I ignored him and started walking again. I just wanted to flag down any taxi and get out of here as quickly as possible. While I was scanning the street for one, Shin Jaeyoung slipped right back next to me.
“Watching you two lately has been real entertaining.”
“Entertaining?”
Shin Jaeyoung grinned with that mischievous expression of his. In the blink of an eye, I’d been reduced to his personal little spectacle. I glared at him coldly. He just scoffed at me. His gaze studied my face closely before he shifted his posture slightly. That usual playful demeanor vanished for a moment. Narrowing his eyes, he spoke.
“The way I see it, your problem is tunnel vision. You’ve got a decent face, but your brain’s all clogged up.”
He tapped lightly on my temple with his finger. His tone was unusually calm and composed. But it didn’t last. A moment later, he licked his lips and slid back into that cocky drawl.
“People probably call you rigid a lot, huh?”
His little assessment was something I’d been sick of hearing since I was a kid. But I didn’t bother replying. Shin Jaeyoung didn’t seem to expect an answer anyway. He just smirked that irritating smirk of his.
“That’s why you don’t even know who’s on your side or not. And you keep acting all cold to me.”
There he goes again. Shin Jaeyoung’s vague way of speaking always managed to get under my skin. I didn’t want to let him mess with me. I snapped, scowling hard.
“If you're just gonna keep talking in circles, shut the hell up. What the fuck are you even trying to say?”
“You know the face you make when your brain short-circuits? It’s fucking adorable.”
He laughed through his nose and scanned my face. Then he stepped closer and gave my shoulder a soft pat. A strange sense of déjà vu hit me hard. That suffocating feeling I used to get whenever I was alone with Kim Shinju—it was back. My body tensed instinctively, like a warning going off inside me.
A razor-thin gaze grazed my cheek. I felt like I’d been cornered. But I forced myself to hold his gaze, swallowing hard. This was a battle of wills. If I backed down now, I’d lose. So I straightened up and stared him down.
Shin Jaeyoung looked at my openly hostile expression and spoke slowly.
“You know what guys with fast brains but narrow vision all have in common? They only think the world works the way they want it to.”
A breathy laugh whistled past my ear. A shiver ran down my spine at the way his voice slipped right in.
“Sometimes you gotta fear arrogance more than stupidity.”
He whistled as he tilted his head toward the street. I followed his gaze and saw a taxi approaching. I wanted to get in it immediately, but my legs felt like they were rooted to the ground. Shin Jaeyoung flagged it down and, after glancing briefly at me still frozen in place, climbed in first. The window rolled down a second later. He looked at me and said,
“Aww, is our Seonwoo having another brain cramp? Adorable.”
Leaving behind nothing but his cryptic talk about allies and enemies, stupidity and arrogance, Shin Jaeyoung disappeared down the street.
Said he’d pay for the taxi, too. What a fucking asshole.
I walked out of the alley and headed toward the main road. The dark blue of night had settled thick around me. Streetlights blinked in and out. Somewhere, warm wind blew past. The humid air smelled faintly of rain. Shin Jaeyoung’s words kept echoing in my ears.
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out what his angle was. That line about fearing arrogance more than stupidity felt abstract and hollow. Was he dropping hints? Or just mocking me again? Maybe both.
After walking for a while, I finally remembered my phone and pulled it out. Just as expected, Park Sion had left me a flood of messages. I had hoped maybe he hadn’t—but of course, he had. I flicked through them one by one. The messages weren’t much: he said he was sorry, that he’d wait.
But I couldn’t figure out what he was sorry for. Was it for throwing away my gym uniform? Or for getting caught being possessive in a way no friend should be?
Suddenly, Shin Jaeyoung’s talk about allies and enemies popped back into my head. I didn’t actually think he was on my side. Not even close. But there was something in the way he talked… like he was suspicious of Park Sion’s actions. Maybe that whole allies and enemies thing was his way of warning me—that Park Sion, under the disguise of friendship, was doing fucked-up things to me.
But then why the hell would he help me? Did I totally misread it again? Ugh, whatever. I really hate guys like Shin Jaeyoung—no, I just hate him.
