A sneer laced with anger quietly crept into Yuri’s ear.
It seemed he thought he had some safe refuge to rely on. Yuri said nothing, silently rubbing the face she had been struck on. Ring Shinlu, who had struck her hard enough to rival a healthy man, staggered back a step, muttering curses to himself. Then he turned and limped toward the closet, pulling out a jacket hanging inside. Yuri, still rubbing her face, quietly asked,
“Where are you going?”
No answer came. He didn’t even look her way.
“Whether you go to Selinge or back to China, it’s useless to leave now. No flights are leaving there anymore today.”
Hearing that, Ring Shinlu, about to put on the jacket, stopped. Narrowing his eyes at Yuri with a strange expression, he finally walked to the window. The night view from this suite, better than most hotels, showed the orderly city lights below. It wasn’t the dark and desolate Selinge at night, nor the quiet streets of Dar es Salaam with only a few yellow streetlights.
Ring Shinlu, who had been nearly unconscious since leaving Selinge, glared at the night scene below. Yuri rose from her chair and approached him. Standing a few steps apart, she looked out the window alongside him.
“Is this your first time in Berlin?”
Hearing “Berlin,” Ring Shinlu clenched his teeth.
He was too far from the person he wanted to tear apart piece by piece. His anger boiled so hot his eyes turned red, his heart feeling like it would turn to embers any moment. If he didn’t shred that person now, he thought he might die first from this terrible rage.
“Why…”
He never finished the sentence—why did you bring me here? His trembling lips muffled the words.
His reflection stared back from the dark glass, eyes unblinking as if frozen, but he moved when Yuri spoke.
“Ring—?”
“.......”
But as Yuri opened her mouth, Ring Shinlu suddenly turned, lunged at her, grabbing her collar, and slammed her against the wall with enough force to make one wonder if her spine was hurt. Yuri gasped for air, the impact knocking the breath out of her.
“From the start.”
His sharp voice hissed through clenched teeth.
“From the start, I hated you. Since the moment you aimed a gun at me. I hated everything—your pointless reading of my expression, your careless tongue. There was nothing about you I liked. I should’ve known you’d meddle presumptuously. If I’d known, I would have gotten rid of you early on.”
His hand gripping her collar squeezed as if to choke the life out of her. Yuri coughed harshly, face flushing from lack of air, but before she could fully lose breath, Ring Shinlu slammed her against the wall again with the same grip. Her spine ached from the impact, but her breath returned.
Spasming, Yuri bent over in pain, and Ring Shinlu threw her off, glaring fiercely before limping toward the door as if unable to stay any longer.
Yuri immediately ran to block him before he could open the door. Just as he reached for the handle, blocked by her, he furrowed his brows in anger. Yuri lowered the hand rubbing her neck and spoke bluntly,
“I was contacted by Ring Tangwin. He asked me to take good care of you for about a week until someone suitable to protect you is sent.”
Ring Shinlu glared at her for a few seconds before scoffing in disbelief.
“From Legrow’s dog to now becoming your brother’s dog, huh?”
Yuri didn’t respond. Ring Shinlu, seeming uninterested in further words, pushed her aside. He tried to shove her, but Yuri stood firm in front of the door and didn’t budge. Internally, she thought, “With this much strength even in this unsteady, unbalanced state, once he recovers it’ll be hard to handle. What to do…” She simultaneously wished for his swift recovery and, paradoxically, hoped his condition stayed poor for at least a week.
Seeing her resistance, Ring Shinlu gave an even fiercer glare.
“Get out of my way.”
At his quiet command, Yuri silently shook her head. Ring Shinlu glared at her again, then scoffed once more.
“I thought you were sharp and clever… but I hate persuading idiots. I’ll tell you once for the sake of my big brother’s face. Even if I kill you here, no one will say a word to me. Killing a bug is no different. And I’m not threatening you for nothing.”
“Even if you kill me—”
Before Ring Shinlu could finish, Yuri answered abruptly. After saying it, she paused briefly but did not change her mind.
“Of course, you could kill me. Even if you don’t do it now, earning the enmity of both you and your father is seriously concerning. After all, I have to live too. Cutting off my livelihood would be nothing to you. …But.”
