Song Jianing swore that she would never eat lychees again in this life. If she really wanted to eat them, she would eat them very, very slowly, and definitely not in a carriage.
She woke up in the middle of the night, touched her small neck, and quietly warned herself.
After the warning, something came to mind. Song Jianing immediately lowered her head. These past few nights she had not slept well. She either dreamed of choking to death on a lychee or dreamed that she had become Guo Xiao’s concubine again. Her mother was worried about her, so she specially had Jiu’er lay a bed on the floor to sleep beside her. A lamp had to be left burning in the room too. The dim yellow light shone through the gauze curtain. Song Jianing saw a pair of chubby little hands.
She let out a soft sigh of relief. This was already the fourth night. It seemed she had really gone back to the year she was ten years old. Her mother had not yet fallen critically ill.
It was the first month of the year. Small households in Jiangnan could not afford to heat the floor with underground dragons, and the charcoal fire had long gone out. Song Jianing shivered from the cold, quickly crawled back under the quilt, and tucked the edges tightly around herself. Warmth surged over her again, but her sleepiness completely disappeared. She lay there motionless, staring blankly with a furrowed brow, feeling worried.
Her mother’s illness…
In her previous life, her father had passed away from illness when she was only six years old. She had been too young then and could barely remember. Right after her father left, she had been sad for a long time. Whenever she got sick or suffered grievances from her cousins, she would cry to her mother, asking for her daddy in a pitiful voice. But as the days passed, her father’s figure and face became more and more blurred. In the end, she could hardly remember anything at all. She only knew she once had a scholar father who died of illness.
She had forgotten, and after the sadness passed, she continued to eat and drink as usual. At most, she would envy others for having a father. But her mother never forgot. Of course, while her mother was still alive in her past life, Song Jianing did not understand why her mother would suddenly shed tears or eat very little, becoming thinner and thinner, as if she would fall over with a single gust of wind.
The senior maid beside her mother told her that her mother cried because she was thinking of her father. Song Jianing still did not understand. She also wanted her father to be alive, but why didn’t she think of crying?
Later, her mother fell ill from longing and passed away in the autumn when Song Jianing was eleven. After that, she became Liang Shao’s concubine, tasted the flavor of love between men and women, and was ruthlessly stabbed in the heart by Liang Shao. Only then did Song Jianing suddenly understand her mother. When her father was alive, he must have treated her mother extremely well, which was why her mother could never forget him. If Liang Shao had also treated her well and she had been snatched away by Guo Xiao, then even if Song Jianing did not have the courage to die for chastity, she would definitely have thought of Liang Shao often instead of living carelessly without a care in the world.
Sigh, why did she think of that profit-driven scoundrel who sold his concubine for glory again?
Shaking her head to throw Liang Shao out of her mind, Song Jianing continued to worry about her mother.
Having lived an extra lifetime, Song Jianing could now understand her mother’s longing for her father. But she could not let her mother continue like this, or her mother would become haggard and leave her alone in the world again. She had to find a way to shift her mother’s thoughts…
Her mother was a widow, and one who was deeply trapped in grief and could not move on. She never stepped out of the main gate or the second gate, and she did not even visit her sister-in-law. She stayed shut inside her room all day. Apart from taking care of her, she only thought about her father. It would be strange if she did not fall ill.
So the first thing she needed to do was persuade her mother to go out for walks. What was wrong with being a widow? Many widows remarried. If her mother truly loved her father and wanted to remain a widow for him her whole life, then she would stay by her mother’s side forever. In the future, she would choose a reliable man in the county town to marry, have several children, and often bring her sons and daughters to visit and keep her mother company to relieve her boredom.
Yes. When the weather warmed up and the peach blossoms bloomed, she must beg her mother to take her to the shore of Taihu Lake. Taihu Lake — she had not been there for so long. She still remembered the weeping willows by the lake, the clusters of peach blossoms, and the beautiful, fresh white fish and thin-shelled, delicious white shrimp…
Song Jianing fell asleep. In her dream, her mother took her to the lakeside. The mother and daughter sat on a painted boat with a table full of delicious food.
Early the next morning, Lin-shi came to check on her daughter. She saw her daughter sleeping with a rosy little face, looking delicate, charming, and adorably naive. She was very pretty, except for the drool at the corner of her mouth again. Lin-shi felt both loving and puzzled. Neither she nor her husband had a strong appetite for food. Where did her daughter’s greedy little mouth come from?
