Perhaps he simply hadn’t brought it to conscious thought before, but maybe it had been quite hard. Such thirst rising like this.
Unlike usual, the clothes stuck to his skin and felt cumbersome, but even that soon became familiar. The sharp sensations seeping through his wounds dulled quickly. What remained was a peaceful and cozy feeling—the sense of all suffocation and agony melting away and flowing out.
...Ah, yes. This was it. What he always longed for without even realizing it, as natural as breathing.
Yuri closed his eyes. He could feel the knots in his heart slowly melting one by one. So, it was hard. A strange feeling. He had never before consciously realized so clearly that he had been struggling.
That his heart had been so heavy for barely a month or two. Indeed, loving someone is hard. That person must have felt it even more, probably tens of times heavier. If they had consciously recognized that heavy, tired feeling, the burden would have been indescribable.
...
Would it have been better not to say those things? Words that seemed to pull his inner thoughts out, thrusting them before his face—would it have been better to swallow them instead? But Yuri knew he would say the same things if he could go back. He clicked his tongue at himself, lacking the skill to say anything to lessen his pain.
“........”
Let’s go up. Tell him he went to the hospital, that he wasn’t badly hurt, and give news of Jeongtae. That he seemed to be staying safely there as an honored guest with his brother. Thinking of the message he’d received on the way back from the hospital, Yuri slowly got up. He pulled his body from the water’s depths to the surface.
At the boundary where water meets air, feeling the splash against his skin, Yuri exhaled deeply.
At that moment—
“Are you crazy?!”
A voice shouted sharply right nearby, piercing the ears. Startled, Yuri blinked wide.
The man standing at the poolside, as if about to jump in, grabbed the ladder and half-submerged, roughly seized Yuri’s shoulder, and dragged him out of the water.
“?.........??”
Dazed as he was dragged out, half-soaked, Yuri looked up at the man glaring at him fiercely. Ling Xinlu, who should have been on the far upper floor of the hotel. He had no reason to be here.
“...Were you trying to swim?”
Ling Xinlu glared fiercely at Yuri’s puzzled question about how he didn’t like swimming, and then laughed dryly, without any smile on his face.
“No matter how crazy you are about water and dream of becoming a water ghost, what’s wrong with your head to enter the pool with your head all bandaged? If you mix blood into the pool everyone uses, who would want to get in? Why are you so selfish?”
Yuri blinked repeatedly, shoulders shrinking slightly like a guilty child under Ling Xinlu’s barrage. But watching him quietly, when Ling Xinlu closed his mouth, Yuri asked softly.
“Were you worried?”
“Yes! Of course! I was watching from above and saw that idiot jump in with his head fully bandaged and clothes on. I thought he was crazy and came down! Why?”
Ling Xinlu’s face twisted, glaring fiercely and shouting at Yuri’s nose, clearly wanting to shove him back in the water immediately. Yuri watched silently, unable to hold back a smile despite Ling Xinlu’s anger. So he just smiled quietly.
“Thank you. You’re kind.”
Ling Xinlu opened his mouth suddenly but seemed at a loss for words and looked at Yuri incredulously. After staring fiercely for a while, he twisted his lips into a sneer.
“Did I tell you before it’s a great skill to say things so they don’t sound sarcastic even when they are?”
“Yes, you did.”
Yuri spoke calmly, stroking his head. The wound beneath the thick bandage stung. Maybe it was bleeding again. But since he hadn’t hit anything, disinfectant and a fresh bandage would be enough.
“Are you feeling less angry now?”
Yuri asked quietly. Ling Xinlu, still glaring, snorted.
“Is that even a question...”
He cut off his words as if saying it didn’t even need to be said. But it mattered to Yuri. Had the rough scabs on his wound calmed down at all? Ling Xinlu stared blankly at Yuri, who waited silently. His fierce eyes softened slightly.
“Gabe, seriously, something’s wrong with your head. Who would jump into a pool right after having their head stitched up? Who would talk about being kind or ask if someone’s less angry while facing an assailant?”
He added as if only fools or idiots would do such things, clearly thinking Yuri was either.
But no matter what he thought, Yuri felt good. It felt enough.
Anyway, Ling Xinlu had come down to see Yuri, whether from worry, a tiny bit of guilt, or maybe even intending to dunk him in the water. Unexpectedly, he was right in front of Yuri.
He wasn’t as selfish or cruel as he thought himself. Those traits might emerge in extremes, but to Yuri, he was enough to love.
