“I did learn it when I was young.”
Meng Jinyue took a deep breath and continued, “Back then, when my mother brought me to the capital to seek out relatives, the journey was far from peaceful. She often suffered many injuries along the way.”
When accidents happened and they had no money for a doctor, she had no choice but to help her mother tend to her wounds.
“After doing it many times, I became skilled.”
“Only when you were young?”
Meng Jinyue lowered her gaze and paused for a long moment before speaking. “Not entirely. After returning to the Meng residence, my father hired a tutor to teach me dance. I would often get injured during practice and had to bandage myself.”
“The tutor always called me clumsy and would hit me.”
Xie Yunye’s expression darkened. “How dare she?”
Meng Jinyue lowered her head, her voice growing subdued. “The tutor only listened to my father and his wife. I was young then, and she didn’t care about me.”
Xie Yunye remained silent for a long while. He could almost picture her as a child.
Even now, she was timid and fearful. As a child, she must have been even more so—perhaps beaten and scolded, not even daring to cry.
Just like him when he was young, always shrinking back in fear.
“And now?”
Meng Jinyue was taken aback. “No one hits me anymore.”
But Xie Yunye was not satisfied with her answer.
“But your second sister and the others still bully you.”
Meng Jinyue fell silent, her head bowed. “I… I just endure it, and it passes.”
Xie Yunye’s expression darkened further, clearly angered by her words.
“Do you like dancing?” Xie Yunye abruptly changed the subject.
Meng Jinyue shook her head. “No.”
Xie Yunye said, “Then don’t dance.”
“In the past, the Xie family rose to prominence through military achievements, but the world will eventually find peace. In a few years, military generals will have fewer opportunities to prove themselves. For the children of noble families, pursuing scholarly pursuits is best.”
“I was also forced to study. They feared that if I pursued the military path, I would end up like my uncles, dying on the battlefield, because I am the Xie family’s only heir.”
“But when I was twelve, I tore up all my books and, without telling anyone, went to the border alone. There, I met the Crown Prince and also won battles.”
“Because I achieved success, when I returned to the capital, my family no longer forced me to study.”
“I’m telling you this because I want you to know that one should not blindly obey one’s parents, nor should one endure and yield in everything—especially for people like us, who have been mistreated by them.”
Xie Yunye’s words were meant for her, but perhaps also for himself.
It seemed that deep down, he possessed a rebellious spirit. That was good.
Meng Jinyue laughed inwardly.
But outwardly, she merely shook her head. “I don’t dare.”
Xie Yunye asked, “Why not? Once you take that step, you’ll find the world vast and full of possibilities.”
Xie Yunye truly had read too little, or perhaps he had forgotten—she was a woman, and her circumstances were different from his.
Even if the Xie family initially doubted his identity and made him suffer for a few years, once they confirmed he was indeed a Xie descendant, Xie Yunye became the only heir of the third generation.
Even if his stepmother disliked him, she no longer dared to openly target Xie Yunye.
And the Xie family forcing him to study was for his own good.
But her so-called “good father” had never treated her as a daughter.
Forcing her to practice dance was only to sell her for a good price later.
Xie Yunye’s rebellion might have only earned him a beating, but her rebellion could cost her and her mother their lives.
“My… my mother is still confined to the estate. If I disobey, my mother’s life will become even harder.”
“Moreover… my father has more than just me as a daughter.”
Xie Yunye was stunned for a long while.
He was not a foolish person, and after thinking it through, he naturally came to realize it.
She and he shared somewhat similar circumstances, yet they were vastly different.
Her life had been even more difficult than his, and to this day, she still lived under such conditions.
“I will secretly look after your mother from now on. Don’t worry about this matter anymore.”
That night, the two of them talked for a long time without even realizing it. At first, Xie Yunye asked questions, and she pretended to reluctantly answer.
Later on, it was Xie Yunye who did most of the talking.
She even learned far more about his life than she had in her previous life.
As he spoke, Xie Yunye, a man, even grew somewhat melancholic.
“I cannot be as kind-hearted as you. I cannot forgive those who have treated me poorly, even after all these years.”
“Whenever I recall how my father and grandfather doubted my origins in my childhood, treated me coldly, and looked at me as if I were a bastard, I still hold a grudge to this day.”
“My father always says I am ungrateful, that there is a barrier between me and the Xie family. He is not wrong.”
Meng Jinyue was not surprised by his confessions.
Earlier, she had already spoken about herself, and in Xie Yunye’s eyes, they were kindred spirits.
Some things that one would never confide in others could be spoken of more easily in front of someone with similar experiences.
Meng Jinyue lowered her gaze and spoke with a hint of sadness, “Actually, my father and grandmother have said the same about me.”
Xie Yunye looked at her, “Can you let it go now?”
In her previous life, she could not let it go. Back then, she had not yet seen things clearly, believing that her stepmother was the worst person in the household. Only later did she realize that her father was the most malicious.
Her stepmother and stepsister were naturally opposed to her, but she and her father were blood-related father and daughter.
