One of the quintessential scenes of modern communication: typing a long string of "hahahahaha" into the input box while wearing a completely expressionless face.
At this moment, to add weight to her claim of being "scared," Lin Qin sent another string of crying emojis.
Scared as she was, it wasn't enough to keep her awake. She could just pop in her Bluetooth earbuds and listen to some music to distract herself.
Meng Jingnian had said she was "all talk, no courage but plenty of appetite for it"—and that seemed about right. She couldn't help but keep probing, wanting to see just how far she could go before he realized she was crossing the line.
The moment he realized it would probably be the moment their current relationship began to crumble.
Lin Qin caught herself. On some subconscious level, she was already hoping for a clean break—an ending that settled everything once and for all. But she lacked the courage to burn all bridges, and she lingered, still harboring foolish fantasies, as if heaven might take pity and grant her a perfect ending.
MJN: Want me to keep you company and chat?
Meng Jingnian clearly meant chatting with her on WeChat.
She continued typing: Could you come over, Uncle? I think the window isn't closed properly—the curtains are making a noise that's freaking me out a bit, but I don't dare get up.
She waited a long time, but no reply came from Meng Jingnian. The matter would probably just fizzle out—sometimes when people made requests she found intrusive or troublesome but couldn't bring herself to decline, she'd just leave the message hanging. Once the moment passed, it would naturally be dropped. If the other party was a person of tact, they'd understand what it meant.
She put down her phone and fished her Bluetooth earbuds out from under her pillow. Just as she was about to put them in, she heard a knock at the door.
Her breath hitched for a beat. "…Come in."
The door opened. Meng Jingnian stood at the threshold, backlit by the hallway light, his tone carrying a hint of amusement: "That scared, huh?"
"…Yeah. That movie really lingers." She put on a face that looked about to cry.
Meng Jingnian reached up and pressed the switch by the door. The light came on. He pulled the door mostly shut, leaving it ajar, and walked toward the window by the desk. He reached out, closed the window fully, and drew the blackout curtains shut.
There was a gray beanbag chair leaning against the bookshelf. He picked it up with one hand, set it down beside the bed, and settled onto its edge, leaning slightly toward her. "Go to sleep."
Lin Qin couldn't help but laugh. "…You look like you're guarding a prisoner."
Meng Jingnian raised an eyebrow slightly.
Lin Qin pointed at the switch by the bed. "You can turn off the light."
"Not scared?"
"Aren't you right here?"
Meng Jingnian paused for a brief moment, lowered his gaze, then stood up, reached out, and pressed the overhead light switch.
Darkness fell all around. The only source of light was the sliver of hallway glow seeping through the gap in the door.
After a moment, once her eyes adjusted to the dark, that faint light was enough to make out rough shapes.
"Can you tell me a story?" Lin Qin joked.
"How am I supposed to tell a story with the lights off?" Meng Jingnian said with a laugh. "I can give a lecture, though. Want to hear one?"
"Please—I just finished my exams. My brain is locked away and I don't plan on using it."
Meng Jingnian let out a soft laugh.
Lin Qin turned over, lying on her side facing him, her cheek pressed against her palm. Her voice was low, carrying a hint of huskiness: "…Uncle."
Her voice had never been the crisp type. If apples were the comparison, it was the texture of a mealy, sandy apple.
"Hm?"
"…When you were studying in Germany, what did you do every day?" Lin Qin kept her eyes open, searching for Meng Jingnian's silhouette in the gloom. In a moment like this, even her gaze at him felt like it needed less concealment.
"Reading, running experiments, attending academic conferences, writing papers… Nothing too special. Sometimes I'd go to concerts, or go camping in the suburbs with friends."
"Sounds a bit lonely…"
"And dull. It felt like life stretched out, and every day was just a repetition of the same day…" Meng Jingnian looked up, his gaze meeting hers, his tone earnest. "Yiyi, the truth is, I'm a very boring person. I don't have much of an adventurous spirit either."
His gaze was as calm as the deep sea, and it made her feel as if she'd been scalded. She had to look away. She felt that his tone was plain, yet his words carried a hidden meaning—she didn't dare dwell on it, and she had no way to confirm it.
