Lin Qin was taken aback for a moment before she said, "…Would it be too much trouble for you?" She felt her own voice sounded a bit distant.
"No, it wouldn't. I sleep late anyway." Meng Jingnian's tone was gentle.
"But won't there not be enough space?" She remembered that his place only had two rooms, one of which was used as a study.
"The study has a sofa bed. Sometimes Xie Heng—my friend—stays over there too."
Only then did Lin Qin nod. "Then I'll be troubling you."
She got up and began to pack her things, stuffing her pens into her pencil case and tossing it into her tote bag. She gathered up the scattered draft papers and tucked them into her textbook, only to discover a gel pen still clipped inside, so she hurriedly fished the pencil case back out.
She hoped Meng Jingnian couldn't tell that she was already so flustered inside that she'd lost all composure in her actions.
Meng Jingnian simply stood to the side, waiting until she'd finished packing before asking, "Do you need to buy anything?"
"…Yes."
Her dormitory roommates got along well—the one with rhinitis usually waited until everyone else was asleep before going to bed herself. Tonight, Lin Qin had lost track of time on her own. Coming back late would not only risk disturbing her roommates, but she was also afraid she wouldn't be able to fall asleep right away anyway, so she'd decided on the spur of the moment to stay at a hotel. That was why she hadn't brought anything with her.
Slinging her tote bag over her shoulder, Lin Qin walked between the shelves and grabbed a toothbrush first. When she looked up, Meng Jingnian had taken two bottles of purified water from the cold drink fridge and was waiting by the checkout counter, apparently intending to pay for everything together.
"…You can pay for yours first," Lin Qin said.
Meng Jingnian glanced at her, paused, and seemed to catch on to her subtle awkwardness. He nodded, handed the two bottles of water to the cashier, and said, "I'll wait for you outside."
"…Okay."
The convenience store only had whole boxes of disposable underwear—seven pairs per box. Thinking she could use them for future shoots out of town, Lin Qin grabbed one. She had a preferred brand of toothpaste, and since she wasn't sure whether Meng Jingnian had spare bath towels and face towels at his place, she also picked up one disposable version of each.
After grabbing all the essentials, she took another lap around the store before heading to the register.
It wasn't much stuff, so she simply stuffed everything into her tote bag and pushed open the glass door. Outside, Meng Jingnian stood at the bottom of the steps, his white shirt billowing slightly in the night breeze.
The light was a soft yellow, and that tall, lean silhouette looked like a fleeting glimpse captured in an old photograph—almost unfairly handsome.
The convenience store's door chimed as it opened and closed, and Meng Jingnian turned around, asking with a smile, "All set?"
"Yeah. But I couldn't find any slippers."
"I have some at my place."
Lin Qin took two steps down and walked over to stand beside Meng Jingnian. He reached out and handed her a bottle of water.
A breeze passed by, and she caught a whiff of alcohol on him, mingled with a cool, woody fragrance—not too strong.
She felt a little tipsy herself.
"Thanks." Lin Qin took it and twisted the cap off with ease.
Meng Jingnian glanced at her and smiled.
She knew exactly what he was thinking of, and the corner of her mouth lifted too.
The two walked side by side. Lin Qin took a sip of water, her fingers lightly squeezing the bottle. "Went out for a drink tonight?"
"Yeah. Finished up my work and went out with a friend for a couple of drinks."
"…The international workshop thing?"
"Yeah." Meng Jingnian turned to look at her. "You know about it?"
"I went to the Atmospheric Sciences building to find Yan Mingxuan—when our team leader was having a meeting—and I saw the banner hanging in your building." Lin Qin explained without batting an eye.
"Right. I've been busy with all that lately. I was planning to go watch your provincial competition, but I honestly got too caught up and forgot."
"Oh… that's fine. It's been a while now anyway."
Lin Qin had naturally entertained the idea of inviting Meng Jingnian to come watch the competition, but knowing he was about to have his formal defense around that time, she hadn't been able to bring herself to ask.
It seemed like there was no reason to seek him out except to ask for help. But she was a perfectly capable person with all her limbs and wits about her—how much help could she possibly need? Even if she managed to come up with a few excuses, she'd feel bad constantly imposing on him. She knew he'd be more than willing to help—that was just the kind of person he was. And precisely because of that, she couldn't bear to keep needlessly draining his kindness.
Even though they were at the same school, it felt no different from when he was in Germany—if anything, it was even more agonizing.
They only got to see each other at the two group dinners, and even then they barely exchanged any words. Sitting on the same couch, watching Didi play and act cute with him, a flicker of envy would pass through her. She'd rather they were simply blood relatives.