So he smiled with happiness and relief. Ling Xinlu, seeing that smile, hesitated and made a strange face—maybe thinking this guy was really crazy—but stared anyway.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry. Going into the water here won’t hurt.”
Yuri glanced briefly at the pool. There was no real basis, but a stronger faith than any—that the water wouldn’t harm him. It was more comfortable and peaceful than air. No hardship there, only coziness. Like a place he’d stayed long ago before he was born.
“I wish Ling Xinlu had a place like this too.”
He murmured this with a sudden pang of sympathy.
He hoped Ling Xinlu had a place to immerse himself. A place where he’d no longer thirst or suffer.
...He wished Jeongtae had been that water for him.
But maybe it wasn’t only Ling Xinlu who needed that. Perhaps someone even more desperately needed him. ...Yes, probably so.
Yuri turned from the pool to look at Ling Xinlu, who wore a very strange expression. As if deciding whether to be angry, shout, mock, sigh, or—unlikely—cling and whimper childishly.
Seeing that face, Yuri suddenly thought, “It’s okay.” No reason or basis, but a feeling as certain as his belief that water would not harm him.
“You will find it too. Now it’s your turn to be happy. As hard as it is now, you’ll be able to go to wider and more abundant waters.”
Yuri placed his hand on Ling Xinlu’s head. It felt so natural that he didn’t feel like it would offend or be presumptuous. It felt like comforting a child waiting for a chance to cry.
Those black eyes staring silently at him were very beautiful. So Yuri softly stroked his head, thinking, Yes, so pretty. So lovely.
Then.
“Water’s dripping. I’m getting wet too.”
A weak grumble slipped out like a sigh.
But Yuri didn’t remove his hand, replying, “Is that so?” Ling Xinlu frowned but didn’t pull his hand away.
Should he tell James or not? Yuri thought for a moment. But the thought didn’t last. For a matter like this, James would hear soon anyway. Or maybe already had. James usually called in the morning, but today there was no contact.
Yuri imagined James somewhere, tearing his hair and screaming.
Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, Yuri decided not to pick up the phone. He had seen cases where calling hastily backfired.
More worrisome than James was whether to inform him about the current situation. This chapter is updated first at g.com.
“Why have you been glued to the phone all this time?”
A voice came as the door opened.
Yuri, still with arms crossed and chin resting on his hand, turned his head slightly. Ling Xinlu emerged, wearing only a robe and drying his wet hair with a towel. He tossed aside his blindfold that had been uncomfortable, and though he had limped faintly until last week, his gait was now normal and indistinguishable from others.
No one would have known one of his black fox-like eyes didn’t function properly. Sometimes when picking things up, his movements slowed a little, lacking depth perception.
His playful, sparkling eyes, lively and lovely expression, light but composed attitude—everything was as before, or sometimes seemed more stable. No longer needing worried looks from others.
“It’s okay.” Yuri thought so too.
Sometimes when the topic came up, his expression briefly stiffened, but he had clearly regained composure, accepting his reality.
“........”
Yet there were still things Yuri hesitated to bring up, like now.
“Waiting for a call or something? Then why not just call first? Unless you’re deliberately playing tug-of-war with your lover.”
“Tug-of-war... I don’t do that.”
“Do you even have a lover?”
That carried a slight sneer.
Ling Xinlu, passing by coolly, took lemon juice from the minibar. His words also carried a faint sneer.
Yuri was slightly annoyed, feeling as if Ling Xinlu was mocking his incompetence in love. Still, Ling Xinlu wasn’t wrong, and the topic was quite unrelated to the matter Yuri had been thinking about, so he felt a little relieved.
“By the way, during your shower, Ling Tangyun called. He said he might come to Germany next week.”
“Big brother? What would he do here? If he’s coming because of me, tell him not to come. It’s a nuisance.”
Ling Xinlu waved his hand and plopped onto the sofa. Gazing out the window absently while sipping juice, he muttered, “I won’t even be in Germany by next week anyway.” Yuri gave him a puzzled look.
Ling Xinlu’s condition was nearly recovered despite still going to the hospital. His eye might require rehab for quite a while, but other than that, after a few more visits, no more hospital visits would be needed. But—
“Where will you go?”
