Lying on the sofa, Ian tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable. He simply couldn't get Yunhui's words out of his head.
Be mine...
What on earth had he meant by that? Ian had no idea how to interpret it.
Did Yunhui want him to join Sanha Group and work as his assistant? Would he really call off his engagement to Yudam in exchange for something so trivial?
No. That couldn't be what he meant.
But...
Ian couldn't make sense of any other possibility.
He was an alpha, not an omega or a beta. As far as sexual attraction was concerned, he wasn't the kind of person who could belong to Kang Yunhui. Besides, there was no reason to believe Yunhui wanted anything like that from him.
Not once, all the way through high school, had Yunhui ever shown that kind of interest in him. And they'd spent the following ten years apart, which made the idea even more absurd.
No, that can't be it. Maybe I'm just imagining things.
He was overthinking everything. The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous his conclusions seemed to become.
Whatever Yunhui meant, if simply staying by his side would be enough to get him to call off the engagement to Yudam, it wasn't a bad offer.
Besides...
Ian's gaze drifted toward the bedroom.
Through the slightly open door, he could hear his mother moaning softly in her sleep.
She had been careful not to show any signs of discomfort while she was awake, not wanting to worry her son. But now that she was asleep, the pain seemed to be escaping her unconsciously.
She hadn't left the hospital because she was well enough to be discharged. She was forcing herself to pretend she was fine because she didn't want to worry him.
He couldn't allow her treatment to be delayed any longer.
There was nothing left to consider.
Whatever Yunhui had meant when he told Ian to become his, Ian had no other choice.
He pulled the blanket over his head and forced himself to try to sleep.
His surroundings went completely dark, but his thoughts remained a hopeless tangle, like countless threads knotted together inside his head.
*
It was summer.
The long rainy season had finally ended, giving way to almost unbearable heat.
Yunhui had been feeling particularly unwell that day. His vision had started spinning the moment he left the house that morning. It lasted only an instant, and he soon felt fine again, so he dismissed it as a moment of dizziness brought on by the intense sunlight.
By the time he reached school, however, his condition had worsened.
He felt as though heat were rising from deep inside his body, yet whenever he went to the nurse's office to have his temperature checked, it was perfectly normal.
The school nurse didn't think there was anything seriously wrong with him. She simply told him to lie down and rest for a while if he felt as though he were coming down with a cold.
He must have been asleep in the nurse's office for about an hour when something cool touched his forehead.
His insides had been burning for so long that the cool sensation felt wonderful.
Half asleep, he reached out and caught hold of whatever was touching him, reluctant to let it move away.
"Ah."
A short exclamation reached his ears.
When he opened his eyes, Ian's face was right in front of him.
"Are you okay?"
The gentle voice made the last of his strength seem to drain away.
He released Ian's hand and let his arm fall limply onto the bed. Ian's gaze followed the movement.
"You don't seem to have a fever."
Ian placed his hand against Yunhui's forehead again, then pressed his other hand to his own.
Apparently unable to feel much difference, he tilted his head. Even so, his expression remained serious with concern.
"It's nothing."
Despite his confident words, even the slightest movement of his head made the world sway around him.
He didn't dare try to sit up. Instead, he laid an arm across his eyes, hiding the way his brows had drawn together.
"If it were nothing, you wouldn't be lying here like this. I've never seen you sick before."
Ian's concern was comforting, but it also made Yunhui uncomfortable.
"Where's Yudam?"
"In the classroom."
"Go back to him."
In truth, Yunhui wanted Ian to stay beside him.
Ian's hand had felt so cool against his skin. He wished he would place it on his forehead again.
"It's fine."
"It won't be fine for him. Han Yudam's heat cycle is coming up soon. What are you going to do if it starts while you're not there?"
At the mention of Yudam's heat cycle, Ian murmured, "Is it already that time?"
Then he glanced at Yunhui, looking a little uneasy.
Apparently, he was beginning to worry about having left Yudam alone.
"Go. I'll be back soon."
"Don't push yourself. If you're feeling really sick, go home early. Do you want me to call your parents?"
Yunhui gave a faint, humorless chuckle at the suggestion.
His parents weren't the kind of people who would come just because someone called them.
At most, they would send a chauffeur.
"I'm not sick enough to go to the hospital. And even if I went home, there wouldn't be anyone to look after me anyway. I'd rather stay here."
Ian let out a long sigh.
"Then come home early with me. I'll take you."
"What about Yudam?"
"He can come with us."
There wasn't a moment's hesitation in Ian's answer.
But Yunhui didn't want that.
He had never brought anyone other than Ian to his house.
Not even Han Yudam.
"Forget it."
His reply came out colder than he'd intended.
