The next morning, my martial arts practice was interrupted by a knock at the door.
I ran over—were the exam results already here?
Throwing the door open, I saw two girls standing on the other side, wearing the standard Chunin…
or Jonin uniforms.
I couldn’t really tell the difference.
All I knew was that the flak jacket meant they outranked a Genin.
“May we come in?” asked the younger one, gently.
She was barely more than a teenager, standing out with long, dark-purple hair and somewhat pale skin.
Hmm, she reminded me of someone.
Let’s see, what does the nameplate say?
Oh, Yugao Uzuki.
The second girl was slightly younger.
She chose to remain silent, simply staring me down with piercing, light-blue eyes.
Honestly, they weren’t just blue—they were a violently bright blue, like someone had cranked the color saturation up to maximum.
Her blue hair was tied back in a ponytail.
Her skin was much darker…
no, not darker, more of a yellowish hue.
And her chest was significantly more impressive than Yugao’s.
“What do you want?” I asked, trying to sound polite.
Though, thanks to the “Cold Gaze” passive, I probably sounded like a cornered wolf cub snapping at them.
Man, I really cursed myself with that skill.
And how long was Yugao’s companion going to keep hypnotizing me?
Her nameplate actually just had question marks on it!
“We are here on the Hokage’s orders.” Whoa, right out of the gate.
What the hell could I have possibly done?
“Uh…
why?
Did I do something wrong?” I tried to ask peacefully, instinctively mimicking canon Naruto’s habit of scratching the back of his head.
But my eyes were ruining the whole act.
Why couldn’t this be an active skill?
I could just turn it off when I needed to, rather than constantly dealing with misunderstandings.
“No, quite the opposite.
The Hokage was absolutely staggered by your test results,” Yugao said, packing so much sarcasm into the word ‘staggered’ that it actually kind of hurt.
He probably was staggered.
Just not in the good way.
“…so much so that you are being enrolled in the Advanced Class, and you need to meet their standards.
We are here to help you achieve that by acting as your extracurricular tutors.” Well, that half-sounded like the truth.
Though it was more likely they were going to violently drag me kicking and screaming up to the level of that class.
Hmm.
It was still ambiguous.
There was clearly some string-pulling going on, but the vibe was mixed.
This didn’t exactly disprove my theory that Hiruzen was manipulating things, but I definitely wouldn’t call him a “kindly old grandpa” anymore.
He was just a standard politician with his own priorities.
“That is not entirely accurate.
We will not merely be tutors; we will be full-fledged mentors.
You have also been granted permission to relocate, and funds have been allocated for you to purchase a new apartment.
From this moment on, we will reside with you, taking charge of your education, upbringing, and overall improvement.” A helpful clarification, but could you please stop staring at me?!
Just look away for one second, you nameless kunoichi with the “Pseudo-ANBU Ne” class!
I didn’t know why she was a “Pseudo,” but there was zero doubt she belonged to Root.
“I understand.
Come in…
I guess.
What are you going to teach me?” Emulating childlike impatience came surprisingly easy.
My mental age was definitely getting chopped up.
I hadn’t regressed completely to the level of my body, but I was currently acting around twelve, with occasional spikes back up to sixteen or eighteen, and periodic dips down to the actual body’s age.
Yep, right down to canon Naruto’s level.
“Everything.
From calligraphy to various jutsu techniques,” Yugao answered calmly, looking around the apartment with mild interest.
“Therefore, you will now accompany me.
You will observe and memorize the proper procedure for acquiring real estate.
Watch carefully, as I will quiz you on what you comprehended from my actions afterward.” Man, this girl from Root really lacked emotion, which was to be expected.
It was honestly a miracle she had any at all.
“It is surprisingly clean in here,” Yugao noted, completely ignoring her “partner.” And just like that, I earned a whole percentage point with her…
and then the System wailed.
What now?
[Quest Alert: Practice Makes Perfect!] [Before facing the Goddess, one must practice on mere mortals.
So why not attempt to solve a complex equation involving age gaps?
How about a love triangle?
Or the classic teacher-student dynamic?
The high difficulty will help you “get your hand in” on impossible tasks, ensuring you don’t fall on your face when it’s time to deal with Kaguya herself.
Time Limit: Complete before graduation from the Academy.
Reward: Two devoted girls, the ability to glean intelligence on the actions of the “two big shots,” variable.
Bonus: If you max out all five hearts with both girls, a save point will be created.
