“Good evening, family! I was originally a Beastmaster, one who listens to the language of beasts and commands the herds. I knew the heavens above and the earth below, but alas, divine punishment struck, and I drifted to this place… For only 9.90, place your order now to experience the magic and elegance of a Beastmaster!”
Su Yi finished her meal and took a nap. When she opened her backend, she was pleasantly surprised to find that her follower count had surpassed five thousand. The growth was gratifying—truly, truly gratifying!
Just as she finished her passionate opening monologue, she caught a faint, strange sound coming from the direction of the front door.
She walked over quietly. As she drew closer, the sound became clearer, like someone scratching the door with their fingernails. Pressing her eye against the peephole to look out, she saw the hallway was completely empty.
Su Yi’s scalp tingled as scenes from horror movies she had watched scrambled to the forefront of her mind. Holding her breath, she was about to turn back to grab her phone and call the police when a weak voice rang out: “Protecting the home is every bunny’s responsibility!”
Su Yi: ?
She twisted the doorknob.
Just as she pulled the door open a crack, a small white figure rushed forward like a bolt of lightning… but it didn’t make it all the way in. Its head was inside, while its body remained outside.
It squeezed inward with all its might, but its body was too plump. After several failed attempts, it shrieked in frustration, “Let me in!”
Confirming it was indeed a rabbit, Su Yi let go and pulled the door open wider.
The round, chubby rabbit finally charged into the room and shrunk under the coffee table, its two crimson eyes staring at her warily.
“Hello, little bunny. Are you lost?” After a brief standoff, Su Yi crouched down to eye level, flashing her most ‘radiant’—no, her most kindly smile.
The rabbit didn’t move.
A few seconds later, Su Yi straightened up and muttered to herself, “A spicy rabbit head just fell from the sky.”
The rabbit, previously quiet as a mouse, suddenly made a gurgling sound in its throat. Its two long ears stood tall, and one paw scratched fiercely against the smooth floor.
Its anger meter was maxed out.
“Bunnies are so cute! How could you eat bunnies!”
Su Yi responded languidly, “A bunny that breaks into a private residence is not a good bunny. On behalf of all rabbit-kind, I am expelling you from the ranks of cute bunnies.”
The scratching on the floor grew louder as the rabbit retorted indignantly, “I didn’t break in! This is my home! Wait… you can understand me—?”
“Your home? Why don’t you call out to it and see if it answers?” Su Yi crossed her arms, looking down at it from her height.
The rabbit’s attention was diverted, instantly forgetting the shock that a human could understand rabbit language. It said angrily, “Do you think I’m an idiot? Don’t take bunnies for fools. A house can’t talk, how could it answer me?”
Su Yi gave an “oh” of realization. “Is that so? But if I call it, it answers me.”
“You’re bragging!” The bunny mocked, refusing to believe her. “If it answers you, I’ll give you my head to make a spicy rabbit head!”
“You said it,” Su Yi said calmly. She raised her voice and called out, “Xiao Ai!”
The next second, a cheerful voice rang through the room: “I’m here.”
The bunny was confused. The bunny was shocked. The bunny was in disbelief!
“How is that possible…”
A house can really talk?? The home it had lived in for years, the home it had stayed in since shortly after it was born, had actually become someone else’s home? How long had it even been gone??
It was a total breakdown!
Su Yi suppressed a laugh as she watched the rabbit collapse onto the floor. Its beautiful, gem-like red eyes lost their luster, and its entire being radiated four words: Life is not worth living.
【What a cute bunny! It’s so plump. Add some cumin and it must be delicious.】
【Are you a devil? Bunnies are so cute, how could you eat bunnies! (Gulp, swallows spit)】
【Is the streamer talking to the rabbit? Translate for us, streamer! What did it say? Why did it suddenly collapse? Is it in shock?】
【Isn’t it obvious? The silly bunny realized it went to the wrong house. Bunny: Oh no, my life is forfeit!】
【It actually looks pretty convincing. The streamer seems to really be chatting with the rabbit. Can people in this world really communicate with animals? Not sure, let’s watch more.】
【Did the streamer just mention spicy rabbit head? Damn, streamer, be a human!】
Glimpsing the constantly refreshing bullet comments on her phone screen, Su Yi remembered she was still live-streaming.
