“Your Majesty, it’s time to rise.”
As usual, Qingping came to wake the Empress Dowager for court. But the moment she lifted the bed curtains, she froze in horror.
The Empress Dowager was already sitting upright.
Her eyes were swollen red, and tear stains covered her face.
Qingping’s expression changed drastically. She hurriedly dropped to her knees.
“Your Majesty! Your Majesty, what happened?”
Her whole body trembled.
She could only lament her own terrible luck.
The Empress Dowager had always been temperamental and unpredictable. Palace attendants around her had been replaced one after another over the years. Qingping had managed to remain by her side for so long only because she was careful and meticulous.
And now, she had witnessed the Empress Dowager in such a miserable state.
Would she even survive the day?
Yao Yao’s vacant eyes slowly swept across the hall before finally settling on Qingping.
Her voice was hoarse.
“It’s nothing. Get up.”
Seeing the Empress Dowager rise from bed, Qingping hurried forward to help her dress, silently thanking heaven that she hadn’t been blamed.
Seated before her bronze mirror, Yao Yao allowed the palace maids behind her to arrange her hair.
In the mirror, she saw her own breathtakingly beautiful face, though it looked somewhat pale.
And behind her stood the respectful, humble palace maids.
A dazed look appeared in Yao Yao’s eyes.
Suddenly, a sharp pain stabbed through her head.
“Little Xue’er, your hair has grown longer again. Look at the hairstyle Mother made for you, isn’t it beautiful?”
Yao Yao clutched her head and let out a scream.
When she opened her eyes again, she was still surrounded by the luxurious yet cold palace. The servants knelt on the floor, bowing submissively.
No.
This wasn’t right.
She remembered…
There had been a somewhat simple blue-tiled house.
She had a gentle and beautiful mother.
And a father who seemed capable of anything.
Her mother would pick fresh flowers and plants to decorate their home, sit by the window combing her hair and sewing her new clothes.
Her father would teach her swordsmanship in the courtyard and set off fireworks on her birthday.
“Father…? Mother…?”
The unfamiliar yet strangely intimate words emerged from her lips with difficulty.
The maid arranging her hair heard them clearly.
She trembled even harder.
Who in the capital didn’t know the Empress Dowager’s story?
Her birth mother, the Third Miss of the Yao family, had eloped with a man and later died during childbirth.
As for the Empress Dowager, she had been abandoned at the doorstep of the Minister of Revenue’s residence. Minister Yao had kindly raised her, only for her to later persuade the late emperor to issue a decree exterminating the entire Yao household.
Lost in those memories, the maid’s hand trembled.
Several strands of hair were accidentally pulled loose.
Yao Yao hissed in pain and frowned instinctively.
The sting on her scalp immediately dragged her back to reality.
Those blurry yet deeply cherished images slowly faded away.
In their place rose a fierce, violent rage.
“Drag her out and beat her to death.”
The maid turned pale with terror and immediately kowtowed.
“Mercy, Your Majesty! Mercy!”
The other servants were horrified as well, lowering their heads and not daring to breathe, afraid they might become collateral damage.
Yet just as the guards dragged the maid away, that gentle voice echoed once more in Yao Yao’s mind.
“If Little Xue’er wishes to become someone truly great, then she should be even more magnanimous.”
For some reason, Yao Yao abruptly sat upright.
“Forget it.”
Qingping raised her head in disbelief.
The Empress Dowager’s temper today seemed unusually good.
…
Because of the morning’s commotion, Yao Yao arrived late for court.
Of course, no one dared criticize her.
The ten-year-old emperor sat uneasily upon the dragon throne. The moment he saw the beautiful woman approaching, he immediately straightened himself.
“Mother.”
The ministers all knelt.
“Long live His Majesty! Long live the Emperor!”
“May the Empress Dowager enjoy eternal blessings!”
The chief eunuch’s shrill voice echoed through the hall.
“If there are memorials, present them. Otherwise, court is dismissed.”
Behind the beaded curtain, Yao Wei sat in silence.
