The end-of-semester ceremony had arrived. Ever since the exams ended, the classroom had been in constant commotion, and now it was even more chaotic. The homeroom teacher threw in a jab, asking if we were being this loud knowing we’d be seniors next year, but no one paid him any attention. Just like the saying, “Leave tomorrow’s problems to tomorrow’s me,” everyone clearly thought they could leave senior year problems to their future senior-year selves.
I half-listened to the teacher’s advice and turned my eyes toward the window seat. The sky was dark and heavy, as if a sudden downpour was coming. I regretted not bringing one of those umbrellas rolling around by the entrance. In the middle of that thought, I accidentally made eye contact with Jung Suwon. Sitting near the window, he must’ve felt me looking at him, because the moment our eyes met, he immediately turned his head away.
I wasn’t even staring at him. That was a bit harsh. Watching him avoid my gaze made me feel strangely awkward.
“Oh, right—Yoon Seonwoo. Come down to the teacher’s office for a moment.”
I was spacing out when the teacher’s voice reached my ears. Everyone’s eyes turned toward me as I was suddenly called out. I could also feel Park Sion’s gaze. The only person not looking at me was Jung Suwon, the one who had just avoided my eyes.
Since I’d been going about my school life quietly and without trouble, just like the teacher wanted, his summons caught me off guard. When Park Sion nudged my side as if to ask what was going on, I just shrugged, like I had no idea either. The teacher wrapped up homeroom and strolled out of the classroom. Judging by his springy footsteps, it seemed the joy of summer break wasn’t something only students felt.
“Nothing going on lately, right?”
The first thing the teacher said as soon as I stepped into the office was a question about whether anything was going on. My days were uneventful, really. No one was bullying me, and I wasn’t bullying anyone either. Now that I thought about it, it had been a while since school life felt this peaceful. I silently nodded. The teacher tilted his head, like my calm response was unexpected.
“Really, nothing?”
“Yes. Nothing.”
“You can tell me the truth, you know.”
“There’s really nothing.”
“That’s weird.”
He tilted his head again, looking puzzled.
“Suwon said he was worried about you.”
A name I wasn’t expecting suddenly came out of his mouth. Jung Suwon—the same guy who looked disgusted just making eye contact with me—was worried about me? I stared at the teacher in disbelief and asked again, wide-eyed.
“Worried? Jung Suwon? Why?”
“Actually, Suwon’s transferring to another school.”
“…What?”
Suddenly I was talking like I’d turned into Kim Youngjin, every sentence coming out with a question mark at the end. Why the hell would he be worried about me? And what’s this about transferring?
“I can’t give you the details, but anyway, before he transfers, he said he was worried about your social life.”
“My… social life?”
“Is someone bullying you? You can be honest with me.”
I should’ve told him that far from being bullied, I was actually enjoying school life with the first friends I’ve ever made. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I was confused. The words Jung Suwon, transfer, social life, and worry swirled around in my head like a mess. What the hell is this?
“This isn’t something you can just keep to yourself. If you need help, you have to know how to ask for it.”
Maybe he took my silence as agreement, because the teacher kept pressing with concern. I hurriedly shoved the tangled mess of thoughts into a corner of my mind and barely managed to shake my head.
“There’s really nothing wrong. I’m doing fine.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“If that’s true, that’s good. But why would that kid say something like that?”
“What exactly did he say?”
“He said you got mixed up with some bad kids and that you were being bullied.”
These days, the only people I spent time with were Park Sion, Kim Youngjin, and the distant Shin Jaeyoung. Maybe Jung Suwon considered Park Sion’s group to be bad news and was worried about me for that reason. I guess that would make sense, since he clearly didn’t like Sion. But being bullied? What on earth gave him that idea? No matter how hard I thought about it, the only thing that came up was more confusion. One question just led to another.
“Seonwoo, who are you close with these days?”
“Park Sion.”
“Park Sion? You’re close with him?”
“Yes.”
The teacher just blinked, then asked again with a baffled look. Was it that surprising that I was close with Park Sion? Well, now that I thought about it… I guess it was a bit unexpected.
“None of the rougher kids have ever picked on you?”
“Not once.”
The teacher made a face kind of like mine—like he didn’t really understand what was going on. These days, the person I was closest to was Park Sion, the model student and object of admiration by just about everyone. But the teacher seemed to believe there was no way he could be the “bad influence” Jung Suwon had mentioned.
“Must’ve been a misunderstanding on Suwon’s part. Still, if anything happens, don’t hesitate to come talk to me.”
