Sure enough, he had grown suspicious.
Yun Shuangxu remained outwardly unruffled, but inside, turbulent waves were crashing.
She did not answer at once. Instead, she turned her head and stared at Xie Jingbai for several breaths before letting out a cold laugh. “If Fourth Master has something to say, you may as well say it directly. I can’t understand all this beating around the bush.”
Xie Jingbai met her gaze, his eyes carrying a probing look, but he said, “Don’t overthink it. Third Brother has a bad temper, and I was only afraid you might offend him.”
Yun Shuangxu’s palms were sweating, but she still had to force herself not to show any fear. “With Third Master’s temper, if I had offended him, would I still be sitting here in peace? I’m afraid that isn’t what Fourth Master really wanted to ask, is it?”
Seeing that she had become angry, Xie Jingbai softened his tone. “It’s good that you didn’t run into him. I was only asking for the sake of asking.
“There’s something else I have to caution you about. The reason Third Brother opposed changing courtyards was that he resents Mother because of what happened in the past. He wasn’t speaking up for you.
“Grandmother was very displeased that you complained to him like that. In the future, when you see him again, you must be more careful. Be sure not to speak with him at length again.”
Yun Shuangxu naturally knew that Xie Jinglan had not been speaking up for her, but it was indeed one sentence from Xie Jinglan that had preserved that pitiful bit of her dignity.
For that alone, she should be grateful.
Xie Jingbai’s gaze fell upon her long, thick eyelashes. Watching them tremble lightly like butterfly wings, he felt a certain place in his heart soften before he realized it.
“Third Brother’s words aren’t entirely without reason. Mother and I did fail to consider things properly regarding the change of courtyards. Since you don’t agree, let it be. I won’t force you anymore. And don’t bring up marital separation again. If you keep talking about it, it will only hurt our affection.”
Yun Shuangxu looked up at him. Seeing how serious he appeared, she found it laughable.
They had not consummated their marriage in three years. What affection could there possibly be between them?
He cared about his own reputation, yet he invoked their supposed affection.
It seemed that even gentlemen could be divided into true gentlemen and false ones.
She had simply been blind before.
Looking at his face, clear and bright as the breeze and moonlight, Yun Shuangxu felt not the slightest ripple in her heart.
Xie Jingbai still had to report for duty and could not stay any longer. He rose and straightened his lapels. “I’m leaving. Think things over carefully at home. Tonight, I’ll stay here with you. We’ll consummate the marriage, and that should put your mind at ease.”
After saying this, he looked at Yun Shuangxu with a hint of expectation, imagining that she would be delighted and bashful, and that, as she had every time in the past, she would see him out the door with reluctance.
But that did not happen. Yun Shuangxu’s face held only astonishment and disbelief.
He was somewhat disappointed and could only leave on his own.
He thought that perhaps this decision had come too suddenly for her and had left her bewildered.
Once she recovered, she would surely be overjoyed.
During the time that followed, she ought to have someone thoroughly clean the room and arrange the bedclothes. Then, in the evening, she would put on exquisite makeup and wait for him to come.
She was already extraordinarily beautiful; it was only that she rarely wore makeup in ordinary times, wishing to appear composed and dignified.
If she took the trouble to dress up properly, she would certainly be as radiant as a newlywed bride.
He suddenly remembered that on the day they married, he had heard that Yun-niang was unwell. Before he had the chance to lift Yun Shuangxu’s bridal veil, he had gone to Yun-niang’s courtyard and had not returned for the entire night.
By the time of the tea ceremony the next day, she had already coiled up her long hair and dressed herself as a married woman.
It felt as though something had poked him in the chest, and Xie Jingbai could not help turning back to look.
Yun Shuangxu still maintained the expression and posture she had just had, without moving at all. She was beautiful as a jade carving.
He thought that she must have spent several hours carefully dressing herself that day as well, eagerly awaiting the moment he would lift her veil so that she could show him her most beautiful appearance.
But he…
He suddenly felt regret, along with a trace of shame, and secretly decided that tonight he must make it up to her properly.
When he stepped outside and saw Lü Bo standing guard by the door, he said amiably, “Go inside. Take good care of your Young Madam. I’ll come back to see her tonight.”