Regardless of whether these ministers truly respected her, they were all kneeling beneath her feet.
And yet…
For the first time in her life, she felt lost.
Was this really what she wanted?
What exactly did she want?
When she had been a child and everyone called her a bastard, she would have answered without hesitation.
She wanted her parents to come and take her away.
Now, she had become the Empress Dowager above all others.
Even the emperor himself had to watch her expression.
No one could bully her anymore.
Those who had once humiliated her had long turned to dust.
And yet…
She wasn’t happy.
The carefree warmth she experienced inside that dream, the days in the blue-tiled house, were things she had never known.
She had spent her entire life tense and vigilant.
She had never once dared relax.
What she couldn’t understand was why a mere dream had affected her so deeply.
Whenever she became angry and wanted to kill someone, she would hear that gentle voice.
Clearly, she wasn’t Little Xue’er.
Yet she unconsciously listened to those words.
And somewhere deep inside, she feared disappointing the owner of that voice.
…
Memorials piled up like snow in her palace.
But Yao Yao had no desire to review them.
She thought quietly.
If power couldn’t bring her happiness, then why was she holding onto it so tightly?
She began appointing ministers to assist in governing and invited famous scholars to educate the young emperor.
Seeing that she truly intended to nurture the child, those factions that had secretly opposed her gradually calmed down.
But raising an emperor capable of ruling independently took time.
Whenever difficult decisions arose, she still had to make the final call.
When floods came, she ordered dams to be built.
During famine, she personally visited affected regions.
With iron-fisted methods, she punished corrupt officials and formulated policies suited to each province.
Her actions genuinely benefited the people.
The common folk didn’t even know who sat on the throne.
But they all knew there was an Empress Dowager who loved her people like her own children.
Many praised the late emperor for choosing such a virtuous empress.
Slowly, even the court officials came to sincerely admire her.
Just as she thought she could finally return power to the young emperor…
He died unexpectedly from a severe illness.
And naturally, the entire court supported her ascension.
She became the Empress.
…
On the day she officially sat upon the dragon throne, Yao Yao found the whole situation strangely laughable.
Back when she sat behind the beaded curtain beneath the throne, countless ministers had wanted to spill blood in the court just to drag her down.
Yet when she truly intended to relinquish power…
They had personally pushed her onto the highest seat in the world.
That night, she dreamed once again.
The dream she had never forgotten all these years.
This time, everything was astonishingly clear.
It was a countryside evening.
She saw a little girl identical to her younger self.
Her tiny hands were held by her parents as she skipped happily along.
Carefree.
Without worries.
Seeing the happy family of three, Yao Yao’s feet felt nailed to the ground.
They walked toward her.
And then…
They passed right by her.
Looking at their backs, Yao Yao felt countless needles piercing her heart.
How happy they were.
This was the very scene she had dreamed of countless times during lonely nights.
She followed them up a hillside.
Suddenly, fireworks exploded brilliantly in the sky.
The little girl was held in her mother’s embrace and sweetly said,
“Thank you, Father! Thank you, Mother! I want to celebrate every birthday with you.”
So it was her birthday.
Looking up at the dazzling fireworks, tears nearly spilled from Yao Yao’s eyes.
She had never celebrated a birthday.
As a child, no one celebrated her birth.
Later, she simply no longer wished to.
Back then, the young masters and young ladies of the Yao household had grand birthday celebrations.
Meanwhile, she hid alone in her remote courtyard beneath a tattered blanket, comforting herself again and again.
If Father and Mother were here…
They would surely celebrate her birthday like this.
No.
Even grander.
But she had never met them.
Her mother died giving birth to her.
Her father abandoned her at the Yao residence and never came back.
Like someone torturing herself, Yao Yao stared at the young couple.
They looked exactly like the parents she had always imagined.
…
After the fireworks ended, she followed them home.
And there it was.
The blue-tiled house from her dreams.
She didn’t know how long she remained there.
She watched the little girl cling to her mother, complaining that she disliked elaborate hairstyles because she still had to practice swordsmanship.