Ian hesitated, then studied his expression.
He seemed to have realized that Yunhui was upset, even if he couldn't understand exactly why.
He was so quick to notice the smallest things, yet so hopelessly oblivious when it came to people's feelings.
And despite that obliviousness, he was always so kind.
Yunhui loved that about him.
But it was precisely what made everything so difficult.
"The bell's about to ring. Are you going to stay here, Ian?"
The school nurse pulled back the curtain and stepped inside.
Ian reluctantly rose from his seat, but he kept glancing at Yunhui, as though he couldn't bring himself to leave.
"I'll let you know if anything happens."
In the end, even the nurse had to intervene, sounding as though she didn't know what to do with him.
Only then did Ian give a small bow and turn to leave.
"Feeling any better?"
The nurse looked down at Yunhui.
He tried to nod, but his vision lurched violently.
At the same instant, a powerful wave of nausea rose in his throat.
He quickly turned onto his side and leaned his upper body over the edge of the bed.
The floor seemed to heave beneath him.
Then he pitched forward and fell.
"Kang Yunhui!"
Startled, the nurse rushed over to support him.
She seemed to call his name several more times, but every sound reached him as a muffled echo, as though he were submerged underwater.
After that, his memory went blank.
When he regained consciousness, he was in a hospital owned by Sanha Group.
"We haven't been able to determine the cause. I suspect it may be some kind of hormonal abnormality, but..."
A doctor was speaking to someone.
Yunhui forced his heavy eyelids open and saw his mother standing nearby.
She puts work before practically everything else, and she actually came all the way to the hospital...?
Don't tell me I've got some terminal illness.
He was entertaining these pointless thoughts when his mother apparently sensed that he was awake and turned toward him.
Her expression was more serious than he'd expected.
It seemed this really wasn't something as simple as a cold or a bout of exhaustion.
"We've already contacted our colleagues in the United States. It appears that Mr. Kang's condition may correspond to one of the cases they're currently studying. We might be able to find some answers if he goes there."
The doctor continued his explanation.
Yunhui's mother looked down at him with a deep frown, the furrow between her brows growing pronounced.
After a long moment, she nodded.
"Let's do that."
From that day onward, Yunhui never returned to school.
Or rather, he chose not to.
He'd had plenty of time to say goodbye to his friends, but he'd refused to see them.
Meanwhile, Ian called him several times a day.
Yunhui didn't answer any of those calls, either.
He was afraid that if he saw Ian now, he wouldn't be able to control his emotions.
The thought that he might have an incurable disease stirred a reckless impulse in him.
If that's the case, does any of it even matter anymore? Maybe I should just tell him everything.
But he couldn't do that.
He could pour out all his feelings and be done with it, but Seo Ian would undoubtedly agonize over every word he'd said.
And in the end, there would be no answer to any of it.
As long as they were both alphas, nothing would change simply because Seo Ian knew how he felt.
There was no point.
It would be better for both of them if Yunhui simply disappeared without a word.
*
Yunhui repeatedly cupped cold water in his hands and splashed it over his face.
Finally, he raised his head and looked into the mirror.
The face staring back at him was much sharper and colder than the one he'd had when he left Korea ten years ago.
It had been a long time since he'd dreamed about Seo Ian.
In the days immediately after he went to the United States, he'd dreamed about him almost every night.
Whenever he woke from one of those dreams, he would spend the rest of the day in a terrible mood.
In his dreams, Ian would gaze tenderly at Han Yudam and kiss him.
The sudden changes in Yunhui's body had actually begun shortly after he'd witnessed Yudam and Ian kissing.
When he'd first heard that they were dating, he'd thought he was prepared for it.
But seeing it with his own eyes had been a far greater shock than he'd anticipated.
That day, Yunhui had been briefly called away by his homeroom teacher.
By the time he returned to the classroom, it was time for music class, which was held in a different room. The classroom was empty except for Ian and Yudam.
They had probably been waiting for him.
Yudam called Ian's name.
As Ian turned toward him, Yudam quickly stepped closer, pressed his lips firmly against Ian's, and pulled away.
Ian's eyes widened in surprise, and he was left speechless.
Yudam gave him a bright, innocent smile.
Neither of them could hide their embarrassment. Even from a distance, Yunhui could see how red their ears and the backs of their necks had become.
He couldn't bring himself to enter the classroom.
He simply turned around and walked away.
That was the first time he'd understood what it meant to feel as though his heart were being torn apart.
He didn't go to the music room, either.
By the time he came to his senses, he'd already left the school grounds.
He ended up skipping the rest of his classes.
Later, Ian called him, demanding to know what had happened.
Yunhui brushed off his questions, claiming that he hadn't been feeling well and had gone home early.