Haruko chose Miyuki. There were no surprises there. Even sadder was the fact that Jung Suwon had been rejected. Again, this wasn't unexpected.
Contrary to my earlier advice—to showcase his charm and return victorious—Jung Suwon returned bearing the news that his crush had started dating someone else. The gloomy expression wouldn't leave his usually earnest face.
Even more shocking was the identity of her new boyfriend: Kim Youngjin. It turned out our worries had been justified. Her taste really was the type of guy who's carefree and somewhat rough around the edges. The issue was that Kim Youngjin wasn't just carefree—he was an outright idiot.
“What? She's dating Kim Youngjin?”
“Yeah.”
“You heard it directly?”
“No, she posted it on social media.”
Kim Youngjin, seriously? Kim Youngjin? Jung Suwon lost out to that half-witted idiot? I shook my head in disbelief, newly appreciating the diversity of people's tastes.
“Haaaah…”
Stuffing the manga he no longer had a reason to read into his bag, Jung Suwon sighed deeply. I almost said something cliché like 'Half the world is female,' but stopped myself. The moment you fall in love, that person becomes irreplaceably unique. Loving someone isn't like choosing just one out of many. Instead, I simply patted Jung Suwon's shoulder.
“Hey, they say love is like the wind.”
“I've never cheated, though.”
“That's not what I mean. It passes by like the wind.”
My mom used to tell me it's something you can't hold onto—it easily slips by if you let it. Jung Suwon seriously contemplated my words, then slowly nodded.
Did he get what I meant?
“Seems like it.”
“So don't get too down about it. Everything gets better after three months.”
“It takes three whole months?”
“Some people recover in just a month.”
I shared one of my life's truths. It wasn't something I told just anyone—Jung Suwon was getting special treatment.
“A month, huh…”
Jung Suwon narrowed his eyes, seemingly trying to measure the remaining time he had. The pain of unrequited love: just about the right level of trial for an immature eighteen-year-old.
“Are you guys not reading the manga anymore?”
Apparently having enjoyed yesterday’s manga quite a bit, Park Sion approached my desk as soon as break started. I couldn't exactly say Jung Suwon got rejected and now hated even looking at the manga. Although several volumes were still in Jung Suwon's bag, they weren't mine, so I couldn't lend them either. I just nodded vaguely.
“That's a shame.”
Park Sion said this with an expression that didn't look regretful at all. With nothing particular to respond with, I kept silent.
I still felt a wall between us. Like I didn't especially want to get close to him. I knew now he wasn’t as bad as I'd initially thought, but something fundamentally felt inhuman about him. Maybe because he was too handsome.
An awkward silence stretched between us. I wished he'd just return to his seat now, but Park Sion didn't budge. I habitually glanced at the seat beside me. Jung Suwon stood up. It felt as if he was trying to avoid this situation, so I grabbed his arm.
“Where are you going?”
“Oh, the restroom.”
Was Jung Suwon also uncomfortable around Park Sion? Or was my gut feeling wrong again? While I hesitated, Jung Suwon quickly left the classroom. Feeling a bit hungry, I took out a piece of chocolate I'd brought from home and popped it in my mouth. Park Sion stared at me intently.
“Oh, sorry.”
Ah, that was careless. Eating alone in front of someone was such a socially awkward thing to do. My experience of being a loner was painfully obvious here. Clearly, years of isolation had made me forget basic manners. Hastily, I pulled another piece of chocolate from my pocket and offered it to Park Sion.
“Want one?”
“Thanks.”
Park Sion smiled faintly, taking the chocolate from my hand. His cold fingertips briefly brushed mine. It lasted only a fraction of a second, yet the sensation lingered vividly, causing my hand to curl slightly. Park Sion put the chocolate straight into his pocket. Apparently, he didn't intend to eat it immediately.
“You close with him?”
Park Sion nodded toward the seat beside mine.
“Jung Suwon?”
