-One month later-
Pov: Takumi Uchiha.
Sakumo Hatake died?
That is unfortunate...
"...I haven't seen Kakashi at the park since it happened- I thought it was because he become Chunin two months ago... but to think..." Rin sighs as she talks to another classmate, we all stand and wait in the training field for a reason that I slept through.
Well that woke me up, I undo my jutsu and stretch my body.
"Oh, Takumi- I cannot make it to the study session today" Rin notes me awakening and lets me know.
"Tell Obito not me- enjoy your evening" I reply.
"Obito has a cold..." She lets me know and I nod.
Right- he had the signs of one yesterday.
"Hn" I reply and move my body into a relaxed position before pulling out my romance novel and reading through it.
I breezed through the first one <A farmers dedication> and now I am slowly reading through <A broken promise>... books are interesting but these ones only make my heart ache.
Maybe I shouldn't read romance anymore.
Though no other genre entices me as much.
"How is the book?" Rin asks, I glance her way and see that the other classmate has left.
"Good. Though I am disappointed by the protagonists actions... should have seen that coming with a title like this" I tell her.
Rin looks like she is contemplating something.
"Hey... I know I shouldn't really bother... but you might want to put the book down for a while" Rin says.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because the Hokage is coming to give lessons- and unlike the first year you can't just sleep through this stuff, it's important especially since we will be training to be sent into the war..." She tells me.
"Doesn't change my schedule, I will still be me" I tell her.
She frowns but accepts that fact.
...
"Hey Takumi?" She asks.
"Yes?" I reply as flip the next page.
"Do you... not like Shinobi?" She asks.
"In what way?" I ask.
"In every way... you seem to hate the idea of becoming one so much, me and Obito saw you... we saw what happened when your grandfather died and we know that you are very capable of being a Shinobi..." She slowly talks.
"I just don't want to go to the frontlines, maybe if we were in peacetimes I would consider putting in minimum effort" I tell her.
"I see... that's a relief" She exhales as if she were holding a breath.
"A relief? Why?" I ask.
"Uh- no reason, just relief that you are fine..." She makes a terrible excuse but even so I excuse it.
...
I continue flipping through my book silently, for a whole month my mind has been quiet... and my body feels much less energetic.
...
Apathy I suppose.
Stuck.
Not much to do, to think.
"What a lovely day aspiring shinobi and kunoichi- I seemed to have an hour of spare today so I thought to check up on my academy, how is everyone today?" The hokage enters the field with a lively tone and addresses everyone as he stands next to sensei.
"Good!" "Great!" "Amazing!" Many children chant back.
Hn, sometimes I forget I am amongst a group of children, I was wondering why the Hokage was speaking to us in a tone like that.
"Well that is great to hear, without wasting any time I believe we should get started? Any volunteers for a warm up spar?" He asks and multiple kids put up their hands.
I stop focusing on the Hokage and go back to reading my book.
...
I flip to the next page.
...
Again.
...
And again.
...
And again...
...until someone sits next to me.
I look up to see the Hokage in some combat gear instead of his robe, I look out to see half the entire class dead tired and across the training area resting.
"Takumi Uchiha right? I remember you from the entrance ceremony" He smiles at me.
"Correct" I nod my head and close my book.
"You don't use bookmarks?" He asks with that same smile.
"No" I answer.
"Interesting, and I hear you have developed a jutsu? Standing sleep jutsu?" He almost laughs.
"Correct" I answer once more.
"Great memory, impressive understanding of chakra and how to develop jutsu with it- and from what I see you train quite a bit at home then?" He raises and eyebrow and I frown.
Well... can't hide a trained body from shinobi I suppose.
"Correct" I answer him.
"This does make me curious... you are like a puzzle and I feel like I am missing a piece, you would be a great shinobi, train to the abilities of one... but don't wish to be one?" He asks me.
"Of course not" I shake my head.
"May I ask why? Most children your age want to be Hokage when they grow up" He looks at me with inquisitive eyes.
"Not interested in the job" I answer.
"I suppose that's all the detail then?" He asks.