Yuri turned back to Ling Xinlu and asked. Whether he returned to his family home in China, went to Seringe, or somewhere else, now that his body was almost healed, there was no reason to stop him. But he was troubled Ling Xinlu brought it up now. Ling Xinlu met his gaze with eyes that were narrow and smiling faintly. His mischievous lips parted.
“Because he’s back in Germany, so I wonder where I’m going?”
Hearing the sarcastic words, Yuri shut his mouth.
“.........”
Ling Xinlu watched Yuri quietly as if amused, eyes full of mischief like blaming him for not speaking.
Did he already know?
News that Regrow had entered Germany reached Yuri late last night—actually just before entering. It was news that a flight ticket from Dar es Salaam to Frankfurt had been booked. A few hours later, news came of who met him at the airport.
“Why are you staring? I have contacts too. I heard T&R’s old mobilization unit sent a message to assemble.”
“...I see.”
“But that’s it. If you hear anything useful besides that, tell me.”
“..........”
Yuri turned his back on the phone. He had no more business there.
No point hiding anymore. Ling Xinlu had heard everything he needed to hear, and James certainly would—Regrow had returned to Germany promptly after Jeongtae’s location was confirmed. He contacted his old comrades, the group that remained a painful past for T&R.
Anyone who knew them and had any sense knew what that meant. Whatever method they chose, trouble was coming soon.
“Poor Mr. Miller,” Ling Xinlu muttered with pity, sighing. Yuri nodded silently but kept his gaze on Ling Xinlu. Though he smiled faintly and seemed composed, Yuri watched quietly.
Ling Xinlu chuckled.
“Feels like gently brushing dust off a soft solo human face.”
“Sorry if that was unpleasant.”
“No, it’s better than I thought. Gabe’s been looking at me like that for days.”
Ling Xinlu waved lightly and sipped his juice. Silence settled briefly. Only the occasional sip sound broke it. Yuri couldn’t know what he was thinking, but seeing Ling Xinlu rarely lose control gave him some peace.
“Are your wounds better?”
Ling Xinlu suddenly asked, watching Yuri quietly as he drank juice, lost in thought. Yuri raised an eyebrow but shook his head.
“They’re fine.”
Scars might remain but would be hidden under hair. Yuri also looked fine externally, rarely touching his head unconsciously and only hurting when touching the wound.
“Hmm, I see,” Ling Xinlu set the empty juice bottle on the table with a soft clink. Yuri’s body made a faint sound as he adjusted his sitting posture. Ling Xinlu, hands clasped on his knees, stared straight at Yuri. Yuri, already sitting upright, met his gaze, guessing what he was about to say.
“It’s proper to wait until you’re fully healed before leaving, but you don’t have that luxury.”
Ah, of course. Yuri nodded silently, meaning it was okay and not to worry.
Ling Xinlu smiled faintly, voice seeming a bit softer.
“Look into flights for the day after tomorrow to Dar es Salaam. I have to go pick up Tae-yi hyung.”
“I won’t use any medicine,” Ling Xinlu added, making Yuri smile bitterly. Then he nodded slowly.
“I’ll look into it. Will you go alone?”
“People to help me from my family home are coming. We’ll meet in Dar es Salaam.”
So no need to find separate accommodation, Yuri muttered. Ling Xinlu suddenly remembered and added:
“I’ll tell the big brother who told Gabe to protect me, so don’t worry. ...Thanks for all you’ve done.”
Ling Xinlu bowed politely.
Receiving his thanks, Yuri knew it was time to part. Not too soon or too late—a proper farewell. Quiet and peaceful. Luckily, not all bad memories.
Yuri bowed back sincerely, putting genuine feeling into a brief “Likewise.”
They sat silently for a while, tasting the time they’d spent together. For Ling Xinlu, it was the most painful and difficult time in his life; for Yuri, a time he’d never forget in any way.
Finally, Yuri stood.
“The flight for the day after tomorrow, arriving by evening local time, right?”
Not much time was left. Booking a flight was not all—there were countless tasks to complete before leaving here.
“Ah...”
Ling Xinlu opened his mouth as if to say something. Yuri, about to turn away, looked back puzzled. Ling Xinlu stared quietly at him, then slowly shook his head.
“No, it’s alright. I’ll leave it to you.”
Yuri watched the smiling Ling Xinlu for a while, then nodded and sincerely said:
“Good luck.”
It was a peaceful, quiet full stop.
Kyle had no hesitation in his decision, and James lost the chance to hand in his resignation once again.