“Yeah.”
“Dunno.”
Were we close? We had gotten much friendlier recently, but we didn't even know each other's contact info. Our interactions consisted mostly of brief chats or reading manga during breaks and lunch. He was my only acquaintance, but objectively, we probably didn't look close.
Park Sion, who had been standing next to me, now sat on the desk in front of mine. The student who'd been sitting there glanced at Park Sion, who'd abruptly occupied the empty seat, then quietly stood up. Without even acknowledging him, Park Sion just continued to stare at me. Was he a loner too? Like Jung Suwon, whenever Park Sion appeared, others tended to quietly slip away.
“Are you close?”
Park Sion asked again. I still couldn't find a proper answer.
“Well, just…you know.”
I mumbled vaguely. He should understand, right? We weren't really close, nor were we strangers. I liked Jung Suwon enough, but not enough to shamelessly ask him to be friends while carrying my dirty label.
“If you’re not close with him, wanna eat lunch with me?”
An unexpected offer. That Park Sion was willing to have lunch with someone tainted by nasty rumors stirred my curiosity. Maybe Park Sion really was an outcast.
Honestly, choosing to eat with me wasn’t a trivial matter. It wasn’t something you'd do lightly or out of superficial curiosity or misguided justice. Anyone associating with me risked getting dragged into my stigma. Like how I carried the label "pervert" despite my innocence, Park Sion too could be unjustly labeled just for associating with me.
The fact that he still chose to spend time with me meant Park Sion was desperate. Had he also been alone all this time? Feeling sympathy, I looked at him sadly.
Handsome face, tall stature, broad shoulders, impeccably tidy uniform—he certainly didn't look like someone who'd end up isolated. But sometimes those who stood out got inexplicably disliked. Maybe insecure people were quietly pushing him away due to their inferiority complex about his appearance.
For me, solo lunches had become routine, so they weren't uncomfortable. Still, eating with someone else was preferable. And if Park Sion was indeed a loner, maybe I'd feel a bit easier around him.
Yet, strangely, I couldn't readily accept his offer. There was an unexplainable unease in the way Park Sion stared at me.
An instinctive discomfort. The fundamental difference between us produced a subtle yet persistent pressure.
I knew judging someone based solely on intuition wasn't fair. I understood the courage it took for Park Sion to reach out first. Yet, grabbing his outstretched hand felt strangely difficult.
“You don’t want to?”
Park Sion asked again as I remained silent. Rejecting him might disappoint him. The subtle smile had faded from his lips, replaced by a chill. Was he hurt? Had he tried this before, only to be rejected?
Well, who was I to be picky? I shook my head. Let’s eat. Let's eat together, two loners bonding over lunch.
“No, let’s eat together. I've been eating alone too.”
Park Sion's lips lifted slightly. The faint curve on his glossy red lips looked nice. It made me smile too.
It had been a year since I’d eaten with someone else.
****
Of course. My guess that Park Sion might be a loner like me was completely off the mark. Following Park Sion into the hallway, my expression immediately soured. His friends were standing there. One of them was from our class, and the other was Kim Youngjin.
Thinking back, Park Sion was the one who confronted Kim Youngjin on my first day here. He wouldn't have done that if he’d been an outcast. Having been beaten up before, I know that well. It seems I'm really clueless.
“Hey, why are you here?”
Instead of answering Kim Youngjin's question, I nodded toward Park Sion. Kim Youngjin, lacking perception as usual, shouted louder, “I mean, why are you here?” This bastard was as clueless as me.
“I asked him to eat with us.”
In contrast, Park Sion clearly had good intuition. Perhaps noticing my awkward expression, he quickly shut down Kim Youngjin's questions. In their relationship, Park Sion was Kim Youngjin’s natural enemy; Kim Youngjin instantly became docile at Park Sion’s single remark.
“So, you brought him after all.”