Lü Bo was slightly stunned, then bent her knees and acknowledged him. After he had walked some distance away, she turned and entered the room.
Inside the warm chamber, Yun Shuangxu was still sitting there in a daze, completely motionless. Nothing on her face revealed whether she was happy or sad.
“Young Madam?” Lü Bo walked over and called to her.
Yun Shuangxu came back to herself and looked at her twice. Then, her expression suddenly turned cold, and she said sternly, “Kneel!”
Lü Bo jumped in fright. She immediately understood and dropped to her knees with a thump. “Young Madam, please forgive me. This servant was wrong.”
“What were you wrong about?” Yun Shuangxu asked.
Lü Bo stammered, “This servant shouldn’t have taken it upon herself to go find Fourth Master last night. I only thought that Fourth Master was nearby, and that if he came and saw how pitiful Young Madam was, perhaps he would feel some pity for you…”
“And what happened in the end?” Yun Shuangxu asked with a cold laugh.
“…” Lü Bo lowered her head, unable to speak.
Yun Shuangxu pointed at her, her tone growing even harsher. “I told you long ago that going to find him would only bring humiliation upon yourself, but you refused to listen. You handed someone an excuse to humiliate me for no reason. Do you know how I felt when Lin Qingyun said it in front of an entire room of people?”
Lü Bo had not known about that. When she heard this and imagined the scene, tears immediately welled up in her eyes.
“Young Madam, this servant was wrong. This servant deserves to die ten thousand deaths. You may hit me or scold me, but please, don’t torment yourself. Don’t make yourself ill with anger.”
She crawled forward on her knees for two steps, then clutched Yun Shuangxu’s leg where it hung over the edge of the bed and burst into sobs.
Yun Shuangxu closed her eyes for a moment and wearily leaned against the bolster.
“You’re the only person I have who truly cares for me. How could I bear to hit you? I only hate that you have no backbone. You knew his heart was biased, yet you insisted on rushing forward and offering my face for someone else to strike.”
Lü Bo was overwhelmed with remorse, and her tears would not stop. “This servant knows she was wrong. After what happened last night, let alone Young Madam’s heart being dead—this servant’s heart is dead too. From now on, I won’t take matters into my own hands again, and I won’t hold out any hope for Fourth Master again.”
Yun Shuangxu sighed and left her kneeling there for a while longer before finally raising a hand. “Go pour me a cup of water. I feel a little nauseous.”
Lü Bo hurriedly wiped away her tears and scrambled to her feet. “How did you suddenly become nauseous? Could you have caught a chill last night? Shall I go call a physician to examine you?”
Yun Shuangxu shook her head. “No need. I’ll be fine after drinking some water and resting for a moment.”
“Yes.”
Lü Bo answered and went to the tea stove to pour her a cup of warm water. Then she cautiously suggested, “Today is the fifteenth, so the stewards should be coming soon to discuss matters. Since Young Madam is feeling unwell, perhaps I should send word for them not to come for now. It’s only matters concerning food, drink, and daily necessities. A day earlier or later won’t make any difference.”
This time, Yun Shuangxu did not object.
Since she had already decided to seek marital separation from Xie Jingbai, there was no need for her to continue managing the household diligently for his sake. In the future, she would return authority over the household to Duchess Wei and never trouble herself with or bear the burden of these matters again.
Unaware of what she was thinking, Lü Bo specifically asked her, “The matter of the courtyard has already been dropped, and Fourth Master has backed down as well. Does Young Madam still intend to seek marital separation?”
“Yes.”
Yun Shuangxu set down her teacup, her attitude resolute. “Lin Qingyun will surely continue causing trouble under the protection of her pregnancy. Even without the courtyard matter, there will be other vexations. I don’t want to remain entangled with them any longer.”
Lü Bo nodded, helped her lie down, and covered her with a thick blanket. “Since that’s the case, Young Madam, get some rest. This servant will go find out about that Taoist priest. Even if we’re going to leave, we must expose that harlot’s true face. We can’t let her keep gloating.”
Yun Shuangxu hummed in acknowledgment and closed her eyes.
The matter concerning the Taoist priest was not so urgent. What mattered most right now was this: if Xie Jingbai truly consummated the marriage with her tonight, what should she do?