She stepped closer and saw the comment urging her to “be a human” and acted troubled. “Family, you are all so kind. I want to be a human too. But just now, the bunny said that if I called my house and it responded, proving it’s my home, the bunny would voluntarily give me its head to make a spicy rabbit head—”
“You wouldn’t dare! This IS my home! If you dare touch me, my Grandma will make sure you get what’s coming to you!”
Su Yi turned her head and locked eyes with the revived, aggressive fat rabbit.
Three seconds later, the rabbit’s ears drooped as it said pitifully, “Bunnies are so cute, don’t eat the bunny~~”
Rabbit internal monologue: A great bunny knows when to bow and when to stand tall. A bunny’s revenge is never too late. As long as the green mountains remain, there is always wood to burn!
Su Yi arched an eyebrow. What a flexible little bunny.
Before she could speak, the rabbit seemed to remember something and said hurriedly, “This really is my home. I’m familiar with every room. Look if you don’t believe me!”
With that, it dashed into the kitchen.
“This is the kitchen. My Grandma makes me food here.”
Then it dashed into the master bedroom.
“This is the master bedroom. I sleep here with my Grandma.”
Su Yi followed behind with her phone, translating the rabbit’s words for the audience, her tone surprised. “You really do know the place. Is your Grandma the landlord?”
The landlord was indeed an elderly lady.
【I just tuned in and saw a rabbit doing parkour. What happened?】
【The bunny is proving its innocence, showing it’s his home haha.】
【Confirmed, this is the little bunny’s home. I’ll testify. Streamer, move out quickly.】
“Landlord? What’s that?” The rabbit stopped its parkour, looking confused.
Oh no, this touched upon its blind spot of knowledge.
While Su Yi explained that “a landlord is the owner of the house,” she picked up another phone and dialed a number. The call was answered quickly.
A young man’s voice came from the other end: “Hello? Miss Su?”
Su Yi: “Hello—”
Just as she spoke, a weight hit her foot, interrupting her.
Looking down, she saw the rabbit—which had been three meters away—now sprawling across her foot, making constant huffing sounds while its back legs kicked frantically.
“He’s not the landlord! He’s not the owner of the house! My Grandma is the owner! He’s a liar!”
This indeed wasn’t the landlord; it was the landlord’s grand-nephew. He had accompanied the elderly landlord to sign the contract back then.
The old lady had to go abroad to see her son, who had suddenly fallen ill. Expecting to stay there for a few years, she asked her grand-nephew to look after the house and told Su Yi to contact this young man, Zheng Ping, if there were any issues.
It was clear the old lady trusted this junior, but the rabbit said he was a liar? Su Yi’s brow twitched; she smelled a juicy scandal.
She immediately thought of news stories she’d seen: cunning scammers targeting empty-nesters, acting solicitous and attentive until the elders were dizzy with gratitude, only to trick them into buying a room full of expensive “health products” made of flour…
Su Yi’s sudden silence made Zheng Ping on the other end first confused, then delighted. Could it be?
The image of this tenant jumped into his mind.
She was pure and elegant, not much different from a celebrity. She spoke softly and weakly, like a little rabbit herself—clearly someone with no social experience.
“Miss Su? Is there a problem? Is a lightbulb out or is the faucet broken?”
Before her was a rabbit jumping up and down in anxiety; in her ear was a deliberately lowered, greasy “bubble voice.” Su Yi rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing. Wrong number.”
She hung up before the words even finished echoing.
Zheng Ping said “Hello?” several times. Seeing that the other side had truly disconnected, he couldn’t help but wipe sweat from his brow in annoyance. Was she playing with him?
After two seconds, he started laughing again. In a few days, she’d be coming to him in tears.
Thinking of this, his smile froze. He kicked a trash can by the side of the road in frustration. Where did that damn rabbit go?