"Then when you were in Germany, did you ever, occasionally…"
Think of me?
"Occasionally what?"
Lin Qin shook her head. "Can you tell me about your camping trips?"
"Mm." Meng Jingnian thought for a moment, then began. "I didn't go that many times. Once was in the Lüneburg Heath. The weather was nice when we set off, but halfway through the ride, it started to rain…"
His voice was beautiful—clear and smooth, with just the right touch of low resonance.
She envied whoever would one day hear him whisper sweet nothings.
"…We finally managed to set up the tent, and then we discovered the camping stove wouldn't light…"
Lin Qin yawned.
"Getting sleepy?"
"…A little."
"Close your eyes. I'll keep talking, and I'll leave once you're asleep."
"Mm."
Lin Qin closed her eyes.
The room was still, as if at the bottom of a lake. Meng Jingnian's voice flowed on like slow, gentle water.
She savored this feeling, convinced she would never fall asleep, yet with him sitting there beside her, readily telling her "bedtime stories" as if on demand, it seemed to awaken a deep-seated sense of security within her, so much so that she slipped into slumber without any struggle.
In the past, sleep was always a gift she could only obtain after winning battles against all sorts of anxiety and pain.
Meng Jingnian sat in the dark silence of the room, unconsciously trailing off, yet remaining still for a long while.
It wasn't until Lin Qin's phone, which had been set to silent and placed on the cart, suddenly lit up—seemingly a text message or app notification—that he snapped back to attention. He looked toward the bed; Lin Qin was already asleep, her arm resting naturally at her side.
He rose, walked to the bedside, and looked down at her. He pulled the thin blanket up a bit, then took hold of her wrist, intending to tuck it under the blanket, but his movements paused.
Her wrist was very slender, so delicate that one hand could encircle it completely.
After a moment, he lowered his head and gently pressed his forehead against her palm, murmuring in a low voice, "I'm sorry."
After covering her with the blanket, he turned her phone face down so the screen wouldn't light up again and disturb her.
Then he left the room and closed the door behind him.
/
At 10:30 in the morning, Lin Qin woke up naturally.
She had put her phone on silent before bed, and overnight, several messages had accumulated.
At the top of the list, Meng Jingnian had left her two messages.
The first read: I'm helping grade papers today, so I've gone to school ahead of you. Breakfast is on the table—remember to eat when you wake up.
The second read: Dinner tonight? My treat?
After reading them, Lin Qin first replied with a "Sounds good," then walked out of her room while checking the dorm group chat.
Everyone had agreed to head into the city for lunch, then go shopping and catch a movie in the afternoon. The others had all confirmed, and they were just waiting on Lin Qin.
Lin Qin quickly replied: I'm in too, but I have dinner plans, so I'll need to leave early.
Then she sent another message to Meng Jingnian: I'm going shopping with my roommates this afternoon. Is it okay if I head straight to the restaurant after I'm done?
After washing up, while eating a sandwich at the table, she received Meng Jingnian's reply: Sure.
At that moment, the message she had sent to Chi Yi last night after plugging in her phone—"Can you explain why I fell asleep leaning against you?"—finally got a response.
Chi Yi: You leaned over on your own.
badapple: …
Chi Yi: Just kidding. The car turned a corner, and inertia swung you over. You looked like you were sleeping pretty deeply, so I didn't wake you.
badapple: What a coincidence—you actually know the word "inertia."
Chi Yi: Come on, my diploma is the real deal.
Chi Yi: My looks too.
badapple: …
/
In the classroom of the department building, Meng Jingnian was grading papers alongside Xie Heng and several fellow graduate students.
Working like an assembly line, they made quick progress and finished everything before noon.
The teaching assistant for the course had ordered takeout for everyone, and since eating in the classroom would leave the smell lingering, they moved to the tea lounge.
Meng Jingnian and Xie Heng shared a small table.
Outside the department building, dense shade covered the ground, and sunlight made the leaves gleam brightly. This year, Nancheng was likely in for another long, sweltering summer.
Xie Heng lifted the lid of his meal box and was wolfing down his food when he suddenly heard Meng Jingnian across from him say, "Teacher Xie, I'd like to ask you a question."
