It won’t work.
Even if they stay together, there won’t be a good ending.
Just end it like this.
There’s no time left.
Perhaps that day will come when life ends, just like with mother.
Being with someone like me will only bring endless suffering.
Jiang Ning stopped Xi Yue just as he was about to kneel.
Seeing the always proud and defiant Xi Yue pleading with her so humbly not to break up hurt her more than anyone else could imagine.
She lowered her gaze, straightening the collar of Xi Yue’s school uniform, doing her best to steady her trembling hands, not daring to look at him.
“Let’s break up.”
She said.
“Let’s end it here. I’ve had enough.”
…
She didn’t know how much time had passed.
Jiang Ning had thought she spent the entire night curled up alone in the bathroom.
When someone rang the doorbell, Jiang Ning glanced at her phone with difficulty—it was only 10 PM.
Jiang Ning tried to stand up and answer the door, but severe somatic symptoms left her struggling for a long time, unable to rise.
It felt as if her body were tightly bound by countless invisible chains, every limb and joint stretched taut like a fully drawn bowstring, ready to snap at any moment.
The doorbell rang again and again.
It wasn’t particularly urgent, yet Jiang Ning still felt her mind buzzing.
It must have been a long time before the doorbell finally fell silent.
Just as Jiang Ning thought the person outside had left, she heard two beeps—the sound of a keycard unlocking the door.
Then, Xi Yue’s voice called out.
“Ningning.”
Jiang Ning didn’t respond, hoping Xi Yue wouldn’t find her.
But the hotel suite only had so many rooms.
After calling out a few times, Xi Yue found her in the bathroom.
Xi Yue gathered the trembling Jiang Ning into his arms.
This was Xi Yue’s first time facing Jiang Ning completely losing control in a full-blown episode.
This was also the wretched state Jiang Ning had always tried to hide from Xi Yue.
Xi Yue held Jiang Ning almost frantically, somewhat at a loss, but he still dialed 120 immediately.
Xi Yue tried to rouse Jiang Ning’s consciousness, but she was already completely lost in her own delusions, murmuring something softly and painfully.
“Ningning?”
Thinking Jiang Ning was speaking to him, Xi Yue leaned closer to listen, but all he heard was Jiang Ning repeating,
“I’m so tired, Mom… take me with you.”
Xi Yue’s arms around Jiang Ning tightened instantly.
…
The ambulance arrived quickly.
The hotel housed many celebrities, and almost any unusual activity would catch the attention of lurking paparazzi.
When they saw Xi Yue hurriedly carrying Jiang Ning into an ambulance late at night, every paparazzo was stunned for several seconds.
Only after recovering did they start frantically snapping photos.
But before they could revel in finally capturing a major scoop, black-clad bodyguards who had quietly surrounded them blocked their escape, expressionless.
“Cooperate, please. Hand over your memory cards.”
…
Jiang Ning had already been wheeled into the hospital for physical therapy.
In her current state, medication could no longer provide relief.
Xi Yue leaned against the wall in the smoking area, lighting a cigarette but not smoking it, simply using the act to mask his helplessness.
A passing nurse noticed Xi Yue wearing a mask and kindly suggested, “Would you like to have your wound treated?”
Xi Yue only then remembered that his hand was still bleeding.
While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Xi Yue smelled a strong scent of blood and realized Jiang Ning was biting her own lip.
In the urgency of the moment, he could only stuff his own hand into Jiang Ning’s mouth for her to bite.
When Xi Yue spoke, he realized his voice was hoarse from excessive tension. “Thank you, but no need.”
A long time passed.
Only then did the doctor come to inform him that he could go in to accompany her.
Jiang Ning had been given a sedative injection, and her emotional state was now under control. She lay on the bed in a deep sleep.
Jiang Ning’s body was too weak.
To help her sleep better, the light in the room was dim, casting a thin, frost-like glow on the side of her face. She appeared exceptionally fragile, as if she might shatter at the slightest touch.
Seeing her like this made Xi Yue feel deeply distressed.
But it shouldn’t have been this way.
Before Xi Yue defied his family’s discipline and came to Hong Kong, if someone had told him that he would fall in love with a young girl in Hong Kong, that she would break up with him, and that he would even kneel down in desperation to beg her to stay—that in the years to come, he would still carry lingering feelings for her, chasing her all the way abroad like a lovesick fool, yet not daring to show himself before her—
He would have smashed that person’s head open, because every single part of it sounded utterly absurd.
But that was exactly how it turned out.
It wasn’t just lingering feelings—after their reunion, Jiang Ning had been rejecting him all along, yet he still hovered around her like a clingy, persistent dog.
Xi Yue sat by the bed, intending to tuck Jiang Ning’s hand, which was resting on the blanket, back under the covers.
The moment he touched her wrist, the abnormal texture made him freeze for a second.
Xi Yue lifted Jiang Ning’s hand and finally saw the hideous scar.
In that instant, Xi Yue’s emotions were almost indescribable.
He knew that in severe cases of depression, suicide was a tragically common occurrence.
But this was the first time he had come into contact with a mark left by Jiang Ning’s depression.
It was as if, through this scar, he had glimpsed the torment of her past.
After a long while, Xi Yue took a photo and sent it to the doctor.
[Can you tell roughly when this happened?]
The doctor observed it for a long time before replying.
[At least five or six years ago.]
Jiang Ning didn’t have this scar when they were dating.
In the U.S., she had someone taking care of her, so it was unlikely she would have had the opportunity to attempt suicide.
That meant it could only have happened in the months around their breakup.
Xi Yue pieced it together almost immediately.
He lowered his head, resting it in his hands, and it took a long time before he finally let out a long, trembling sigh.
…
Jiang Ning’s condition had stabilized by the next day.
This was a private hospital invested in by the Xi family, with excellent privacy measures. The medical staff didn’t act overly familiar despite Xi Yue staying overnight to care for Jiang Ning.
Jiang Ning’s condition had improved significantly, but her hands were still restrained with straps to prevent self-harm.
A nurse wheeled in the breakfast, and Xi Yue said to Jiang Ning, “I didn’t know what you’d like to eat, so I ordered a bit of everything you used to enjoy in high school.”
But Jiang Ning stared at the ceiling, answering a question he hadn’t asked. “Why are you still here?”
Her voice was weary. Having shown her most vulnerable side to Xi Yue, Jiang Ning couldn’t be bothered to put on any pretense in front of him anymore.
She was just curious—why could Xi Yue still be as attentive as usual after seeing her in this state?
He even showed more patience than before: “You didn’t eat dinner yesterday either. Have a little, and then we can talk.”
As he spoke, Xi Yue had already opened the lid of the clay pot containing vegetable porridge, ladled it into a bowl, and prepared to feed Jiang Ning.
But Jiang Ning turned her head away.
“Untie me. I’ll do it myself.”
Xi Yue watched Jiang Ning for a long while before cautiously untying only the restraint on her right hand.
Jiang Ning only took a few bites, her appetite as small as a cat’s.
Xi Yue tidied up the things and said nothing.
Only the clinking of bowls and chopsticks echoed in the hospital room.
Except during the show, where Jiang Ning deliberately forbade Xi Yue from acting intimately, in private, Xi Yue almost unilaterally maintained the same way they interacted before their breakup.
Occasionally, he would get so angry with Jiang Ning that he didn’t want to speak to her, but he would quickly calm himself down and come to bother her again.
He had been like this when they were dating, and six years later, he was still the same.
Xi Yue had thought Jiang Ning might sleep a little longer, but she took the initiative to speak.
“Want to talk to me?”