Today was a fucking bizarre day. All I ever wanted was a quiet, peaceful school life, but way too much had happened in just one day. Jung Suwon’s revelation, Park Sion’s confession, and Shin Jaeyoung’s mockery disguised as insight. Not a single one gave me a clear answer.
Jung Suwon spoke like his personal interpretation was objective fact.
Park Sion leaned entirely on his looks and emotions.
Shin Jaeyoung’s cryptic bullshit sounded deep but was just empty.
Everyone just said whatever they wanted from their own point of view. The line between truth and lies was blurry, tangled up in opinions pretending to be facts. My brain felt overloaded. Nothing made sense.
So I just kept walking, trying to sort it out. But all that did was make my legs hurt. Eventually, I flagged down a taxi and took it home.
When I got to my apartment complex, a light drizzle had started. I raised my palm to shield my head and was about to run for the building when I spotted a familiar silhouette sitting on the front steps.
My legs froze.
This day really was cursed. The annoyances just wouldn’t end.
“…What the hell? Why are you here?”
I trudged closer to the stairs. Park Sion slowly looked up from staring at his shoes. His bangs were damp, sticking to his forehead. Don’t tell me… he’d been waiting here this whole time? When he said he’d wait, he didn’t mean emotionally. He meant literally outside my house?
“You’re finally home?”
“…What the hell are you doing here?”
My voice came out sharp without me meaning to. After everything that happened today, I was exhausted and irritated beyond belief. I sighed deeply, and Park Sion suddenly thrust a paper bag at me. White, with the logo of that famous porridge place. It bumped into me as he held it out.
So this was what he’d waited out here to give me?
A sigh burst from deep in my chest. He hesitated, then quietly said,
“You said your head hurt…”
“…God. What are you even trying to do right now?”
“You can’t take meds on an empty stomach.”
“……”
“Did I… do something wrong again?”
He looked at me carefully, his voice barely above a whisper. His face had gone pale. Honestly, he looked more like the sick one than I did. I glanced up at the drizzle—it was falling heavier now. He was still in his school uniform. No umbrella either. Looked like it might start pouring any minute.
“Where’s your umbrella?”
“Huh?”
“Did you seriously not bring one? It’s raining.”
“I gave it to you earlier.”
A sigh escaped my mouth without permission. Rich kid like him only has one umbrella? Buy a new one or something. I stared at Park Sion, who had waited outside my building near midnight, face pale as a ghost, and felt completely dumbfounded.
Under the motion-sensor porch light, his face gave away nothing. His eyes were cast down, lashes trembling slightly. The yellow glow hit the bridge of his nose, casting sharp shadows. His red lips parted like he wanted to say something, then closed again.
He looked so pitiful and small all of a sudden, I completely lost my words and just stared at him.
Should I really send him home like this, with no umbrella, when he’s clearly not doing well?
While I was still debating, my mouth moved on its own.
“It’s raining. Just come inside for now.”
That wasn’t rational. That wasn’t something my brain approved. I was just too exhausted, and it slipped out. The second I said it, disbelief washed over me. I was already too late to take it back.
The uncertainty in Park Sion’s eyes lit up with a strange kind of joy. Shit. I’d gotten sucked into his rhythm again.
As soon as we got home, I moved quickly. I handed him a towel, found clothes for him to change into, and started boiling water for tea. While I rushed around, Park Sion just sat there pale-faced, watching me. I could feel his eyes tracking my every move, but I kept pretending I didn’t notice.
“Hey. Go take a shower and get changed first.”
I forced my expression to harden.
Park Sion, having taken the clothes from me, sat down on the sofa and quietly looked up at me. Normally, he was taller than me and always looked down at me one-sidedly, but this newly reversed eye level felt unfamiliar.
Neither of us said anything. A thick silence fell between us. After a moment, Park Sion slowly got up from the sofa and walked toward the bathroom. Only then did I suck in the breath I’d been holding back.
The sound of water coming from the bathroom mixed with the sound of rain outside the window. The regular noise falling from top to bottom gave a sense of stability. I kneaded my stiff shoulders with my hand and loosened up. Having been hounded all day, extreme fatigue surged in. I leaned my head against the sofa. My eyes closed by themselves. I dozed off like that.