He let out a sigh with a hint of laughter. My confusion hadn’t been resolved at all, but the teacher seemed ready to dismiss the whole thing as just some minor mix-up. He gave me a look that said I could go now and started pounding his own neck and shoulders with his fists. But my feet didn’t move. He was already sitting at his desk again, staring at the monitor, when I called out to him cautiously.
“But, teacher.”
“Yeah?”
“Is Jung Suwon really transferring?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Transferring this close to senior year? That was rare. The teacher didn’t seem keen on giving me any details. He just squinted one eye, let out a shallow sigh, and looked like someone who was choosing his words very carefully.
“Ask him yourself. And don’t go spreading this around.”
Now that I thought about it, when someone transfers schools, it’s normal to at least say a goodbye to their classmates. But Jung Suwon hadn’t even done that. It was like he was deliberately trying to hide that he was leaving.
In the end, all my conversation with the teacher did was leave a foul sense of unease. Park Sion had insisted he wasn’t some thug. That what happened at the snack shop was just a mistake, and that he had no connection whatsoever to Jung Suwon. He told me to trust him. And just from that one sentence, I’d thrown away every shred of doubt I had about him.
But now, that ember of suspicion toward Park Sion… was flickering to life again.
My heart stirred again. If, like Park Sion said, he really had no connection to Jung Suwon, then why would Jung Suwon talk to the teacher about my friendships? Was one of them lying?
Suddenly, I remembered the hand that used to brush back my hair in a comforting gesture, and those eyes that would turn sharp whenever the word “father” came up, only to fall silent with a heavy gaze. I clenched my molars hard.
There had to be some kind of misunderstanding. Since Park Sion has a cold expression, maybe Jung Suwon misunderstood him on his own. It’s often the case that small, insignificant things pile up and shape an image of someone, and that image becomes a preconception that clouds your perception. It’s so easy to misread people.
I hurried back to the classroom. It’s not like I’d get any answers just sitting around and thinking by myself. I needed a proper explanation from him.
Luckily, I spotted Jung Suwon near the hallway on my way back. He was holding a trash bin, and when he saw me, he stopped in his tracks. I expected him to avoid my gaze again, but this time, he didn’t. After calmly scanning the area, he met my eyes directly as I approached him. As he walked past me, Jung Suwon said quietly, “Let’s talk.”
The words I was about to say came out of his mouth instead. Without a word, I followed Jung Suwon as he walked away. For someone who said “let’s talk,” he didn’t seem the least bit concerned about whether I was keeping up. He just kept walking silently, never once looking back.
When we reached the incineration site behind the school, where no one usually came, Jung Suwon finally stopped walking. I looked at his broad back and said, “You’re really transferring?”
He didn’t turn around. Instead, he reached behind a large trash bin next to the incinerator and pulled out a shopping bag. Through the torn plastic, I saw something familiar. It was a gym uniform—slightly scorched, but clearly from our school.
“This is yours, right?” he asked, handing the shopping bag to me. Looking closely, I saw my name stitched into the pant leg. It was the one Kim Youngjin had lost…
“…Why is this here?”
“Someone threw it away. I picked it up.”
“Why didn’t you just leave it?”
“I wanted to show you.”
I couldn’t understand his words or actions. I let the gym uniform drop to the ground. It was too dirty to wear again anyway.
“Why did you want to show me this?”
“Because I wanted you to know who threw it away. Aren’t you curious? About the asshole who dumped your perfectly fine gym clothes in the incinerator?”
I stared at Jung Suwon. To be honest, I wasn’t curious at all. Other than Park Sion and Kim Youngjin, no one at school really liked me. I didn’t have the time or energy to care about every single guy who hated me. Even if he told me a name, it probably wouldn’t be someone I even knew.
Besides, seeing my ruined gym clothes gave me a weird sense of relief. If the “bad kids” Jung Suwon talked about to the teacher didn’t include Park Sion, then I had nothing to worry about. He must’ve seen someone tossing my uniform and gotten worried on my behalf.
The anxiety that had been pounding in my chest moments ago calmed down. The doubts I’d been carrying vanished in an instant, and a faint smile spread across my face. But when I smiled, Jung Suwon’s expression hardened—more solid than the asphalt beneath our feet.
“This is what made you go to the teacher? Seriously?” I asked, still with a slight laugh in my voice. “It’s nothing. There are plenty of people who hate me. This level of bullying is honestly cute—”
“Yoon Seonwoo.”
But Jung Suwon cut me off. His face twisted up in pain. Why was he making that expression?
“It was Park Sion.”
“…What?”