"Yes" I tell him.
"What about the revision of the academy style? I know your grandfather tried to hide it but as Hokage it is my duty to research in depth to what my future shinobi will be learning... you revise an entire style but still don't want to be a shinobi?" He asks with wonder.
"Correct again" I answer.
"My, my... you are an interesting puzzle- is there perhaps a different future you want?" He asks me.
... I want to be among my empire... I want to be home.
"I want to rest" I tell him.
"Is that so...? What a troublesome answer... resting implies work was done but you want to skip that part entirely?" He looks to the sky and ponders.
"Sure" I shrug my shoulders.
"Oh? 'Sure' huh? What about meeting halfway, work a desk job- a non combat role?" He looks back at me.
"I... wouldn't want that" I tell him and shake my head.
I don't really care for it, I could do paperwork for sure... but I wouldn't want to chose my entire life here on a bench.
"Really? So I am to believe you are lazy? Despite the circumstances proving otherwise" He raises an eyebrow at me.
...
"Correct" I answer.
"Well. Quite the conundrum... what will I do with you...?" He asks himself and sighs.
I don't know either.
I am a lost cause.
"Well, at least you aren't doing nothing- that is the least I can ask of you" He shakes his head and stands.
Well... that wasn't that bad.
I open my book to the page I was at.
...
How did he know some of that? It is quite the feat to learn that much about a child's private life with his job... perhaps a leak in information.
I glance over to Rin who looks dead tired next to me, most likely from training.
"It is quite rude to inform others of my personal life" I state, with her questions and terrible excuse earlier it seems she felt guilty for something.
She puffs up her cheeks and looks away, never before have I seen such a terrible attempt at hiding information.
She looks like a pufferfish.
"Do as you will, but be warned that I will hesitate to fill you in on my personal details in the future if this is how you go about handling them" I shake my head and go back to my book.
"...sorry..." Rin says so quietly that if I wasn't who I was, I would have never heard it.
...
I do have to take a stance however, I cannot sleep through life no matter how much I wish to.
I suppose I must stop stalling and get a plan in order, Though it is quite the conundrum- being born into the Uchiha clan and having shown both the Hokage and Clan head what I can do when I apply myself, means that it is almost impossible to dodge ninja work now.
The Hokage himself did offer paperwork... which is a great offer and considerate of who I am- but I refuse, such a thing is not my style.
... sleeping more than necessary was never my style either...
Perhaps I should try out a non combat role like he suggested?
"Rin. What non-combat ninja roles are there?" I ask.
"Oh- uh... Medical ninja, T&I has a few options even if some are gruesome... teacher at the academy... maybe mission managers... R&D stuff..." She lists off the top of her brain.
"Hn. Interesting" I nod my head.
Medical personnel from my previous life were always useless... they would just laze around when assigned to me.
I am sure they are worth something to someone who plans to get wounded but my experiences with medical personnel are all terrible.
Torture and Investigations. I could mimic my Old mans 'trainings' and fit in just fine there... I also have extensive knowledge on tracking and investigating with the amount of people that run from me.
Teacher? I have never taught anyone anything in great detail... I am not good with socialization so I will refrain from talking to children, it was by luck that Obito and Rin became my friends.
Mission manager sounds boring.
Research and Development... I could fit in with my understanding of blades, perfecting taijutsu and more- there are many violent things that I have knowledge on and this Konoha lacks.
...
I hate these options. Can I not be a guardian of some peaceful place? The guardians of the grand library did nothing but read all day and never necessarily had to fight anything.
"I am sure there are many jobs waiting for you as an Uchiha... the police force being one..." Rin tells me.
"What is a police force?" I ask, I am sure the Empire had never used such a thing.
"The enforcers of Konoha's laws- I think you have heard about it... the police headquarters..." Rin stumbles over her words on the last few.
..?
Oh, right- they had temporary holding cells there... that's where Takumi the Uchiha Elder died.
I am not used to my mind being so dull, maybe it's the lack of Aura or perhaps all that sleep is more harmful than I had thought. My mind should be far sharper than this.