How much time had passed? I felt something cold touch my cheek. When I opened my eyes, Park Sion was looking down at me. His long fingers were rubbing my cheek. At the same time, a couple of water droplets from his wet hair dripped onto my cheek. His gaze lingered on my cheek for a while before it fell. Park Sion carefully sat down beneath the sofa. Hugging his knees with both arms, he quietly said to me.
“Sorry for waking you. You looked uncomfortable sleeping.”
His low voice burrowed into my ear. The familiar scent of shampoo brushed gently against the tip of my nose. My eyes were drawn to the path of the water droplets trailing down Park Sion’s cheek. Maybe because I was still half-asleep, my hand went out to his slightly flushed cheek without realizing. He feels warm. Maybe he’s running a fever. Did I have any medicine at home?
As soon as I touched him, the corners of Park Sion’s mouth faintly lifted. That smile jolted me awake. I tried to pull my hand away in a hurry, but Park Sion caught it again.
“I thought you had a fever…”
I muttered, almost like an excuse, as I awkwardly straightened up. What the hell had I just done? I started to realize that it wasn’t just Park Sion who kept crossing the silent boundary between us. Maybe I wasn’t in any position to call him a crazy bastard.
“I’m fine. I don’t have a fever.”
“That’s a relief.”
Whenever I stand in front of Park Sion, I feel like I’m not myself. I’d dissected Jung Suwon’s revelations and Shin Jaeyoung’s advice with reason, but I was getting dragged around helplessly when it came to Park Sion.
Before I could criticize what he’d done, I felt sorry seeing him soaked in the rain. Before I could question his motives, I worried whether he’d catch a cold. It felt so unfamiliar—me being someone this sentimental, this soft.
But unlike me, tangled in confusion, Park Sion looked relatively calm. That pitiful gaze that had made him look like a drenched puppy was already gone.
“Are you feeling better now?”
There was no doubt that Park Sion was a sly bastard. With that one question—are you feeling better now—he reduced everything that happened earlier in the afternoon to just a minor hiccup. The way he said it made it feel like I was the one throwing a fit for no reason.
He acted like as long as my mood improved, everything would go back to normal. It made me feel stupid for spending the entire day wondering whether I should cut him off for good.
“I was really upset that you got so angry at me.”
Park Sion sat down in front of me, who was still on the couch. From where he sat on the floor, he lowered his head onto my knees. His voice dragged, like he was whining. I froze in place, not knowing what to do. Then, suddenly, Park Sion’s gaze sharpened.
“It was Jung Suwon, wasn’t it?”
Hearing Jung Suwon’s name out of nowhere made me press my lips together. Park Sion slowly lifted his head and took my hand.
“You heard about the gym uniform from him, didn’t you?”
He spoke like he already knew everything. The air felt suffocating. I was the one who was supposed to do the questioning, but it felt like I was the one being interrogated. Park Sion gently rubbed the hand he was holding, then looked up and met my eyes. His brows wrinkled with pain. His gloomy gaze bored into me.
“Then I guess you heard the rest, too.”
He must’ve meant the incident between him and Suwon. I unconsciously avoided his eyes. I didn’t answer, but even with just that foolish response, Park Sion would’ve seen through everything. He was that sharp.
Suddenly, the air around us went cold. He reached up with his hand and gently turned my chin toward him. Then, I heard my name.
“Seonwoo. Look at me.”
Slowly, I turned my head and looked at Park Sion. His clear but empty eyes were trembling. His stiff face cracked slightly as he bit his lip. Something about his expression looked hurt, almost pitiful. I stared at him blankly. A droplet of water slid down from his still-damp hair. It looked like a tear, and I nearly reached out again without realizing.
“Why won’t you ask?”
“Ask what?”
“Why aren’t you asking whether what Suwon said is true?”
“You said the gym uniform thing was you, didn’t you.”
“I’m not talking about that. You heard the rest too.”