Yuri stopped again, knowing continuing would only anger him more. He sighed.
“If you leave here to find Legrow, you will definitely die this time. Knowing that, letting you go would haunt me till my death more than it would worry you or your father.”
Though she claimed not to have particular attachments to life, she still wanted to live long. She dreamed quietly of growing old peacefully, rowing a small boat far into the ocean, swimming in the middle of the sea, and being buried there. (If that failed, she thought maybe she’d catch a big tuna and be eaten by sharks until only bones remained, then return as a spirit.) But she never wanted to become a father haunted by a life filled with regret and guilt. Yuri stood at that crossroads.
Before she could finish speaking, a fist flew at her with no warning. With the door behind her, no space to retreat, the already painful blow landed even harder.
Yuri’s short groan was drowned out by Ring Shinlu’s fierce shout.
“You’ll definitely die? At that bastard’s hands?!”
".........."
Rubbing her face with the back of her hand, she noticed blood on her lips—probably a cut. But before she could wipe it away, another fist flew. The rough, trembling breaths weren’t hers but Ring Shinlu’s, shaking with rage.
She had guessed this would offend him deeply.
“You can’t beat him,” those words would tear apart his already shattered pride.
Her mouth tasted bitter.
“You couldn’t even beat him with a whole body intact, and now you want to face him with your eyes, arms, and legs all injured? If you insist, at least wait until your eyes heal—”
Her calm, faint question broke off midway. She sighed and stopped rubbing her brow.
“…After your eyes heal, then go. When you look well enough, I’ll let you go.”
His throat burned hot.
Right, of course. That eye would never really see again, and he didn’t know. He was just angry about being hurt.
Yuri’s gaze dropped without meaning to. For a moment, she couldn’t meet Ring Shinlu’s eyes. Though she thought she was used to hiding her true feelings behind a poker face and not lying, this moment was different. “Ah, it’s hard to deal with someone who has feelings,” she realized for the first time.
She looked down briefly, gathering herself. When she lifted her head again, she froze. Ring Shinlu was staring at her with an odd, fixed expression, looking her over carefully for a long moment.
".........?"
Puzzled, Yuri tilted her indifferent face slightly. Ring Shinlu blinked once and slowly spoke.
“My eye.”
Yuri stayed silent. She wasn’t sure if he noticed her trembling lips, but his gaze seemed to trace them.
His voice was quiet, slower, and clear, whispering low.
“It’s not healing.”
Half certain, half doubting, Ring Shinlu quietly pressed her for an answer.
Seeing his expression, drained of anger and resentment, Yuri couldn’t answer immediately.
It wasn’t wise to lie when it was impossible to hide forever. Yuri had seen many with severed limbs or permanent injuries. She had witnessed the explosive despair and rage that came when people finally emotionally accepted what had happened to them.
Before her stood a young man with a pale, expressionless face who could never see the world as he once did.
“…It’s not like that.”
Choosing silence over lying, Yuri muttered reluctantly. It wasn’t a lie. Dr. Byron hadn’t said it was completely useless yet. Maybe it could heal. That was her way to soothe herself.
Ring Shinlu looked silently at Yuri. His eyes darkened and gleamed more.
Suddenly—
──Bang!!
A deafening explosion rang right beside Yuri’s ear. The fierce vibration made her eardrum pulse. It was not just sound. A fist, brushing so close it barely touched her skin, pounded on the door she blocked. The blow was so strong it left dents on the iron door. Reflexively, Yuri turned her head aside, or the fist would have smashed her face.
“Looking at me like you’re going to cry?”
Tilting his head, Ring Shinlu pressed his face close to Yuri’s. His whisper was almost tender and soft. Yet his face, so close it was hard to look at, was chillingly cold.
“Yeah? You won’t see it again, huh? You’ll have to live the rest of your life with one eye? Every time you look in the mirror, every time you remember who made that eye like this? …Ah.”
He smiled faintly. Stroking the bandage over his one eye, he winked with the other. Then suddenly his smile vanished. His fist, still pressing against the door, grabbed Yuri’s neck.
