Thank goodness today was Sunday.
The fever I'd earned from yesterday's legendary sprint through the rain had mostly disappeared. My throat no longer felt like sandpaper, and my nose had finally stopped acting like a broken faucet.
Unfortunately... I still felt awful. There was this dull, heavy ache around my lower abdomen and pelvis that hadn't been there last night.
I lay flat on my bed, staring at the ceiling while wondering if moving counted as exercise.
"Weird." Maybe my cold had evolved. Was this Cold 2.0?
Across the room, Kazuha quietly sat at her desk.
Sunday morning. Most college students would still be asleep, but not her. Did she recharge by studying? Was knowledge her source of nutrition?
I narrowed my eyes.
No... She was probably a robot. A terrifying study robot.
Another sharp cramp suddenly twisted through my abdomen.
"Owowowow..." I instinctively curled into a ball.
"What did I even eat yesterday?" Did I accidentally poison myself?
Another cramp. Stronger this time.
"Seriously?" Before I could complain again... I suddenly felt something warm between my legs.
"Huh?" My entire body froze.
Slowly...
Very slowly...
I lifted the blanket. My eyes widened and my breathing stopped.
"K-KAZUHAAAAAA!!" My soul packed its luggage.
"Hm?" She answered without looking away from her textbook.
"I-I'm sorry..."
"..."
"I don't think..." My voice trembled. "I don't think I have much time left."
That finally made her look at me.
"I'm dying!" I pointed beneath the blanket with trembling fingers. "L-Look! There's so much blood! I'm bleeding!"
My abdomen cramped again, and I almost teared up. "It hurts! Oh my God... I haven't even been a girl for a month yet! I wasn't mentally prepared for this! I still haven't become Japan's cutest girl! I still have dreams! I haven't properly thanked my parents for raising me! Most importantly..." I sniffed dramatically before clutching my chest. "I'm still a virgin! I can't die as a virgin! This wasn't how my story was supposed to end!"
...
The room fell silent.
Kazuha blinked once, then twice. Without saying anything, she stood up.
"K-Kazuha?" I called, completely bewildered as tears rolled down my cheeks.
Without saying a word, she walked past my bed and headed straight for the bathroom.
I watched her disappear behind the door. "She's preparing for my funeral." I slowly nodded to myself.
A few seconds later she came back holding a small package. Without ceremony, she tossed it onto my blanket. I caught it on instinct. "Huh?"
"You got your first period." She spoke so calmly it almost offended me. "Wear that and you'll be fine."
I stared at the package.
Period? Another cramp struck my abdomen, making me double over. "Owow..."
So this was what girls had been talking about all this time.
"Hurry, or it'll stain more." Kazuha said as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.
"O-Okay..." I slowly pushed myself upright, only for another problem to hit me. "Um..."
"What now?"
"How do I use this?"
Kazuha quietly closed her book before looking at me. "Bring me your panties."
"...Excuse me?"
"Your panties."
My face instantly exploded red. "K-Kazuha! I-I didn't know you were into that!"
She stared at me expressionlessly for several long seconds. "What?"
"You suddenly asked for my underwear!"
"I was going to show you how to attach the pad."
I folded my arms defensively. "Still sounds suspicious."
She smacked my forehead without hesitation before letting out another faint sigh. "Seriously." Giving up on me entirely, she grabbed an old notebook, peeled the backing off another pad, and stuck it neatly onto the cover.
"The sticky side goes here." She folded the wings underneath the notebook. "These wrap around the fabric. That's all."
I stared at the notebook in amazement. "It's basically a sticker."
"More or less."
I looked at the pad with newfound respect. "So this mysterious feminine artifact... is just advanced stationery."
"Please stop talking." She peeled the pad off the notebook, handed me a fresh one, and pointed toward the bathroom. "Go change."
"Roger!"
Several minutes later, I cautiously stepped back into the room with my dignity barely intact. "Mission accomplished."
Kazuha didn't even look up from her book. "Good."
I scratched my cheek awkwardly before giving her a sheepish smile. "Thanks... You're my savior. My hero."
She let out a quiet sigh. "Every normal person would've done the same."
"Maybe," I replied with a small grin. "But you're still my lifesaver."
Kazuha didn't answer. She simply gave a tiny shrug before returning to her book as though the conversation had already ended.
I couldn't help smiling. She really was a kind person.
The rest of the day was pure suffering. I'd heard girls complain about their periods countless times before, but I'd never truly understood why. If anything, I'd always assumed they were exaggerating a little. Now that I was experiencing it myself, though... I understood. Completely.