If it hadn’t run off, the old lady would have been on the plane today. It even forced him to go out in this heat to search everywhere. When he found it, he was definitely going to turn it into a spicy rabbit head.
While Zheng Ping was hunched over, crawling through bushes and under cars to find the rabbit, Su Yi had already learned the whole story from the angry bunny.
“Why didn’t you tell your Grandma?” she asked instinctively.
Rabbit: “…Are you serious?”
Su Yi laughed. “Sorry, I forgot again that most people can’t understand animals.”
【?? Down with the riddle-talkers! Streamer, hurry up and relay the bunny’s words to us, or I’m reporting the stream.】
【Does anyone actually believe this small-time streamer who’s afraid to show her face can understand animals? The signs of a script are too obvious. Heh, the hook is straight and the bait is salty, but I admit I’m hooked. I want to see what kind of drama is being cooked up this time.】
【People who keep others in suspense don’t get seasoning packets in their instant noodles. Did you hear that, streamer?】
“I don’t have your Grandma’s number. If I ask that man for it, he’ll definitely catch on. Do you still remember the way to her home?” Su Yi asked. “Also, what if your Grandma has already left?”
The rabbit replied smugly, “Of course I remember the way! I’m not some common, stupid bunny. You don’t need to worry about that. My Grandma definitely hasn’t left. With me missing, she absolutely wouldn’t feel right leaving like that.”
At this point, the little creature threw a cute punch. “That man is a wolf in sheep’s clothing!”
Grandma couldn’t easily take it abroad, so she had no choice but to entrust it to a relative. She never expected that the relative would be a bad one.
He would never imagine that his actions were all seen by the rabbit. Grandma and their home would be protected by this smart and witty little bunny!
“Alright, let’s go.”
Su Yi scooped up the teeth-gritting, air-punching rabbit with one hand and held her phone with the other.
“There’s more excitement coming up. Don’t go away, family~”
【Wow, we’re going on location! Are we taking the bunny home?】
【First we had textbooks about tadpoles looking for their mother; now we have a livestream with a bunny looking for its Grandma. This whole pet-content segment is going to be legendary~~】
【I feel like it’s not just as simple as taking it home. What does “that man will catch on” mean? I smell the aroma of a scandal.】
【Dammit, my curiosity is completely piqued. Even if it’s a pre-planned scandal, I’m eating this drama! Streamer, you better have something big coming, not just a load of hot air.】
Su Yi scanned a shared bike. Following the “Bunny GPS,” she made several turns and, half an hour later, arrived at the destination.
“Impressive, little rabbit. You have a great memory,” Su Yi praised, raising her hand to knock on the door.
The rabbit had no time for pride; it scratched the door frantically. “Grandma, Grandma, open up! Bunny is back!”
Soon, hurried footsteps sounded from inside.
“Did you find the bunny, Ping-ping?” A kind-looking elderly lady appeared, her face currently filled with anxiety.
The next moment, she saw the rabbit in Su Yi’s arms, flailing its paws and trying to pounce on her. She gasped a prayer of thanks. “Tutu!”
“Grandma!”
The two of them embraced tightly.
Su Yi adjusted her camera angle to avoid filming the old lady’s face directly while thinking to herself: So the name really is Tutu. What a simple and blunt name.
“Hello, Grandma Zheng. Tutu ran back to the old place. I’m your tenant, do you remember me?” Su Yi said with a smile.
“What! So he ran back there? It’s so far, how did he get there? No wonder we couldn’t find him—” Zheng Sufen exclaimed, quickly wiping her tears as she carefully looked at the beautiful young girl before her. “Xiao Su?”
Su Yi nodded. “Grandma Zheng, Tutu told me something.”
She cut straight to the point before the old lady could offer her thanks. Two sentences left the woman frozen in place.
“Your grand-nephew intends to sell your house while you are abroad. He forged a fake contract and house deed, claiming it’s an ‘insider listing’ to sell it at a low price. He was just waiting for you to leave so the buyers could come to view the property.”