The crushing grip, enough to snap her neck, dug into her throat. Without any slack, the hand tightened relentlessly as if to kill her.
No, he was trying to kill her.
His anger wasn’t only at Yuri. It was the rage and frustration of the entire situation pouring out on whoever was nearby.
In this moment, Yuri felt death’s presence keenly. This was what it meant to be pierced by a deadly intent. Instinctively, she grabbed Ring Shinlu’s hand. Holding his wrist with both hands, she tried to remove the choking grip, but soon gave up.
It wasn’t resignation to helplessness or giving up on life, nor weak humanism. Though it was laughable to herself, a sad feeling came first: What to do with this young beast, who had lost his loved ones, pride, and flawless body all slipping from his control?
She let go of his choking hand and, with fading consciousness, looked at him blankly.
Their eyes met.
Though Ring Shinlu was looking at her, his gaze suddenly shifted to the other—his horrific hate—and returned to Yuri. At that moment, his face twisted with rage so real and immediate it overtook all vagueness.
"──!!"
His choking hand seemed to release, but instead struck Yuri again. She staggered, falling to the floor by the door. Rubbing her sore neck, she looked up at him.
Ring Shinlu looked down at her and laughed—his face on the edge of fury.
“You’re smart? You make killing feel dirty?”
A kick flew at her. Reflexively, she flinched, and the kick caught her back near the waist.
“Hah, you’ve ended up with eye damage, been miserably beaten by the most hateful bastard, and are pitied by this worthless guy? Me? Ring Shinlu?”
He chuckled bitterly. Looking up at the ceiling, laughing a few times as if incredulous, he muttered, “I’m really going crazy.” Yuri slowly stood up, her back aching from leaning on the door, her face hurting too. But heavier than that was the ache in her heart. She stared silently at Ring Shinlu, who still looked at the ceiling without facing her. Then he coldly muttered,
“Look away.”
Yuri lowered her head slightly and fixed her gaze on Ring Shinlu’s tightly clenched fist.
It seemed he might cry. But no tears came. Perhaps he was barely holding onto a mind that might break down at any moment.
“It’s really a rotten feeling.”
He muttered quietly through clenched teeth. Then, throwing the jacket he’d grabbed at Yuri, she pulled it off her head. Limping, he went to bed.
Yuri silently watched him lie down with his back turned, pulling the blanket over himself. After carefully hanging his jacket back in the closet, she quietly sat in a chair by the door.
“Scared? You?”
Annette laughed loudly as if hearing the funniest joke ever. Fortunately, her chair was backed against the wall, or she might have fallen backward. Find the original chapter at g.com.
“What’s the matter? I want to go tell Derek right away. He’d definitely cry tears of joy.”
“Please be patient.”
Yuri muttered gloomily, regretting speaking up. If Derek heard that, he’d probably drop his work and come pointing fingers at her with laughter. He’d say, “What did I tell you? Don’t frown half-heartedly; just smile,” and lecture her.
“Yeah, I bet hearing ‘scared’ made you happy. That’s what you wanted to hear, right?”
“No, Annette.”
Yuri sighed. After all, she hadn’t exactly told the whole truth about why she returned so soon from the blind date James set up.
Annette, five years older, was a teasing older sister who loved to make fun of people over things like this, but also a very kind and gentle partner. Seeing Yuri gloomy, she quickly stopped laughing.
“Oh, Yuri, mon sucre, don’t be so gloomy. Your only mistake was moving your facial muscles a little less.”
Leaning forward, Annette gently hugged Yuri and kissed her forehead. With a French father, she was always openly emotional and affectionate, often calling Yuri “my sweet” even before they dated. She was also very perceptive; when Yuri gave her a blank look after such a nickname, she immediately guessed, “Oh, are you flustered?” (Then teased, “If you don’t like mon sucre, how about mon MM?” making Yuri deadpan.)
Pulling away, Annette softly stroked Yuri’s cheeks and tilted her head.
“But that girl’s weird. Raised like a prince in a greenhouse, huh? No matter how little she smiles, how does that face look scary?”
Yuri raised her eyebrow slightly. Annette had been like that from the start.
