“All right, a perfectly good village to live in—it can’t go on like this.” Xie Facai was playing the peacemaker again.
Though both families were unhappy, the matter was settled just like that.
My brother gave twenty yuan as compensation for the broken glass. It should really have been forty-some, but their family had also been in the wrong, and besides, the cabinet they’d given me couldn’t be kept either.
As for Liu Yaolan’s debt, they would settle that themselves—it was none of my business.
Before leaving, Xie Facai said: he trusted the character of us Liu family people—we would absolutely not deny the debt.
I sneered inwardly and watched them walk out.
During all this, when Xie Yanlai left, he kept his eyes on the ground the whole time, not making a sound, fists clenched tightly. He probably hated my sister, yet couldn’t bear to curse her either.
He still had some kind of unspeakable feeling for Liu Yaolan, I suppose.
Is this what they call true love? The phrase made me laugh out loud despite myself.
Zhao Qin pointed at me and yelled: “What are you laughing at? All the bad luck in this family is because of you, and you can still laugh!”
“You don’t need to pick fights with me either. If I can’t afford to provoke you, can’t I at least avoid you?” With that, I went back to my room, completely indifferent to her cursing. She was nothing but a hysterical madwoman—I disdained to trade insults with her.
Before long, my brother came in after me. Seeing me packing up my bedding, he sighed: “Don’t bother with that. Your sister doesn’t live here anyway—just use her quilt.”
I smiled and lifted my chin toward the window: “You think she’d bear to let me use it? Forget it. I won’t be staying home much longer anyway. Better not to stir up trouble.”
My father couldn’t stand Zhao Qin’s nagging and walked out carrying his hoe.
Zhao Qin started feeding the chickens, cursing obliquely. “Loafing around the house every day, just looking at you makes me sick. Besides eating, what do you know! Little wretch—I should just let you starve!”
I only laughed at that, took out my sewing basket, and med several pairs of socks with holes, preparing to take them with me.
My needlework was never good—Zhao Qin had never taught me. I only learned later, when I went to work in the city, on my own. I made my daughter’s clothes and books and such all myself, so I’d gotten fairly decent at it.
My brother sat down beside me, his face full of distress: “Mom really has gone too far this time.”
I sat there threading my needle: “Brother, from the day I found out she’d hidden the truth and tricked me into marrying Xie Yanlai, I stopped acknowledging her as my mother.”
“Zhenzhen—”
“Don’t worry. Before, it was only beatings and scoldings, slightly worse food and clothes. But she sold me for seven hundred yuan, never caring a bit about how my life would turn out. She knew the truth and still forced me to go back. Tell me, can I forgive her? All these years, you’ve seen it yourself—she simply doesn’t like me. I suspect I’m not even her child.”
My brother said anxiously: “How could that be!”
I shook my head: “Say no more, Brother. She’s still good to you. You be good to her—I won’t object. But I won’t provide for her old age. I don’t know how things will turn out in the future, but I’ll only take care of Father.”
My brother’s hand rubbed along the edge of the kang: “I don’t know why she treats you this way either. Let me talk to her.”
“No need. I’m twenty already, and I’ve stopped hoping for family affection. Once I’m out, I’m going to work hard and pay back every yuan I owe you.”
He affectionately ruffled my hair: “Silly girl! It’s just a little money—your brother doesn’t need you to pay it back. Just live well, that’s all.”
I smiled and was just about to speak when a loud crash came from outside. My brother and I both jumped in fright and hurriedly stood up to look outside. A truck had scraped along the edge of our fence and stopped right in front of our gate.
Zhao Qin was so startled she nearly sat down on the ground, then began pointing at the big truck and yelling.
“The road’s this wide, and you drive into someone’s yard—what are you trying to do, kill someone?!”
The men on the truck quickly jumped down—two young fellows in work clothes, looking pale with fright. They both came down and apologized together.
“Sorry, auntie. Our brakes are a bit faulty. We really didn’t mean it!”
Zhao Qin waved her hand irritably. “Get that truck out of here right now—don’t block our path! And you’d better fix this fence properly, or I won’t let it go!”
“Don’t worry, we’ll fix the fence right away. But the truck—we can’t do anything about that. We’ll have to wait for our crew leader.” One of the young men grabbed a toolbox and crawled under the truck.