According to witnesses, when news of the incident broke, James was said to have frozen like a salt pillar for about five seconds, stunned. Then he bowed his head for a moment, seemed lost in thought, but soon stood calmly and composed.
“This time for sure.”
Muttering so, his steps to find Kyle were very light and brisk, almost joyful.
However.
Regrettably for James.
Kyle made his decision with no change in expression.
“Leave it be. The worst that happens is execution, right?”
And only if he’s caught peacefully, Kyle tossed the fax reporting that his own younger brother had just caused a bombing in Riyadh onto his desk carelessly.
At Kyle’s unexpected reaction—though not really unexpected, as usual frowning and muttering “It’ll be tough to stop (James),” James was momentarily at a loss for words and stared blankly at Kyle.
“...Then.”
“Trying to sweep it under the rug would be too costly. He’ll handle it himself. And if he ever shows up at my door, I might just shelter him.”
Kyle seemed to want to end the conversation there, asking James to keep him updated if the situation changed. Seeing the stunned expression on James’s face, he sighed deeply.
“This guy is really something, causing trouble like this. You look worried too, your face isn’t good. Don’t worry so much. He’s the type to survive wherever you throw him. It wouldn’t do if you got hurt worrying. You know how much I cherish and trust you, James? I really consider you family.”
Though the topic subtly shifted, James said nothing. Regardless, his younger brother was in serious trouble, and he wasn’t in a position to mock.
Kyle sighed deeply and finally noticed James’s clenched fist dropping his gaze.
“By the way James, what’s that in your left hand? Surely not your resignation?”
“.......”
“Why? Did I do something wrong recently? Cause family troubles you don’t know about? Tell me, I’ll fix it!”
And James, crumpling his resignation letter planned to hand over the moment Kyle spoke, glared fiercely at the persistent person trying to cling to him with a pitiful innocent face but failed to achieve his original goal.
“...Have you burned a book?”
Yuri asked while drinking coffee, frowning at James, whose face stiffened. The answer was as cold as his expression.
“I did burn one.”
“But they didn’t fire you?”
“They held a funeral for the resignation together with the book-burning right there.”
James shuddered, saying he cried out to the book, “Farewell. Go to a good owner in the next world,” and called it a horror he never wanted to see again.
“I see,” Yuri quietly nodded, thinking that if even that didn’t work, James’s resignation might never be accepted.
But Kyle had made an excellent choice. Back then and now, and in the future, no matter what disasters he might be, James was too valuable a worker to be abandoned, especially now as Regrow had become internationally wanted as a terrorist and calls flooded from all directions, with James handling them accurately and flawlessly.
The incident was announced several days ago.
In an industry where news spreads fast enough to be broadcast on public channels, and the situation was already past, the office remained in chaos even days after the broadcast.
During the mere twenty minutes Yuri spent finishing final paperwork for contract expiration at the office, James didn’t put down the phone for even that amount of time. And just as the clock struck noon, James switched off the office phone. Outside, the external secretary’s phone began ringing wildly, but inside the office was momentarily quiet. (Yuri was certain that James’s personal cell phone would start ringing soon after.)
“Given how things are, I don’t think we can have lunch together. Sorry for inviting you.”
James sighed as he glanced repeatedly at the incoming faxes. Yuri shook his head casually, having expected this.
“That’s fine. I had things to do anyway... So, with this, the contract is safely completed. All special clauses handled. Done, right?”
Yuri skimmed the confirmation, completed exactly as contracted, and handed it back. James glanced at it distractedly but surely had read every word—then said okay and filed it.
“How about renewing the contract? I prepared the papers. Want to sign while you’re here?”
“Well... I think I’ll take a week or two off first. If I renew now, Kyle might send me straight to Riyadh.”
Although Kyle refused involvement in the bombing incident and claimed noninvolvement, everyone who knew about T&R’s close ties with Rik knew it couldn’t be ignored. The situation was noisy and hectic, with phones ringing and people bustling everywhere like a beehive.
If there was any useful staff, they’d be thrown anywhere to put out fires. Yuri knew well he wouldn’t be allowed to sit idle. A competent and wise worker, just signing off his contract, he wanted a few days rest.
“Sorry, James, you’ll have to manage alone for a few days. I’m going to rest.”
Yuri’s casual but confident declaration made James tear off a fax sheet, grinding his teeth.
“Well, I’ll make this contract lifelong.”
“You know I don’t do lifelong contracts. Please keep it yearly as usual.”