Shi Xinzhi’s visit to Shi Yu came as a complete surprise.
After hearing Ji Yao say those words at the traffic post, Shi Yu’s emotions had been in turmoil. Not long after, she received a call from Shi Xinzhi.
Father and daughter had always been distant, and their conversations rarely extended beyond the topic of arranged marriages.
So when Shi Yu answered the phone, she was impatient. After a few perfunctory exchanges, Shi Xinzhi insisted on meeting her in person.
After all, he was her biological father. She had no reason to refuse him entry. So Shi Yu went home, soothed Panpan, and quietly waited for Shi Xinzhi’s arrival.
“Mommy, when will Mama not be busy anymore?”
Soothing Panpan was only a temporary fix. After getting the crispy fried pork she had been craving, Panpan started clinging to her again.
Most of the time, Shi Yu was extremely patient with Panpan, but today, she felt irritable.
Waves of impatience began to spread, and seeing Panpan’s resemblance to Ji Yao only made it harder to control.
She took a deep breath, pushing those emotions aside, and hugged Panpan’s soft, sweet-smelling little body.
“Sweetie, have you forgotten? Mommy told you that Mama is very busy. If she has time, she’ll definitely come see you.”
In the past, whenever Panpan clung to her asking for Mama, Shi Yu would use the same excuse, but today, it didn’t work.
Panpan even seemed a little hurt.
Tugging at Shi Yu’s finger, she whispered pitifully, “Mommy, can Mama come to the amusement park with us?”
“Okay, I’ll ask Mama and let you know, alright?”
When dealing with Panpan, Shi Yu always spoke vaguely. She didn’t want Panpan to have too much contact with Ji Yao, but for a four-year-old, knowing that her parents were divorced was already a harsh reality.
Yet…
Life with Ji Yao had been too difficult. Shi Yu couldn’t bear to imagine how Panpan would feel when she grew older and learned what kind of person her alpha mother truly was.
It was better to let her grow up in the world of lies Shi Yu had woven, and when she was old enough to understand, Shi Yu would tell her everything.
“Panpan.”
A child’s attention span is short. Having eaten the crispy fried pork she had been longing for and having expressed her wish to go to the amusement park with both her mothers, Panpan started playing with her building blocks. When Shi Yu called her name, she looked up, confused. “Mommy?”
Shi Yu didn’t answer. Instead, she pulled Panpan into her arms, resting her chin gently on the child’s head.
At first, Panpan didn’t understand and tried to look up at Shi Yu, but the familiar scent of her mother made her snuggle closer. Her small hands clutched Shi Yu’s collar as she murmured softly, “Mommy.”
The year Panpan was born had been the hardest of Shi Yu’s life.
She had turned down many work opportunities and hidden away in this suburban villa. The only people she saw were Shi Rui, Xie Bing, and Xiao Di, with occasional visits from Shi Xinzhi and Huang Shan.
Shi Xinzhi had advised her not to get a divorce.
Huang Shan was even worse. She never had anything kind to say, criticizing Shi Yu for being disobedient for refusing to marry someone of equal status and instead choosing Ji Yao, who was poor and morally bankrupt.
Shi Yu had distanced herself, partly to avoid Ji Yao, but Huang Shan always showed up to make things worse, reminding her just what kind of alpha she had chosen after so much deliberation.
Ji Yao had seemed bright and sunny, and their chance encounter had sparked the beginning of a youthful infatuation.
But that brightness had vanished completely not long after their marriage.
Shi Yu had even been troubled before, wondering if perhaps she was too old-fashioned and lacked charm, but the final straw that broke her was Ji Yao’s refusal to acknowledge Panpan as her child.
There were no arguments, no fights only repeated emotional coldness, the venomous look in her eyes when she stared at Shi Yu’s belly, and the insistence on forcing intimacy. All of this was enough to prove how foolish Shi Yu had been.
So she moved out and, after giving birth to Panpan, never gave her a chance to see the child.
An alpha, after all, only wanted to cling to her in the most primitive and shameless way.
Because she had become pregnant without a permanent mark, her pheromones had remained unstable, making her pregnancy much more difficult than that of other expectant mothers. And the one responsible for all this suffering was Ji Yao.
“Mommy? Why are you crying?”
“What?”
Lost in her memories, Shi Yu had no idea when she had started shedding tears. She blinked, and Panpan used her chubby little hands to wipe them away.
“Mommy’s fine, her eyes just feel uncomfortable.”
“Then Panpan will blow on them for Mommy.” As she spoke, Panpan cupped Shi Yu’s face with her small hands. Shi Yu smiled faintly and said, “Okay,” letting her blow gently.
