I’ve walked this little dirt road in the countryside for decades, and I know it well. The corn fields beside it are already waist-high, and ahead are potato plants and soybean plants—this year’s harvest is bound to be good.
The sunlight is dazzling. With sun like this, the crops will grow well. I feel happy in my heart. Even though there are still plenty of troubling things, being able to come back is just wonderful.
As I was walking, someone came running up ahead to stop me—it was Song Chuan from the village. He was wearing a tank top even though it was early morning, grinning at me. He was only fifteen or sixteen, tall and skinny. A good-looking kid, unfortunately a fever when he was little had damaged his brain a bit, leaving him somewhat simple-minded.
The villagers all looked after him; whenever anyone made something tasty, they’d give him a share.
I smiled and said, “Chuan-zi, out playing?”
“Mm. Zhenzhen, you look really pretty today.”
“You look pretty too.” Just then, a big dark cloud drifted across the sky.
Song Chuan clapped his hands. “Oh oh oh, it’s going to rain! Then I’ll catch fish for you to eat!”
Listening to him, I suddenly remembered something. In my past life, he drowned falling into the river while catching fish.
It was shortly after I got married, on a day of heavy rain—he went out to catch fish and had an accident. His elderly mother couldn’t bear the blow and passed away soon after. Seeing him stirred a bit of pity in me, and I said to him, “If it rains, don’t go running around. Stay home like a good boy. It’s dangerous.”
“Here! Gu Niao.” He ignored me and instead placed two gu niao in my hand.
I smiled. The gu niao weren’t ripe yet at this time of year—still green and not tasty—but I took them anyway.
“Go on home. Remember, if there’s a heavy rain, don’t go out.”
He didn’t answer, but suddenly looked up and asked, “You’re not getting married anymore?”
I nodded. “Mm, not getting married.”
“That’s great!” He grinned, turned around, and ran off quickly.
Watching his back, I thought to myself, help people when you can—I should remind his mother not to let him come out on rainy days.
I carried my hoe into the field and saw my father squatting there, pulling weeds by hand. His hands were stained grass-green, with dirt clinging to them. He was very thin, huddled there in just a small heap, his back hunched over.
I went over and said, “You don’t need to do that. Use the hoe, or your hands won’t hold up over time.”
My father froze for a moment, looked back at me, and said nothing.
He stood up and watched me hoe the weeds, sighing.
The two of us worked silently in the field like that, and the whole morning passed. When we finished, we didn’t head back but found a shady spot to sit down. We had no water, but the fields were full of cucumbers and tomatoes at this time of year—pick a few at random and the villagers wouldn’t care.
We sat there, each eating a big tomato, sour and sweet and delicious.
I said, “Let’s pick a few to take back and chill in the well water. They’re so good.”
My father fanned himself with his straw hat and looked at me. “You’re not sad at all?”
I smiled and ate my tomato. “What’s there to be sad about? I’m fine. Whether I marry or not isn’t what matters. What matters is living well myself.”
My father was silent for a long while, then suddenly said, “Have you decided to leave with your eldest brother?”
“Mm.”
“Fine, things at home are just what they are. I don’t have the ability to change anything for you. I just hope you stay safe and sound.”
Looking at him, I suddenly said, “I’m not her biological daughter, am I?”
“No, no, that’s not true. Don’t let your imagination run wild.”
“She’s never been good to me. I think if she weren’t my birth mother, I could actually make peace with it. Just tell me the truth, okay?”
But my father shook his head. “No. She is your birth mother.”
I said nothing. He still didn’t have the courage to admit it. I figured he didn’t want anyone to know I was a bastard child—otherwise I’d have even less standing in the village.
“Dad, when I make something of myself someday, I’ll take good care of you.”
My father waved his hand. “I don’t need you to be successful. I just want you to be safe. That person from the Xiejia is no good—don’t follow her. It was my failure to intervene that almost ruined you.”