A familiar-looking classmate whose name I didn’t know pushed between me and Park Sion as if we were already friends. I considered asking his name but decided against it, glancing discreetly at his name tag instead—Shin Jaeyoung. As expected, a completely unfamiliar name.
“So you’re Kang Jeon, huh?”
Shin Jaeyoung chuckled, rudely tapping my chest. It was an impolite question, especially as an introduction. I nodded vaguely. Saying anything more would only be troublesome. Wearing an indifferent expression, I glanced at Park Sion and his friends as we walked.
Park Sion’s friends looked me up and down, their eyes filled with curiosity and mockery. Despite my direct gaze, they didn't look away. Suddenly, I felt a chill run down my spine.
Was all this part of some bullying scheme? Had I stupidly opened the gates of hell again? It might have been paranoia, but anxiety crept up on me. What if this was the start of me becoming their personal punching bag?
If these guys treated me like Kim Shinju had, I wouldn’t have the strength to endure the rest of my school life. Nervously, I bit my lip.
“Uncomfortable?”
Maybe sensing my anxiety, Park Sion whispered quietly.
“Yeah, a little.”
“Sorry. But they're not bad guys.”
Park Sion spoke dismissively.
Sure, they probably weren't bad people. But there was no guarantee that people who were good to Park Sion would also be good to me. Even Kim Shinju had a good reputation among his friends and was surely a precious son to his parents.
Yet, despite being a "good guy" and a beloved son, Kim Shinju treated me in the most horrible way possible. So, no matter what anyone else says, to me he’s a fucking bastard. That bastard ignored my wishes, hit me, and trampled my dignity. Was it because I was bad to Kim Shinju? No. That bastard treated me that way simply because he knew I was weaker.
Eight months spent as the punching bag of Kim Shinju and his lackeys. It was both long and short. For about half a year, I fiercely resisted. Humiliated by being beaten one-sidedly, I threw punches several times, only to get severely beaten again. Eventually, I stopped resisting because it meant I'd get hit less. That was why.
If I had never stopped resisting, what would have happened? Even if my limbs were broken, I wouldn’t have been forcibly transferred with the label of an assaulter. Kim Shinju probably wouldn’t have dared sexually assault me either. I never wanted to experience such humiliation again. Once was enough. No one should ever be treated that way.
I stopped walking toward the cafeteria.
“I’ll just eat alone.”
“…”
“But thank you for inviting me.”
Park Sion’s expression twisted abruptly. He furrowed his brow. Still, there was no helping it. Gratitude was gratitude, discomfort was discomfort. I wasn't stupid enough to walk into an obvious tiger’s den. Leaving behind Kim Youngjin, Shin Jaeyoung, and Park Sion, I swiftly turned around.
“Hey! Kang Jeon! Where are you going?”
Being alone was familiar. I'd always been alone and still was. I’d already developed immunity to loneliness. But physical pain was something I never got used to. Getting regularly beaten didn't make the pain any less severe. Getting hit repeatedly in the same spot only hurt more. We're all vulnerable to pain and have no immunity to misery.
“Kang Jeon! You're not eating?”
Kim Youngjin’s loud voice chased after me, but I neither stopped nor turned back.
I never acted arrogantly toward someone weaker than myself. I wouldn’t ask uncomfortable questions for fun, nor would I call people by names that exposed their insecurities. And I wouldn’t stand by silently if I saw someone else doing that either. That's why you and I are fundamentally different.
Fundamentally different.
That was why I rejected Park Sion’s goodwill.
****
Park Sion didn't say anything about my abrupt departure. Honestly, I felt a little anxious, but seeing him not even approach my seat until class ended, I secretly felt relieved.
Back in the classroom, I ate bread alone from the snack shop and chatted casually with Jung Suwon after he returned from lunch. Aside from the lunchtime incident, everything felt normal.
I encountered Park Sion again after all classes ended. Just as I was about to leave, Park Sion grabbed me. Shin Jaeyoung, quickly passing by, shouted loudly as he left the classroom.