"What's your team called—Plexy?" Meng Jingnian asked suddenly.
Lin Qin hadn't expected him to have looked closely at their team uniform. "Yeah."
"Is there a meaning behind it?"
"The first letters of our four team members' names are P, L, X, and Y. The only word we could think of that contains all four letters was 'plexy.'"
"So what does the extra E stand for?"
"…E equals mc squared?"
Meng Jingnian let out a laugh.
"Actually, it stands for earth. Yan Mingxuan said that atmospheric science is the science of taking the earth's pulse."
"That summary of his is pretty good—sounds like he's destined to work at our institute for life. Tell him to step up his preparation for the graduate school recommendation."
Lin Qin smiled too. "If you get the chance, tell him yourself—he's been wanting to add you on WeChat."
It had been so long since she'd felt this lighthearted. Just walking in the night breeze, chatting with him, was enough to make her this happy.
Before she knew it, they'd reached the entrance of her apartment building.
The faint nervousness that had been building along the way was like a thread of foreshadowing, and the moment they stepped into the elevator, it all came to light at once. Lin Qin stared mechanically at the changing floor numbers, taking slow, silent, deep breaths.
When they reached the eleventh floor, Meng Jingnian stepped out first. Lin Qin followed behind him, her steps feeling like she was treading through mud—a slight, uncontrollable sinking sensation.
The keypad lock beeped. Meng Jingnian pulled the handle, opened the door, and flipped the switch by the entrance.
The entryway lit up. In the pale white light, she could see at a glance that the place was even cleaner than the last time she'd visited. In the shoe-dropping zone, there was only a pair of slippers and a black umbrella stand holding a long-handled umbrella.
Meng Jingnian didn't change his shoes first. Instead, he opened the shoe cabinet and took out a pair of white slippers from the bottom shelf—much smaller than his own.
Had he prepared these after her last visit?
The slippers showed no signs of ever being worn.
Lin Qin said "thank you" and took them, feeling a dizziness that surpassed even mild intoxication.
Meng Jingnian changed his shoes and gestured toward the living room sofa, telling her to sit for a moment. She walked over, set down her tote bag, and saw him heading toward the bedroom, though she couldn't tell what he was going to do.
She didn't dare move on her own, so she sat stiffly on the sofa and looked around.
Even though it was a rental, he'd kept it in meticulous order. Beside the TV was a new potted plant—an umbrella tree in a gray ceramic pot, its leaves a deep, lush green and thriving.
The balcony door was open, and from outside came the faint rustling of wind through the treetops.
Lin Qin didn't have to wait long. Meng Jingnian emerged from the bedroom holding a white T-shirt.
"It's an MPI culture shirt. When I was washing it, I found it was one size too small. I've never worn it—you can take it as a change of clothes."
Lin Qin reached out and took it.
On the chest of the T-shirt was a green logo: the profile of a woman wearing a hat that seemed to be wrapped with wheat ears. Below it was text:
MAX-PLANCK-INSTITUT
FUR METEOROLOGIE
"This emblem—who is she?" Lin Qin pointed at the logo.
"I believe she's Minerva, the goddess of wisdom in ancient Roman mythology."
Lin Qin hugged the T-shirt. "Thank you. I'll wash it and return it to you."
"No need. If you don't mind, it's yours." Meng Jingnian smiled. "Go take your shower first—I'll tidy up the study a bit."
"…Okay."
If the clothes were merely borrowed, it would always feel somewhat ambiguous.
Meng Jingnian was nothing if not measured—he wouldn't give her the slightest chance to let her mind wander.
Lin Qin took out her toiletries from her bag, grabbed the T-shirt, and headed to the bathroom.
For her second visit, it was just as spotless as before—even the mirror was clean without a single water stain. She hung the T-shirt on the towel rack, pinned up her hair with a hair tie, and was about to turn on the faucet to wash her face when she heard a knock at the door.
She turned off the water and opened the door.
Meng Jingnian stood outside, holding a neatly folded bath towel and hand towel.
Lin Qin quickly took them. "…Thank you."
"The hair dryer is in the drawer."
"No need… I'm not washing my hair today."
Meng Jingnian nodded and turned to leave.
Since she was in someone else's home, she didn't want to dawdle. Lin Qin finished her shower quickly, changed into the clean T-shirt, tidied up the bathroom, and carried her dirty clothes out.
The study and bedroom were both at the other end of the living room. Seeing no one in the living room, Lin Qin headed toward the study.