What happened between Park Sion and Jung Suwon wasn’t something I had the right to weigh in on. That’s why I didn’t ask. Suwon had transferred schools just to avoid Park Sion—so even if I knew the truth, what difference would it make? But Park Sion looked genuinely hurt that I hadn’t asked.
“You said you wouldn’t think it all through by yourself. You said you’d ask me.”
“……”
“You said that yourself.”
He was right. Not long ago, Park Sion had told me—if I was curious, I should ask him directly. That before judging him on my own, I should try to hear him out. Maybe what he really meant was that no matter what happened, he wanted me to make an effort to understand him first. Park Sion called my name again, the name that was frozen in place like a rock.
Seonwoo.
His eyes, filled with deep darkness, trembled with longing.
“Can’t you focus on me, instead of being swayed by other people?”
Unfortunately, Park Sion didn’t realize that I was already focusing on him far too much. If I hadn’t been, there wouldn’t be anything so complicated about this. I could’ve just ended things cleanly and been done with it.
But I couldn’t bring myself to push away this lunatic who couldn’t even tolerate me lending someone a gym uniform. Park Sion had already become that important to me.
Besides, I’d never lost my balance. Not Jung Suwon, not Shin Jaeyoung—none of them could shake me. Park Sion just didn’t know that.
The one who was shaking me the most right now—was Park Sion.
His steady gaze stuck to me. His eyelashes trembled faintly. I couldn’t say a word. For a moment, we just stared at each other. He stayed quiet, waiting for me to speak.
So this is what you’re asking for. You want me to ask. You want me to look you in the eye and try to understand you.
“Were things tense between you and Jung Suwon?”
“Yeah.”
“You kept ignoring him when he asked for an apology?”
“Yeah.”
“And after he got discharged, you laughed at him and then said sorry?”
“Yeah.”
“You said you’re not a bully. So why’d you do that?”
I told myself it wasn’t my business. That what happened between Park Sion and Suwon had nothing to do with me. But that dam I’d built started to collapse. And from the gaps in that crumbling wall, all the questions I’d been holding back came flooding out.
Park Sion answered each one sincerely. He didn’t make any pathetic excuses. My gaze began to waver. It was time to ask the most important question. After a long pause, my lips barely moved.
“…Did you really make the underclassmen beat up Suwon?”
“No. I never did.”
For the first time, Park Sion said no. His voice was firm. His straight, unwavering eyes stared directly at me. Strangely, I felt a kind of relief. Like maybe—just maybe—he wasn’t some cowardly piece of shit who hurt people behind the scenes.
I asked one more question.
“Then why’d you lie to me in the first place?”
“Because I was afraid you’d hate me. That you’d see me as no different from the guys who tormented you. That you’d condemn me like that.”
I could feel heightened emotion in Park Sion’s trembling voice. I couldn’t tell if it was injustice or anger. But how did Park Sion know I was bullied? On the surface, I was still labeled the perpetrator, and I had never talked about the incident in detail. But the haze of rising questions dissolved at the sound of Park Sion’s next words.
“I did ignore Jung Suwon. It’s true I acted like a dick on purpose because he kept bugging me to apologize over something so petty. But I swear I never even laid a finger on that fucker. He talks like I ordered people to go after him, but I don’t even know those first-years, and there’s no proof I ever told anyone anything. It’s all in that bastard’s head.”
His wavering eyes looked at me. He looked truly wronged. Desperately, Park Sion clung to my arm and smoothed out my collar with his fingers.
“The reason I said sorry to him after he was discharged was just…”
“…”
“…because I thought it’d fuck with him. That’s the only reason.”
I was momentarily speechless at his confession that he apologized just to make Suwon feel like shit. What threw me off was how genuinely kind Park Sion’s eyes looked as he said it. How could someone confess they wanted to screw someone over and still look so heartbreakingly sincere? His glassy eyes shone faintly.
“I’m not a good guy. I’ll admit that. I’ve got a twisted personality and no manners.”
Park Sion knew exactly what kind of person he was. Without hiding anything, he laid bare his crooked, jagged nature to me. As if he had no intention of hiding anymore.