“It’s fine. If I don’t consent, no one can bully me.”
I walked back with my father. Several times I wanted to bring up my origins, but he refused to touch the subject, so I had to let it go.
As we passed the village entrance, I saw a man hurrying toward us. He was wearing a work uniform and carrying a toolbox, walking in a great hurry. My heart stirred at the sight of him—why did he look so familiar? It seemed like I’d seen him somewhere before.
I thought hard, then let out an “Ah!” I remembered!
This man was my daughter’s savior! In my past life, I had several children—one miscarried, two died of illness, none of them survived. Only my last child, my daughter, was raised safely.
But because my last child was a girl, when Xie Yanlai learned I’d given birth to a daughter, he turned around and left without paying the hospital bill or bringing me any food. By then, Big Brother and Father had already passed away, and I had no contact with Zhao Qin and her daughter whatsoever.
Alone, I held my baby in the hospital ward and cried bitterly. With no family or fris to turn to, a kind stranger paid my hospital fees, bought many things for the child, and before leaving, even left me a hundred yuan.
It was this very comrade.
At the time, his wife had died in childbirth, and he was grief-stricken himself. Yet even so, he helped me. I was deeply grateful and asked his name, but he never told me, and I never saw him again.
Who would have thought I’d meet my great benefactor on only my second day after being reborn!
I hurried over and said happily, “Hello!”
The man was startled, then smiled at me. “Hello. Oh, did you happen to see a truck? That’s my colleague’s.”
“I saw it! It’s at my house! I’ll take you there!”
The man looked a bit confused, so I quickly said, “I’m telling the truth! That truck broke down and it’s parked right in front of my house now. Two comrades are repairing it over there.”
I was truly overjoyed to see this man. To me, he was like an angel with a halo above his head—a genuinely good person.
Hearing this, he was delighted and said at once, “So that’s it. Could you take me over to have a look?”
“Of course, no problem!” I walked a few steps before remembering my father was still behind me. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I turned back and said, “Dad, hurry up and come along too.”
“It’s fine. You go on ahead with this comrade. I don’t feel like going home—I’m going to play a game of chess.” With that, he turned off down another path.
I watched my father leave, then quickened my pace to catch up with the comrade.
“Comrade, may I ask your name?”
The man said, “My name is Gao Shanfeng.”
“Oh, what a great name!” I said, giving a thumbs-up. “A name like that makes people feel as secure as a mountain. It’s really wonderful.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. My grandfather just picked it casually.”
But I didn’t see it that way—it looked like the name of a good person no matter how you looked at it.
In my past life, I’d had terrible luck with people—everyone I met was a scoundrel. Now that I’d finally come across a good one, how could I not be happy? I showed him around the village and asked what he was there for.
He said he was passing through transporting supplies, but his truck had broken down. He’d left two apprentices waiting with the vehicle while he went to borrow tools. They must have tried to start it themselves, and the truck had nearly crashed into our house.
I led him toward my home, being frily to him the whole way, but he was clearly a bit shaken. At first he still wore a smile, but then he grew serious, and the distance between us grew wider and wider.
Then I noticed many villagers watching me with strange looks.
I suddenly realized I had oversimplified things. All they wanted was for me to show them the way to the truck, but I’d turned it into some kind of family reunion. Could it be that he thought I was some lovestruck woman who went weak in the knees the moment she saw a city man?
The villagers would surely think that right after my divorce, I’d latched onto a man with good prospects. They’d probably look down on me even more.
Feeling utterly unable to def myself, I just followed behind him in silence.
After walking a while, Gao Shanfeng looked back and saw me trailing with my head hanging low, so he smiled and said, “Why aren’t you talking anymore?”
I shook my head. “Sorry. I only asked so many questions because I was curious. It wasn’t about trying to curry favor with you or anything.”
“I didn’t think that,” he said. “It’s just that hearing them gossip about you made me feel embarrassed.”