"Why are you using such a big word like 'ask'? I can't take that."
Meng Jingnian ignored him and continued, "If someone has feelings for you, would you be able to tell?"
"With frequent contact, basically no problem."
"Could you misjudge it?"
"I basically never do. Though I won't rule out people who are overly confident in themselves."
Meng Jingnian nodded. "Suppose a girl who has feelings for you is also having close contact with other people…"
Xie Heng said without hesitation, "You're being played."
Having said that, Xie Heng seemed to just realize what he had said. "…Wait, no? You're being played?! Who is she?" He looked around and lowered his voice, "Teacher Ni?"
"What does she have to do with this?"
"Everyone knows—you're going to be Teacher Ni's personal interpreter."
"I can give you the opportunity."
"If I knew German, I'd definitely volunteer myself."
"Are you into her too?"
"No, I don't compete with my roommate. Teacher Ni is a beauty after all, and working with a beauty is an honor in itself." Xie Heng's curiosity was burning, and he wasn't about to let Meng Jingnian change the subject. "So who exactly is this person? Is she really that impressive? Our famous hard-to-chase face of the meteorology department only gets to be one fish in her pond?"
Meng Jingnian lowered his head in thought for a moment, then shook his head firmly. "She's not that kind of person."
"Then you're just overthinking it."
"…Yeah."
That was right. When he kept scrutinizing whether she had crossed any lines, perhaps he was the one who had truly crossed them.
Xie Heng studied him. "…So who is it? Meng Jingnian, if you have even a shred of humanity, you wouldn't leave me hanging at a time like this."
"Just pretend I don't."
"…" Naturally, Xie Heng wouldn't pass up the chance to rub salt in the wound. "Usually, you only wonder if she likes you when you like her too. You're done for, Old Meng. It's fine—everyone has moments of overthinking. Don't be upset."
"Why be upset? It's fine."
"…What's fine about it?"
Meng Jingnian didn't answer him anymore.
That way, his cowardice wouldn't hurt her—it would only be his own burden to bear.
/
On a summer evening, the sunset stretched long, the sky transitioning from rose pink to hazy blue, shifting with every passing second.
Lin Qin stood at one end of the crosswalk and had already spotted Meng Jingnian at the entrance of the restaurant across the street. Beneath the dappled shadows of flowers, he wore a white shirt and black trousers, like a deliberate blank space left by a painter.
The moment the light turned green, Meng Jingnian, who had been looking down at his phone, suddenly raised his head and looked over. With a brief pause, he caught her gaze and lifted his hand in a wave.
Lin Qin followed the crowd, checking left and right for cars, and quickly crossed the crosswalk, jogging a few steps to reach Meng Jingnian.
"Sorry, I came out of the mall through the wrong door. The road was blocked off, so I had to walk all the way to the end to cross. That took a little extra time."
"I already made a reservation, so being a bit late doesn't matter." Meng Jingnian smiled and reached out, naturally taking the shopping bag from her hand.
As they walked toward the restaurant entrance, Meng Jingnian asked, "Bought some clothes?"
"I got Auntie a yunjin silk shawl."
"Hasn't her birthday already passed this year?"
"When it's your birthday, you expect gifts. Isn't it more of a surprise to give one on an ordinary day?"
Meng Jingnian pushed open the restaurant door and said with a smile, "She'll be very happy."
Their seats were by the window.
The stained glass windows and the hexagonal glass sconces on the ink-blue walls cast a soft, tranquil glow.
Lin Qin sat down and took off the small crossbody bag.
Meng Jingnian glanced at her. She was wearing a tube-style denim top with a matching choker, her collarbones and shoulders clearly defined. She had put on makeup today, with a mulberry-purple lipstick shade that was beautiful in a way that kept people at a distance.
Before, he'd only had a vague sense that "Yiyi is pretty," no different from "Melody is cute"—like when you see a good-looking child on the street and most people instinctively say, "What a beautiful kid."
When had his observation started to carry the appreciation of someone of the opposite sex?
This realization made him frown unconsciously.