“The one who threw out your gym uniform. It was Park Sion.”
The sentence just wouldn’t register in my mind. Every time I tried to follow the thought, an error popped up in my head. What the hell did my scorched gym uniform have to do with Park Sion? Why would he throw away my stuff? He’s my friend.
“I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t want to get involved with that bastard. So I pretended I didn’t know.”
“What are you even saying right now?”
“…I’m sorry.”
Jung Suwon’s pupils trembled. And with the same rhythm, so did his Adam’s apple. When I looked closely at his face, which I’d thought was stiff with anger, I saw something else. It wasn’t rage—it was shame, anxiety, fear. Emotions I knew all too well were pouring out of him.
“Hold on, I really don’t get it right now… Why would Park Sion even…”
I was overwhelmed. More than when Kim Shinju punched me out of nowhere. More than when I suddenly got the news about my dad’s accident.
“Yoon Seonwoo, look at me. Do you really believe I did that on purpose?”
He clearly said he didn’t do it. And I erased all doubt based on that one sentence. Sure, he could be annoying sometimes, maybe even clingy, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Definitely not.
And more than anything—why would Park Sion go out of his way to do something like that to me? He had no reason to. He’s the one who bought me a new gym uniform. If this was bullying, it was a weird, lukewarm, petty kind of bullying.
My head was a mess. Could I even believe what Jung Suwon was saying? And the moment the arrowhead of my suspicion shifted from Park Sion and started pointing at Jung Suwon instead—
He stepped closer.
“Don’t trust Park Sion.”
You can trust me.
His voice, thick with emotion, sounded desperate, like he was barely holding himself together. His hand gripped my shoulder, rough and pressing hard. But even then, Park Sion’s voice rang in my ears like a buzzing echo.
That bastard’s a piece of shit.
You’re different. You’re special to me.
It was dizzying. My world, once clearly divided between black and white, truth and lies, like and hate, was starting to crack. And through those cracks, everything was bleeding together in confusion.
Is this what it feels like to be speechless? I had so many things I wanted to ask, but not a single word would come out. I kept swallowing my half-formed sentences until my throat started to ache. Jung Suwon’s eyes, up close, were simmering with quiet heat.
“Why? Why shouldn’t I trust Park Sion?”
If he was going to plant this seed of doubt in me, then the least he could do was give a real reason. “Don’t trust him” wasn’t enough. Not after everything I’d been through with Park Sion.
During the time we spent together, Park Sion had been a pretty good friend. The things I had once expected from Jung Suwon—casual words, gentle touches—didn’t come from him but from Park Sion. It was Park Sion who sympathized with my situation and approached me first. Sometimes he was hard to read and frustrating, but I had never once felt any hostility from him.
“Why would Park Sion do something like that? He has no reason to.”
“I don’t know why he did it either.”
“Do you have any proof he threw away the gym uniform?”
“No. All I’ve got is what I saw.”
“Then how do you expect me to believe you? You couldn’t even stand it when I tried to talk to you before. And now suddenly I’m supposed to ignore Park Sion and believe you? Just like that?”
My raised voice rang out across the empty space. I took a slow breath to calm myself. A strange unease welled up, but I forced it down. If there was a misunderstanding, it could be resolved. Besides, what Jung Suwon was saying didn’t make any sense right now.
“I don’t know what happened between you and Park Sion, but he’s not that bad of a guy.”
“Yoon Seonwoo.”
“Sounds like something just got misinterpreted between the two of you—”
“Do you know three first-years at our school got jumped before you transferred in?”
Jung Suwon stepped closer, fists clenched tight. The look in his eyes burned with fury. Suddenly I remembered when I first met him. It was quite a while after he transferred. Back then, the homeroom teacher had said Jung Suwon had been hospitalized.
“Why do you think they got jumped?”
I was afraid of what would come out of his mouth. My throat was dry and stiff from the tension. Facing me as I stood there speechless, he opened his mouth.
“Not long after the semester started, I got jumped by a bunch of guys I didn’t even know. It was on my way home. At first I figured they were just punks from around the neighborhood. They weren’t in the same grade, and I’d never seen them before. But turns out they were first-years from our school. Doesn’t that seem weird to you? Why would guys who have nothing to do with me do something like that? If someone didn’t put them up to it, there’d be no reason.”
His sharp eyes twisted painfully. His lips trembled as he tried to keep his anger in check.
“You’re saying Park Sion told them to do it?”
“Yeah.”
“The police said that? They named Park Sion?”
“No. But to me, there’s no one else it could’ve been. I’m sure it was him.”