“Hey, Sion’s seriously pissed!”
At those words, I looked at Park Sion standing before me. Contrary to Shin Jaeyoung’s statement, Park Sion’s expression was calm. He didn’t seem particularly angry. Jung Suwon spotted Park Sion approaching me, gave me a quick nod, and hurriedly left the classroom. Though my guess about Park Sion being a loner was wrong, Jung Suwon definitely seemed uncomfortable around him.
I asked Park Sion, who was holding onto my arm.
“What?”
“Can we talk for a moment?”
Acknowledging I might have overreacted, I quietly said, “Okay.”
I did feel somewhat sorry toward Park Sion. His good intentions had indeed placed me in an uncomfortable situation, but strictly speaking, it was Kim Youngjin and Shin Jaeyoung who upset me. From that perspective, Park Sion could feel unjustly treated.
Park Sion remained silent as we walked through the noisy hallway. Just what kind of talk required such an atmosphere?
“You take the bus, right? Let’s go to the stop together. I'll see you off.”
What a strange thing to say. What was there to see off between two guys? Of course, he probably didn’t literally mean to escort me home. He just needed an excuse to talk. It was a bit strange, but I decided to go along with it for now.
We walked at an awkward distance down the road toward the school gate. Late spring was almost over. A warm breeze blew up clouds of dust.
Whether Park Sion was angry as Shin Jaeyoung claimed, or simply quiet by nature, he remained silent. I had nothing particular to say either and just matched his steps.
Even after arriving at the quiet bus stop near the school, Park Sion remained silent. He seemed to wait until the stop was empty. Soon, the stop—once filled with students—became quiet. Around five buses I'd needed had already passed.
“What did you want to say?”
I looked impatiently at Park Sion. Exhaustion from being trapped in class all day was hitting me. I wanted him to quickly say whatever he needed so I could go home.
“Oh, I just wanted to apologize for earlier.”
It was a bland apology. I felt drained, thinking this was all he'd made me wait for.
“It’s fine. Don't worry about it.”
I spoke as brightly as possible. Actually, I should have apologized too, but I didn't feel like it. Maybe because I didn't regret my earlier decision.
But Park Sion gave no response.
I wanted to leave soon. I stretched my neck anxiously, looking toward the street. Far off, I saw the bus I had to catch.
“My bus is coming.”
That was my way of ending the conversation. He was quick on the uptake, so he probably understood my intention. I was about to nod briefly and head toward the center of the bus stop when Park Sion called my name.
“Yoon Seonwoo.”
A chilly voice scratched my ears. I turned my head from the approaching bus. Though faint beneath the noisy engine, his voice was clearly sharp—hovering dangerously between irritation and anger. As I hesitated, the bus I needed passed me by. While I stared at its departing rear with regretful eyes, Park Sion spoke again.
“I want to become close to you. How can I do that?”
Park Sion spoke softly, as if the coldness I'd heard moments earlier was an illusion. With the reddish sky of sunset behind him, he took a step toward me.
“I was thoughtless earlier.”
“……”
“I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
His gaze seemed sincere. Strangely enough, however, it didn't feel genuine to me. Oddly, even though sincerity saturated his tone and expression, it felt alien.
“I want to be close.”
Park Sion repeated himself. At that moment, I realized the source of this strange feeling: his goodwill toward me was completely irrational.
“Why?”
Why in the world? It made no sense logically. My guess that Park Sion might be a loner like me had been completely off. Moreover, he already had popular friends. Why would someone like Park Sion want to get close to me, a guy who had transferred schools after being falsely accused of molesting a classmate? Yet, here he was, humbling himself and reaching out first.
“I just like you.”
Park Sion answered lightly, but it wasn't satisfactory to me.
Was Park Sion nice enough to sympathize with my situation?
Probably not.
Were we close enough for him to recognize my true self?
No.
