Whether it was fate, or something that had been forced into being.
In any case, starting from the very first day Shen Yandong enrolled nearly two years ago, Di Zhe had, as if by the most natural course of events, become his deskmate.
They never became friends yet they could not really be called enemies either.
Whenever the school organized collective activities, Di Zhe would always stay close to Shen Yandong’s side, rarely more than a step away from him.
Di Zhe, who in the past used to develop a new crush every few days, suddenly settled down during these two years. From then on, he became a one man love letter factory dedicated entirely to Shen Yandong.
The frequency remained exactly the same as before, one or two letters every week. He wrote them in different styles, constantly thinking of new ways to express himself and then slipped them into Shen Yandong’s schoolbag by various clever means.
Shen Yandong had tried returning them several times, only to discover that they could never truly be returned. Eventually, he simply adopted the strategy of letting them sink into the sea without a trace.
He did not like them.
He did not respond.
He rejected him with cold indifference.
And so it continued like this for two whole years.
Their classmates watched the spectacle for two years as well.
Di Zhe would bring food for Shen Yandong but Shen Yandong refused it.
Fine. Then Di Zhe began studying Shen Yandong’s tastes. After observing for a while, he discovered that Shen Yandong brought his own lunchbox every day. The dishes inside looked balanced, meat and vegetables carefully paired, nutritious and neatly arranged. While marveling at Shen Yandong’s cooking skills, Di Zhe went and signed up for an amateur culinary class himself, learning how to cook so he could prepare bentos for Shen Yandong with his own hands.
Di Zhe kept sending love letters and Shen Yandong told him he should put that energy into studying instead, so he would not remain stuck with such mediocre grades.
Fine. Then Di Zhe went home and studied like a man possessed. The next exam, he climbed straight into the top fifty rankings.
Di Zhe bought branded goods as gifts and Shen Yandong mocked him for spending his parents’ money so casually, saying that was why he didn’t feel the slightest bit of pain about it.
Fine. Then Di Zhe went out to work part time, earned money himself and saved up to buy clothes as a birthday gift for Shen Yandong.
And so it went, back and forth, again and again. One attacked while the other defended. By the time the final year of high school was almost over, there was still no clear winner between them.
However, Di Zhe’s relentless pursuit had long since become famous throughout the entire school. Even students from nearby schools had heard about it.
Whenever Di Zhe got into fights outside, people would laugh at him for being a hopeless romantic.
During the winter vacation of their senior year, Di Zhe’s younger uncle came back home for the New Year.
The uncle and nephew spent some time catching up.
When Di Zhe was little, he had loved following behind this uncle like a little shadow.
Back when Di Zhe was still in kindergarten and his uncle was attending high school, the man never forced him to attend interest classes. Instead, he would stay at home and play video games with him.
Come to think of it, Di Zhe had even once caught his uncle secretly bringing a lover home back then.
Even now, thinking about it still made him feel a little envious.
High school was almost over.
Yet he had not even managed to hold Shen Yandong’s hand once.
After hearing about his experience in pursuing someone, his uncle sighed with a mixture of amusement and disbelief.
“You can only have this kind of pure love while you’re still in school,” he said. “By the time you’re my age, who still bothers with all that? Other Alphas would laugh at you if they saw this.”
His uncle tried to persuade him.
“A Beta doesn’t have pheromones. If throwing money at them doesn’t work, they’re just hard to chase and the one you’re pursuing, you say he has great grades and loves literature. Tsk, tsk. Sounds like a literary type to me.”
Then he concluded bluntly, “Those are the hardest to win over. All effort, no reward. Why bother?”
Finally, with a greasy sort of cynicism, he summed it up.
“Besides, a Beta can’t even have children. What’s the point of chasing him?”
“Love is love. It’s not about having children!” Di Zhe, still very much a high school boy, retorted immediately. “I like him simply because I like him.”
He even began lecturing his uncle without the slightest restraint.
“Uncle, not to be rude but you’ve really fallen low. You adults are ridiculous. Why do so many Alpha men refuse to find a stable partner and instead treat being promiscuous like it’s something stylish?”
“Why should it matter whether other Alphas laugh or not? Are their opinions really that important?”
“I seriously don’t understand why adult Alphas set these standards, like you have to be morally loose to be considered popular among other Alphas. From where I stand, you’re just going with the flow. You’ve blended into a crowd of rotten people, lost your own principles and still feel proud of it.”
“Uncle, I’m not like you.”
“I’ll stick to my principles. I don’t care what other Alphas say.”
His uncle didn’t get angry at all. Instead, he burst out laughing, carrying the indulgent attitude of an adult humoring a child.
“Young people…” he said with nostalgic amusement. “When I was your age, I was just as naive.”
Then he suddenly added, “You’ll understand once you’re no longer a virgin.”
Di Zhe froze, caught completely off guard.
His uncle teased him mercilessly.
“Our diamond grade high schooler still hasn’t used it yet, huh?”
Although Di Zhe spent nearly every night thinking about Shen Yandong while taking care of his own urges and occasionally cracked a few dirty jokes with his friends in private, he had never heard such bluntly explicit words spoken out loud before.
For a moment, he was completely stunned.
His uncle looked utterly pleased with himself.
“That’s really a pity,” he said smugly. “If I remember right, you turned eighteen this year, didn’t you? At your age, it’s the best time, you know that, right?”
“No matter how aloof a Beta is, just find a chance to get them into bed. Once you sleep with them, they’ll come around. Why go through all that trouble chasing some pure romance?”
“I bet the reason you’re so fascinated now is because you haven’t slept with him yet and you’re still young. Once you actually get him, I’m guessing you’ll get tired of it before long.”
“Come on.”