The beautiful woman, who only wanted to dress her daughter prettily, sighed helplessly and indulged her.
Expressionless, Yao Yao sat beside her.
Knowing they couldn’t see her, she quietly spoke.
“If you were my mother, I would love whatever hairstyle you made for me.”
No one answered.
…
She watched the girl grow up surrounded by love, becoming increasingly radiant and beautiful.
With a sword on her back, the girl said,
“Mother, I want to see the world outside, but I can’t bear to leave you and Father.”
The woman gently smoothed her daughter’s messy hair.
“Little Xue’er, our love should never become your chains.”
“You can do anything you wish.”
“No matter where you go, Father and Mother will always be your strongest support.”
Eventually, the girl really left.
The woman sat by the window, holding her daughter’s old clothes and reminiscing.
Yao Yao sat upon the little stool that belonged exclusively to the girl.
Resting her head against the woman’s knees in imagination, she whispered,
“If you were my mother, I would stay by your side forever.”
Even if she had to spend her entire life inside this blue-tiled house.
If only…
If only you truly were my mother.
…
After the girl left, only the couple remained.
And her.
Knowing they couldn’t see her, she shamelessly treated herself as their daughter.
But one day…
The woman suddenly seemed able to see her.
She walked steadily toward her from outside.
Her eyes sparkled brightly, as though she had searched for her for a very long time.
Smiling gently, An Jin called out,
“Little Xue’er.”
After completing her mission, An Jin had asked the system whether she could see her daughter from her previous life.
She hadn’t expected it to agree.
Though the woman before her wore majestic dragon robes and possessed overwhelming authority, An Jin still recognized her.
This was her Little Xue’er.
Yao Yao looked around nervously.
Realizing An Jin was indeed speaking to her, panic filled her heart.
“I’m not.”
An Jin smiled softly.
“You are my Little Xue’er.”
Yao Yao staggered backward.
“No! I said I’m not! I’m Yao Yao!”
The moment she shouted, regret flooded her heart.
But An Jin wasn’t angry.
Like a mother gazing lovingly at an unreasonable child, she opened her arms.
Her eyes were gentle as water.
“Then, Yao Yao…”
“I’m Mother.”
Yao Yao froze.
Her soul seemed to have been emptied.
Tears filled her eyes.
Was it true?
Ridiculous as it was…
She believed her.
Because she had always wanted this woman to be her mother.
She perfectly matched every fantasy she’d ever had.
She would lovingly comb her hair.
Hold her hand.
Cry when she was injured.
Everything…
Everything Yao Yao had watched her do for the other little girl.
Could that happy child really have been her?
Then why had they lived such different lives?
Why, when Father and Mother celebrated that girl’s birthday, had she hidden in the darkness envying others?
Why, when Mother told that girl not to let love become her chains, had she been trapped in despair, even resorting to seducing the old emperor to escape the Yao household?
Why?
Why?!
Tears brimmed in her eyes, but stubbornly refused to fall.
“I no longer need parents!”
“Then why did you come now?!”
“Why?!”
“Did you come just to show me how much you loved her?”
“To show me how pitiful I am?”
She shouted at the top of her lungs, desperately trying to hide her own fragility.
An Jin hurriedly explained.
“Little Xue… no, Yao Yao, that girl is you!”
She had only wanted her daughter to know that if she and Brother Yue had lived, they would have loved her dearly.
She hadn’t expected such a violent reaction.
Yao Yao’s shoulders trembled.
Her fingernails dug into her palms.
Her hoarse voice seemed squeezed out from the depths of her soul.
“No…”
“You only loved her.”
“Then what about me?”
“What am I?”
“Why did you abandon me?”
Tears filled An Jin’s eyes.
“We never abandoned you…”
Knowing explanations alone wouldn’t suffice, An Jin turned to the system.
[System, can you restore what truly happened?]
[Host, your mission is already complete. You don’t need to do this.]
[I know.]
[But I must.]
The more hysterical Yao Yao became, the more it proved how much suffering she had endured.
At the very least, An Jin wanted her to know…
Someone had always loved her.