Did I have a good enough image for someone to like me "just because"?
Absolutely not.
Then the answer was simple. He had ulterior motives.
I suddenly remembered Kim Youngjin knew Kim Shinju. And Kim Youngjin was friends with Park Sion. Maybe this bastard was plotting something with Kim Shinju. Anger surged within me in an instant. Unable to hide my expression, I glared sharply at Park Sion.
“You know Kim Shinju, don't you?”
“Who's that?”
“The guy I supposedly molested.”
Park Sion briefly closed his eyes and reopened them, responding in a low voice.
“Oh, him.”
Contempt flashed across his eyes. I wasn't sure if the contempt was directed at me, at Kim Shinju, or at both of us, but at least it was clear he didn't feel positively toward Kim Shinju. Maybe they weren't close enough to plot together after all. My rising anger slowly subsided. I naturally regained my composure.
“Kim Youngjin knew about him, though.”
“They attend the same academy. Not me.”
Park Sion chuckled softly, adding with a hint of laughter, "Really."
“I don't have any weird intentions. I'm not planning to bother you.”
His voice sounded genuinely serious. But even if that were true, it still didn't explain why Park Sion wanted to befriend me. I didn't want to stake my future on someone’s ambiguous kindness. And honestly, I still didn't like Park Sion.
“I don't know if you're being sympathetic because I'm alone or if you really just want to get close, as you said...”
“……”
“But being involved with me won't be good for you either. You know what kind of rumors surround me. I just want to keep going as I have been and quietly graduate.”
I didn't need kindness with unclear intentions. And sympathy was definitely unwelcome. I made my position clear, as bluntly as possible.
At my explicit rejection, Park Sion gave a faint, sigh-like smile and slightly lowered his head. It was difficult to read his expression—whether he was angry, disappointed, or understood my point. Silence stretched between us. I'd said everything I had to, so breaking this silence was up to Park Sion.
“Then I'll make sure you can stay quiet.”
Park Sion raised his head, and our eyes met. His pale skin, contrasting sharply with his dark bangs, made him look cold. An unidentifiable pressure squeezed at my chest.
“I'll let you graduate safely.”
His voice sounded ordinary, but his gaze was arrogant. He didn't say he'd help me; he said he'd ensure it. Meaning he had enough power to back up his words. And that made me anxious.
According to Park Sion’s words, he could disrupt my school life whenever he wanted. He was implying he had control over my future, silently forcing me to accept his offer without complaint. To me, his proposal to be friends sounded like a unilateral command.
Stripped of its superficial kindness, this was his true face—arrogance.
“You won’t lose anything by being close to me. If anything, you'll benefit.”
Eyes concealed beneath delicately curved eyelids stared at me arrogantly. For a moment, it felt like I could see the gates of hell standing ominously before me. One misstep here would mean opening the gates to hell, as people crudely put it. Perhaps lightly accepting his kindness from the start would have been better. Trying to run away might have backed me into an inescapable corner.
I quickly masked my anxiety and arranged my expression. I had to come up with the best answer. If I lost my composure and succumbed to Park Sion's pressure here, it wouldn't be surprising if I became his errand boy rather than a friend.
But what could I say? Rejecting him now would be an express ticket to bullying. Maybe I should've accepted right away. I began weighing whether being a bullied punching bag or an errand-running loser was preferable.
“You don’t like it?”
“Huh?”
“You weren't answering.”
Maybe his patience had reached its limit, as Park Sion urged me to reply. Honestly, I didn't have a choice. The moment Park Sion said he'd "let" me graduate "safely," my answer was practically predetermined. It just wasn't the answer I liked.
From loner to bullied, from bullied to ignored, and now from ignored to an errand boy wearing the pleasant mask of a "friend." A sigh threatened to escape. Still, I forced the corners of my mouth upward, hoping my voice wouldn't tremble.
“No, I don't dislike it.”
“Then we’re friends.”