Those words were far too provocative. Di Zhe couldn’t agree with them at all and yet, the Alpha instincts in his body reacted immediately, heat rising through him before he could stop it.
He had already fantasized countless times about what it would feel like to sleep with Shen Yandong, how intensely pleasurable such an experience might be.
He truly had been holding himself back for a very long time.
But when he looked at Shen Yandong, the other boy always seemed completely detached, as though he had no desires and no needs at all.
Honestly… it was despairing.
Were all Betas like this?
Without pheromones, did they also lack sexual desire?
But very quickly, Di Zhe’s sense of morality pulled his thoughts back from the edge where they had nearly gone astray.
His face flushed bright red as he protested, “Please don’t talk like that. I really cherish him… You don’t understand. His family circumstances are difficult and he studies so hard. He also keeps himself so disciplined and proper. That alone is already not easy for him. If he were willing to be with me, I would definitely treat him well.”
“Uncle, if you keep speaking badly about the person I like, I’m really going to get angry!”
“I truly like him.”
“Alright, alright.” His uncle leaned back lazily against the sofa, his tone casual and teasing as he replied without much seriousness. “I believe you truly like him, alright? That’s good enough but feelings change. Don’t say things with such certainty so early.”
“Young people really do have it good. You can speak so confidently and deceive yourselves so boldly.”
Why did he have to put it like that?
Di Zhe still refused to accept it. “I’ve already kept liking him for two whole years!”
His uncle responded calmly, “You’re only eighteen right now, so you think two years is a very long time. When you grow older, you’ll realize that two years pass in the blink of an eye.”
Di Zhe scoffed sarcastically. “I don’t know whether I’ll feel like two years is short in the future but I do know that once people get older like you, Uncle, they really become annoying. Do you know there’s a popular term lately, ‘old geezer’? I think you fit the definition perfectly.”
Di Zhe was absolutely certain that he liked Shen Yandong.
It had started as love at first sight.
When Shen Yandong smiled, Di Zhe felt happy. When Shen Yandong frowned, he felt anxious. When he thought about how difficult Shen Yandong’s family situation was, his heart ached for him. When Shen Yandong performed well in exams and received scholarships, he felt admiration.
He even quietly observed Shen Yandong’s daily life, carefully deducing and summarizing his likes and preferences.
And every night, almost without fail, Shen Yandong appeared in his dreams.
Sometimes they were innocent dreams, simple dates filled with sweetness. Other times the dreams drifted into more intimate territory.
How could that not be love?
Di Zhe had even imagined what their married life would be like someday.
In their country, eighteen was already the legal age for marriage.
Shen Yandong was a few months younger than him but he would turn eighteen in the same month as the college entrance examinations.
Well…
He had better stop letting his imagination run so wildly for now.
First, he needed to actually start dating him.
After all, Shen Yandong still had never agreed to be in a relationship with him.
But despite that, Di Zhe had not lost confidence.
Other people said he was just being a shameless “simp,” but he genuinely didn’t see it that way.
In fact, he felt rather good about himself.
He firmly believed that Shen Yandong could not possibly feel absolutely nothing toward him.
All he needed to do was keep persisting a little longer.
Now that they were in their final year of high school and the college entrance examinations were approaching, their studies naturally had to come first.
Di Zhe knew that Shen Yandong’s family was poor. In his mind, being admitted to a good university probably meant a chance for Shen Yandong to change his entire destiny.
He couldn’t delay Shen Yandong’s future just because of his own impulsiveness.
So after entering their senior year, Di Zhe deliberately restrained his pursuit a great deal. He only maintained a careful balance, appearing occasionally in front of Shen Yandong just enough to remind him of his presence.
But strangely enough…
Back when he used to hover around Shen Yandong all day long, Shen Yandong clearly disliked it.
Now that he tried to keep a low profile and stopped clinging to him constantly, Shen Yandong somehow seemed unhappy about that too.
One day after class, Di Zhe went to the restroom.
Inside the bathroom, he stood together with several of his younger followers, smoking and chatting.
One of the boys tried to advise him. “Boss, why don’t you stop already? Look at yourself, you’ve been simping for so long. You might not be tired of it yet but I’m already exhausted just watching you.”
“You know what they say about a simp. In the end, a simp ends up with nothing.”
Di Zhe stubbornly retorted, “What nonsense are you talking about? I’m not a simp. This is called deep affection and quiet endurance, alright? A deeply devoted and patient top character type, it’s very popular these days.”
Everyone looked at him with speechless expressions.
Then someone suddenly let out a soft exclamation and glanced toward the doorway.
What was it?
Had the dean of discipline arrived?
Di Zhe turned to look as well.
But the moment he caught sight of who was standing there, he immediately straightened up.
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
Behind every translated chapter is someone who probably needs caffeine.
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · Love at first sightChapter 2 · Lack of discretionChapter 3 · ShamelessChapter 4 · UnreasonableChapter 5 · PerseveranceChapter 6 · College Entrance Examination EndChapter 7 · Graduation dinnerChapter 8 · Confession nightChapter 9 · Pressing in step by stepChapter 10 · Enough is enoughChapter 11 · A huge blowChapter 12 · University start dateChapter 13 · Roommate meetingChapter 14 · Relentless harassmentChapter 15 · I’ll pick you upChapter 16 · It’s my vulnerable periodChapter 17 · Voluntary datingChapter 18 · Open your heartChapter 19 · Obedient to allChapter 20 · Not a virginChapter 21 · Swear to love meChapter 22 · Youthful DaydreamsChapter 23 · Teenage ThoughtsChapter 24 · EmptyChapter 25 · Extremely anxiousChapter 26 · Too lazy to struggleChapter 27 · From now on