Shi Yu had only shed a single tear, but Panpan kept blowing endlessly, eventually tackling her to the floor in playful mischief. Shi Yu indulged her until the doorbell rang. Knowing it was Shi Xinzhi, she straightened her clothes.
Over the years, aside from insisting that she find an alpha, Shi Xinzhi had rarely interfered in her life and had even been very kind to Panpan.
Panpan was also very attached to her grandfather. When she saw him arrive, she greeted him sweetly and accepted the new building blocks he had brought her.
“Thank you, Grandpa.”
Shi Xinzhi would pat her head affectionately and say with a warm smile, “Panpan, be good and go play. Grandpa needs to talk with Mommy for a bit.”
“Go play with your new blocks. Mommy will join you later.”
“Okay!” Panpan nodded obediently and carried the building blocks larger than herself to the living room.
Shi Yu and Shi Xinzhi then went to the study on the second floor.
Shi Xinzhi was the most frequent visitor to this study, and every time, it was to discuss her remarriage.
Shi Yu had grown somewhat accustomed to it. After entering, she prepared the tea she had already set out for him.
“Dad, what brings you here today?” Shi Yu crossed her arms and sat opposite Shi Xinzhi, asking casually. Instead of answering immediately, Shi Xinzhi let out a heavy sigh.
He then spoke at length about Shi Yu.
Because she was a twin with Shi Rui, Shi Yu had been born with a weak constitution. Her fortune and luck seemed to follow a pattern of give-and-take when she was younger, it was manageable, with only occasional trips and bumps.
But as she grew older, accidents became more frequent.
Shi Xinzhi grew restless and sought out a mystic, who gave him a jade pendant for her to wear. After three years, Shi Yu’s luck did improve significantly. However, the mystic passed away ten years ago.
“Your fortune is strong, but you cannot bear it alone. The share that went to Shi Rui is enough to ensure his smooth sailing for life, but you without the jade pendant’s power, the consequences are unimaginable.”
“That’s why, from that time on, I started arranging frequent matchmaking for you.”
“The mystic said you must find a powerfully fated alpha to spend your life with. Otherwise, you’ll need to rely on external means.”
“That’s precisely why I’ve always stopped you from divorcing Ji Yao and even urged you to reconcile because Ji Yao’s destiny is powerful enough, I…”
“I just…”
I was just protecting Shi Yu in my own self-righteous way.
Shi Xinzhi couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud, because Shi Yu seemed not to have heard him at all, her eyes vacant and her face deathly pale.
Thinking she was frightened, he tried to comfort her: “It won’t happen now. Dad knows you don’t want to find an alpha, so I’ve hired professionals to protect you.”
“I already know about what happened last time at Century Garden. That Xie Bing is no good, she’s made plenty off you over the years. At worst, we can just…”
The more Shi Xinzhi spoke, the less confident he felt.
Because Shi Yu hadn’t uttered a single word, not even changing her expression.
Terrified, he stood up and shook Shi Yu’s arm vigorously. Her frail frame couldn’t withstand such rough handling.
Or perhaps it was his proximity that drove something away.
The more Shi Xinzhi thought about it, the more panicked he became. His lips trembled as he feebly called her name: “Shi Yu?”
“Are you finished?”
Shi Yu had actually understood every word he said, which indirectly confirmed that what she saw last time with Xiao Hu wasn’t false.
But it was too unbelievable, and her mind felt like a tangled mess, unable to think clearly or distinguish truth from falsehood.
In the end, she drove Shi Xinzhi out.
After closing the door, Shi Yu turned around with a dark expression and saw Panpan on the phone with Ji Yao.
A nameless fury surged within her, one moment it was Panpan’s face, the next Ji Yao’s.
Finally, it transformed into a grown-up Panpan wearing Ji Yao’s face.
The thing she most despised and regretted in her life was ever meeting Ji Yao.
At this moment, not even the affection from painstakingly giving birth to Panpan and carefully raising her for four years could shield Shi Yu from the disgust in her heart.
She didn’t just despise Ji Yao, she found herself despising Panpan, the child she had with Ji Yao.
Almost unable to contain her emotions, her voice took on an accusatory tone: “Panpan, who are you talking to?”
“It’s Mommy!” Panpan answered cheerfully, but shrank back upon seeing her mother’s face.
Shi Yu strode over quickly, snatched the phone, and hung up. Her shadowed eyes fixed on Panpan as she coldly demanded, “Who gave you permission to call her?”