“Bite away. If it makes you feel better, take a few more.” Yan Jingxuan’s voice was low.
Upon hearing this, Lin Zili loosened his grip slightly, a flicker of complexity crossing his eyes. Yet, the resentment that had built up within him would not dissipate so easily. He bit down even harder, as if trying to vent all the pain, anger, and humiliation he had endured during this time through this single act.
Yan Jingxuan’s brows furrowed in pain, but he remained perfectly still, allowing Lin Zili to do as he pleased. The room was silent, save for Lin Zili’s ragged breathing and Yan Jingxuan’s occasional suppressed gasps.
After a long while, Lin Zili finally released his hold. Yan Jingxuan’s web of the hand was mangled, the bite marks deep and gruesome.
“Do you feel better?”
“This is what you owe me!” Lin Zili’s voice was hoarse.
Yan Jingxuan nodded slightly, his voice steady. “Yes, it is what I owe you.” Despite the searing pain in his hand, he slowly reached out with his other hand, intending to touch Lin Zili’s face again.
Lin Zili flinched away as if burned, avoiding his touch. “Do not touch me!”
Yan Jingxuan’s hand halted in mid-air, a flash of disappointment crossing his eyes. “Very well. I will not touch you. But regardless of your anger, do not gamble with your own body.”
“I will have the steward bring you food. Please, eat something.”
“You do not need to pretend to be kind. I will not appreciate it,” Lin Zili said coldly.
Yan Jingxuan took a handkerchief from a servant and pressed it to his bleeding hand. Watching Lin Zili, he felt utterly helpless. “What will it take for you to eat properly? What do you want? Tell me, and I will bring it to you.”
Those words ignited Lin Zili’s fury once more. He snatched a teacup from the table and hurled it at him. “What do I want? I want to return to the Imperial Palace! I want to see the Emperor! Can you let me leave?”
Yan Jingxuan ducked, and the cup grazed his robes before smashing into the wall behind him with a loud crash.
Seeing that Lin Zili still insisted on returning, his expression darkened. “You have not given up hope. Is the manor not good enough? Everyone here obeys your every word; no one expects you to serve them anymore.”
Lin Zili looked at him with reddened eyes, the radiance of his once-vibrant gaze extinguished. “What do you take me for? Am I a toy to be kept in your room, visited when you are bored, or a boy-toy to be toyed with at your whim?”
“If I were truly such a person, willing to submit beneath you, I would be happy to do so. But I am not! No matter how low my status may be, I am not a prostitute waiting with legs spread for you every day!”
Yan Jingxuan stared at him deeply, his mind clearly wandering to a different conclusion. “In that case, I will take you as my wife.”
Lin Zili’s mind went blank for a moment. He looked at the Regent in astonishment. “You! Do you know what you are saying? I am a man! In the eyes of the world, I am even a eunuch. You would marry me? Have you gone mad?”
“And what if I have? I am already a madman. The rumors of me being a sodomite are already widespread; does marrying a man not simply confirm the gossip?”
A fervent, almost obsessive light burned in Yan Jingxuan’s eyes as he closed the distance between them step by step. Every footfall seemed to strike at Lin Zili’s fraying nerves, forcing him to retreat.
Lin Zili’s lower back soon hit the edge of the bed, and he tumbled backward, sitting down unsteadily. Before he could recover, Yan Jingxuan leaned in, bracing his hands on either side of Lin Zili, trapping him.
Yan Jingxuan’s gaze was searing, staring straight into Lin Zili’s eyes as if to pierce his soul. “Prepare yourself. We shall be wed in a few days.”
“I should have realized sooner. If we are married, you will no longer resist me. You will remain by my side obediently.” He said this as if trying to persuade himself rather than Lin Zili.
“Mad. You are truly mad,” Lin Zili whispered in a daze. He suddenly shoved Yan Jingxuan away, attempting to flee.
But his body, delicate and pampered for so many years, was no match for a general who had slaughtered countless enemies on the battlefield. Before he could take two steps, he felt a powerful grip on his waist, pulling him backward. He collided with a rock-hard chest and was firmly imprisoned in Yan Jingxuan’s embrace.
“Let me go! You madman!” Lin Zili struggled frantically, striking at Yan Jingxuan’s arms with his fists until his knuckles turned white.
Yan Jingxuan remained as immovable as a mountain. He held Lin Zili tightly, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Stop struggling. Once we are wed, everything will be better.”
“It will not be better! Let me go now, and I will pretend the past never happened. You be your Regent, I will be my eunuch, and we will stay out of each other’s way. Is that not enough?”
Lin Zili was truly terrified. After all this time, he realized he could not shake Yan Jingxuan’s resolve. He could neither beat him nor kill him. He felt genuine despair.
His pleas went ignored. Yan Jingxuan seemed to have undergone a transformation, personally micromanaging every detail of the wedding preparations. He kept a tighter watch on Lin Zili, going to work during the day and sleeping beside him at night.
If he discovered Lin Zili had skipped a meal during the day, he would feed him mouth-to-mouth. Whenever this happened, Lin Zili would feel so disgusted he would strike out at him in a frenzy. Eventually, Lin Zili submitted, abandoning any thoughts of a hunger strike.
He did not know what Yan Jingxuan had told the young Emperor, but the Emperor sent a letter congratulating him on the marriage, filled with childish delight, completely unaware that his companion was being held captive.
The news that the Regent was to marry a man caused an uproar in the court. Several officials who strongly opposed it were struck down by Yan Jingxuan’s sword, their blood staining the hall. After that, no one dared to voice an objection.
The wedding day arrived quickly. The entire manor was adorned with festive red silks hanging from the eaves. Guests arrived in an endless stream at the gates. Yan Jingxuan wore a magnificent crimson wedding robe, which only highlighted his martial spirit and imposing presence.
Yan Jingxuan had invited many people, including not only court officials but also the soldiers who had fought by his side.
In the bridal chamber, Lin Zili sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in red bridal robes. However, there was no joy on his face; his eyes were vacant and cold. The room and the world outside were filled with festive cheer, but to him, this was nothing more than an absurd farce.