“I don’t give a shit about other people’s problems and I don’t want to. But when it comes to you, I can’t help it. I keep wanting to know more about you. I want to be the only one who knows. I want to obsess over you. I want to own you. I hated the thought of you seeing this side of me. That’s why I did it.”
For a moment, our eyes locked. I could feel Park Sion’s nervousness from the warmth between our fingers. As he held my gaze, he slightly lowered his head. A deep sigh scattered into the air.
“I was scared you’d hate me.”
Park Sion raised his head. The mask he’d been wearing wasn’t anything special after all. Beneath it was a face just like any other boy my age.
The kind of face you put on when trying to get close to someone—you fix yourself up just enough while hiding your uglier sides. The kind of ordinary instinct to look good for others by pretending to be kind, by pretending to be impressive. That average side, which everyone has and which never looks cool, didn’t quite fit the Park Sion I thought was perfect. But his sincerity came at me with an unfamiliar weight.
I quietly stared at Park Sion’s trembling eyes. There was something strange about his gaze. I had no idea what kind of emotion was swirling inside it. The longer the silence dragged on, the more anxiety and urgency crept into his pupils. His hands, always cool before, felt warm now. That heated hand clutched mine tightly.
“Do you hate me now?”
I know Park Sion is good at using his head. I know he uses that pretty face to play on my sympathy. He always poked at my weak spots, always turned situations in his favor. I’d fallen for his smooth words and gotten dragged around more than once. And maybe—even now—Park Sion was trying to shake me again.
“I asked if you hate me.”
And yet, strangely, I didn’t hate him. Even though he threw tantrums for no reason, touched me whenever he wanted, crossed boundaries I drew, didn’t even give me room to feel lonely, and clung to me like a lunatic with this abnormal obsession—even knowing all that, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Even though I have an almost pathological need to stay centered and not get swayed by anyone.
More and more, I found myself thinking—so what if everything Jung Suwon said was true? Hell, can I even believe Suwon’s words were all true in the first place? If Park Sion is sitting here saying it wasn’t him, is it right to blindly accept the other side?
Thinking of Suwon made me feel a twinge of guilt, but even that was starting to feel annoying and burdensome. I kept believing what I wanted to believe. When it came to Park Sion, I lost all sense of objectivity.
But I didn’t answer his question.
Because the last shred of reason I had was still keeping my mouth shut.
“It’s late. Just stay over at my place tonight.”
“I just hope you won’t push me away over this.”
“…”
“You won’t push me away, right? You’ll still be friends with me?”
But in front of Park Sion’s pleading face, my thread of reason loosened all too easily. And once it slipped out from that tight control, my lips moved on their own.
“…Fine.”
“You’ll keep staying by my side, right?”
All that time I spent today debating whether or not to cut him off turned out to be completely meaningless. That whole internal struggle was pointless from the start. I can’t even picture what life would look like without Park Sion in it.
He constantly wrapped himself around my shoulder whenever he got the chance, resting his head on me in that ticklish way. He was annoying—but I didn’t want to imagine my days without his warmth and scent. Honestly, the more accurate way to put it would be that I don’t think I could bear it.
I fidgeted with the edge of the sofa with my fingernail and muttered,
“…Yeah. I will.”
Park Sion slowly stood up from where he’d been sitting on the floor and sat next to me. I turned my head to look at him. He was smiling so brightly it was almost unbelievable. That soft smile at the edge of his lips tickled something in my chest.
For a second, I just stared at him blankly. Then, just like always, Park Sion leaned his forehead against my shoulder. His arms slowly wrapped around my waist and held me tight. I was trying to come to my senses and wiggle out of his arms—but I stopped.
Because his breath brushed against me as he laughed.
That warm springlike air touched the nape of my neck and melted something inside me. What melted wasn’t just the suspicion and wariness I had toward Park Sion—but also the uncertainty about whatever this was between us.
Park Sion, who slipped in through the cracks left by my absent family and my familiar loneliness. He invaded my life without hesitation. Before I could even feel lonely, he took the soul out of me. I slowly ran my hand down his back as he hugged me close.
Can I really push this guy away?
Can I really ignore someone who smiles at me with a face like that?
Probably not, I thought, as I stayed there in Park Sion’s arms.