It was a long-established French restaurant with a set menu, serving courses one by one from appetizer to dessert.
Before the main course even arrived, Meng Jingnian already felt full. He looked across the table, but Lin Qin was eating with gusto. Though she was slim, she didn't hold back when it came to food. As far as he remembered, she had no particular dietary restrictions and loved meat. A good habit.
"Yiyi."
"Hmm?" Lin Qin looked up at him.
"The yunjin shawl must not have been cheap. I don't mean anything by it—I just wanted to know if your usual allowance is enough."
Lin Qin laughed immediately. "You ask me this every year."
"Yeah. I'm afraid you're just putting on a brave face."
"I'm doing modeling now, and the pay per job is actually pretty good. Plus I get a scholarship every year, so as long as I don't splurge, it's more than enough."
"That's good."
Lin Qin looked at him. "If I said it wasn't enough, would you give me an allowance?"
"Would you take it if I did?" Meng Jingnian said with a smile.
"I did some research," Lin Qin said with mock seriousness. "A full-time researcher at our school makes about 300,000 before taxes a year. Is that enough for you to save up for a wife, little uncle?"
"What can I do?" Meng Jingnian put on a genuinely troubled expression. "Then I guess I'll just have to stay unmarried."
Lin Qin's teeth lightly clinked against her fork, and she quickly lowered her gaze.
This person always unconsciously says things that make one's mind wander.
The final dessert of the meal was a house-special ice cream—rich and airy in texture, but only a small scoop, gone in three bites.
Lin Qin set down the ice cream cup and looked across the table.
Meng Jingnian found it amusing and handed his own cup to her.
"Thanks, little uncle. You're the best." Lin Qin scooped a spoonful into her mouth and said vaguely.
Meng Jingnian watched the girl across from him in the dim light.
After this entire meal, he leaned even more toward one conclusion: all those wandering thoughts were just ghosts of his own suspicion.
The way Lin Qin interacted with him was no different in essence from before he'd gone to Germany.
What had changed was him—it was the inappropriate desires he'd developed toward her.
After paying the bill, the two left the restaurant. Lin Qin waited at the entrance for a moment while Meng Jingnian brought the car around.
There had been red wine with dinner. Meng Jingnian hadn't touched it since he was driving, but Lin Qin had tried a little. The amount was far from enough to cause intoxication, only adding a faint flush to her cheeks.
After driving for a while, she noticed how quiet the cabin was. Lin Qin reached out and turned the volume up a notch, and the car's speakers filled with majestic symphony music.
"What are your plans for summer break?" Meng Jingnian asked suddenly.
"My shooting schedule is already packed."
"Not thinking about taking the IELTS or TOEFL?"
Lin Qin shook her head. "I don't want to go abroad."
Meng Jingnian had no intention of meddling in someone else's future plans, even though with her grades, going abroad to broaden her horizons would have been good for her.
"What about you, little uncle?"
"I'll be going to Hainan on a business trip in early July."
Lin Qin nodded. "Then…"
"Hmm?"
Lin Qin shook her head.
Casual conversation never lacked for topics, and soon they arrived at the entrance of the residential complex.
Meng Jingnian drove into the underground parking garage, and the two took the elevator up from the basement.
After entering the apartment, Meng Jingnian went to the kitchen, washed his hands, and took a watermelon out of the fridge.
As he was cutting the watermelon, he heard footsteps behind him. A moment later, Lin Qin came over and stood in front of the counter.
At first she was watching his deft movements, but before she knew it, her gaze drifted to his forearm where his sleeve was rolled up.
"If you want some, help yourself," Meng Jingnian said with a smile, as if he had misunderstood why she was lingering nearby.
Lin Qin snapped back to attention and took a slice from the bowl. "This watermelon has so few seeds—it's like it came to repay a kindness."
Meng Jingnian smiled, then lowered his gaze and said evenly, "Since you're still here, let's finish it together. Otherwise, I won't be able to eat it all by myself later."
Lin Qin paused. "…Mm."
A chill slid down her throat, making her stomach seem to clench as well.
The "request to extend her stay" that she had been mulling over all day, unsure how to bring up without seeming deliberate—she couldn't get a single word of it out.