The Aloof and Pure-Hearted Killer: I Still Owe Her a Confession
Zhan Kong appeared on the eighteenth floor of the Blood-Severing Pavilion for the last time.
He asked Xue Ningshuo:
“What I just said is the truth from nine years ago, isn’t it?”
Xue Ningshuo curled the corner of his mouth:
“Zhan Kong, the girl you like is truly no ordinary person. What a clever child. It’s just a pity she suffered so much because of you.”
Zhan Kong stared directly at Xue Ningshuo, saying nothing.
Xue Ningshuo let out a laugh:
“Forget it, it’s none of my business. There’s still over a year left. Since you know the truth now, I suppose you’re prepared to face the outcome. The one behind the Netherworld Hall can kill whoever they wish as easily as turning over their hand… Zhan Kong, I won’t make things too difficult for you.”
He took two yellowed sheets of paper from the cabinet behind him.
Then, he handed one of them to Zhan Kong:
“This is the Blood Oath you signed with me back then. I’m returning one copy to you, consider it a final gift to the most outstanding killer. Take it and leave the mountain. Never come back. After the Blood Oath’s term expires, I’ll dispose of the other copy as well.”
Zhan Kong took the paper without hesitation.
This was the outcome he had anticipated before coming.
For the remaining year and three months, Xue Ningshuo had no need to trouble himself, nor would he offer any additional guarantees.
Xue Ningshuo knew that once Fang Xun’gui uncovered the truth, there was no longer any need for him to have any further ties with the Blood-Severing Pavilion.
So it was better to do a favor, letting Fang Xun’gui be aware enough not to drag the Blood-Severing Pavilion into the grudge between him and the Netherworld Hall.
Consider it an early offering for Zhan Kong’s impending death.
Xue Ningshuo extended his hand, making a gesture to see him out.
From that moment on, Zhan Kong’s path had reached its end.
Descending to the tenth floor of the Blood-Severing Pavilion, Fang Xun’gui stopped.
He asked Yan Zuoxiu:
“One last drink together?”
…
At the rear cliff of Moon-Cutting Mountain, it was still Fang Xun’gui and Yan Zuoxiu, still two pots of Huadiao wine.
This time, it was Fang Xun’gui who started the conversation:
“The first time I drank wine was when I was thirteen, taught by my brother. He was covered in wounds back then, yet he smiled carelessly, holding a jar of Huadiao wine in his hand. He said if it were any other wine, he would have poured it on his wounds to disinfect them long ago. But this jar of Huadiao wine was different. Little Sleeve brewed it for him, and he couldn’t bear to waste it, so he could only let me have a taste.”
Fang Xun’gui tilted his head back and took a gulp of wine.
Yan Zuoxiu said with a tone of affectionate reproach:
“I told him so many times, there’s plenty of Huadiao wine, no need to save it. Whenever he wanted to drink, he could just come find me by Shuochun Lake. I would always be there waiting for him…”
Her voice faded:
“It’s just a pity he can never taste my craft again, and neither will you.”
Yan Zuoxiu’s eyes were slightly red as she asked Fang Xun’gui:
“Have you made up your mind?”
Fang Xun’gui nodded:
“From the day I joined the Blood-Severing Pavilion, I anticipated this outcome. My brother wanted me to live well, not to pursue the past. I failed to keep that promise, so I can only apologize to him in the underworld.”
Yan Zuoxiu turned her head away, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, her laughter choked with sobs:
“You two brothers… clearly not related by blood, yet stubborn in exactly the same way.”
Fine lines had already appeared at the corners of her eyes. Though only in her early thirties, her eyes were filled with profound weariness and depth.
She had witnessed too much life and death. First her parents, then her mentor, and later her beloved.Now, she was once again watching a loved one’s family member approach their end.
Yan Zuoxiu never considered herself a particularly sentimental person. Even upon learning that Fang Yunmo was undertaking a mission certain to end in death, she merely followed his request and gave him the Corpse-Dissolving Insect.
Yan Zuoxiu’s thinking was simple. She loved Fang Yunmo, so she respected all his choices.
If Fang Yunmo wished to die cleanly, leaving no trace behind, then Yan Zuoxiu would help him.
It was that simple.
It wasn’t until a year after Fang Yunmo’s death that Yan Zuoxiu suddenly awoke as if from a dream.
Belatedly, she realized she had lost a moonlight she would never see again in this lifetime.
Go to Moon-Cutting Mountain, she thought. Go see the place where he grew up.
After all, she was a lone killer; it made no difference where she was.
Thus, Yan Zuoxiu became Zhan Yan of the Blood-Severing Pavilion, and on Moon-Cutting Mountain, she met the cheap younger brother Fang Yunmo had spoken of.
The first time she saw Fang Xun’gui, Yan Zuoxiu said in her heart to Fang Yunmo—
Yun Mo, beneath this child’s icy exterior burns a fire more tenacious than both of ours.
The wind howled mournfully on the rear cliff. Yan Zuoxiu drained the wine from her flask.