So this police force responds to internal threats and makes sure it's citizens are following the laws?
That... doesn't sound so bad, minor scuffles here and there, no big terrible demons to hunt, close to my current residence and able to keep that damned itch at bay.
I may have found what I want.
Would probably be unexpected but if my plan to fail the academy ironically fails then that is a good plan b.
Plan A being that I end up free to do anything I wish.
Plan C is run away and live in a cave. As bad as it sounds living the life of a nomad is quite peaceful.
...
Then again Plan C sounds more enticing day after day... the more I regret and remember my past the more I want to crawl back to it.
I flip the page and start reading the next one.
...
The Hokage soon leaves after a speech I ignore and this class returns to normal, as soon as I can I stand up and head for the exit.
"Takumi- next week are exams!" Rin shouts as I leave and I return a gentle wave.
Exams are already here... I have been on this planet for eight years and soon it will be nine.
Nine years away from the empire, nine years of blatant laziness and behaviour inexcusable to the old me.
Nine years and I still won't have gotten over them, my regrets piling up the more I think about them and no way out- how is it that I hold my friends and family so dearly when I have had so little time spent with them? Rin is someone I know better than all of my friends.
...
My heart still feels empty, that hole is not fading away... no matter how many books I read I will never know my wife, but I can at least understand her likes.
Maybe I should get another hobby... that foolish tinkerer had a wonderful garden didn't he? It had that amazing view of the palace and the glass ceiling that made the sky seem so beautiful.
... I am sure it would be lovely... but gardening may not be the right path...
It would lead to the same outcome that my books have lead me to find... an emptier hole.
I need to fill that hole with something, I am training my forms... reading my books... and yet I need something else.
Something to keep my mind off the past and help me settle into the present.
...
I need help.
I really do, I have been saying it for quite some time now and perhaps I should seek that help instead of hoping it would fall into place.
Rin is untrustworthy for now, and even if she was trusted I would be foolish to ask a child for help.
And yet I know little adults I wish to consult about these things... who among the adults I know could help me move on? How do you explain what is happening to me to anyone?
I need help in which I am unable to get.
I stop at the entrance to my current residence and stare at it's door.
...
My thoughts stop and the world feels still... endless... when encountering a problem that I cannot solve my bran feels numb, empty.
...
I rarely get problems that I cannot solve now... training and such usually fill these silences with epiphanies.
...
I need help, for a problem no one can help me with.
...
Too much skill, so much effort... not enough power.
...
That was the last time my mind felt empty.
...
Yet I won that fight... the old me would laugh at the numerous flaws I let go...
...
...
How can I win against regret?
...
An empty void within my head is all that hears my woe, and it responds with nothing but silence.
...
Due to my silent mind I move my mouth to keep the thoughts going, instinctively I return to my native tongue.
"{My Life... I can tell even without Aura, it sits at a lull, ready to flip into demonic territory. Without that Old fool to send me on my next hunt, I am without purpose... a blade unsharpened- a Blade Emperor unused}"
"What garbled nonsense is that?" I turn my head to see Obito behind me.
"I believe you were sick, no?" I ask him.
"I got over it- saw you outside as I left my house" Obito smiles at me.
...
"That garbled nonsense was the... dusk of my conviction. Nothing for you to mind"
"Dusk of... nevermind" Obito shakes his head and puts his hands into his pockets.
"{Had I said that to anyone in my old world I would have been executed immediately. When you direct your Aura you can not falter in your direction even for a moment... flipping sharpness into dullness... unrelenting into slothfullness... cruelty to kindness- I have betrayed everything I was and become demonic... and yet here I am allowed to sway in my emotions. Here you don't execute me, instead you watch me speak in a tongue you don't know and wonder what has gotten into my head}" I say aloud to which Obito tilts his head.
"Flibabeue susend dyeraton?" He speaks gibberish.
"{Foolish child}" I shake my head and unlock my door.
Obito chuckles as he follows me inside, tidying up his messy hair.
Thanks for reading :)