It’s just that she and Brother Yue were no longer there.
The system fell silent.
Then the world around them spun.
The scenery changed.
…
In the dead of winter, heavy snow covered everything.
A ruined temple stood amidst the white landscape.
Outside the temple…
A blood-soaked man leaned upon his sword amidst mountains of corpses.
Yet several enemies still charged at him with vicious grins.
Both An Jin and Yao Yao’s hearts clenched.
Only now did An Jin realize how dangerous that day had truly been.
Suddenly, the man erupted into action.
He cut down the last enemy.
Then collapsed into the snow.
After a long while, he struggled back to his feet and staggered toward the temple.
Opening the doors…
He saw a woman lying before the statue.
Her face was pale.
Her body cold.
She was no longer breathing.
In her arms was a crying infant.
Seeing this scene, Yao Yao felt her soul shatter.
“Mother!”
The man stood frozen at the doorway for a long time.
Almost too afraid to approach.
Until the baby’s cries awakened him.
Like a walking corpse, he knelt before his wife and held the infant.
His face remained hidden.
But everyone could feel the overwhelming grief radiating from him.
His trembling hand touched his wife’s pale face.
“You should regret this.”
An Jin burst into tears.
“Brother Yue…”
Meanwhile, Yao Yao’s eyes had lost focus.
Only tears continued to stream endlessly down her face.
…
Gong Yue buried his wife upon the snowy mountain.
His dark eyes were as lifeless as a dried-up well.
“Wei’er…”
“I’ll avenge you.”
Later, carrying the baby in his arms, he arrived at the gates of the Yao residence.
Carefully placing his daughter down, he whispered,
“When Father finishes avenging your mother…”
“I’ll come and bring you home.”
But he didn’t leave.
He hid within a nearby tree.
The baby’s cries awakened the servants.
Minister Yao appeared.
And to Yao Yao’s horror…
He actually intended to kill the child.
Gong Yue’s hand tightened around the branch.
He was ready to rush forward.
Fortunately, Madam Yao arrived.
After much persuasion, the Yao family accepted the baby.
Only then did Gong Yue leave in peace.
The scene changed.
Flames engulfed Yungu Manor.
Covered in wounds, Gong Yue emerged from the fire.
Yet for the first time…
He smiled.
The smile of a man who had finally laid down a burden.
Traveling day and night, he deliberately detoured through a market.
He bought hair ornaments.
And pastries.
But near the outskirts of the capital, in a forest…
He suddenly clutched his chest.
Veins bulged on his forehead.
He collapsed.
The gifts scattered across the ground.
And after falling…
He never rose again.
…
“So that’s how it was…”
“So that’s how it was…”
Yao Yao cried uncontrollably.
Her parents had never abandoned her.
Everything had merely been the cruelty of fate.
Throwing herself into An Jin’s embrace, she sobbed as though she wanted to empty all the grievances she had endured.
“Mother…”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that…”
Holding her daughter tightly, An Jin gently comforted her.
“It’s alright.”
“It was Father and Mother’s fault.”
“We couldn’t stay by your side and watch you grow up.”
Yao Yao shook her head desperately.
“No.”
“You did.”
“That girl was me.”
“I am Little Xue’er.”
“Mother, I listened to you.”
“I stopped losing my temper.”
“Under my rule, the people are living better and better.”
Pride filled An Jin’s eyes.
“I know.”
“My Little Xue’er is the best.”
“Mother…”
…
When Yao Yao awoke again, she found herself back inside the familiar palace.
The mighty Empress was crying like a child.
Yet soon, she gathered herself.
She continued attending court.
Handling state affairs.
Allowing the people to prosper.
Their lives became richer.
Their days better than before.
Because she now knew…
There were still people in this world who loved her.
She was no longer alone.
Seeing that Yao Yao had survived the flames and that the empire flourished under her rule, An Jin finally felt at peace.
[System, let’s go to the next mission.]
[Host, this was only your first mission. You invested too deeply emotionally. The road ahead is still long. I recommend sealing your emotions.]
[Then seal them.]