When they first met and were introduced as colleagues, Annette had tilted her head and asked, “Is something wrong at home?” When Yuri denied it with a puzzled look, Annette answered, “Because you never smile.”
“I don’t smile because I don’t want to be underestimated,” Yuri said seriously. Annette paused for a second, then laughed heartily, clapping her hands. She joked, “Why? Does smiling make you look stupid? I’m curious!” and kept poking Yuri’s side to make her laugh. Yet Yuri never smiled there.
Now, after working together for a while and growing comfortable enough to occasionally smile, Yuri still didn’t want to smile at work in front of anyone.
Starting work at T&R since childhood, Yuri hadn’t looked particularly tough, and her youthful appearance didn’t help—this had only gotten worse with age. She was often underestimated. Or rather, she was rarely not underestimated.
Furthermore, with difficult tasks and new clients, her young and neat face made it hard to gain trust. Until just 2 or 3 years ago, some clients seriously refused business, saying, “We don’t deal with minors.” (Kyle sometimes reminisced about that.) Thankfully, Yuri’s exceptional ability saved her, or she might never have been entrusted with such work.
She struggled with this, and after a day spent studying her expressions in front of a mirror, decided that a neutral face fit best—not overly grim or aggressive—and avoided looking underestimated. Her naturally indifferent personality helped, making it seem she had been like that since birth.
Later, when Annette heard of Yuri’s pitiful attempt, she scoffed, “It’s not your face, it’s your career that keeps people from underestimating you.”
“Smile, Yuri, I love your smiling face,” she often said playfully. Yuri liked her too. A smiling face is better than a scowling one, especially from someone you care about.
“But I really don’t get it. Why do they say you look scary? It can’t be just your appearance…”
Annette stared intently at Yuri’s face, then murmured suspiciously,
“Did you tell the Sicilian mafia boss at the last project’s end, ‘I might consider joining you if you don’t make me do bad things,’ and nearly get a bullet through your forehead?”
As Annette fired off her rapid questions, Yuri quietly turned her head aside.
Right after leaving that place, Annette had playfully hit her hard on the nape, telling her to die alone. Yuri, with her usual indifferent face, thought, “So all that ‘I love you, mon sucre’ stuff was a lie.”
Since then, Annette sometimes scolded her, “She usually doesn’t act like that, but when upset, she drops dangerous remarks like landmines.” Even now, she never missed an opportunity to bring up that time, and Yuri would shake her head in displeasure.
“No, it’s not that. They say it’s because I hardly show expression, so I look scary.”
Annette nodded knowingly, “Expression, huh? I get it.” Thinking quietly, Yuri wondered if it made sense. Annette smiled warmly and said,
“Well, you only spent less than an hour with them. Once you open up a bit, your expressions are easy to read.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Look now. You’re making a face like you’re falling down seventy floors underground. Why so gloomy? Did you really like that girl?”
Yuri blinked at the ceiling. “More like, I’m worried I made someone uncomfortable. That’s all. I’m fine, Annette.”
Annette stroked Yuri’s hair consolingly, and Yuri shook her head. Annette smiled bitterly and pulled Yuri into a hug.
“Not at all, Yuri.”
She lightly kissed Yuri’s cheek, then winked playfully.
“But well, good. You got dumped. If you start dating someone, I might be a little jealous.”
Yuri kept silent. She seemed to hear something meaningful, looking at her closely. Annette noticed and narrowed her eyes.
“You’re flustered now! See, it all shows on your face.”
Annette laughed joyfully. Hearing her long, pleasant laughter, Yuri finally cracked a smile, which made Annette clap and laugh even more.
“Oh, mon sucre, I really love your smiling face. It’s the kindest face in the world.”
Yuri looked a bit embarrassed but, hearing that joyful laughter, shook her head and smiled again.
She learned from dating Annette that being compatible as colleagues or friends was very different from being compatible as lovers.
Their serious relationship hadn’t lasted long but didn’t end badly. They remained partners at work and continued a comfortable friendship afterward.
“......”
Come to think of it, they hadn’t contacted each other for almost a year. Since leaving the intelligence agency, they met at most once every few months, sometimes not at all for years, but whenever they did, they shared