returned home during his rest days, he would say that Tutor Zheng praised him for being clever and diligent in his studies. This led the entire family to mistakenly believe that he was a literary star descended to the mortal world. Old Madam Liu and the First Branch both dreamed of Lin Minghai passing the examination to become a xiucai, or even a juren.
However, in Lin Changsong’s memories, when he went to town to do odd jobs, he had occasionally overheard Tutor Zheng’s assessment of Lin Minghai. The tutor said that his aptitude was merely average, and that even passing as a tongsheng would be a struggle.
Of course, Lin Changsong would never go home and repeat such things. If he dared say that Old Madam Liu’s precious eldest grandson was no good, wouldn’t she skin him alive?
Old Madam Liu had high hopes for the First Branch’s two grandsons. Lin Minghai was already preparing for the imperial examinations, and she now planned to send Lin Mingjiang to the private school as well. Perhaps that was why Old Madam Liu had set her sights on the girls in the household.
Just think about it: all the male grandchildren of the First Branch had proper names, while the Second Branch had ended up with “Goudan.” They even claimed that a cheap name made a child easier to raise. Such unequal treatment was simply unbelievable.
The granddaughters were even worse. They were named in order, starting with Daya. In the village, if you called out “Daya” or “Erya,” ten people would turn around to answer you.
These past few days, the Old Lin household had been making such a racket that the villagers had gotten quite a show out of it.
Most people sympathized with the weak, however. Ever since word spread that Old Madam Liu had locked the Second Branch in the house and starved them for five days, everyone had gained a new understanding of just how ruthless she was.
It was only because Old Madam Liu had stayed at home these past few days that she had no idea what people outside were saying about her.
That morning, Lin Changsong was given a bowl of “dishwater” and a rock-hard wowotou. Wang Ya and the two children each received “dishwater” and half a wowotou.
In front of Lin Changdong and Lin Mingjiang, however, there was thin porridge, pickles, and one. single. egg!
The Old Lin household raised six laying hens. In this weather, they could gather four or five eggs a day. Apart from the eggs that Lin Changdong and Lin Mingjiang were allowed to eat, the rest were saved for their precious eldest grandson, Lin Minghai—either to send to the private school or to keep for him to eat when he came home.
Perhaps because she was dissatisfied with the Second Branch’s performance over the past few days, Old Madam Liu reassigned their chores starting that day.
Wang Ya was sent to wash clothes, Lin Xiaowei had to stay home and work, and Lin Minghao continued going up the mountain to gather firewood.
Of course, none of them intended to work properly. Causing trouble was simply their style.
Wang Ya carried the deathly heavy wooden basin to the river to wash clothes. Unlike before, when she had hidden in a corner to do the laundry, today she deliberately chose a crowded spot.
The woman in front of her was Auntie Zhang, the village’s number-one “propagandist”—and someone who was very much at odds with Old Madam Liu.
The moment she saw Wang Ya arrive, the gossiping fire in Auntie Zhang’s eyes blazed across the wilderness.
“Oh my, Chang Song’s wife, why are you the one washing clothes today?”
Wang Ya gave a “shy” smile, looking as though she wanted to say something but did not dare. Auntie Zhang grew terribly anxious.
She asked again, “I heard your mother-in-law is planning to sell Erya to raise money for Minghai’s expenses to travel for the examinations?”
The day the Old Lin household had erupted into chaos, word had spread that the Second Branch had been starved for several days and had nearly died. The Second Branch had then toughened up. Auntie Zhang had happened to return to her mother’s family’s home that day, and when she came back to the village and learned that she had missed such a spectacle, she had been so upset that she had slapped her thighs until they turned purple.
Wang Ya replied in a low voice, “No, Auntie Zhang, you heard wrong. Our Minghai is about to take the examinations. He’ll be a xiucai master in the future, and my Erya will be the sister of a xiucai. She’ll have more blessings than she can enjoy. Why would my mother-in-law sell her?”
…
Auntie Zhang: My ears aren’t malfunctioning, are they?
She glanced at the people before and behind her. Every one of them wore an expression that said, “What kind of nonsense did I just hear?”