Meng Jingnian was indeed in the study, drawing the curtains.
There was a one-and-a-half-meter sofa bed, neatly made with cream-colored bedding that gave off a fresh, just-laundered scent—clearly newly changed.
A small movable black cart served as a bedside table, holding an air conditioner remote, a phone charger, disposable steam eye masks, and bottled water.
Even hotel service wouldn't be this thoughtful.
Meng Jingnian walked over from the window and gestured at the cart. "The AC is set to 26 degrees. If you feel cold, you can adjust it yourself."
"Okay."
"What time are you getting up tomorrow?"
"Eight."
"Want me to wake you?"
"No need—I'll set an alarm."
Meng Jingnian nodded. "Then rest early. Good night."
"…Good night."
Meng Jingnian walked out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him.
Lin Qin sat down on the edge of the bed, then let herself fall backward, lying flat.
She pressed her palm against her heart, staring at the ceiling light. It took her a long moment before she kicked off her slippers and climbed onto the bed.
She plugged her phone into the charger, set three alarms, and turned off the light.
Closing her eyes, she still felt as though her nerves were strung taut, continuously stimulated.
She couldn't sleep.
She turned over, facing the window.
Still couldn't sleep.
She tore open a steam eye mask and put it on, emptying her thoughts in pure darkness.
Still couldn't sleep.
Clearly, coming to Meng Jingnian's place was not a wise decision.
Her ears automatically caught the sounds outside the door—footsteps passing by, deliberately light, then a soft click as the door to the adjacent room closed, and then everything fell silent.
Meng Jingnian had probably finished showering and gone into his room to rest.
She had no idea what time it was, and she didn't dare look. Knowing the exact time would make her calculate how much sleep she could still get, which would only heighten her anxiety.
She was exhausted, but the feeling of drowsiness seemed like the last fifty meters of a long-distance run—the finish line close at hand, yet impossibly far away.
Without medication or alcohol, there was only one way left to rescue herself from insomnia.
Silence and darkness wrapped around her like a piece of black velvet.
Without hesitation, her fingers moved with practiced familiarity to her collarbone, trailing slowly down to her chest; her other hand wandered along her flat stomach, winding downward.
A faint, clean fragrance filled her nostrils, and she could imagine it more easily than ever before.
His touch, his bones, his breath—the way he lowered his body into her, the dark eyes watching her…
She pressed her cheek tightly against the pillow. The fact that he was in the very next room made her body temperature rise rapidly, as if she were burning, dizzy and breathless.
"Meng Jingnian…" She bit her lip, calling out the name silently, trembling.
Her body tensed and curled, breathing rapid, and after a long while, slowly relaxed.
After lying there for a while, Lin Qin got up, found her slippers by the bedside with her feet, switched on her phone's flashlight, and moved quietly to the door. She opened it, crossed the living room, and went to the bathroom to clean up.
Coming out of the bathroom, she passed through the living room and returned to the hallway.
Suddenly, she heard a click—Meng Jingnian's door opened.
Lin Qin froze in her tracks, startled.
Light from the bedroom spilled through the doorway, outlining Meng Jingnian's figure. He was wearing a dark gray T-shirt, holding a water glass in his hand, freshly showered, his hair soft, his features exceptionally clear and clean like a painting.
He looked somewhat puzzled—probably having heard her footsteps, he'd come out to check, and also to get himself some water.
"Not asleep yet?" Meng Jingnian asked in a gentle voice.
"…Going to sleep now."
"Rest early. Don't stay up too late studying, or you won't be in good shape for tomorrow's exam." His tone was warm and caring.
"Okay." Lin Qin lowered her eyes, her voice especially soft and gentle.
Meng Jingnian looked at the girl holding up her phone's flashlight.
She stood in the dim light wearing a loose T-shirt, her figure slender and delicate, her lowered eyelids making her look utterly obedient.
Lin Qin reached out and pushed open the study door.
Meng Jingnian said, "Good night."
"…Mm."
The door closed, and Lin Qin slowly pressed her back against the door panel, listening to the faint footsteps heading toward the living room.
She walked to the bed, kicked off her slippers, turned off the flashlight, and lay down.
No wonder blasphemy was a sin.
Of the seven deadly sins, all but envy were pleasurable and seductive in their pull toward corruption.
At this moment, carrying the secret pleasure of having committed blasphemy, she lay on the soft bed, recalling Meng Jingnian's clear, bright appearance in the hallway just now, and in a weariness tinged with faint self-loathing, closed her eyes contentedly and sank into sleep.