All her suffering had been tacitly permitted by her father, and he had even played a part in it.
In this life, she would naturally not spare her biological father either.
“Actually… I cannot let it go either.”
Who would willingly let go of their grudges against their enemies? Only on the day they die could she truly let go.
Xie Yunye was taken aback, “With your gentle and yielding nature, I thought you wouldn’t mind, that you would endure it silently and forgive them quietly.”
Meng Jinyue replied, “I am no saint. Only saints can forgive without holding any grudges.”
Xie Yunye chuckled, “Neither am I.”
Meng Jinyue asked, “Does your father like you?”
Xie Yunye answered, “He values status and nobility above all else. Because my stepmother comes from a noble background, he dotes on his youngest son. My mother was of lowly status, and he has despised me since I was a child. But ironically, for so many years, I was his only son.”
“And in his eyes, I am disobedient and difficult to control. So, when the youngest son born to my stepmother arrived last year, he was overjoyed and warned me that I was no longer the sole candidate for the heir. Perhaps he intends to groom his legitimate son instead.”
Meng Jinyue said, “He… he doesn’t like you and treats you poorly. If you are ungrateful, it is because of them. In short… you don’t have to treat them with sincerity. Give back to your father only as much as he gives you.”
In the darkness, Xie Yunye was stunned for several moments. If not for her voice, which remained as soft and gentle as usual, he would have suspected that the person before him had been possessed.
“Are you the Meng Jinyue I know? I thought you would advise me to forgive them, to be filial to them, to endure a little longer.”
Meng Jinyue let out a soft, cold snort. “I wouldn’t. Actually, I’m just like you—I don’t like my father, my stepmother, or my second sister either. Who could like people who keep bullying them?”
“Enduring and yielding is just a way to survive peacefully. If I didn’t force myself not to care, how could I keep living?”
“But you and I are different. If I were you, I wouldn’t be as timid and cowardly as I am now.”
Xie Yunye looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. He had never imagined such words could come from Meng Jinyue’s mouth.
He had thought she was a fool, bullied yet still naively believing others were good.
Now he realized she might not be that foolish after all.
“So some of the things you said before were actually lies. You’re not a fool, nor are you just timid—you simply had no other choice.”
Meng Jinyue raised her voice slightly. “Of course I’m not a fool. I was born with a sound mind, never suffered brain damage—how could I be a fool? But it’s true, I’m not very brave.”
“Alright, you’re not a fool.”
Xie Yunye chuckled. She was still a little foolish, though.
She was just kind-hearted, just a bit timid.
“Why did you tell me all this tonight? Aren’t you afraid I’ll tell your second sister?”
Meng Jinyue widened her eyes and sat up abruptly. “Would you? Please don’t tell Second Sister! Even sages say we should judge by actions, not thoughts. I only had a few bad thoughts, but I never did anything wrong.”
Xie Yunye’s smile widened further. “Don’t worry, I won’t. In my eyes, those thoughts of yours aren’t bad at all. Any normal person would have them.”
Compared to the purely timid and naive version of her, this Meng Jinyue, who harbored some resentment, felt much more vivid to him.
They had glimpsed another side of each other, discovered a more authentic self, and it seemed to have brought them much closer.
“If we really judge things the way you say, my thoughts are a hundred, a thousand times worse than yours.”
Meng Jinyue grew curious. “What thoughts?”
“I’ve wished for my father to die.”
Back when he suspected he was a bastard, when his father raged and called him an ungrateful wretch.
Meng Jinyue gasped softly, then covered her mouth.
“Are you afraid of me now?”
Xie Yunye awaited her response. Would she think him treasonous?
Meng Jinyue pressed a hand to her chest. “No, but… from now on, you must never say such things to anyone else. People would surely think you’re insane and condemn you. Just keep it to yourself.”
Xie Yunye paused, then curved his lips, unable to suppress a smile.
“I only say these things to you. I know you’ll understand me.”
“Didn’t you only say those things to me just now?”
“Would you say these things to A Zhi?”
Xie Yunye’s voice held a hint of anticipation.
After a moment of silence, Meng Jinyue answered honestly, “No, I wouldn’t.”
Xie Yunye laughed even more heartily.
“Then why only tell me?”
Meng Jinyue thought for a while before speaking. “Because you told me many things about yourself. Sincerity for sincerity.”
“And?”
Meng Jinyue bit her lip. “You’re not a bad person.”
Xie Yunye laughed again. He had smiled more tonight than he usually did.
In truth, he knew these weren’t the real reasons. The most important thing was that they shared similar experiences, which was why she had opened her heart to him.
“You won’t tell Second Sister what I said tonight, right?” Meng Jinyue confirmed once more.
“I won’t.”
Xie Yunye’s reply was resolute.
“Good, then. I’m going to sleep.”
Just as Meng Jinyue was about to fall asleep, Xie Yunye suddenly spoke up: “Would you like to reconsider?”
“Reconsider what?”
She asked groggily.
“Reconsider marrying me, so I can take responsibility for you?”