Ignoring everyone’s indescribably complicated expressions, Wang Ya busied herself arranging the clothes in her hands for washing. Heavens above, there were even the elder brother-in-law’s underpants. He really had no shame!
“Second Brother’s wife, it’s not that I want to criticize you, but even if Minghai passes and becomes a xiucai, what would it have to do with your Second Branch or the Third Branch?” Auntie Zhang let out a mocking laugh. The other women also pricked up their ears to listen to what was happening.
Wang Ya began her performance. Her voice was neither loud nor soft, just loud enough for everyone nearby to hear.
“No! My mother-in-law said that it doesn’t matter if we suffer a little and work a little harder now. It’s all to save money to support Minghai’s studies! Once our Minghai passes as a xiucai, becomes a juren, and takes office as a high-ranking official…”
She deliberately paused there, her face glowing with longing. In reality, she was struggling not to laugh.
“Then our family will be glorious! Our Second Branch will be able to enjoy the benefits too!”
Auntie Zhang’s hands stopped in the middle of washing. She looked at Wang Ya as if she were an idiot.
“What kind of daydream are you having? That Liu skinflint is so biased she’s practically leaning into her armpit. If there were such good things to be had, would they ever reach your Second Branch?”
“They will, they will!” Wang Ya nodded vigorously, her expression “sincere” beyond belief. “My mother-in-law said so herself! She said Minghai is made for studying and will certainly make something of himself in the future. We’re all one family—how could he forget his uncles and aunts?
“When the time comes, perhaps Minghai can find his Second Uncle an easy job as a gatekeeper at the county office, set me up with a little shop in town, find our Erya a good marriage with someone from town, and even send our Goudan to school to learn how to read and write!”
The more she spoke, the more “excited” she became. She counted off the possibilities on her fingers.
“When that happens, we’ll be able to eat fine white flour every day and have meat at every meal. We’ll never have to eat bran and vegetables again! So what if we go hungry for a few meals and do a little work now? It’s worth it! It’s absolutely worth it!”
The women around them were dumbstruck. Some could not help snickering, while others wore sympathetic expressions.
Could Second Brother’s wife have gone mad from hunger? What an absurdly beautiful dream she was having.
Auntie Zhang laughed so hard that she pounded the stone washing slab.
“Oh, I’m dying! Wang, oh, Wang! Did your mother-in-law’s empty promises fill you up until you went stupid? She’s only fooling your Second Branch into working like oxen! Once her precious grandson really makes something of himself, the first thing he’ll do is kick you as far away as possible! Enjoy the good life? Go eat shit!”
Wang Ya immediately put on an expression that said, “You don’t understand,” and insisted, “She won’t! My mother-in-law isn’t that kind of person! My sister-in-law said so too—we’re all family and should help one another!”
Just as she was “arguing her case,” describing their “future plan for enjoying prosperity” in ever greater detail until Auntie Zhang and the others were left bewildered and nearly ready to believe the nonsense themselves, she said, “Once Minghai becomes an official, he can buy his Second Uncle a new pair of trousers, so he won’t have to wear these rags anymore.”
At the same time, she pretended to use too much force. Her hand slipped, and a gray, patched pair of underpants floated free. Like a little boat released into open water, it drifted and bobbed leisurely along with the current toward downstream.
“Oh no! Those are Elder Brother’s…” Wang Ya cried out in alarm and made as though to retrieve them.
Auntie Zhang, eager for the spectacle, grabbed her. Her voice rang out loudly, brimming with schadenfreude.
“Oh my! Look, everyone! Lin Changdong’s underpants have run away! They’re floating downstream! Are they in such a hurry to go to town and announce the good news to his son, the future xiucai master? Hahaha!”
That shout drew the attention of everyone washing clothes or working both upstream and downstream.
The pitiful pair of underpants bobbed up and down in the river. The conspicuous patch seemed to be waving to everyone, telling the story of its owner’s “glory.”
The riverbank instantly erupted in earth-shaking laughter!
“Hahaha! Lin Changdong’s underpants have become a spirit!”
“They couldn’t wait to go enjoy the good life ahead of time!”
“Quick, fish them out! They’ll be the underpants of a xiucai’s father someday—they’re valuable!”
“Valuable my ass! Can’t you see that the patch is bigger than the underpants? Hahaha!”