Zhao Qin watched for a while, then turned back and snapped, “What are you doing lazing around in the house? Hurry up and help your father in the fields!”
I climbed down from the kang. “Brother, you rest. I’ll go check on the fields.”
“I’ll go.”
I smiled and pressed him down. “You already work so hard at your job—how could I trouble you? It’s just weeding right now anyway, nothing tiring. You rest at home. Besides, I need to talk with Dad a bit. There are two people outside, and you’ve seen how she is—she doesn’t know how to receive guests.”
My brother had no choice but to agree. “Then take a straw hat. It’s getting hot out.”
I agreed, went out, picked up a hoe, grabbed a straw hat, and headed out.
Zhao Qin snorted. “Going to the fields and still showing off, wearing a straw hat—what a vain little thing. Nothing but a seducing slut.” She said the last part very quietly, but I still heard it.
I glanced back at Zhao Qin. “You even police me wearing a hat to the fields? Everyone who works the land wears straw hats. Why don’t you go out and scold them too?”
“I never made this much fuss when I worked the fields!”
“When I was four or five, you chased me out to work while you lay around at home. When have you ever worked the fields? Look at all that flesh on you—can you even squat down? Working the fields, my foot. You’re better suited to fattening up at home.”
The two young men held back their laughter so hard their faces turned red.
I walked out as soon as I finished speaking. Zhao Qin cursed furiously, but I paid her no mind.
My brother probably felt awkward, so he never came out.
Because of the broken engagement yesterday, I had become something of a famous figure in the village. So when I appeared, everyone stared at me with strange looks. And the gossips started talking about me right behind my back.
“Oho, so you dare show your face today? Zhenzhen, why did you break off the marriage?”
“That’s right, Zhenzhen. With a broken engagement like this, can you even hold your head up in the village anymore?”
“What a thick skin! If I were her, I’d have smashed my head against a block of tofu already. And she still has the nerve to come out!”
Hearing that, I glared fiercely in that direction. It was Wang Lanhua, the village accountant’s wife. Her family was well-off, and the man she married was considered capable, so she always carried herself haughtily. Now that she saw someone down on their luck, naturally she had to pile on and trample them hard.
Seeing me glaring at her, Wang Lanhua was startled. She backed up a few steps, then said defiantly, “What are you looking at? Was what I said wrong?”
“What did I do that deserves smashing my head against a wall?”
“You got divorced!”
“I got divorced so I should be smashed to death? What about your sister—what does she deserve? Should she hang herself or jump in the river?”
Wang Lanhua’s younger sister had been married three times. The first two times, her husbands died; the third time, she was living in Wang Lanhua’s house and had gotten a bit too intimate with Wang Lanhua’s husband. To keep the rumors about the brother-in-law and sister-in-law from spreading everywhere, Wang Lanhua flew into a rage and made a scene, then found a widower and married her off. Now she lived in a neighboring village. The two sisters often quarreled, yet they insisted on putting on a show of deep sisterly affection, afraid of the villagers’ gossip, and had kept it all hidden.
I had learned all this from Liu Cuizhi in my past life.
When Wang Lanhua heard me bring this up, her face turned purple. Just as she was about to curse me out, I cut in first.
“I’m not trying to mock your sister’s misfortune. It’s just that she has her own troubles, so why must you try to destroy me? I haven’t seduced any man, nor am I tangled up with anyone.”
Wang Lanhua snapped furiously, “You’re an unmarried girl—how can you say such things?”
I laughed. “Just because I’m an unmarried girl, you can smear me however you like? Besides, I didn’t curse you, so why are you getting so worked up? Or is it a guilty conscience? Otherwise, why don’t you tell everyone how you seduced a man?”
She probably realized I knew something, because she stopped gossiping about me. She spat on the ground and trudged off, muttering to herself. The other women, seeing that I was all thorns, didn’t dare say anything more and quickly moved away.
I rolled my eyes, shouldered my hoe, and walked on. As for the rest of the gossip, I’d just pret I didn’t hear it—let them say whatever they wanted! If I couldn’t even withstand this much, how would I get through the next few decades?
But if anyone dared point a finger in my face and curse me, I would definitely tear into them. I wasn’t reborn to suffer in silence.