No sooner said than done.
I manipulated my wife—wait, what?—into the woods on the edge of the Novice Village.
Even though this was a brand-new game, after my few hours of prior research, the starting quests in the Novice Village shouldn’t be a problem.
And besides, my wife had those incredibly powerful leg skills in her legs…
The rhythm of combat was a bit sluggish because of the cooldown restrictions, but it was steady and reliable.
[Dragon’s Roar Flash] had a full 1-minute cooldown.
That meant we had to patiently kite—one kill per minute.
Fortunately, this god-tier pair of battle boots was absolutely domineering.
The so-called goblins might as well have been made of paper in front of them.
“BANG!” With every high lift and downward chop of Yulin’s long, elegant leg, a goblin screeched and turned into experience points.
Even though this “Celestial Silk Snow-Thread Divine Dress” boasted top-tier defense—she could probably stand completely still and let goblins hit her all day without losing a single HP—I still maneuvered Yulin through agile dodges of every single attack.
Are you kidding me?
This was my wife!
Even if she didn’t lose HP, just the thought of one of those filthy goblins touching her skin even once was a humiliation I couldn’t bear!
“BANG!” The eighth one—finished.
“BANG!” The ninth one—knocked out of the field.
Victory was in sight.
I locked onto the last lone goblin, watched the cooldown finish ticking, and confidently pressed the skill button.
…Nothing happened.
The skill icon was grayed out—the familiar glow of activation never lit up.
“Huh? Honey… um…” A weak voice came through in my mind, tinged with embarrassment.
“I… I’m out of mana…”
“Huh😑?” I froze, my brain working overtime.
Starting mana: 100%.
A single skill costs 10% mana.
Killing 9 monsters used up 90%… wait!
“Damn!” I couldn’t help but curse out loud.
“I forgot—right at the start, when I first put on these boots, I wasted one cast just showing off for you to demonstrate the skill!”
Watching that goblin charge toward us, waving its club and howling, I had no choice but to command Yulin to throw out a basic attack.
On the screen, Su Yulin in her slip dress kicked out a flat, forward kick that landed with all the impact of a gentle tap on the goblin’s head.
[-1]A bright red, deeply mocking single-digit damage number floated up.
For this thick-skinned, tough goblin, that kick probably didn’t even qualify as a tickle.
“What a rip-off!!!” Watching the monster’s health bar barely move, Yulin and I let out desperate wails simultaneously through the mental link.
While I was still worrying about this last goblin, the creature certainly wasn’t idle.
It screeched, swung its crude wooden club, and charged.
Before I could react, the club slammed solidly into the side of Yulin’s thigh.
[-1]Still that mocking forced damage number.
With god-tier gear protecting her, this attack should have been as trivial as a scratch.
And yet—”Ah…” In my mind, Yulin’s voice—which had only been panicked a moment before—suddenly turned into an incredibly delicate cry, laced with a slight tremble the instant she took the hit.
That sound detonated directly in my auditory nerves through the mental link—soft, syrupy, numbing.
It didn’t sound like she was in pain at all.
It sounded more like… like she’d been touched somewhere sensitive.
My hand gripping the mouse twitched violently.
An indescribable thrill shot straight to the top of my skull.
“This game… even the hurt sounds are this ‘realistic’?”
Looking at the screen where the previously invincible character now stood frozen in place, awaiting my command, a bold and mischievous idea suddenly popped into my head.
Since I’m out of mana too, and you can’t kill it anyway… why not?
Almost possessed, I let go of the keyboard and mouse, crossed my arms behind my head, and assumed a “just watching the show” posture.
Without my control, Su Yulin transformed instantly from “War Goddess” back into that ordinary housewife with mediocre athletic ability.
Facing the goblin’s relentless barrage of lunges, she could only dodge in panic by pure instinct—scrambling this way and that, utterly flustered and pathetic.
“Ah…” The club grazed her waist.
“Oof…” The goblin’s claws caught her thigh.
“Eep…” The goblin’s attack landed on her rear.
As the attack frequency picked up, Yulin’s cries became noticeably… different.
At first they were fearful, but gradually they took on a sweet, sticky nasal quality.
It no longer sounded like screaming so much as… whimpering.
“Honey~~ You!! Ah… help… mmph…” She called out to me through the mental link, mortified and furious—her tone laced with shame at being touched by the monster and accusations at me for deliberately standing by and watching.
It was enough to make anyone’s blood race.
I had my eyes closed, face flushed with bliss, completely immersed in my wife’s seductive, bone-melting “screams” echoing through my mind.
That sadistic little itch of mine was being thoroughly satisfied.
But this private pleasure was violently interrupted by a sharp sound of cutting wind.
“HYAAH!” On the screen, a streak of sharp sword light slashed in from the side, striking precisely into the last goblin’s neck.
The creature that had been harassing Yulin let out a final shriek and dissolved into motes of light.
Ding—a system notification popped up: [Quest Complete: Defeat Goblins 10/10]But I couldn’t feel the slightest bit happy, because that finishing blow wasn’t kicked by me.
It was struck by that male player who’d tried to chat us up at the village entrance earlier—Lu Fei.
Lu Fei sheathed his sword with a flourish, the motion smooth and practiced—clearly a veteran of many similar games.
He turned around and flashed what he clearly believed was a charming smile at Su Yulin, who was still shaken, clutching her skirt and catching her breath.
“Hey there, beautiful. Looks like you’re out of mana. Pretty tough fighting monsters all by yourself, huh?”
Yulin had just been “harassed” by the goblin and hadn’t fully recovered.
Her face still carried a faint blush as she awkwardly stammered, “Th… thank you…”
Lu Fei clearly wasn’t about to let this opportunity slip.
He pressed his advantage: “If you ever need help with this kind of dirty, exhausting work, you can always count on me. I might be a swordsman, but carrying a lady is no problem at all. Come on, let’s add each other as friends? The name’s Lu Fei.” With that, a friend request pop-up appeared directly in front of Yulin.
“Um…” Yulin froze.
Instinctively, she reached out to me through our mental link, her tone full of helpless confusion.
“Honey?”
“Huh??” I—sitting at my computer—instantly bristled.
Damn it!
I’d merely been “distracted” for a moment enjoying my wife’s voice, and this punk had swooped in?
This wasn’t helping at all—this was blatantly poaching right in front of me!
Stealing my kill, saving my wife, and now trying to add my wife as a friend?!
An alarm bell labeled “NTR (even though nothing’s happened yet)” blared frantically in my mind.
“I’m going to—of course not, absolutely refuse—” But before I could even communicate with my wife, that Lu Fei gave her zero time to think.
“Beautiful, it’s just adding a friend—makes it easier to quest together later, that’s all.”
“Mm.” I watched helplessly as, on the screen, Yulin’s finger lightly tapped the [Accept] button.
Not only that, but a soft hmph came through the mental link.
Though I couldn’t see her face, I could clearly feel her shooting me a vicious side-eye in our mental space.
The emotion was three parts grievance, three parts petulance, and four parts deliberately provoking me—”Hmph!
Serves you right for just listening to my voice instead of fighting!
Serves you right for being so mischievous!
I’ll make you mad too!”
Staring at the “Lu Fei” that had appeared in the friend list, I ground my teeth in frustration but could do nothing about it.
After all, I *had* been in the wrong first.
This bitter “domestic dispute” fruit was mine to swallow.
Once I calmed down, I noticed something off about Yulin’s status on screen.
Even though combat had ended, the blush on her face hadn’t subsided.
It had settled into an unnatural, faint, barely noticeable flush.
Her eyes seemed a little dazed too.