She said:
“There’s no need to tell me the cause of Yun Mo’s death. I don’t want to know. It’s just a pity that Xue Ningshuo and the Netherworld Hall couldn’t kill me over this matter as well. How boring. Once you’re gone too, it’ll be even more boring.”
That Zhan Yan was Severing Cloud’s former lover was something every killer in the Blood-Severing Pavilion knew.
Xue Ningshuo was most fond of superficial gestures. To display his benevolence, he would certainly ensure Zhan Yan’s survival.
As for Fang Xun’gui, a killer with countless enemies, dying at anyone’s hands would be unsurprising.
Yan Zuoxiu asked Fang Xun’gui:
“What are your plans for the time you have left?”
A gentle smile touched the corner of Fang Xun’gui’s mouth:
“Restore her neglected courtyard properly, accompany her in opening an herbal medicine shop in Lin Yue City. Then, whatever she wants to do, I’ll go with her and do it together.”
“Have you come to terms with it?”
“Perhaps I have, perhaps not.”
“That doesn’t sound like your usual way of speaking. Honestly, I thought you’d be so guilt-ridden over Miss Yue that it would feel like ten thousand arrows piercing your heart, and then weep bitterly over her limited time.”
“… I have already done that.”
“Ha, and now?”
“Now I am trying hard to dissolve the self-blame and guilt, because she said she hopes my affection for her stems from everything except a sense of indebtedness. I don’t know if I can achieve that, but if she wishes it, I will gradually come to understand.”
“Sigh… Miss Yue is truly a clear-sighted person. Xun’gui, even though the outcome is already set, on this final stretch of road, I wish you both happiness. Time is short. Give her love, accept her love for you. You don’t have that much time left for guilt.”
“I understand.”
“You, this kid… in this life of yours, are you ultimately fortunate or unfortunate?”
Fortunate to have been saved by Fang Yunmo, yet unfortunate to lose your only family. Fortunate to meet the one true love of your life, yet in the blink of an eye, you must count down the days with your beloved on the road to the Yellow Springs.
Fang Xun’gui said softly:
“Having met her in this lifetime, I am already fortunate enough.”
Yan Zuoxiu fell silent for a long time, finally smiling.
She resumed her usual charming, languid smile and asked Fang Xun’gui:
“Tell me, how did you confess your feelings to Miss Yue? The young lady said she likes you. What was your response?”
Fang Xun’gui was stunned.With everything settled and emotions sorted, Yan Zuoxiu’s words made Fang Xun’gui regretfully realize that he had never seriously confessed his feelings to Yuyi Yue.
He opened his mouth, answering in a dry voice:
“I… I haven’t said it yet…”
Yan Zuoxiu was both exasperated and amused, widening her charming eyes as she pointed at Fang Xun’gui and scolded:
“After all this talk, you haven’t even managed to say a single confession? You, you… why can’t you learn a thing or two from your brother at times like this?”
Fang Xun’gui stared blankly at Yan Zuoxiu, his voice unusually tinged with youthful panic:
“What… what should I say in a confession?”
Yan Zuoxiu placed her hands on her hips, frustrated at his lack of progress:
“Tell her you like her, tell her you love her, say that she fills your heart and eyes, that she’s in all your dreams, that just thinking of her makes you bubble with happiness, that you can’t live without her in this lifetime, that your love for her runs deep into your bones… Tsk, I haven’t even said much yet, don’t pretend to be deaf! Why are you blushing? Come, let me tell you about the sweet words Yun Mo used to say to me back then…”
Before parting, Yan Zuoxiu gave Fang Xun’gui a carrier pigeon:
“This is my own little darling, very clever. If you need to contact me, just send a message by pigeon.”
Fang Xun’gui took the birdcage and nodded seriously to Yan Zuoxiu:
“Thank you, sister-in-law.”
Yan Zuoxiu let out a charming laugh:
“You little rascal, finally saying something sweet. Alright, treat Miss Yue well, and don’t forget to send word when you get married. Sister-in-law will give you a big red envelope!”
“What?! Mar… marriage…”
“Oh my, now even your neck is red? Let me get a good look, hahahahaha…”
Their voices faded away until the sun began to set.
Yan Zuoxiu’s smile appeared particularly melancholic in the sunset, carrying the unique tenderness of an elder.
It was as if the “Yan Zuoxiu” who could have had her own happiness was using this moment to send a blessing to Fang Xun’gui, even though this journey had no return.
“Go down the mountain, Xun’gui. Congratulations on your rebirth.”
Dusk gave way to night, the sun set and the moon rose.
The bright moonlight poured down, guiding Fang Xun’gui’s path.
At the end of the road was a desolate courtyard, a wisp of cooking smoke, and the smile of the love of his life.
Fang Xun’gui never returned to Moon-Cutting Mountain.
In the blink of an eye, late autumn passed, and frost and snow covered the window frames.
It was the first New Year that Fang Xun’gui and Yuyi Yue spent together.
At that time, Fang Xun’gui was counting down to his death in his heart, yet he never could have anticipated that his inevitable end would be gently yet mercilessly altered by Yuyi Yue.
The cost was that he forever lost that sliver of moonlight.