Her throat felt itchy. Lin-shi quickly walked behind the flower-and-bird screen in front of her daughter’s bed, covered her mouth, and coughed lightly. Her heart was filled with endless sorrow. Her daughter had been having nightmares these past few days. As her mother, she should have slept with her, but she did not dare to, fearing she would pass her illness to her daughter.
The suppressed coughing sound woke the soundly sleeping Song Jianing. She rubbed her eyes and called out in a sleepy, unclear voice, “Mother?”
Upon hearing this, Lin-shi quickly tucked the handkerchief back into her sleeve, put on a smiling face, and walked to the bedside. While hanging up the bed curtain, she said softly, “An’an is awake?”
Her daughter had been born prematurely. When she was first born, she was tiny and thin. Lin-shi had been so afraid she would not survive that she gave her the pet name “An’an.” Her formal name included the character “Ning,” hoping her daughter would live a lifetime of peace and safety. Perhaps the name worked. By the time she turned one year old, her daughter had grown white and plump. Other children had to be coaxed to eat, with elders chasing them around with bowls. But her daughter would finish one bowl and still hold onto it, unwilling to let go, asking for more.
Sitting sideways on the edge of the bed, Lin-shi lovingly pinched her daughter’s chubby little cheek.
A mother cherished her daughter, and Song Jianing also looked at her mother with longing eyes. From childhood to adulthood, all the women around Song Jianing — from women in their forties and fifties to little girls of five or six — were trying every way to make themselves thinner. Someone like Song Jianing, whose cheeks jiggled slightly when she walked, would be laughed at the moment she stepped out. People would call her “Song Fatty” with all kinds of teasing remarks.
Song Jianing herself also thought that slender women looked beautiful, with tiny waists that could be held in one hand and narrow waists under long skirts, like fairies. But she liked eating even more. Since one could not have both fish and bear’s paw, after starving herself a few times, Song Jianing decisively gave up on a slim waist and chose delicious food instead. Moreover, she gradually discovered that among thin women, some looked dry and withered like bamboo poles, while others were like her mother — graceful and elegant, walking with a swaying figure like a weak willow in the wind.
In Song Jianing’s heart, her mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. Unfortunately, although they had the same almond-shaped eyes and oval face, her mother had a refined and elegant temperament that clearly showed she was full of knowledge and books. But she herself had a seductive appearance. Even when she behaved honestly and did nothing at all, others would say her eyes were not honest and that she was thinking of seducing someone!
“Mother, teach me how to practice calligraphy,” Song Jianing said, hugging her mother’s arm and acting coquettishly in a soft voice.
Lin-shi found it strange. She held her daughter’s small hand and asked, “Did you quarrel with your cousin again?” Her health was poor, so she had specially hired a female tutor to teach her daughter. Her brother-in-law had also sent his niece over. The two girls studied together and kept each other company. However, her niece was domineering, so the little sisters occasionally had disagreements.
Song Jianing shook her head. She buried herself in her mother’s arms and said, “I want to write the same characters as Mother.” The longer she occupied her mother, the less time her mother would spend thinking about Father.
Her daughter was good at acting spoiled. Lin-shi thought for a moment and agreed, “Then you go to the study for your lessons first. After school, Mother will teach you separately.”
Song Jianing nodded obediently.
After having breakfast with her mother, Song Jianing took her maid and went to the study room in the front courtyard to study together with her eleven-year-old cousin, Song Jiao. Song Jiao was exactly as she remembered — always trying to outshine Song Jianing in everything. Whenever the female tutor asked a question, she would rush to answer first. In her previous life, Song Jianing had secretly envied her cousin for being so clever. But now, her mind was full of worries, and she kept losing focus.
How should their family get along with the second branch in the future?
In her previous life, after her mother passed away from illness, her second uncle and aunt treated her well for a while. They coaxed her into handing over her mother’s dowry for them to use. Only then did the couple show their true faces. They treated her worse and worse each day, and in the end, they even sent her off to become a concubine. During that time, Song Jianing had written letters to her maternal uncle and aunt in the capital, hoping her uncle would take her in. Instead, her aunt had advised her to reflect on her own faults, implying that if her elders treated her poorly, it must be because she had done something wrong first.