The cramps attacked in waves like an evil dungeon boss that refused to die. Sometimes I'd lie flat on my bed. Sometimes I'd curl into a ball. Sometimes I'd simply stare at the ceiling while questioning every life decision that had somehow led me here.
"Joseph," I muttered dramatically. "If your imaginary girlfriend ever gets her period... treat her nicely." I paused before correcting myself. "No. Treat every girl nicely. They've been fighting invisible demons every month this whole time..."
By evening, my cold had almost completely disappeared. The cramps, however, were still holding a live concert inside my abdomen.
I let out a defeated sigh as my eyes drifted toward the nearly empty pack of pads beside my bed.
"Uh oh." I needed more. "K-Kazuha?"
"What?" She still hadn't stopped studying.
"Sorry to bother you, but I think I need to buy more of these."
She glanced at the package before immediately standing up. "Sure. I need to buy a few things anyway." She grabbed her tote bag. "Let's go." She unlocked the dorm room door and stepped outside.
"W-Wait..." I hurried after her. Well... I tried to.
Walking with a pad felt unbelievably weird, and the cramps certainly weren't helping. Every step felt awkward, so instead of walking like a normal human being, I shuffled after Kazuha like a gorilla trying to sneak through a museum.
After a while, Kazuha suddenly stopped. She turned around, looked at the bizarre way I was moving, and quietly sighed.
"I'm sorry," I said, rubbing the back of my head. "It's my first time walking with one... and these cramps..."
"You'll get used to it." She turned around again and continued walking. This time... Just a little slower. Just enough that I could catch up without having to perform my gorilla shuffle at maximum speed.
By the time we arrived at the convenience store, I'd already gained a whole new level of respect for women.
Then we reached the sanitary pad aisle.
I froze.
"Why are there so many?" I stared at the endless wall of packages. Day use. Night Use. Slim. Ultra Slim. No wings. With Wings. Extra Long. Extra Soft. Different colors.
My eyes slowly widened. "Why do sanitary pads have a skill tree?"
Kazuha glanced at the shelf. "They're just different kinds and brands."
"JUST?!" I pointed dramatically at the display. "This is harder than choosing equipment before a dungeon raid!"
She calmly picked up two different packages. "They come in different sizes."
"Sizes?"
"The longer ones reduce the chance of staining your underwear. They're usually used at night."
I blinked.
Then she picked up a smaller package and showed it to me. "The shorter ones are usually more comfortable during the day. When your period is almost over, you can also use a slimmer, shorter one so it's more comfortable."
"That's actually genius."
She nodded once. "Most people use both."
"I see..." I folded my arms and looked at the shelf with a newfound sense of admiration. Women have been quietly dealing with this every month while pretending everything is normal... "Respect."
Without another word, Kazuha placed two packs into my basket. "These should be enough for you."
I accepted them with both hands. "Thank you, Coach."
She frowned. "Coach?"
My smile instantly froze. "I mean... Kazuha." I laughed awkwardly while scratching the back of my head. Joseph had officially infected my vocabulary.
She stared at me for another second before simply continuing toward the cashier.
I hurried after her, pushing the basket. "Kazuha."
"What?"
I grinned. "Don't you think I've officially become a real adult woman now?"
She stopped walking, turned around, and looked at me with complete seriousness. "Not really."
"Eh?"
She blinked once before quietly adding, "Still... congratulations on your puberty, I guess." Then she turned around and continued walking toward the cashier.
I stood there frozen as the basket handle slowly slipped through my fingers.
She was right. This wasn't just some magical transformation anymore. This... This was my real puberty.
"This is the real deal!" My voice echoed throughout the convenience store. Several customers immediately turned to look at me.
Another realization suddenly struck me like lightning. "W-Wait!" I gasped. "Kazuha!"
She stopped walking and slowly looked back at me. "What?"
"If this is my real puberty..." I asked at full volume, my eyes widening in horror. "Do you think I can get pregnant too?!"
The entire store fell silent. An elderly woman pushing a shopping cart looked at me. A cashier slowly raised his head. Even a little kid stopped grabbing candy to stare.
Kazuha's face instantly turned bright red. She silently covered her face with one hand.
After what felt like an eternity, she took a deep breath before turning around again. "Idiot."
Without another word, she walked away at a noticeably faster pace.
"W-Wait!" I hurried after her, pushing my basket as fast as I could. "I was asking a genuine question! Kazuha! Kazuha!"