“Yeah, let's do that.”
It sounded pathetic coming from someone who'd repeatedly rejected his kindness, but Park Sion seemed pleased with my pathetic response. Meeting my eyes, his expression softened noticeably. I simply smiled awkwardly.
Am I really about to become someone’s errand boy?
Fuck, this sucks.
****
Which was worse: being an errand boy or a bullied outcast?
The former would severely damage my pride and self-esteem, not to mention the financial loss from constantly buying snacks for someone else. However, the latter involved physical pain and emotional devastation. When comparing the two, being an errand boy was definitely preferable.
After a sleepless night spent lamenting my newly assigned role, I packed my wallet thick with cash before leaving for school. After all, I never knew when or how often I'd need to buy snacks.
My heavenly days as an ignored loner were officially over; today marked my first day as someone’s errand boy. Before entering the classroom, I clenched my fists tightly. Being an errand boy is still better than being bullied. Let's stay positive.
“You’re here?”
Park Sion greeted me immediately upon my arrival, sitting in Jung Suwon’s seat. Why was he sitting there? I glanced toward Park Sion’s seat and saw Jung Suwon sitting there instead. Had they switched seats? Park Sion’s determination to fully exploit me as his errand boy felt all too clear, and my expression instantly stiffened.
“My eyesight isn’t good, so I asked him to switch seats.”
Perhaps noticing my gaze, Park Sion explained, though his excuse sounded weak. After all, my seat wasn't particularly close to the blackboard. Yet, lacking the courage to challenge him, I silently sat down.
“Uncomfortable?”
Yeah, extremely uncomfortable. Chatting casually with Jung Suwon was my only joy. You've taken even that small pleasure away from me—I wanted to say, but didn’t. Instead, I lied without hesitation.
“What’s there to be uncomfortable about? But you probably still can’t see the blackboard well from here. Are you sure it's okay?”
“I can see just fine.”
“That's good. If you ever need notes later, let me know. I can lend you mine.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
I tried my best to hide my true feelings and spoke kindly. Was my tone sincere enough? Constantly self-censoring like this felt pathetic, but now wasn’t the time to preserve my pride. Since things had come to this, practicality was all that mattered.
Last night’s conclusion was that provoking Park Sion would offer me no advantage. Kim Shinju had taught me that acting purely on impulse led nowhere good; it was time to apply what I'd learned.
The best way to finish my school life smoothly and peacefully was to endure whatever came my way. Quietly enduring would eventually lead to my senior year, and then graduation. Until then, all I had to do was avoid irritating Park Sion.
Fortunately, Park Sion wasn’t as reckless as Kim Shinju. I couldn't guess his true intentions, but outwardly, Park Sion was kind. Even if that kindness was fake, it didn't matter. A hypocrite like Park Sion was far better than someone openly cruel like Kim Shinju.
“Will you eat with me today?”
Park Sion whispered, leaning unnecessarily close as if sharing a secret, disturbing me as I was pretending to read. Of course, I had no valid reason to refuse. The guy who had the power to control my school life wanted to be my friend and have meals together—what choice did I have? Rubbing my exposed neck, I replied,
“Sure. Let’s eat together.”
“Thanks.”
Park Sion narrowed his eyes slightly. He expressed gratitude without an ounce of sincerity on his face. This confirmed my suspicion: Park Sion was different from Kim Shinju.
Unlike Kim Shinju, who openly asserted his dominance by pressing me down, Park Sion knew how to subtly demonstrate his superiority. In short, Park Sion was smarter than Kim Shinju. Although he constantly asked for my opinion, he clearly wasn't genuinely interested in my feelings. His kindness was merely deceit.
Now I finally understood the source of discomfort I'd felt upon meeting Park Sion’s eyes for the first time. It wasn't paranoia or a result of my biased intuition. From the very beginning, I had accurately sensed his true nature.
This bastard was an arrogant hypocrite.