In the event of a failure in the main quest, the next restart will return you to the moment of Academy graduation with all current stats intact.
Failure/Rejection Penalty: Deterioration of relations with the entire female population of Konohagakure.
Acquisition of the title “I will never get laid in this village.” Failing this practice run will lead to catastrophic complications in the main quest.
Death.
Accept?
Yes / No] Where exactly was the choice here?
Honestly, this was completely unfair.
Why should I care about this pair, especially since by the time I graduate from the Academy, my body won’t even be close to an appropriate age for that kind of relationship?
I’d have to wait until I was at least fifteen.
Meaning I’d need to add another three years post-graduation.
But God, was it tempting to get a save point at age twelve!
Incredibly tempting!
Even if I wasn’t really into older women—they’d be in their mid-twenties when I barely hit sixteen!
Sigh.
Fine, accepted.
This System is nothing but grief.
“Thank you, and yeah, be carefu—” I started to warn Yugao, but I was too late.
I’d been spacing out for too long.
CRACK!
Her foot went straight through the floorboards.
“…there are a couple of spots (okay, three spots) where the floor is pretty bad.
It holds a kid just fine, but an adult, especially one weighed down by combat gear…” I trailed off apologetically, spreading my hands.
Oh, the sheer rage radiating from Uzuki in that moment.
Her face twisted into an expression I had never seen directed at me before!
To be fair, she wasn’t looking at me, and she likely wasn’t angry at me.
But the “demon brat” reacted purely on instinct.
No, seriously, it was pure instinct!
I sprang backward, dropping into a sloppy combat stance.
“What’s wrong with you?” While both of them had noticed my reaction, it was the apathetic, nameless girl who asked first.
Damn it, what was I supposed to say?
That I trusted them so little I was ready to throw down in an unwinnable fight over a loud noise?
How was I supposed to build any kind of relationship with them after that?
Wait.
What if I reversed it?
It’s not me, it’s the life I’ve lived?
God, look at me.
I’m already cynically calculating how to squeeze a couple of sympathy points out of two girls I barely know.
“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” I asked “cautiously,” looking at a deeply confused Yugao.
“No, what made you think that?” Her tone was warm, but her eyes held only analytical interest.
Zero actual warmth.
“Usually, adults make that face right before they yell at me, or even hit me.” Okay, I was laying it on a bit thick.
Yelling?
Yes, constantly.
But the physical abuse had only happened a handful of times over the years.
Honestly, the only time I’d actually been hit back at the orphanage, I kind of deserved it.
Well, they could have just scolded me, but given how they felt about me, they took it a step further.
Still, I was the one who caused the situation; I couldn’t deny that.
“No, I was just angry at the carpenters…
yes, the carpenters,” Yugao replied.
Yes!
A whole percentage point!
I am an absolute genius!
…albeit a very specialized one.
Alright, what about the Pseudo-ANBU?
I’d kind of forgotten about her.
Did I at least get half a percent out of her during all this…
WHAT?
What do you mean, 19%?!
Where did that come from?!
That was three percent higher than the mother of the twins, and I SAVED HER DAUGHTERS’ LIVES!
This woman is definitively, severely screwed in the head!
Yugao, please never leave me alone with her!
“Now, we are leaving,” the nameless operative declared, considering the emotional situation resolved and the acquisition of a new apartment to be the paramount mission.
System, why?
Could you not have just given me one normal quest?
Am I really asking for too much?
[Quest Alert: Saving an Endangered Species] [You have a chance to alter the canon timeline!
What could be better?
I’ll tell you what’s better: having an entire (remaining) clan owe you their lives!
Or at least a small portion of it.
The absolute smallest portion.
Objective: Save Saya and Aya Uchiha.
Sub-Objective: Save Maya Uchiha.
Secondary Objective: Save as many Uchiha as possible.
Bonus Event: Knock some sense into Itachi.
Time Remaining Until Event: 401 Days, 17:42:37 Reward: Variable.
Failure/Rejection Penalty: None.
But are you really going to let some psychopaths murder the girls who are practically already yours?
Accept?
Yes / No] System…
thank you.
Whatever rusted gear just turned inside your code, just…
thank you.
I finally had a timeline, and it actually looked somewhat manageable.
Power-leveling enough to make a difference in a little over a year was possible, but I was going to have to work my ass off.
Suddenly, I was genuinely grateful to those two old schemers for assigning these women to me.
Assuming they actually taught me shinobi techniques properly, I was going to squeeze them for everything they were worth!