Song Jianing felt a sour ache in her heart. Perhaps one of the reasons her mother had insisted on remaining a widow was that her own family was not welcoming her back?
Never mind. No matter how bad her second uncle and aunt were, they still had to fear her mother. As long as her mother recovered and lived a long, healthy life, her second uncle would never dare to casually arrange her marriage again.
The morning lessons passed while she was lost in heavy thoughts. Song Jianing and Song Jiao together saw the tutor out, then the two sisters went back to their own homes. Song Jianing walked lightly and happily to find her mother. When she reached the main room, she was surprised to find that her second aunt, Hu-shi, had actually come over. She was sitting in the hall chatting with her mother, seemingly discussing something.
“Mother, Second Aunt,” Song Jianing called out obediently. Her short little legs moved over to her mother’s side as she looked at her aunt with complicated feelings.
Hu-shi was twenty-five this year, two years younger than Lin-shi. She was also a thin woman, but her skin was rather dark and her face was a bit long. At best, she could be considered average-looking. She smiled warmly and asked Song Jianing, “The day after tomorrow is your cousin Jiao’s maternal grandmother’s fifty-fifth birthday. Would Jia Ning like to go? This time the family has hired the chef from Drunken Immortal Restaurant. Jia Ning will definitely love the food.”
Drunken Immortal Restaurant was a famous restaurant in the area. Song Jianing still had fresh memories of their dishes. She wanted to eat them, but she did not want to go to the Hu family to freeload.
“My mother is not feeling well. I want to stay home and keep her company,” Song Jianing said, leaning against her mother and acting as if she could not bear to leave her.
Lin-shi knew her daughter was greedy for food. She said kindly, “An’an, you should go. Your older sister and brother are going too. You can play together.”
Song Jianing did not say anything. She just hugged her mother and twisted her body left and right, silently acting spoiled.
Lin-shi’s heart melted. She could only say to Hu-shi, “Then let An’an stay with me. You all can go. Please send my regards to the old madam for me.”
Mother and daughter were of one mind. Hu-shi forced a dry laugh, stood up, and left. The moment she stepped out of the main branch’s courtyard, her face immediately tightened with displeasure. A day later, when Lin-shi sent a maid with a birthday gift, Hu-shi felt slightly better. But when she looked up and saw her husband gazing regretfully toward the main house, Hu-shi instantly felt hatred again. That vixen! Both mother and daughter were vixens. Especially Lin-shi — not only did she bring bad luck to her own husband, she even bewitched her brother-in-law and made him lose his soul.
Although she hated them in her heart, Hu-shi did not show it on the surface. She called her son and daughter, and the family of four took a mule cart to the neighboring county town to visit relatives.
Hu-shi had a younger brother named Hu Zhuang. He was in his early twenties, idle all day with no proper job, and still unmarried. He had been waiting at the door since early that morning. When he saw the Song family’s mule cart from afar, he eagerly rushed over. However, only his brother-in-law and his family of four got down — no one else was inside.
Hu Zhuang’s face darkened. He found a chance to pull his elder sister aside and whispered, “Where is she?”
Lin-shi was beautiful. He had been thinking about her ever since the day she became a widow. Unfortunately, Lin-shi rarely went out, and his sister would not allow him to cause trouble at the Lin family. He could only wait patiently for an opportunity. A few days ago, his sister had promised to bring Lin-shi along. He had been so excited that he could not sleep well for three nights in a row, tossing and turning, with Lin-shi filling his mind the entire time.
Both her husband and her brother coveted Lin-shi. This only proved how good Lin-shi was. Hu-shi felt unhappy and snorted, “She didn’t want to come. Do you expect me to drag her here by force?”
Hu Zhuang became anxious. He scratched the back of his head and begged his sister, “Then let me go over there, Sister. I promise…”
“You dare!” Hu-shi glared at him fiercely and said in a low voice, “She has a strong temper. If something happens and someone dies, who will take responsibility? Just wait obediently. I don’t believe she will stay indoors for the rest of her life!” When the time came, in some remote wilderness, even if Lin-shi would rather die than submit, once she was dead and as long as her brother was careful and left no traces, the authorities would never trace it back to them.
By then, only one half-grown little girl would be left. She could coax the girl with a few kind words, and all the rich dowry that Lin-shi brought would become hers.