Jung Suwon’s gaze seemed honest, but his claims had no foundation. His reasoning felt entirely subjective. I let out a long sigh and spoke.
“That’s all just what you think.”
I didn’t even realize how sharp my voice had become. I’d gone through something similar, and yet here I was, poking holes in everything he said. Instead of sympathizing with his pain, I was dissecting whether what he said was credible. Because I didn’t want to believe him. Because I wanted to keep believing in Park Sion.
The suspicion and doubt in my eyes were obvious, and they pierced straight into Jung Suwon. He straightened his back and spoke in a firm voice.
“You’re right. I don’t have any physical proof. Maybe it really is just a baseless conviction. But I don’t think I’m wrong.”
“Why?”
“Because that bastard… apologized to me.”
Jung Suwon spoke through gritted teeth. The veins on his clenched fists looked like they were about to burst. He took a ragged breath as if trying to swallow the fury and locked eyes with me.
“Me and Park Sion, we never had any real connection. We just happened to be in the same classroom. That was it.”
“Then why would he…”
“Because I pissed him off.”
He paused, like he was trying to force down the wave of emotions rising inside him. I had a million questions, but I waited in silence for him to continue. Jung Suwon bit his lip hard, like he was digging through memories he didn’t want to recall, and went on.
“Honestly, it wasn’t even a big deal. During gym class, I got hit by a ball that bastard threw. That kind of thing happens all the time, right? People get hit during games. But the problem was, he just walked off like nothing happened.”
“So?”
“So I told him to apologize. It’s common decency. Even if it was an accident, you apologize if you hit someone. But that fucker just smirked and ignored me. He tried to walk off without saying a single word. It pissed me off so bad, I picked up the ball and threw it back at him. Hit him right in the face. That’s how it started.”
For the first time, Jung Suwon told me about his past with Park Sion. I had never heard any of this before. Park Sion had told me there was no connection between him and Jung Suwon. Was it because he didn’t remember this? Or had he been hiding it on purpose?
For some reason, I could clearly picture it in my mind—Jung Suwon with a bruised face, Park Sion smiling slowly while locking eyes with him.
“I kept telling him to apologize. I said if he did, I’d say sorry for throwing the ball at him. But every time, that bastard just laughed in my face. He was never going to apologize. So every time we crossed paths, I asked him again. That’s all I did—kept asking him to apologize.”
“And what did Park Sion say when you did that?”
“He ignored me. Looked at me like I was some kind of bug.”
I’d felt that same gaze from Park Sion before—that strangely murky, cold stare. It always made me uncomfortable.
“Then not long after, those first-years dragged me off and beat the shit out of me. At first, I didn’t think it was Park Sion. I mean, come on. All I asked for was an apology. Why would he go so far as to use younger students to do something so dangerous? But…”
Jung Suwon trailed off. I stopped breathing too.
“The first day I came back to school after getting out of the hospital, that bastard looked at me… and grinned.”
“…”
“While saying ‘Sorry.’”
The word “sorry” shook on Jung Suwon’s lips.
On the surface, there was nothing wrong with what happened. Jung Suwon had gotten the apology he wanted. But I could tell—that apology had crushed what was left of his pride. Because it wasn’t an apology. It was mockery dressed up in apology’s clothes. I could see it, plain on his face—that unbearable humiliation he was still holding in. His thick eyebrows were furrowed so hard they nearly met.
“That bastard didn’t say a word when I demanded an apology. Then the moment he saw me again, he says ‘sorry’ just like that.”
“…”
“Fucking laughing as he did it.”
Jung Suwon had stood up to Park Sion in a fair way. But all he got in return was that throwaway “sorry,” tossed out like spare change. A word so hollow it didn’t carry a shred of sincerity. What must that have felt like for him? I remembered the face he’d made in the snack shop, too—when Park Sion spilled cup noodles and apologized. That same look.
His eyes were bloodshot, like he might burst into tears any second. But he didn’t.
“He’s the kind of bastard who beats someone nearly crippled just because they got on his nerves. The kind of fucker who doesn’t want to dirty his own hands, so he gets brainless little flunkies to do his shit for him. You can’t get involved with someone like that.”
Jung Suwon gritted his teeth. I could feel every bit of what he felt. But still… did Park Sion really go that far just to mess with him? All because someone asked him to apologize? And those younger students—why would they go that far just to follow his orders? Was something like that even possible?
Just then, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I didn’t even bother checking who it was from. I had a pretty good idea. I ignored the vibration and looked at Jung Suwon again.
“So that’s why you’re transferring? Just to avoid him?”
“Yeah.”